Warnings: break-in, crime, criminals, weapons (swords and guns), threats, shoulder-dislocation, snapping bones back into place, little bit of sexism, JJ being a perv, etc..
After killing Francis and extracting his revenge, JJ felt empty - like he had no purpose anymore. Until, he heard of the most skilled thief in the world, who just so happened to live in his town: New York City.
He'd heard rumours that this particular thief was able to break into anywhere and steal everything, leaving nothing behind. No alarms could catch this thief, no security could stop them. No one could decipher how this thief had never been caught, or how they would even be able to capture them.
This thief wasn't playing around..
Which is what led JJ into the employment of one of the richest man in the city - Clifford Archibald. Clifford had hired JJ to guard his safe, while he attended a gala: after hearing about the 'merc with a mouth', who had never failed at his job.
Clifford had told JJ he was especially worried about a break-in tonight, after a bad dream he had had the night before. Obviously, JJ thought the man was bat-shit crazy, but took the job anyways after the seeing how much the old man was offering: aka, a very generous amount of money.
He'd been given 1 rule -> Shoot anyone that steps foot anywhere near the vault.
And so, later that night, JJ arrived and stood at the entrance to the man's vault, in the master bedroom, hidden in the walk-in closet. "Poor sucker," JJ smirked, looking around the closet at all the pairs of watches and Clifford's wife's jewellery. "It's like he's asking to be robbed."
After playing a few rounds of dress-up and exploring the mansion, which he'd practically been given free-reign of, he sat down in front of the vault, spinning his prized gun's barrel and pretending to shoot.
If it wasn't clear, JJ was bored out of his mind.
That was, until about 4AM, when he heard a noise in the master bedroom's ensuite bathroom. He stood up, careful not to make any noise and potentially alert whoever was in the bathroom. He slowly made his way, across the bedroom, to the bathroom and switched on the light, his gun pointed into the room.
"Freeze, motherfucker!" He said, into an empty bathroom. He looked around, stepping inside. No one was in there, not in the shower, not in the bath - or behind it.
He lowered the gun, beginning to wonder if his mind was just playing tricks on him, when all of a sudden, the bathroom door slammed shut behind him!
He spun around, "What the fuck?!" He exclaimed, banging on the door. He tried the handle, onto to find the door locked and blocked my something on the outside. "Hey! You're gonna pay for that!" He yelled, banging on the door.
JJ took a few steps back and ran into the door with his shoulder. "Fuck!" He yelled, when no damage was done to the door - unlike his shoulder, which had dislocated itself. He growled in pain and snapped it back into place - just like his anger, which had also snapped with it.
He pulled out his gun and shot the door handle, breaking the lock. His foot then connected with the door, making it fly off its hinges and fall down. The chair that was blocking it, was also thrown back.
He ran from the bathroom, through the bedroom and into the walk-in closet, where the vault was kept. That's when he saw you, loading some bags, full of the cash and gold that was inside the safe.
He had no idea how you'd cracked the safe open, but right now that wasn't his priority. "Hey!" He grabbed you and threw you against the wall, only to press you harder against it, as his hand landed next to your head and his gun pressed into your waist.
That's when he finally got a good look at the thief that had managed to steal and break into the most impenetrable of banks and houses. He was surprised that it was a woman behind all the incredible and impossible break-ins, but he kept that as a thought in his head.
He looked you up and down, watching how your figure was perfectly squeezed into the black, latex catsuit you were wearing, as well as the boots he assumed were apart of it. He saw every little curve and shape of your body, and his eyes particularly locked onto your deep cleavage, which was surrounded by white fluffy fur - a gentle contrast between something so sweet and something so dangerous.
After basically tearing his eyes from your cleavage, he looked up and met your eyes - staring into his (through the mask) - with anger and a hint of curiosity. He noticed the little black mask, covering the top half of your face, leaving your bottom half clear to see, like for example, the dark lipstick you wore, capturing JJ's gaze.
"Alright, pervert, you caught me." Your voice called him back to reality. "Well fucking done. Now, let me go."
"Not so fast, kitty cat." JJ smirked beneath his mask, as his hand moved to grip your arm. "Care to explain why you're stealing from a poor defenceless old man?"
"Clearly he's not defenceless. You're here, aren't you?" You retorted, looking him up and down with a calculating gaze. "Why are you here anyways? Didn't realise Deadpool did security jobs now."
His eyes narrowed, watching as you glared up at him. He knew what you were trying to do - you were trying to annoy him, only to catch him off guard later. But he wasn't falling for it. However, that didn't mean he wasn't gonna play along with you.
"I'm not just a killer, kitty."
"No? Then why'd you bring your weapons? Most security guards only have a gun."
"You'd know wouldn't you? Speaking of, where's our friend Clifford on the list of rich people to rob?"
"Number 12? I think. It's so hard to keep track."
"Yeah, I'll bet. You're really making a name for yourself, Black Cat."
"What do you care? You're just some mercenary."
"A mercenary who was told to kill you."
This made you stop for a moment. You'd never been caught before, not like this. Sure, you'd been seen and once captured, but you'd managed to flirt your way out of it. But this time? You weren't so sure. However, you weren't going without a fight.
"Kill me? You won't." You smirk, playing confident, despite the worry and dread you were feeling in your stomach.
"Oh? Won't I?"
"No, you won't. You know why? Because you want me.. and I.. want you."
Your hands slowly begin to map his chest, feeling every little muscle and scar, hidden beneath his suit. You heard his heartbeat slowly speed up, as your claws trailed over his abs.
"Easy, kitty cat." He warned, but there was no hint of anger, or, hell, there was no warning in his tone.
"Oh, come on. Don't lie to yourself, Red. I mean, just imagine it. Black Cat and Deadpool.. no one would mess with us."
He didn't want too, but hell, he thought about it - he imagined it - and honestly? He liked what he saw..
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