This week, fast forward to past weekend. Damn, we didnāt even have Sex?
SO!! Here is the thing, I am at this point in my life, where I have this very kool, and comfortable living⦠thingā¦and.. I like my friends the way they are⦠I mean. I have a cat! Lol and I have an amazing job, and I travel ā¦a lot⦠to like Mexico and Jamaica. ANYWAYS! IRL ā I am looking for someone to complement my life, someone to be there⦠and Someone one who āpreferablyā wont yell at a Mario Party game when he loses. Or she! I mean I like both, but yes, Yes, this happened.
You know when you invite a guy over, and you clean your whole house beforehand. EVEN that back corner of your toilet bowl, because you think damn! A guy is going to piss here and will see this one black spot. Well, I did that. I cleaned my whole, and I mean my WHOLE entire apartment. Bitch I even cleaned my closet, and no Eminem was not playing at that moment.
I looked fresh fam! my hair was so soft; I mean I washed it⦠(you know what I mean). Rule #1, never invite a new person to your house on the first dangout!... OH yeah he called it a dangout, because we were splitting on things we contributed to this first āDateā. I canāt!... #smh ā¦He walked in, with a raggedy shirt, and was sweating⦠Iām sorry, You needed 3 hours to get ready so you can sweat at my HUMBLE ABOAT!. I have nothing against bigger guys, I like themā¦sometimes. But maybe you shouldnāt tell me you were once a coke addict, and that you hate sushi! Because we are no longer friends. So, upon playing Mario Party, I was like ok! So, you are not going to be my friend. You will never probs see me again, so why not try to be seductive.
I flirted, I was laughing at āNo funny jokesā and I even went up to make us drinks a few times. Then I pulled my shirt down a little more and sat on the same couch. Put my leg overtop, and⦠NOTHING! Oh lord! At this point we were watching a movie.. On āAheemā āAheemā NETFLIX! 0_0. Isnāt the whole point of Netflix to watch an old movie so you can get busy!! ⦠I guess not. Him ā āHey so since I have been drinking, can I sleep over?ā I was like⦠yeah on my couch, ((cuz bitch not horny no more)) and I can give you blankets. Heās like.. or on your bed⦠Iām like⦠OR THE COUCH! Listen, ladies⦠if a man does not treat you like a princess for the night.. Donāt open your legs! End. Of. Story. So, I think he took the hint because I didnāt want him sleeping over⦠I wanted him gone!
By far the weirdest part of all, is that he woke me up at 2am. Woke me up to say he was leaving⦠First of all, thank you for telling me. Yes, I 100% appreciate that I was made aware you werenāt stealing anything. But dude⦠FINALLY?. And this was by far the BEST outcome I could have had. Welcome to my blog bitch! Because you were the final straw for making me want to write about your nut balls!. WHICH, may I add Donāt taste great!.
Back next week with another nut case! #Staytuned #Matryoshkas Stay Tuned!



















