#datanullyx

These stories broke my soul but in a really good way

11. What is the first episode of the show you ever watched?The pilot. I am a total continuity stickler ( I know, I chose the wrong show!) and having just watched The Fall S1 and unrelatedly booked Streetcar Tickets and having fallen for Stella Gibson I figured ‘d see what else my Blanceh had done. I knew TXF was coming back and had just finished Buffy so I figured when I saw Gillian was involved I’d give it a go. I actually watched the pilot three times before I made it to Ep 2, once I was sleepy, once I was with my sister and time three I think I watched the first 10 eps without stopping!19. If you’d never watched TXF, do you think your life would be significantly, tangibly different today?

Indubitably. Watching the show and becoming involved in the fandom has completely transformed me. On the plus side it got me writing, has brought me new friends, made me more aware of what I want to do and who I want to be and got me travelling.

On the negative, I’ve also experienced/witnessed some of the worst behaviour and mindless cruelty of my life, which while unpleasant has taught me that I can always stand to be kinder, that humility and a willingless to learn are very important to me, that the truth really is out there and will always out and that I can’t please everyone an shouldn’t try. 

It’s been a journey, but one I would not backtrack. even the stupid shit has changed me. 

3. three songs you were recently obsessed withI already answered this but since my musical obsessions change all the time… I can do it again

Carolina On My Mind – MelanieThe Woman On Your Mind – Logan BrillI Am Not A Poet - Melanie

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up

I'm Still Standing – Elton JohnWhat A Feeling – Irene CaraEye Of The Tiger – Survivor

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

River Flows In You – Yiruma (cause it's really beautiful)Que Sera, Sera – Doris Day (cause Doris Day, duh. And I mean… whatever will be, will be. It's a nice thing to remember)The Way We Were – Barbra Streisand (cause it's the best love song there is)

Omg wait you live where I live!

(This became a post-ep for One Son, pre-ep for Agua Mala)

43. “I swear to god if you touch me…”28. “I love you, you asshole.”

Scully wouldn’t consider herself a violent person by nature.  Sure, she could take down a suspect with force, she could shoot to maim or to kill, if she had to, but she had to be pushed to aggression.  She heeded the advice she’d heard her father dish out to her brothers on several occasions: never start a fight, but go ahead and finish it.

But, there was so much anger in her lately.  So much.  Most of it because of Mulder.  She was tense most of the time.  So tense.  Sooner or later something was going to give.  She was going to be pushed too far and she would snap.  Every day, at least once a day, she had the overwhelming urge to smack the hell out of Mulder, or shove him into a wall, or shoot him again, only aim a little lower this time, because he just didn’t get it.  

Even she didn’t get it, and that was probably the real problem.  She thought she was merely frustrated with him professionally.  At least, that’s how it started.  She told herself it had nothing, nothing to do with the fact that Diana was his ex...ex-whatever.  Partner, lover, fuck-buddy, she didn’t care.  Except, dammit, she did care.  She cared very much.

In her worst fits of anger, she fantasized about walking up to Mulder, slapping the smug grin that seemed to be permanently affixed to his face, and screaming “I love you, you asshole,” at him.

And then there were the days, when he would look at her with those puppy dog eyes, that pouty-lipped smile, speak to her in that mumbly whisper as he stood too close and she longed to just grab him by the lapels of his suit jacket, pull him against her and groan “I love you, you asshole,” into his mouth before she kissed him.

The problem was, she never knew what kind of day she was going to have.  Was he going to piss her off?  Or was he going to be endearing?  Or would it be both?  Something had to give.

“Hey Scully,” Mulder said, greeting her with a smile when she came into the office.  Endearing.

“Good morning,” she answered.

“I got an email from Diana this morning.”  And it all turned on a dime.

“I have no interest in what Agent Fowley has to say,” she snapped.  She turned her back to him and stood at her table waiting for her laptop to boot up.

Mulder’s chair squeaked as he got up.  Her shoulders tensed and her jaw clenched.  He came around the desk and she didn’t move, but she could feel him come closer, right up behind her.  She could smell his cologne.  She could feel his heat and his breath fluffed the back of her hair.  

“I swear to god if you touch me…” she whispered.  She meant to be harsh about it, to say it as a warning, but it sounded more like a plea.

His hands came down on her shoulders and he pulled her back to his chest.  Her head fell forward and her eyes slipped shut.

“Agent Spender was removed from the hospital early this morning,” he said.  “The on-duty in the ICU was presented with transfer orders that were falsified.  They don’t know where he is.”

“Are we opening an investigation?”

“Missing Persons will handle it.”  Mulder pressed his face into the back of Scully’s head.  “I don’t want to fight with you, Scully.  Not when we’ve just gotten the x-files back.  Not after everything we’ve been through.”

“I don’t want to fight with you either, Mulder.”

Mulder crossed his arms over Scully’s chest and gave her a squeeze.  She brought her hands up to rest on his forearms and they stayed still for an extended period of time and just breathed.  Finally, she took her hands off his arms and he slowly uncrossed them from her chest.  

His chair squeaked when he sat back down and she tapped out her computer password with a single index finger, still standing.

“Any interest in heading down to Florida?” Mulder asked.

“Isn’t there a hurricane rolling through this week?”

“And a sea monster, apparently.”

Scully sat down and pushed her hair back over her ear as she turned to Mulder.  His eyes seemed to sparkle sightly and he gave her a pouty-lipped smile. He twirled a pen in one hand as he leaned back in his chair.

“Tell me about this alleged sea monster,” she said.

He knows all too well that not being ready to talk about something doesn’t mean your brain will shut up and play along.