#data.vent

I think i rant about it a lot around my friends but it’s like actually genuinely god awful. Especially when your source character is the problematic one. You’re telling me my brain decided “yeah sure let’s split specifically this guy to deal with trauma” ???

I think it’s something that’s been stuck in my head recently cause i think I was hanging around Pony Town (i know i know, listen it’s fun i like interacting with people) and I think I was using the name from my source or whatever. People put two and two together and started harassing me over it like, saying shit about how “why did your brain decide to split a bad person, that makes you in general a bad person!” Even though my memories don’t reflect any of that and is, you know as most psuedomemories are, a reflection of our trauma. Maybe it’s something hard for people to grasp?? The fandom for it kinda has a hard time parsing out things that aren’t just black and white facts so.

It’s hard to not doubt myself and how I am sometimes because I want to be my own person but a lot of people who’ve been in my life were never able to accept that, and it kind of reflected on me so now sometimes I get stuck in a mindset of just feeling… awful about myself.

I’m glad that recently there’s been a complete rewrite about said source, so it’s not like. Super terrible, anymore.