Scared for the future, as always.
It's been my problem for about two years now, and it's rapidly approaching my biggest problem in life:
What the hell am I going to do after college?
Really, it's starting to look more and more like I squandered my college years. I didn't go to many parties (not that type of guy to do it every week). My learning, while concentrated on programming languages, was basically everywhere. I have loose, functional knowledge of HTML, CSS, SQL, and I'm trying to not only learn Python, but get my stuff up to gruff in SQL.
But I just can't compete in a field that doesn't seem to have any place where I can cut my teeth.
I am currently typing from my menial, 20-ish-hour-a-week (at best) job. I enter tape data. That's it. Lotsa down time.
But I'm terrified. There's no way I'll be able to get a job immediately after graduation, at least in my field (I could always go back to security). And, I'm afraid, by the time I work my skills up enough to compete in the field, I'm going to be overrun by people who are much, much better than me.
My goal for after college is to design a database based around Hearthstone, that free-to-play Blizzard card game. I feel that, the data in the database doesn't matter as much, it's the code that created it.
But I still have a nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm wrong.
And I want to be a good boyfriend, or whatever, to my girlfriend. I want to buy her nice things. Make sure she's taken care of. But I can't on my current path.
She's kind of used to having to work hard for very little constantly, I just want to make it so that she doesn't have to worry about this stuff as much as she does now. The dream is, obviously, ever again.
But at my current rate, I'm screwed.
She says she'll always stand by me, but I want to give her a reason to do so.