#datteo fic

Matteo was 14 years old when he saw first saw David. They were on break, and Jonas had declared they desperately needed fresh air or they’d wither away inside. He was right, although Matteo really didn’t want him to be. He enjoyed spending his days at Jonas’ place playing video games, pretending that the world around them didn’t exist. That the fighting between his parents didn’t exist.

After a few days of consistent rainfall, the clouds had finally eased up to allow some sunshine. A gentle breeze gusted over the park, rustling his hair and misplacing a few strands as he plucked a flower from the ground and dropped it on Carlos’ head. The boy snorted and messed up his own hair in attempt to remove it.

“Matteo stop picking flowers,” Jonas groaned, not looking up from his phone for a second.

“I’m bored,” came the equally whiny response, earning him a laugh from Abdi.

“Dude, you’re literally always bored unless you’re playing video games.”

“So what? Video games are sick,” he retorted, flicking a smartie at the boy.

Jonas glanced up for a brief moment to roll his eyes, before returning right back to his phone. Matteo was almost tempted to ask what he was doing, but he knew that would only lead to one of the vague answers they had been receiving from Jonas as of late. He’d never admit it aloud, but he was beginning to worry slightly about what it was that he was so adamant on hiding.

He had forgotten to charge his phone overnight, which had to be some of the worst timing in the world because Jonas had chosen that particular day for wanting fresh air. He cursed his bad luck under his breath as he glanced about the park, trying to find some sort of entertainment. There was a woman there with her toddler, a family, another group of kids and a boy sitting alone.

Matteo eyebrows furrowed slightly as his eyes landed on him. His dark hair fell insistently over his eyes as he leaned over his sketchbook, headphones on to drown out the world around him. Matteo did that a lot at home these days, although he’d never tell anyone that. Despite not being able to see the boy’s face fully he could tell there was concentration written all over it, his hand guiding the pencil in smooth motions. He looked somewhat out of place at a park full on kids on a sunny day, wearing all black and radiating the energy of someone who didn’t want to be approached.

Mateo thought about how he felt when he was alone, and he couldn’t help but wonder why anyone would come to a park like this by themselves. Maybe he liked being alone? Matteo could hardly imagine what that would be like.

“I’ve got it guys!” Jonas yelled out in triumph, but for once Matteo’s attention wasn’t on him. It was still on the boy sitting by himself, who was now looking up curiously as if he could feel someone’s eyes on him. His gaze met Matteo’s, and for a brief moment he forgot how to breath. A faint smile ghosted over the boy’s lips, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

Carlos waved a hand in front of his face. “Hello? Earth to Matteo?”

Matteo just swatted at Carlos’ arm, redirecting his attention towards Jonas. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I know where we can get some weed to try!”

Matteo pushed aside the uneasy feeling in his stomach and forced a smile onto his face. “Nice,” he nodded, giving him a clap on the back.

“Lets go back guys. I’m bored as fuck,” said Abdi, getting to his feet.

Matteo groaned and held out his arms, which the boy begrudgingly took to help him up.

As they made their way towards the footpath, Matteo gave Abdi a playful shove. “So when I say I’m bored you guys make fun of me, but when Abdi says he’s bored we go? What the fuck is that!”

Jonas laughed and slung an arm over his shoulder, which had an annoying bunch of butterflies appearing in Matteo’s stomach.

“That’s because Abdi isn’t bored by everything,” Jonas explained.

“Oh fuck off,” he mumbled, earning himself another laugh.

Matteo glanced back towards the bench for a final time, only to discover that the boy was gone. He stared in confusion for a moment, before shrugging and tuning back into what Jonas was saying.

~

It was a few weeks later when term had started that Matteo saw the boy again. Despite the sunshine they were having that day, there was a chilling breeze outside that had people tugging at their coats and tightening their scarves.

Matteo was walking casually through the corridors, fashionably late to his Science class as he often was. He was scanning the area absentmindedly as he walked, in no particular rush whatsoever to reach his destination. His eyes landed on that boy from the park, which had Matteo double-taking in an almost comical fashion. There was no mistaking him - he had dark hair and warm brown eyes, wearing all black as he had been the first time. He was leant up against the wall with the same sketchpad in his arms, drawing away with his headphones on.

Something in Matteo had him stopping all of sudden, and as the boy slowly looked up at him he began to realise what an awful idea that had been. He had no clue what to say, so he ended up standing there silently for a moment or two, probably looking like idiot.

“Hey,” he settled on saying. “I’m Matteo.”

The boy’s smile was amused, but it didn’t seem unkind.

“I’m David,” he greeted. “Did you want something?”

Matteo wracked his brain for something to say that wouldn’t make him seem like any more of an idiot, but he came up blank. He was used to feeling awkward around new people, but this had to be a whole new level of mortifying - this guy was cool in an intimidating way.

“Uh...not really. You’re new, right?”

David nodded, still looking amused. “Yeah. I’m new.”

“Well...let me know if you need help with anything,” he said, not even fully aware of what was leaving his mouth. He honestly had no idea what was happening to him - usually he was never one to initiate something like this.

The boy’s playful smile melted into something fonder. “Thanks, Matteo.”

~

The following day brought rainfall with it, which really shouldn’t have been surprising given the angry grey storm clouds Matteo had seen on the way to school. It happened to be a perfect reflection of his mood at that moment after having locked himself in his room for the whole night to escape the sounds of his parents fighting. They had clashed for as long as he could remember, but he swore it had never been this bad before. Turning up the volume of his music helped in drowning out the yelling, but it didn’t drown out the knowledge of what was occurring between his parents in the next room.

It had started out with one tear. Then another. Then another, until soon he was crying and getting up from his seat in the cafeteria, mumbling something to his friends about needing to go through to the bathroom. He stumbled slightly on the way there, his throat tight as silent tears turned into sobs that he had to muffle with his hand. He reached the boy’s bathroom and grabbed on tightly to the sink like it was a lifeline, looking into the mirror and trying desperately to calm himself down somehow. He hated crying more than anything, but sometimes it was hard for him to stop.

He thought about his dad, and how he kept talking about wanting to move back to Italy. He thought about his mom, and how she wasn’t getting the help he knew she needed.  He thought about having to potentially move out, about how alone he would feel in a place by himself.

He was drowning in his own thoughts, so much so that he hadn’t even heard the door being gently pushed open and closed again.

“Matteo?”

The voice snapped him out of whatever daze he had been. He whirled around then, looking alarmed despite the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one who had access to this bathroom.

“Oh. David.”

The boy bit his lip for a moment, and Matteo could practically see the gears in his head turning.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

David raised a disbelieving eyebrow, tilting his head in a way that almost seemed playful.

Matteo smiled weakly. “I’d prefer not to talk about it.”

David nodded, and silence fell between them for a moment. Matteo was seriously considering just thanking him for his concern and relocating to a different bathroom, but David spoke up again before he could move at all.

“Wanna sit down for a moment?”

Matteo could barely conceal his shock at that. This boy, who he barely knew, wanted to sit with him...because he seemed sad? He contemplated this for a seconds, before nodding hesitantly.

“Sure.”

He wasn’t entirely sure why he had agreed. Maybe it had been the concern softening David’s features, or the warmth in his eyes. Either way, they ended up sat outside the bathroom, leaning up against the wall.

“When I’m feeling sad, there’s this song I listen to,” David explained, pulling earphones out of his bag and untangling them.

“Now you can’t judge for this,” he continued, which had Matteo smiling faintly despite the tear tracks that were still on his face.

He managed to untangle them after a few seconds, handing one over to Matteo and plugging them into his phone.

“You may know these guys,” he said, keeping his screen purposely shielded as he scrolled through his songs.

Matteo’s smile widened slightly as the opening verse began to play, giving the boy a playful shove. He could barely believe that this song was being played to him by a cool-looking guy in all black with a sketchbook on him at all times.

“Seriously? This is your taste in music?”

“The rest of my music is good!” he defended with a laugh.

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

Matteo bit his lip to contain a grin as David mouthed along to a few of the lines, elbowing him playfully. He was enjoying himself miraculously enough, which was the last thing he thought he’d be doing this lunchtime.

“Look - you’re trying not to smile! It’s working!”

“Shut up,” Matteo laughed, feeling more at ease than he had at any point during that day. David had been a welcome distraction, with his cheesy song and his charming smile, and from that moment forth their dynamic shifted to resemble something more like friendship.

~

When Matteo was 15 he spent a lot of his nights in his room, listening to loud music through his headphones to drown out the noise in his house. The fighting was becoming constant now, and the yelling was becoming increasingly aggressive in a way that had his heart racing in his chest whenever he heard it. It was one of these nights, except this night happened to be slightly different. David was over, but his parents didn’t know this - Matteo hadn’t expected them home until much later, and he was kind of having an internal freak out over the whole thing.

“Is this what you have to go through every night?” David whispered, clearly alarmed by the situation.

The boy’s usual air of confidence was gone, although he was clearly trying to maintain a brave face. It was pouring rain outside, and the insistent pattering it produced against the roof was only contributing to all of the noise in that house, drowning Matteo in sound that he desperately wanted to cover up with music like he always did. He hated the feeling of being lost in itself, but the feeling of being lost amongst the loud shouts that would resonate around his apartment was something he’d never be able to describe with words.

“It’s nothing,” he sighed, brushing David off. “It’ll be over in 30 minutes or so. Maybe 40.”

David’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern now. Matteo was so used to the sarcastic version of the boy he knew that it caught him off guard slightly.

“It’s fine,” he repeated, more insistent now, but David just tipped his head to the side, clearly not believing him.

“Is this why you never invite me over when they’re home?” he asked slowly, clearly trying to tread lightly.

Matteo bit his lip harsh to stop it from wobbling in the way it always did before he burst into tears. He got up silently and relocated to his bed, sitting to face the wall. It was a futile attempt to block David out, considering they were both in the same room, but it was an attempt nonetheless. There was silence between them for a moment, then he felt the bed dip beside him.

“Why do you do that?” David asked, softer now.

Matteo looked over at him in confusion, forgetting for a moment that he was trying to keep his gaze firmly on the wall.

“Do what?” he questioned.

“Try to hide whenever you’re about to cry.”

He had no idea what it was about the words, but they seemed to open the floodgates because suddenly there were tears rolling down his face. Matteo reverted back to staring at the wall, and after a moment he felt David’s head fall gently on his shoulder. They both remained like that for what seemed like ages, with David’s arms wrapped around him.

It probably hadn’t seemed like much to David at the time, but to Matteo it meant everything. He was so used to coping on his own, he couldn’t describe how nice it felt to finally be able to lean on someone - both physically and emotionally.

~

“You’re a fucking asshole!” Matteo laughed, throwing the controller down on the couch.

David laughed along beside him, his eyebrows raised in a smug fashion. “Yeah? Well at least I’m an asshole that’s better at Mario Kart than you are.”

That earnt him a playful shove,

It was a dreary Saturday evening, with no rainfall despite all of the clouds that were blanketing the sky. Matteo had been in a constant state of stress over the past week due to tests, and this was the first day he could confidently say didn’t suck.

Everyone knew David was ridiculously good at Mario Kart, and they’d always ask Matteo why he was ‘insane enough’ to play with him despite this fact. He honestly couldn’t tell them why, he just liked the bright smile that would always light up David’s face whenever he won. That answer sounded somewhat weird though, so he kept that safely to himself.

“What should we do now?” Matteo asked with a sigh, collapsing back down on the couch.

David collapsed down next to him, still smiling. “I don’t know. What do people usually do at sleepovers?”

Matteo looked away bashfully. At sleepovers with his friends, they usually spent their time discussing all the girls they liked, and that had never particularly been an interesting conversation for him so that was definitely out of the cards.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you like anyone?” he asked casually, eliciting a choked noise from David.

“Pardon?” he coughed, and Matteo couldn’t help but raise a surprised eyebrow.

“What the hell was that?”

“Fuck off,” David said with a laugh, but it didn’t have any heat behind it. “It’s just…”

“Just…” Matteo teased, mimicking David’s voice.

“Never mind. Do you like anyone?”

Matteo could feel his face growing warm already, which was somewhat mortifying. He contemplated it in his head for a moment, building up the courage, before letting out a heavy exhale and sitting up.

“I like Jonas,” he blurted out, and David’s face twisted from one of curiosity to one of shock to one of...no way. He was just seeing things.

“Oh. That’s cool...he seems like a nice guy.”

Matteo let out a dramatic sigh, playing with the bracelet around his wrist as he thought about what to say. David had been the first person he came out to, so the amount of shock that had been on face seemed kind of strange.

“He is,” Matteo nodded, frowning slightly at the way David was refusing to meet his eye.

The other boy suggested suddenly that they try drawing in his sketchbook, which had become somewhat of a tradition for them, and Matteo hastily agreed. The dreary sky outside filled the room with washed out lighting that Matteo had never really appreciated, so he closed the blinds and turned on his warm lamps before settling down at the table with David and picking up a pencil. He watched the boy draw for a moment, becoming slightly caught up on how endearing his look of concentration was, before starting on some of his own drawings.

Somehow, the topic returned to Jonas, and from there it turned to Matteo complaining about his hopeless crush on him.

“I never even realised how much I liked the idiot until he started dating Hanna. How unfair is that?” he asked, while David nodded along.

“That sucks,” he agreed, seeming absent-minded when he really wasn’t in the slightest. He was clinging onto every word, hoping desperately that this was some bad dream he could wake up from.

“And at school while he’s looking at Hanna, I’m…” he trailed off for a moment, lowering his voice timidly, “...looking at him.”

David nodded, his eyes downcast, and Matteo couldn’t help but think from the level of understanding on his face that he knew somehow what that was like. He brushed the thought off though - they were best friends at this point, and if David liked someone he would be the first to know. Right?

~

“I’m trans.”

Matteo looked up, trying hard to conceal his shock. The confession had seemed sudden, but from the look on David’s face he knew it had probably been on his mind for ages.

“Oh. Well that’s fine,” said Matteo, settling down on the couch next to him.

David’s smile looked so relieved that Matteo couldn’t help but frown.

“Oh fuck. Were you scared of telling me? David I-”

“Matteo it’s fine,” he interrupted with a laugh. “It’s coming out in general that I don’t like. Not just to you.”

Matteo nodded slowly, turning the information over in his head. “How long have you been thinking about telling me?” he asked.

David hesitated for a moment before responding. “A few months.”

That in itself had Matteo’s frown deepening. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. But I will be now, okay?”

The smile David gave him at that was blinding. He leaned his head on Matteo’s shoulder, letting out a shaky exhale. “Thanks.”

Matteo spent the following few weeks researching as much as he could about being trans, and David had only found out about it when he discovered his search history a month later. To say he was shocked as a total understatement, but Matteo just shrugged and told him it’s what all friends should do. David was visibly more relaxed around Matteo from that forth, smiling more, laughing more, talking more openly about why he needed breaks sometimes to go to the bathroom, and Matteo couldn’t be happier for him. Despite all of their playful insults towards one another, he really did want David to feel as comfortable as possible around him.

They were friends after all - probably even best friends at this point.

~

When Matteo was 16 he moved into a flat share. It wasn’t a sudden decision by any means; he had been discussing it with David for 6 months before he finally made the leap, spurred on by his dad’s announcement that he would be moving back to Italy. He lingered back for a week or two to make sure his mum was okay, but eventually he couldn’t keep justifying the stress it caused him to see her in the state she was in.

That brought him where he was now; at his flat share, unpacking his things. He didn’t own a lot, but David was there helping him anyway. The day had brought sunshine with it after a week of miserable weather, and Matteo couldn’t help but feel somewhat hopeful as he parted his curtains, allowing sunlight to flood the room.

“It’s a nice room,” said David, smiling as pulled a stuffed cat from one of Matteo’s bags. “And look - a nice cat too!”

Matteo rolled his eyes fondly, moving across the room and holding out a hand. “Hand over the cat.”

“What if I don’t want to?” David teased, stepping back when Matteo stepped forward.

Matteo just raised a challenging eyebrow, advancing forward even further. David turned around, laughing when the other boy wrapped his arms around him. They ended up stumbling about, laughing and attempting to throw each other off. The soft sounds of 80’s music that were coming from Matteo’s phone filled the room as they both fell onto the bed in a heap, with David hovering above him. His eyes were alight with laughter and mischief, which had a foreign feeling appearing in Matteo’s stomach. One that seemed awfully like...no. Fuck no.

Their smiles faded into something softer as they both lingered there, unsure of what to say or do. A loud bang interrupted them, and David practically sprung to his feet as Jonas, Carlos and Abdi waltzed into the room. Jonas had a slight wince on his face.

“Sorry guys. That was loud,” he said, sitting down casually on the bed beside Matteo.

“Jonas! Hi,” he said, scrambling up into a sitting position.

David took a deep breath, looking dejectedly between the pair for a moment. “I’ll go get us some...food,” he said quietly, walking hurriedly out of the room.

Matteo’s eyebrows were furrowed slightly with confusion as he watched the boy leave, tempted for a moment to get up and follow him. Jonas draped an arm over his shoulder, the goofy smile on his face suggesting he hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary.

“What about a party tomorrow night to celebrate your new flat, dude?”

Carlos and Adbi nodded eagerly, while Matteo seemed hesitant, shifting his gaze uncertainly. It wouldn’t be a tolerable party for him unless David was there, and with the way he looked leaving the room Matteo wasn’t sure if he was in the best state to come along. Parties were fun and all, but lately he had found them to be overwhelming with their loud, pulsing music and large swarms of people. A part of him knew it was largely because he was closeted, and watching girls and boys being able to make out freely without worrying created a jealous pit in his stomach.

“Yeah maybe,” he settled on saying, saying up from the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

He left the room then, paying no mind to the confused glances that his friends all exchanged. He found David hovering in the kitchen, putting together sandwiches and humming quietly to himself. Matteo watched the scene with a fond smile; David rarely let his guard down in this way. His hair looked soft, tinged gold from the sunlight streaming in through the window, and he had earphones plugged in as he moved about.

Matteo cleared his throat pointedly, prompting David to look over at him. He didn’t look alarmed at all, which had a fluttery feeling entering Matteo’s stomach as he walked over. David had been comfortable around him for some time now, but the realisation never failed in bringing a smile to his lips.

“You okay?” he asked, approaching cautiously.

“Yeah,” said David with a shrug, continuing to move about the kitchen.

Matteo raised a disbelieving eyebrow at that, moving forward to stand in front of the boy as he turned around.

“You seemed upset just now. Did Jonas and the boys do something?”

David stared back at him, biting his lip out of obvious frustration, looking like he desperately wanted to yell something out. Matteo stared back challengingly.

“You’re so stupid, Matteo Florenzi,” he mumbled, side-stepping the boy and approaching the sandwich press again.

Matteo raised a hand to his chest in mock offence. “Okay, okay, no need to be an asshole.”

David just shot him a smug smile, and Matteo couldn’t help but wonder if that had always caused a swarm of butterflies to appear in his stomach.

~

Matteo gave into hosting a party the following day after some convincing from his friends, who all insisted that this was ‘a big step’ for him that had to be celebrated. Matteo couldn’t help but think they were using this as an excuse to get drunk and make out with girls, but he had checked in with David to make sure he would be there so he honestly didn’t care less about what they did.

Hans, his new overly-enthusiastic roommate, had welcomed the idea with open arms and was currently helping him prepare the apartment.

“So Michi might come over tonight after the party,” he told him with a bright smile.

Matteo nodded along, having already been filled in on the unique relationship they shared. He set down some plastic red cups on the counter, raising an eyebrow at the man.

“You two are seeing each other again?” he asked.

Hans chuckled and shook his head. “Oh no, not at all. He’s far too boring for me to be ‘seeing’ him. We’re just-”

“Okay, okay, got it,” Matteo interrupted with a wince, rolling his eyes at Hans’ cackling laughter

They’d left setting up until the very last moment, which explained the sharp knocking that filled the apartment a few moments later. Matteo groaned slightly and walked over to the door, throwing it open with a fake smile.

“Oh,” he gasped after a moment. “David!”

The boy arched an amused eyebrow. “You seem surprised.”

Matteo’s fake smile melted into a genuine one as he stepped aside to allow David inside.

“I’m not,” he laughed. “I don’t even know why I gasped.”

That was such a huge lie Matteo was scared for a moment that David would see right through it, but he just smiled again and wandered over to the kitchen. He stood there for a moment, probably looking like an idiot with the dumbstruck look on his face.

David looked good. Like - really good.

He had always known his friend was attractive - he wasn’t blind by any means, despite his refusal that day to help Hans judge the hotness of men on Grindr. Right now though his hair was styled up, his eyes were sparkling with mischief and he wore a black leather jacket with jeans. Matteo was so caught up in his staring that he hadn’t even noticed Jonas, Carlos and Adbi enter the apartment, and that was virtually impossible given how loud they all were.

He felt strangely hot all over, absentmindedly closing the door as he continued to stare. Surely looking as good as David did at that moment had to be illegal, with the way Matteo had currently been reduced to a star-struck idiot.

The way he felt now, watching David laugh as he talked to Carlos, was completely different to way he used to feel looking at him, and that thought in itself was terrifying. Lately when he looked out the window during class his mind would wander to David rather than Jonas, and now that he thought about it his urge to constantly be around Jonas had diminished over the past few months. It had all become about David, and that realisation hit him like a truck as he continued to stand there dumbly.

He could not like his best friend. This could absolutely not be happening.

Later on when the party was in full swing he was having his usual back-and-forth with David in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter with a smirk while David stood in front of him looking unfairly good, a plastic red cup in hand. This was a normal thing for them to do at parties, but somehow Matteo could feel himself blushing about ten times more than he usually did.

“Your face is awfully red Matteo, are you okay?” David teased, earning himself a playful swat on the shoulder.

“It’s hot in here,” the boy responded stubbornly, taking another sip of his drink.

“Oh sorry - should I leave?”

Matteo bit his lip to contain a smile, rolling his eyes playfully. “You’re such an asshole.”

David just laughed, and that sound should not have had Matteo grinning in the way it did.

He was so fucked.

~

Matteo was 17 when he finally told David that his crush on Jonas was gone. He hadn’t even really been planning to in all honesty, but they were lounging about on Matteo’s bed one evening eating cheese toasties and when David had rolled over to look over at him, something in him just snapped.

“I like don’t like Jonas anymore.”

It had been a miserable day outside, with heavy rain pattering against the room and filling the silence that fell between them after that. Hans was at Michi’s place (Matteo still thought their relationship was more serious than Hans let on) and Linn was visiting family. They were alone there, looking at one another, and Matteo had to take a deep, audible breath to calm himself.

“Oh,” said David after a while, still looking somewhat shell-shocked. “When did that happen?”

Matteo shrugged, trying to seem like he had no idea despite being able to pinpoint the exact moment he had realised - at that party when they were 16. Truthfully, he was hoping deep down that this information would spur David on somehow.

“He’s kind of annoying, honestly.”

David laughed, and the sound was filled with so much relief Matteo couldn’t help but wonder. Was there a change David liked him back?

“Actually - I think you’re the annoying one. He’s nice.”

“Hey!” Matteo accused, smiling softly when David just laughed.

His gaze fell on David again, and for a few lingering moments he had the urge to just lean forward and close the gap between them. The thought scared him so much though that he refrained - he had kissed girls before, but he had never kissed a boy in his life. Let alone his best friend.

“Wanna play Mario Kart?” David asked him with one those mischievous smiles.

Matteo could only nod yes, playfully pushing the boy back onto the bed as he tried to get back and rushing toward the door.

“Fuck you!” he laughed, letting out a playful huff when Matteo just stuck his tongue out and ran towards the living room.

~

From that moment forth, something noticeably shifted in his interactions with David. There was a new underlying tension there that made him feel fluttery inside, and eventually even the girl crew began to pick up on it.

Sometimes everything would melt away around them when they looked at one another for a lingering moment, both clearly wanting to say more, do more, but not knowing if they should. Sometimes Matteo would laugh particularly hard at something David had said, and for a moment the other boy would just watch him, smiling fondly, looking as though he wanted more than anything for Matteo to this happy all the time. It was no secret that were inseparable at school, constantly exchanging glances, constantly whispering to one another, constantly sitting together. Even Jonas would look over at them sometimes, his smile knowing in a way that had Matteo’s heart leaping into his throat.

David would bite his lip sometimes when they were alone as though he desperately wanted to say something, but didn’t quite know how. Matteo had come dangerously close on multiple occasions to blurting the words ‘what the fuck are we?’ but he had always managed to restrain himself at the last moment.

“So Matteo,” Mia began, her voice gentle as it always was when she was hesitant about asking something.

The boy hummed and looked over at her, pausing his internet surfing for a moment. “Yeah?”

“How’s David?”

He very nearly choked on his own saliva at that, coughing violently and bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. He had come out to Mia about a year ago, but that was the last thing he’d been expecting to hear at that moment.

Mia laughed and shuffled over on the couch to pat him on the back. “Are you okay?” she asked, clearly trying to hide her amusement.

All Matteo could bring himself to do was give a weak nod. “I’m fine. And David’s also fine! I don’t know why you would…” he trailed off uncertainly and bit his lip. Was there any point in trying to deny it anymore?

Mia raised an eyebrow, her eyes shining curiously. “So you don’t like David then?”

Matteo let out a heavy sigh. “Okay yeah...I guess I do.”

She gave him a kind smile at that, clearing sensing his hesitance. Mia had always been that way; sensitive to what other people were feeling, sometimes scarily so.

“That’s great, Matteo. Are you going to tell him?”

Matteo gave a small shrug, not even fully sure himself. He had come ridiculously close so many times it almost felt as though he’d never be able to commit to it.

“We’ll see,” he ended up saying, and Mia nodded in understanding.

“He’s very cute,” she said, giving him a playfully elbow.

Matteo felt his face redden at that. “He is,” he couldn’t help but agree, smiling as Mia gave him a wink and leant her head on his shoulder.

“How’s Alex?” he asked, but the girl just shook her head.

“Lets keep talking about David,” she murmured, her tone pleading.

Matteo was almost inclined to ask what was wrong, but it was obvious that Mia didn’t want to talk about Alex at that moment so he gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze and began talking about David.

~

It was another rainy evening, and Matteo and David were both rugged up in sweaters trying to do maths homework. Matteo even went the extra mile and wrapped a scarf around his neck, because he had trouble concentrating on maths as it was without feeling cold.

David was leaning over the table, his chin rested on his hands as he watched Matteo write. There was a playful smile on his lips that Matteo couldn’t help but find awfully distracting, but he tried to focus anyway.

“What the fuck is this?” he groaned after a few moments, gesturing down at the page.

David arched a perfect eyebrow as he read over the question. “That, my dear Matteo, is an equation.”

Matteo snorted. “You’re annoying; you know that?”

David’s smile widened. He moved around the table to sit beside Matteo. “Okay...well do you know what type of equation it is?”

Matteo just gave him a blank look, which seemed to tell David what he needed to know.

“It’s a linear equation. They want you plot a graph.”

He would never admit to it, but Matteo did actually know what he was talking about. He was just finding excuses at this point for David to lean into his space, and this happened to be one of them.

“I have no idea what that means.”

David gave him a knowing look, but he leaned over anyway and picked up his pencil.

“First you find the x and y intercepts,” he mumbled, and oh god - David’s face was so close to his own that all he would have to do is dip his head slightly and-

“Like this,” said David, glancing over at the boy with a small smile as he wrote.

Matteo nodded absentmindedly, his gaze shifting involuntarily down to the curve of his lips. They looked so goddamn kissable, Matteo was pretty sure he was about to lose his mind. His eyelashes were long, fluttering delicately, and he wanted nothing more than to tell David how cute he was. So he did.

“You’re really cute.”

David’s alarmed gaze met his, his eyes widened. “Pardon?”

“You’re um...you’re really cute,” he repeated, wondering deep down where the hell this courage was coming from.

“Oh,” said David, softer now. “...Thanks.”

He put the pencil down in favour of shifting in his seat to face Matteo, lightly biting his lip. Matteo’s breath caught in his throat. He quickly got up from his chair, heart racing, and moved over to the kitchen.

“I have leftover pasta in the fridge! Do you want to have a lunch break?”

He glanced back at David, who was still looking at him in that same heated way. Matteo inhaled sharply and turned back around.

“Um, sure,” came the delayed response after a moment, and Matteo busied himself with heating up pasta for them.

Matteo had kissed girls, hell - he had even made out with them, but he had never kissed someone who he genuinely liked. The fact that this person just happened to be his best friend really wasn’t helping matters either. Maybe one day he would pluck up the courage to kiss David.

Today just wasn’t that day.

~

Matteo was 18 when he finally kissed David.

The sun was setting, colouring the sky an array of oranges and pinks. They were on their way back from the shop, carrying bags of bread and junk food. There was a light breeze ghosting over them both, ruffling their hair and tinging their cheeks red. Everything just felt right.

“I have a new crush,” said Matteo suddenly, which had David looking over at him knowingly.

He could feel a whole swarm of nervous butterflies in his stomach now as he looked back, trying to seem challenging. The streetlamps above their heads flooded the footpath with a warm glow, and it only served to make David even more beautiful than he normally was.

“Oh yeah?” came the teasing response.

Matteo ducked his head bashfully, feeling his face getting redder by the second. David had to be the only person who could Matteo Florenzi feel shy.

“Yeah. There’s this boy...I’ve known him for a while.”

David was smiling wide now as they continued to walk, and Matteo could feel his heart racing. It felt as though everything - all of the heated glances, the touches, the flirty exchanges - had been building up to this point. The point at which one of them would crack and finally say something.

Matteo had definitely cracked.

“Do I know him?” David asked teasingly, his glances and Matteo progressively lingering for longer.

Matteo was smiling too now. “You might. He has dark hair...he likes one direction...he’s a bit of an asshole-”

“Hey!” David accused, and Matteo couldn’t help but laugh. “I only like one song!”

“Tell that to the fucking poster in your closet!”

It was David’s turn to laugh now, and as Matteo looked over at him he could feel the urge to grab this idiot’s face and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe growing stronger.

David’s laughter died down after a few moments. He looked over at Matteo, clearly understanding what the boy was thinking. He had known him for 4 years now, and he had pretty much become an expert in deciphering what every single one of his facial expressions meant. It was admittedly a nuisance sometimes, but Matteo really wouldn’t have it any other way.

When Matteo suddenly came to a halt, stopping right underneath a streetlamp, David did too. David’s eyes were shining with the same confidence that had pulled them together in the first place. He wasn’t hesitant at all; he was simply waiting for Matteo. And Matteo was completely done with holding back.

He stepped forward then, right into David’s space, and the boy gently set down the bags he was holding. There were a few cars zooming by, and the air around them was cold, and Matteo was feeling overwhelmed in the best way possible.

After years of repressing everything he felt, after years of hopelessly pining after his friend, he was about to kiss the boy he liked. After crying alone in his room, after coming close so many times it was surreal, he was leaning into David’s space. He was bringing a gentle hand up to cup the side of his face.

“It’s you,” he mumbled. “It’s been you for two years now.”

”I sure hope so,” David laughed quietly, which had Matteo rolling his eyes and closing the gap between them, bringing their lips together in a gentle kiss. He drew back slightly, before smiling and leaning back in, pressing his lips firmly against David’s this time. David trailed his hands up Matteo’s sides to hang loosely around his neck, pulling him in as close as possible, trying his hardest not to smile too wide. His lips were just as soft as he had imagined, a warm and welcome contrast to the air around them, still sweet from the lollies they’d had earlier. It was David; warm, comforting, inviting, and he was honestly kind of mad at himself for not kissing him sooner because oh man was it good.

“I like you too,” David mumbled between kisses, and it was impossible for Matteo not to smile at that.

He still saw the frightened look on David’s face from that morning. God, he never wanted to see David be so hurt ever again. He never wanted David to look at him with such a painful expression ever again. He took out his phone and opened his WhatsApp chat with David. The last message where David was telling him he wants nothing from him was staring right into his face but he didn’t let that discourage him. He knew now that David was acting out of fear and panic. He started typing:

Could we talk tomorrow?

And hit sent. He didn’t expect David to answer for a while. He knew it always took him some time if he even answered but a few seconds later he got a response.

Yes

For a few seconds he thought whether he should offer for David to come to his apartment or meet him at his but he didn’t want David to feel cornered so in the end, he settled on:

Could we meet at the park like last time? At 2?

And once again got an immediate response:

Ok.

He wanted to see him right away but he knew it’s better to wait otherwise he might say something that would have David run away again and that is the last thing Matteo wanted. He really wanted to stop hurting people around him.

After researching for another few hours, watching various transgender youtubers (he had no idea there’s so many of them out there) he fell asleep.

On Sunday he woke up at 11 with a panic that he missed the date but he still had 3 hours. Why did he agree to meet him so late? He should have said noon. He missed David. So much. Just yesterday he was lying in his bed and now he’s gone again. He hoped he could somehow fix the situation. He hoped David would give him a chance. He didn’t know what he would do if David would break his heart again. But he started to realise that maybe David’s heart was breaking just as much as his in the last 2 weeks. Hopefully, he would know soon.

Matteo spent the next two hours being skittish, as he couldn’t really concentrate on anything. He decided to leave an hour in advance just to be sure he’s there on time.

As the 2 o’clock were nearing Matteo was getting more and more nervous. He didn’t really know what he’s going to say to David. He knew he wants to be with him but he didn’t know what exactly he needed to say to make it a reality. He tried to think of some sort of speech he could give him to make him convince how much he cares for him when he noticed David slowly coming towards him as if every step has taken enormous strength to take. Finally, he reached Matteo.

“Hi” Matteo started.

“Hi” David almost whispered, head down, avoiding Matteo’s eye contact.

They stood there in silence for a few seconds. Matteo didn’t know what to say. How to start. How to make him stay.

He slowly raised his hand, making sure David sees what he’s doing, and caressed David’s cheek, before gently taking his chin and raising his head. David closed his eyes at the initial contact but finally opened them and met Matteo’s eyes. There was so many mixed emotions expressed in them – fear, hope, pain, love. He looked at Matteo and Matteo knew that he’d do absolutely anything for this boy.

“I really like you too.” He said with as much determination and love as he could muster in his small body. He knew it wasn’t probably the best thing he could say at that moment but he had to start somewhere.

“Yeah?” David asked, his voice shaking.

“Yeah. Very much so.” He said, smiling with what he hoped could be seen as reassurance.

“And so…you…don't have a problem with…?” David tried but couldn’t really finish the question.

“I like you,” Matteo repeated. He knew he needs to say something more but to him the answer was simple. He liked David. He wanted to be with him. Everything else they can figure out together. “I want to be with you.”

“Yeah?” asked David for the second time but this time there was a hint of his old confidence.

“Mmhm.” Matteo simply replied.