#datt

I grinned expectantly as I threw open the church doors with two jars tucked under my arm. All attention landed on me as I interrupted the congregation - including the glowering eyes of my mother. The priest, who was new, young, and recently graduated from… Bible college, halted his preach. My mother publicly apologized, rising to her feet, but it was too late.

I opened the jars and released the hoard of butterflies and mother into the church. Some elderly women let out screeches, the young children rose from their seat and began chasing them joyously, and some adults just laughed. The members were generally used to my harmless antics; I presumed that some old timers were so used to it that it wasn’t a normal Sunday without a prank of some sort.

A laugh bubbled in my throat as a lovely Easter Tiger Swallowtail, with its black on yellow stripes, landed on my lower arm. I raised it to me. My mother was still attempting to reach me amidst the chaos. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a handsome church boy staring at me.

“Friends,” the priest suddenly boomed, "this young child has given us a gift from the Lord. The Lord gave us nature, and this young, brilliant child has brought one of nature’s gifts to the Lord’s doorstep. Calm yourselves, and let us pray!”

I met the priest’s eyes. How surprising. The old priest always lost his temper and berated me. Embarrassed me. However… the priest would learn. It was his first time around. He was just trying to cover up for his embarrassment. 

I finally stirred so that I could set the jars on an empty bench. The butterfly departed, joining the rest of the flock. A small child came up and grabbed my skirt. I smiled and patted his head.

“Y/n, Y/n! How did you catch them?”

I crouched down to his height amidst the depleting chaos. “Well, you just sit really, rally still around flowers and they land on you. Then you put them in the jar.”

“Can you give me one —"

His mother suddenly yanked him back. “Young lady! Is it not enough for you to disrupt the congregation every Sunday? How dare you speak to my son —“

I was suddenly grabbed by the collar of my shirt. I let out a yelp of pain, coming face to face with my mother. Her face was beet red. “You told me you got a job. You told me that, for once, you were making yourself useful! How f - how dare you disrupt the Lord’s house! Ten - no, twenty lashes are in store!”

The priest pushed his way through the crowd. “Friend," he spoke smoothly. “Are the butterflies not beautiful?”

Tears stung the creases of my eyes. But I didn’t want to let her see me cry. My mother suddenly collapsed on her hands and knees She clasped her hands together and began praying furiously. “Dear Lord, please forgive my heinous child. She knows not what she’s done. Please, hear my prayers, and release her from the devil that holds her captive —“

The priest crouched down as well, praying. I could barely hear him over my crying mother. I took a few steps away. “My Lord, thank you for sending this child with gifts from heaven. Please, bless her and her mother with all of earth’s riches —“

I began to sneer. I couldn’t take it anymore. These snide assholes and their god would not listen, and I had no devil within me. I grabbed my jars and was about to make my exit. I peered over my shoulder one last time.

That handsome church boy was still looking at me.

I sent him a smirk.

~~~

“It… it’s you.”

I raised my head from my spot in the parking lot. I was surprised, when, instead of those ruthless bullies, it was the handsome church boy. He looked nervous. He was wearing his crush on his sleeves.

I took in his figure. He had large arms and callous hands, indicating that he was a working man. His face was pleasant to look at. It was full of youth and demure, with prominent dimples and curly brown hair. He had brilliant blue eyes and his Southern accent was thick.

“Why, hello there, handsome,” I giggled. “Finally worked up the courage to talk to me, huh? I’ve seen you around. We have history together, you know.” 

His cheeks reddened and his foot shuffled, digging into the plot of grass. I was leaning against the lamp post while sitting in the thin strip of grass that separated the parking lot and the front of the school. “I… I noticed. A while ago, actually.”

I sent him a grin and patted the grass in front of him for him to sit. “Spare me a moment of your time, handsome. You must have some if you’re talkin’ to little ol’ me. Does that face of your’s have a name?”

I loved the affect I had on him. Many a time I’ve had confused, shy schoolboys who convinced themselves a girl like me was either worth fixing or worth pursuing. But… this one was worth my time. He was handsome,, after all. I’d certainly noticed him before and how he stared at me in class.

“I’m Arvin. Arvin Russell. Your ma and my grandma and sister go to church together,” he introduced, jutting his hand out.

I took it slyly, firmly shaking. “Pleasure to meet ya, Arvin Russell. You’re funny. Don’t you also go to church with your grandma and sister?”

His cheeks flushed further. “Well, uh, I mean, yes, ma’am. But I don’t really want to. Especially with that new priest. I’m not a god-worshipping man, and attending church is a god-worshipping activity,” he explained.

My eyebrows raised. “Well ain’t that something special. I ain’t ever met a man who isn’t god-worshipping or god-fearin’. You’re something special, Arvin Russell. Something special indeed.”

An impish smile stretched across his face. “I take it you’re not much of a godly woman yourself.”

“Can you tell?” I laughed. “Well… Ain’t that your sister coming out of the front? I’ve noticed that you drive her home every day.”

He perked up and peered over his shoulder. He stumbled to his feet, and I mimicked his movements, grabbing his upper arm. The plush cotton shirt was soft under my skin and his aged overalls suited him well. He turned back to me, staring at my hand.

“I didn’t realize you… noticed me,” he stuttered. “I really have to go now. There’s some nasty men out there that go around hurting my baby sister —“

“I know, I know. But before ya go… Are ya busy tonight?”

He gave me a peculiar stare. “Well - no, most people wouldn’t be.”

“Great!” I interrupted. “That means you can join me tonight. Meet me in the forest tonight. I’ll show you how to really live life to the fullest, Arvin Russell. You’re something special.”

“Where?”

“You go to the church. Go through the grave yard to your immediate left. Once you come across my pa’s grave, F/n L/n, go right into the forest there. Got it?”

“Y - yes, ma’am.”

“You’re a polite boy, Arvin Russell. Now, go take care of your baby sister.” He began pulling away, but as he did so, I grabbed his jaw and turned his head, placing a kiss on his soft cheek. He was absolutely stunned, and I swore that I’ve never made a man redder in my life. 

I pulled away, sending him one last grin. I crossed my arm ad sent him a flirtatious wave. His jaw dropped and he nodded and waved, but he took off like the wind. My gaze followed him as he went to a red car. His sister, who had apparently seen the scene, was giggling and teasing the boy viciously. 

I had never seen a man drive off faster than he did.

When he’d left, my excitement died. I returned to my sitting position. And I continued to wait for my mother. She always put off picking me up because she hated me. She’d never said it to my face, but… it was clear. She said that ‘it slipped her mind.’ But I knew better.

So, I waited.

~~~

I skidded down the base of the tree and hopped onto the ground. The grass and shrubbery crunched under my bare feet. My shoes had been abandoned by my father’s grave, where I kept my belongings while I went wild. It was habit.

In the distance, I recognized Arvin’s red car’s headlights pulling up to the church. The car stopped and the man stepped out. As soon as the headlights went out, a small speck turned on. Arvin had clearly brought a flashlight with him. Silly boy.

His pace was quick as he dashed across the graveyard. He was quite clumsy, tripping over plots of land on occasion. The flashlight jostled in his grasp as he approached.

Suddenly, the flashlight was on me. His pace slowed. There had been a previous panic to his movements, as though he expected me to make a fool out of him by not showing up at all. I shielded my eyes from the light boring onto me. He stopped in front of me, finally realizing to pull the flashlight away.

“Hello there,” I silkily greeted, sending him a reassuring smile.

I was wearing loose clothes; a skirt with no leggings underneath - my mother would have a hissy fit if she found out -, men’s boots which I had stolen from the previous priest, and my father’s old suit shirt, which was dirty and thin from usage. I crossed my arms and leaned toward him as he stumbled over his own greeting.

“Hello there, ma’am.”

“As cute as you are, Arvin Russell, it’s Y/n L/n to you. We’re friends, aren’t we? No need for such politeness,” I giggled.

“Yes, m - Y/n.” He shifted his weight. “So what are we doing here?”

I snatched the flashlight from him and turned it off, letting us use only the moonlight as our guide. “I’m goin’ to show you how to really live,” I started. “All you folk who stay inside all day unless you’re working… you aren’t really appreciating nature like you should. I’m going to show you what it’s like to live without societal pressures.” My fingers ghosted over his wrist. “No rules.” I grabbed his wrist. “You’re completely free, boy.”

Even in the darkness, I could tell he was blushing from how he tensed under my hold. I dropped the flashlight by the base of the tree. “Wait, we can’t see —“

“Yes we can,” I insisted. “The moon and her stars are out.”

Before he could reply, I took off, pulling him with me. I maneuvered around dense trees. He let out a shout of shock. I recognized his reluctance and let go. But I still ran. I ran like the wind.

“Hey, wait!” he called after me. 

I finally heard his footsteps thudding to follow. I let out a laugh as I weaved around another oak. I knew the woods like the back of my hand. I knew where I was going, and Arvin Russell knew I was going somewhere.

I heard him laugh, too, as he panted to keep up. The forest was silent and asleep except for out footsteps as the forest expanded. I knew where I was going. And I couldn’t wait to show Arvin.

His footsteps were right behind me, and I heard him gasp out a plea to slow down. His fingers wrapped around my arm. I laughed and suddenly swerved to him, recognizing the puddle of mud beneath us. His chest collided with me and I burst into giggles as we tumbled to the grassy terrain. 

I let out an ‘oof’ as his weight rested against me. He immediately scrambled to remove himself from me. He was still panicked, and I couldn’t have that. Instead, I pushed his right arm and pushed him to the muddy ground. Mud splashed on his overall person and me as I straddled him. I grabbed his shoulders and leaned over him.

For a moment, I wondered if I was making a mistake by inviting him. But when the moonlight illuminated his exhausted features and I saw that twinkle in his eyes, I knew I did not. 

He burst out into laughter, playfully pushing at my arm. “You’re batshit crazy, woman! Why, I’ve never met someone like you and I never well! Why, hell…”

I leaned closer to his face. His eyes crinkled out of joy and he turned his head, spitting out some mud-filled saliva. A smile graced his handsome features and I pressed a bold kiss to his forehead. “Damn right you won’t ever meet another person like me. I’m as real as they get, Arvin Russell. You should feel honored that you’re here, covered head to toe in mother nature’s shit.”

He snickered. All of his demureness had washed away. His hand reached up and he slipped a strand of hair behind my ear. I hummed and leaned into his hair. When he pulled away, I did the same, combing his soft brown locks out of his face.

“Nature’s shit,” he repeated. “Never gonna see mud the same again.”

“Good. That’s exactly what I wanted. After tonight, tomorrow… After you’ve met me, you ain’t her gonna see the world the same again. You got it, Arvin Russell?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he hummed. “And I hope I never do.”

I swooped my head closer. A silence fell over us and all that indicated we were even here was our labored pants. I noticed his gaze sweeping across my face and he was staring at my lips with a hunger. As tempting as it was to kiss the handsome boy, he had to earn his keep once and for all. He had to earn his worth.

I suddenly pulled away and rolled off him. Arvin propped himself up on his elbows. “Where are we, anyways?” he inquired as I offered him a hand and pulled him to his feet. He dusted off the larger mud clots on his pants off, and they splattered on the ground.

I tilted my head. “Wouldn’t you like to know, handsome? I’ll have you know, I know these woods like the back of my hand. So don’t you worry for even a second that I don’t know the path.” I pursed my lips, observing both of our filthy attire. “Now, we’re covered head to toe in mother nature’s shit, and I intend to do something about it. Come along, Arvin Russell. We’ll get cleaned up right away.”

I grabbed his wrist and began pulling him along. He laughed again, much more at ease. He tugged at his arm so that my hand fell into his. He interweaved our fingers, squeezing tightly. “Do ya live around here?”

“No. We’re solving this issue the old-fashioned way. Or, at least, my way,” I answered, rubbing my thumb over his callous hand.

We held hands, walking side by side. Ahead was a clearing that led to the river. The rushing water sang. It was oh-so very tempting. I pulled him into the clearing and down to the dirt edge. He suddenly pulled his hand away. “Wait, isn’t it freezing?”

“What, are ya scared, Arvin Russell?” I said, turning to face him as I backed into the rushing water.

“Well, no —“

“Then get the hell in here, ya pussy!” I exclaimed cheerfully as I stepped ankle-deep into the water. Out of habit, I felt the world floating above me and I fell back. I splashed, the world enveloping me completely. I let the water hug my entire body, only my fingers and toes above water. I closed my arms and smiled as the mud drifted from my clothes. 

Although it was muffled, I heard more splashes as Arvin entered the river as well. My body began drifting and I finally started floating down the stream. I finally emerged, floating on my back as I tried to plant my feet on the ground. I let out a gasp as my foot slipped, but Arvin grabbed my arm, pulling me to his chest.

I planted my arms around his waist and met his panicked, nervous expression. He still had yet to submerge his upper chest and face, so as we gazed into one another’s eyes, a mischievous idea crossed my mind. His eyes widened at my smirk, as though he immediately detected that I was thinking something.

“Why are ya looking at me like that, Y/n?”

I stroked his cheek. “Well… You may be no god-worshipper, but you still show up, don’t ya? I’m thinking. You’ve been baptized in the name of god. But I think, to truly initiate you into this one-person club of mine, I need to baptize you in the name of yourself. Of nature. Of the flow energy around us,” I remarked in anticipation.

His cheeks reddened. “Are you serious?”

“Never been more so.”

I pushed at his chest and stepped away. I replaced my hand on the small this back, holding him at a side-angle. He didn’t think anything of it, succumbing to my madness. His knees buckled enough so that only his head was above water.

“In the name of me and you and mother nature’s holy ghost, I bless you with a lifetime of freedom and joy and beauty. A lifetime where you flourish in a way that nobody else ever will. You, Arvin Russell, will blossom into a beautiful person with this gift. I bestow upon you the holy ghost of free spirit,” I improved loudly.

I paused for a moment before starting to pull his head and upper chest underwater. His eyes were closed. I held him there for a minute, admiring his handsomeness. His spirit. And then I pulled him up again.

His strong hand grabbed my arm and used my body to stand upright once more. That sparkle in his eyes had never been so prominent. We were chest to chest, the water rushing past our bodies. I held onto his shirt, as the pull was strong. But, in this moment, I knew. 

“Arvin Russell, you’re something special. Something special indeed.”

He seemed bewitched. Enchanted. Our faces grew closer. And this time, I let the kiss happen. I led him into the kiss. He was sloppy and inexperienced; just how I liked it. He was so naive. So sweet. So innocent. And yet, there was that fire in him that I’ve been searching for my whole life.

Arvin Russell, you fascinated me.

I suddenly lost my footing. My body submerged in the water, and I pulled Arvin down with me. Water swarmed into my lungs, but I paid it no heed. The water began to pull our bodies down the stream. Both of us were completely submerged, but our eye contact remained.

He was panicked. Scared. But, as I gazed into his eyes, it all seemed to vanish. He was letting me lead him without question.

Our bodies washed up on the shore. Both of our bodies immediate reaction was to throw up the water. However, we both broke out into a fit of laughter. Him, laying on top of me, and me, breathless from his beauty. When we finally caught our breath, I broke my attention away from him, observing our surroundings.

We had washed upon shore. However, the river raged even louder; we were almost at the waterfall. The moon was our lamppost and our surroundings were oh-so clear. We were already soaked to the bone, so of course a certain something came to mind.

Arvin stumbled to his feet and helped me up. The smooth, light stones crunched under my bare feet. It felt like marbles massaging my toes. Arvin held my hand. There wasn’t an ounce of fear or regret in his eyes. He didn’t have to tell me. I already knew he was living.

“Where next?” he gasped, spitting out some more water.

I didn’t reply, pulling him along the shore bank. The roaring grew louder until we came face to face with waves crashing off a cliff. The terrain was jagged and rocky, having a natural wall built, only letting the water through. His eyes widened, as though connecting the dots.

I looked at him expectantly. “Care to voice your concerns?”

Surprisingly, he shook his head. “I trust you. You’re crazy, but god… you’re a genius.”

My heart skipped a beat and butterflies swarmed in my stomach. Not wanting to allow my thoughts to get all muddled, I jumped into the ravine. My feet wee planted against the dirt and rock floor. My legs were strong. Many a day I had jumped from the waterfall and plunged into nature’s tears below. 

Arvin stood beside me. He grabbed my hand. He was nervous, but he trusted me. We stared over the edge, the water glimmering and reflecting the sky above. It was still, unmoving. The small lake below called to us like a mother to her newborn baby.

“One,” I counted, "two… three!”

Our feet lifted off the edge. The wind rebelled and fought against us, a fiery cushion against our faces. For a moment, the adrenaline left me paralyzed. But as I gained control of my body, I tightened my grip of Arvin’s hand and I pulled my knees to my chest. Arvin let out a terrified, guttural holler. A tribal escaped from my throat as well as the water grew nearer.

As we were about to collide, we shut our mouths and buried our heads in our chest. The water hurt for but a moment, but it was quickly soothed as our bodies sunk into the water. Our fingers almost drifted apart, but Arvin’s arm shot out and grabbed my wrist.

I let my legs disconnect from my stomach and I opened my eyes. The water was murky and dark. I began kicking my feet, and the moment my head emerged from the water, I pulled Arvin up with me. His head emerged and he panted heavily, the fear slowly escaping his expression. My heart thudded, pounded, in my chest. I swore that, if I didn’t have a rib cage, it would’ve jumped from my chest.

I rotated my body so that I could float on my back. Arvin mirrored my movements, floating beside me effortlessly. Peace and comfort washed over me as I stared at the star-lit sky. The waterfall echoed around us, waves crashing over the cliff. The moon twinkled in the sky, as though it was congratulating us on our bravery.

“That was…” he trailed off, kicking his foot.

“Yes, it was,” I finished. “But it’s only just begun, Arvin Russell. The first day of the rest of your life starts now.”

“If it’s with you, I can’t wait.”

Silence fell over us. Unanimously, we mustered the strength to swim to shore. When we walked out, the weight of the water dripping from my bodice weighed me down. I felt no anxiety as I unbuttoned my soaked shirt and let my skirt fall to the ground. At the same time, Arvin kicked off his boots and pulled off his shirt, revealing his toned chest.

It was tense, but in a good way. We plopped on the rocky ground and held hands. His hands were soft with wrinkles. I leaned my head on his firm shoulder. I often spent my days and nights like this; but never with someone else. Never with him. And that made all the difference.

We fell back on the grass.

“Do you… have places to be tomorrow?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Never. This, here, with you, is my home.”

“Then… can we stay here the rest of the night?”