#david heim

A Cop’s View From the Street

I ran across an interesting article in my favorite religious magazine, Christian Century. I say unusual because I don’t usually find an article about policing among my religious literature.

 In this month’s edition (March 9, 2017) Adam Plantinga, a San Francisco police sergeant and author of 400 Things Cops Know: Street-Smart Lessons from a Veteran Patrolman, writes about his view — “from the…

BY DAVID HEIM & ALEXANDRA LANGE BERNAL

Marching millimeter by millimeter, defying shavers and dress-codes as they move forward, a tiny army of brisk whiskers invaded EHL this November. They came in many shapes and sizes. Some were groomed to perfection, others madly violated by their confused owners. However, diverse as they were, man and moustache were uniting for a single cause: Movember.

Known as “Mo Bros”, these brave men and their furry friends followed what has swollen to an almost cult-like annual tradition to raise awareness for prostate cancer and hence, “change the face of men’s health”, with impressive success.

 The charity run on Movembers’ official website raised over $174,000,000 worldwide. The masses of men maturating moes made Movember one of the top 100 NGOs according to the Global Journal(!), and has found support from celebrities, such as Snoop Dogg, and commoners, like myself, alike.

  The Student Voice congratulates EHL for having contributed to this success with a best-of Movember edition. Since most of the moustaches featured will not be with us anymore following the end of November this rather personal feature will honor their legacy. 

PROFILES:

1. Pablo’s Moustache

The Man:

My moustache: Gets me rich (50-60 CHF sponsoring) and saves man-kind.

I like to: scratch it..tenderly

Helps me: definitely not on a date.

I’ll never forget: holding a presentation on why not to wear a moustache.

I miss it because: it’s part my soul.

The Moustache:

Feels like: hard Ikea-foot-rug

Age: 3 weeks

Most recently seen: Chilling on the couch playing COD.

Best groomed: sharp razor, brush, and tiny scissors to maintain physic.

  2. Adrian’s Moustache

 The Man

 My moustache: doesn’t mean much to me actually.

I like: drinking tea and smoking pipe with it

Helps me: as a perfect hipster disguise to get into clubs in Berlin

I’ll never forget: “Its only been two days man!”

I’ll miss it because: “no I won’t”.

The Moustache

Feels like: Following the input of two observers: manly rug

Age: 2 months and a half. (officially 2 days)

Probably to be found in: Somewhere chilling in the 18th century.

Best groomed: by twirling with the fingers gently

 3. Staff Guy

The Man

 My moustache: an old friend

I like: to hug the ladies with it

Helps me: make my face even more beautiful

I’ll never forget: when I had to shave it for a banquette and it was the first time anyone saw me without a moustache

I’ll miss it because: it keeps me warm

The Moustache

Feels like: a car-bumper

Age: 30 years

Best groomed: with an electric razor once a week

4. Anderson Yang

The Man 

-What it means to you?: symbol of “reaching the impossible”

-Favorite activity: scratch it

-Best aid in which situation?: hiding pimples

-Most memorable moment: keep you warm.

-Why you want it back?.makes me look older

 The Moustache

-Feels like: Like purkopine skin

-Age: newborn

-Probably to be found in: be on a European

-Preferred mean of grooming: moisturise

 AN ODE TO THE 'STACHE

Once a year, when Christmas nears,

You’ll see hair everywhere, up to your ears!

They multiply on upper lips,

You ask “Dresscode?”

Yet they give two s**ts.

They come in pairs, one left, one right,

And Suit the young and old alike,

They make the prude polite, the dull a delight,

Oh Mo!

In the darkest of days, you are my white knight

But wait, why wouldn’t YOU grow your own?

All of history’s great men have shown: the Moustache is an ego inflator

Until deflated later

by an angry German dictator

And ladies, Frida Carlo too

Knew how to wear a foo-man-shoo,

Hair belongs on the face, no doubt about this