Boney McClyde does the last of the autumn chores, even though he'd rather rest
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Boney McClyde does the last of the autumn chores, even though he'd rather rest

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This can be a huge source of medical trauma and it's so cruel that it's being imposed on people by the medical establishment itself. How can they help but feel anything but helpless? There's no fighting that.
I can't help but think of this from my own perspective as a fibromyalgia patient who keeps having to fight being thought of as (or even being labeled as) drug-seeking.
I am literally just trying to live life closer to the standard that 'normal' people have every day.
Why is it in any way fair that most people are mostly pain-free and capable of doing the things they want to do, but I have to suffer with pain on a daily basis that is at minimum, on a very rare, very good day, at level 5?
Why is it when I report that my pain level is at level 7, 8, 9, I only get doctors side-eyeing me and explaining my OTC options?
I have had chronic pain since I was 8. I'm very fucking aware of my OTC options, so no thank you, doc.
And when I spend 20 minutes explaining in detail that my daily pain has noticeably increased and changed in quality since around January 1st, why should I have my PCP giggle at me every time I say that I need help with managing my pain and learning ways to deal with it?
It felt incredibly invalidating and I wish he would have said, look, I don't have the expertise to help you, so here's a referral to a pain specialist.
I only found out there was a such thing by trying to research the topic after this on my own!
So yeah, it's not just the insurance companies, it's the doctors, too.
It's almost like having a profit-motivated medical establishment hurts patients.
This is the stupidest fucking banner ad I click it by accident all the time and it leads back to the front page of tumblr
Marti's creepshow schedule
Already watched:
Stranger Things season 1
Signs
β Donnie Darko
β Get Out
Shaun of the Dead
On now: The Stand (1994)
Planned:
β Nope
(β new to me)
I got back on Tuesday from a trip and intended to post that I was back and would resume posting polls to my poll blogs but then I remembered my fibromyalgia is a bitch and I tend to sleep for days after a trip
And then I didn't wake up until 5pm on Thursday

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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does anyone remember an article or perhaps a post here about how if you go places online that you know will trigger you that's a form of self-harm? there's someone in one of my servers who does this all the time and he's once again ranting about someone when it's someone he purposely engaged with knowing communicating with them would make him angry
I know he's noticed I have him blocked but it's not that I don't care about him, it's that it bothers me a lot that he does this
I've never talked about this publicly
Between 2011-2022 I participated in the Red vs Blue fandom here on tumblr. I made a number of friends, particularly via the fanfiction community, and participated in a close-knit Discord server. I also made friends in the Dreamwidth RP community on plurk. I spent that entire time working on my self-confidence and social skills, but despite that and the fact that I was working with a therapist, I didn't catch on to a number of things that drove a wedge between me and those friends when they fully manifested.
I am deliberately not explaining the reasons for these things. I was wrong in all of these categories and the reasons for those things are not relevant to the fact that I messed up.
I didn't understand the back-and-forth via question-asking that's supposed to happen in a friendship. I had the idea that if you choose to share deeply, your friend will share deeply in return if they want to reciprocate that aspect of the friendship. But actually, you're supposed to ask them questions.
I didn't understand that this same attempt to be close friends with someone by sharing deeply comes across as trauma-dumping and trying to use them as a therapist. Asking questions also is supposed to include asking them if they're up to listening.
The inciting incident to them blocking me had to do with me not recognizing I was struggling with paranoia symptoms from my bipolar. I should have realized this was what was going on and contacted my therapist.
I know no one is obligated to forgive me or even acknowledge this just because I posted it but I just want everyone to know I've been working toward being/doing better and I'm sorry. I'm just sorry.
βββ Marti, a.k.a. texelations
Time to hand out candy
How do you like my costume?