#dating cycle

MEN BEWARE!!

If you get involved with me and we start to date at that very moment you have officially entered my Dating Life Cycle. Let me explain this life cycle. Once again this post is based largely from the survey results I have gathered from my most recent & newest editions to My Collection of Male Disappointment.

Key assumptions that have been made and should be taken into consideration are:

We know each other in real life [not Facebook/Twitter world].

We both like each other and want to continue “getting-to-know” each other [Usually I’m the main one doing the liking].

We see each other’s faces at least once a week [we date –chilling at your house doesn’t count].

You’ve made it to date number 4 [the one where I pay for you].

And so the cycle begins…

Phase 1 – the beginning.  I am infatuated with you. You can do no wrong in my eyes. You are in fact a perfect speciMAN. I daydream about you incessantly. I want to know everything about you [you intrigue me].  We talk day & night, for hours on end. We make lots of future dated plans.

Phase 2 – the middle. We enjoy being around each other. PDA all the time. We do fun things. I’m willing to rearrange my life to be with you and you oblige me and my zany requests [if you know what’s good for you]. My daydreams now consist of my picking baby names & trying to decide if I would seriously change my awesome last name for something that is …less than [FYI my last name is only 1/3 of the reason why I’m so great]. Things look as if they could be heading towards a relationship…

Phase 3 – the end? [Yea for HiM]. I lose interest in the man at hand. The “newness” of knowing you is wearing off. I am no longer impressed with your corny jokes & punch lines. I spend my time elsewhere [with my girlfriends] & my thoughts are no longer filled with you. Sleep is important again. I’m not willing to lose sleep to talk or hangout with you. The few times we manage to hang out, things are very dry [mostly because I’m usually the one talking and nurturing the conversation]. I look at you and I feel…NOTHING. No feelings, no desires, no wants…just nothing. Realization: I so over you.

The cycle doesn’t end here…It simply begins anew with another speciMAN [out with the old & in with the new]. & once again familiar feelings return and then I begin to play the “getting-to-know-you” game yet again. Me & the “new” HE do “fun” things together… & just like that, I’m infatuated all over again.

After initial infatuation I realize we have nothing in common. It’s easy to fall in love with someone but the hard part is staying there [not that I love these jiggaboos]. But there needs to be a real connection. Sex does not count, because you can “connect” [have sex] with anyone as long as you parts are complimentary [meaning: penis in vagina]. I need more than that. I wish I knew what “the more” was. Maybe I have a character flaw; Never being satisfied. I’m starting to realize that the main victim of my Dating Life Cycle is ME [yikes!] this sheeyyets unhealthy… That being said, I hope this new one can break this vicious cycle.

Sooo... I haven’t been on any dates in a while [Maybe by choice, but then again maybe not]. I don’t know. I think I’m starting to get tired of dating…  I mean I still like getting dressed up, hair, makeup, the whole nine yards, but I do that every day for work and then I go out with my girls and then AGAIN on Sunday when I go to church [if my lazy self wakes up for church]. I’m tired of all the hoopla that’s involved.  That being said… I have a blind date tomorrow night [call me a hypocrite if you want] either way I’m still going [Like Allen Iverson I am the question, maybe tomorrows date will bring an answer…]

HOLD ON NOW!!! I know what you’re thinking…

 "Dakota is about to boo up with the next dude that gives her a decent compliment"

No, no, no. I’m just saying as much fun as my dating life has been [secretly sobs inside…lol] I think it’s becoming too routine for me. I need to find/meet/do someone…*ahem* I mean something fun and far from the norm. I think I’m getting caught in another forever repeating cycle [called dating].

THE DATING CYCLE: Meet someone, talk on the phone, play the “get to know you game”, go to dinner, go to movies, spend the night [Oh & somewhere I there the man tries to sleep with you]… rinse, hang to dry and repeat when needed…

 Yea I’m over it all. Plus, I’m pretty sure my mind can’t take in any more information about a man that will only have my attention for 1 or 2 months at best. A man’s random pet peeves, favorite TV shows, hobbies, and sibling’s names [along with other miscellaneous unusable information] is taking up important space in my memory that I need to be using to gain more intellectual knowledge which will eventually increase my pay grade at work [because I’m all about my Benjamin’s in case you didn’t know]. Getting to know people is fun but after the date is done and all games are played, honestly, I wish I never knew some of you. And sadly that’s knowledge that I can’t give back.