#datingappstruggles

Hey Maybe Nots and Maybe Yeses! Welcome back to the wild world of online dating, where the journey to finding "the one" is often a hilarious, frustrating, and sometimes disconcerting adventure. 

Today, we're taking a break from date mishaps and diving headfirst into the messy jungle of online profiles before the actual dates even happen.

Let's be honest, dating apps are like catalogues – a never-ending parade of faces and bios with a healthy dose of "buyer beware." 

You craft your profile – a carefully curated selection of your best angles (the ones with your best features and that make you look flawless even though we all know that we're hiding that wrinkle or piece of fat that insists on popping up on our clothes no matter what) and hobbies. Some apps will also have fancy personality tests (a definite plus in my book!), and bam! You're ready to unleash yourself on the dating pool... or should I say, the dating swamp?

Because let me tell you, you'll find everything and anything in this virtual melange. Exes from your high school days resurfacing with questionable selfies? Check. Married people testing the waters? Definitely check. Then there are the profile ghosts – those elusive beings with zero photos or bios relying solely on the power of… faith? Look, I get it. Married folks might not want their significant others to stumble upon their profiles (maybe avoid being there all together and set things straight at home). But seriously, how do all the others expect to attract matches based solely on blind trust in the online dating gods?

Alright, let's move on to the profile pic enthusiasts (the ones who actually include pictures of themselves, bless their hearts!). Girls, we're notorious for mastering the art of the flattering filters (not that I used them, because I actually avoid filters!). But guys? It's a different story. Sometimes, it feels like they take selfies with a potato in dim lighting. Pro tip, fellas: take some time, experiment with angles, and trust me, the natural look is always a win. Nobody's perfect, but let's aim for "approachable" rather than "make-me-run-screaming."

So, you've swiped right (or left, depending on your fancy), and the magical match appears. Now comes the real gamble: who breaks the ice first? More often than not, the pressure lands on you, lovely ladies. And guess what? If you don't take the initiative, Mr. Match might ghost you faster than a free donut at a police station. Some other times the conversations fizzle out faster than a damp firework, leaving you wondering if you even sparked anything at all. But fear not, love warriors! Every now and then, a diamond in the rough emerges. Someone who can banter, hold a conversation that goes beyond basic small talk, and actually makes you laugh. Then comes the date-planning hurdle – aligning schedules, finding the perfect spot… it's like trying to herd a bunch of cats (have you tried doing that? Yeah.). When the stars finally align and you get to meet, a lot can happen (I mean, have you read my past blog entries?). 

Speaking of possibilities and complications, a potential new connection is simmering on the back burner, with an added twist – a different country is involved! Will this lead to a hilarious first date mishap or a blossoming romance across borders? Stay tuned in a week or two to find out!

So, onto those burning questions: would you swipe right for a profile with no picture or generic scenery shots? And if your date doesn't quite live up to their profile's expectations (photos or personality), would you give them a chance or call it quits on the spot? 

Let's hear it in the comments, friends! Spill the tea on your dating app adventures, mishaps, and maybe-nots-turned-maybe-yeses! Until next time, keep swiping, keep hoping, and may the odds be ever in your favour!

Hey again!  H here. I know we’ve posted a lot in the past 24 hours, but boy, it’s been an exciting few days.  I wanted to write about an experience I had last night with a dating app, and figure out where I should go from here. 

To start off with, I hate dating apps.  I absolutely hate them.  K says they’re good for me to put myself out there or whatever.  BUT, I’m super awkward with talking to strangers online, and I’m not good with the pressure of dating apps.  You’re supposed to be sexy, cool, mysterious, enticing, adventurous, and confident, and you’re supposed to relay these qualities in about 5 pictures and a carefully crafted bio about yourself.  Well, it’s safe to say I don’t possess any of those qualities, so that makes it very difficult for me. I also don’t really want to mess around.  I’m at the point in my life that I want to settle down and have a serious relationship that might someday lead to marriage.  I’m slightly old fashioned, but dating someone means a lot to me, so I’m not doing this to play games and sleep around.  If that’s something you like to do, cool and keep doing it!  It’s just not for me. 

Anyway, I posted some new pics on my dating profiles, and killed some free time I had this weekend swiping left and right on various male profiles.  I matched with some guys on Bumble, and decided I was going to message them, since the girls have to initiate conversations, and the hope that maybe something would come from it.

I got a notification that I guy I messaged had messaged me back, and I was nervous and excited!  Who knows, maybe this one would finally work out?  Well, I was extremely disappointed.  A transcription of the conversation is written below: 

Me: “Hey, how’s your weekend going?”

Boy: “On a scale of 1-10, how much do you want to suck my dick?”

Me: “Lol 0 bye”

Boy: “Dang”

DANG.  He must be so disappointed that he didn’t get better results from that message.  Part of me wants to ask how successful he's been with that approach.  Unfortunately, that isn’t the first time I’ve received a message like that on a dating app, and it probably won’t be the last.  The problem with these messages that continue to flood my inbox is that they make me want to give up. 

I originally wanted this post to be empowering, but if I’m being honest, I’m having a hard time feeling empowered.  I feel discouraged, frustrated, and disappointed, and I wonder if the multitude of those types of messages amount to my worth.  I’m extremely tempted to delete my dating apps, say “fuck love”, and be done with it.  However, if I do that, I’m wasting time being alone and not trying to find my person.  Finding love is hard, finding a decent person to spend time with is hard, and getting over your insecurities and problems to put yourself out there is FREAKING HARD.  Despite how hard it is, I know what love has done for me and for those around me, and I know it’s worth the hardships.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it suck less. 

I don’t have all the answers, in fact, I don’t have any answers.  I don’t know how to brush those messages off and keep going.  I don’t know how to let go of the feeling that I’m just going to keep being disappointed with every match I get.  I don’t know how to remain positive and hopeful with this process.  This shit is hard. 

If you have tips on how to feel empowered through dating app frustrations, good dating apps to use, or helpful tips on how to navigate online dating, let us know.  Our dating culture has completely changed, and we need to support each other if we’re ever going to figure out this whole love thing. 

For me, the quest continues.