#daryl dixonxreader

By some miracle everyone made it over the fence. And suddenly Carol was there, and Tyreese and Judith too, and it all felt too good to be true. Daryl felt like he was in some crazy dream. He half expected to jolt awake in some old warehouse with the claimers again. He likely wouldn’t admit this to anyone, but he even gave himself a hard pinch on the arm just to make sure it all was real. For once in his life, Daryl Dixon had actually had some good luck. His group had nowhere to go, and no real sense of direction, but their little family was back together again, and that was all Daryl needed to feel at home. He was never really a “four walls and a roof” kind of guy anyway.

When they finally set up camp for the night, Daryl volunteered to take first watch. He placed himself on a large stump where he watched everyone begin to settle in for the night and Y/N came to sit beside him. For a moment he could almost imagine he was back in the guard tower, as she settled down beside him and her side pressed up against his, except for that haunted, empty look on her face.

“Missed coming to see you on watch.” She said after a small sigh. She ran her fingers through her hair and rubbed her face for a moment. “Missed knowing you were there on watch at all,” she said, much quieter, face still in her hands. Daryl grunted, hoping it would convey everything he couldn’t find the words to say. I’m sorry I wasn’t there and I missed ya too and I’m here to watch yer back now and maybe even I care about ya so damn much, I damn near lost it when I thought I lost you. He wasn’t sure if any of it came through.

“Grabbed somethin’ for ya on the way out.” His voice broke the few moments of stillness and silence. He pulled the necklace out of his pocket and looked down at it in his hands for a moment. There was a small speck of dried blood on the pendant that he carefully wiped off before handing her the chain. He heard her breath catch in her throat and looked over to find tears in her eyes. The necklace was enclosed in her hands as she pressed it to her lips. She took a shaky breath and looked over at Daryl, eyes watery and red-rimmed. She held her hands out towards him, “Could you?” She asked quietly. His eyes moved from her face down to her hands, then back to her face. He nodded, and took the necklace back as she turned her back to him.

He reached up and gently pushed her hair to one side, he felt her inhale sharply as his fingers brushed the back of her neck. “Sorry” she spoke quietly as she quickly pulled her hair out of the way. Daryl quickly clasped the necklace, trying not to notice the goosebumps running over her soft skin, or the way she felt cool to the touch.

She reached up and held the pendant against her chest in a clenched fist, her eyes closed as she seemed to savor the feeling of the chain around her neck once again. Daryl shifted a bit uncomfortably. She opened her eyes and Daryl found them once again on the verge of overflowing. “Thank you Daryl. This-” her mouth hung open but no sound came out for a long moment. He gave her time. As she met his eyes she seemed to find her words again. “This means everything” She leaned in and planted a gentle, lingering kiss on his cheek and then wrapped her arms around him for a quick moment. When she pulled back her eyes were red and puffy and full of an aching, empty sadness that Daryl knew all too well, but the corners of her mouth were upturned ever so slightly. Daryl would have given anything, done anything to see that full smile again.

With a gentle touch on the arm and about a million more whispered “thank you”s, she returned to her spot on the ground and the rest of the group settled down quickly, exhausted by their long day. Daryl surveyed his sleeping family and felt, for even just the briefest of moments, like maybe everything was going to be ok again.

Their group was tough. They always had been, if they hadn’t they never would have made it this far. That’s why they were all so shocked when they found that priest in the woods, talking about “the lord being all the protection he needed” or something like that. Personally, to Daryl that sounded like a one way ticket to meeting the big guy himself, if he’s even still up there. Daryl wasn’t so sure on any of that to begin with anyway. Even though they decided to stay in the church for the night, something didn’t sit right with Daryl. His hands twitched as he felt that familiar gut instinct to make himself scarce. He was outside dealing with Carol’s anxieties too when he saw that car with the same goddamn cross from when he lost Beth.

The decision took Daryl exactly five seconds. He looked at Carol. She didn’t trust the creepy father anyway and her face was set. She was in. He took a deep breath and looked at his own hands. He lost Beth, failed her. He didn’t protect her when he promised he would. He now had a chance to make good on that promise. Finally, he looked back towards the church. Maggie deserved to see her sister again, after all she’d lost. And Y/N. Beth was the only person who had ever rivaled her in optimism. She had taken Maggie and Beth in like her sisters. If there was any possibility, however slim, that bringing Beth back could light up her face the way it used to, then he would run after that car until the soles of his shoes wore out and then keep on going barefoot. All of those thoughts ran through Daryl’s head in the short span of a few glances, and in an instant, they were following at a safe distance, headlights out.

And they had actually found Beth. He had gotten Carol into a mess herself, but he had found her. And he was within mere moments of getting her back when the gunshot rang out. He could practically feel her arms wrapping around him, see that sweet smile and that inquisitive look when it all came crashing down. She was ripped away from him, he felt the part of her that she had managed to root in Daryl during their time together be torn violently from his chest. He had tried to prepare himself for the worst but nothing could have prepared him for the sheer agony that was no one’s fault but his own. Beth had fused herself to him, embedded her spirit in his veins, in the very blood that fueled his heart, into his muscles and organs, his very cells. When she hit the ground it was all ripped out in reluctant, clinging sinews.

Y/N had come with them, intent on helping bring back her friend. Daryl had to keep his eyes glued to Beth, her pretty golden hair matted with blood, a chunk of her skull and brain gone, her lifeless corpse now on the ground after a final moment of strength and defiance. Daryl felt a part of himself shatter as he watched. And yet, he knew he could only watch Beth, because if he turned around and saw the parts of Y/N that he had just destroyed he would never be whole again. No matter how much was ripped violently from him as he watched Beth, he knew it would be a paper cut compared to seeing the devastation he caused Y/N.

So instead he stepped forward and raised the barrel of his gun to that woman’s head and put a bullet between her goddamn eyes. It didn’t make him feel any better but at least it ended it. He might have kept shooting if he hadn’t felt a hand on his shoulder. She didn’t need to speak, and he didn’t need to even look at her, but at Y/N’s distinctive touch Daryl lowered his head and his weapon. He steeled himself and tried to maintain his composure, but with the gun Y/N also pulled away his rage and anger that had been keeping him together. As he looked down at what used to be Beth, the warmth of Y/N’s touch receded and the cold, unbridled tears began to fall.

He allowed himself a few moments before he picked Beth up in his arms, wondering why she seemed like she was smaller now than he remembered her being at the cemetery. He whispered in her ear, hoping that it would reach her somehow “I’m so sorry girl. I screwed up. I’m sorry.” He planted a soft kiss on her hair, and if he focused on just that one section right in front of his eyes, that small bit of unmarred, unbloodied blonde, he could almost imagine everything was normal, that he was just carrying her again because of her messed up ankle and not because he let some pig put a goddamn hole through her head.

And finally, after all that, his cheeks streaked and stained with tears and blood, and sweet, gentle Beth now lifeless in his arms, he had to turn around. He knew what was waiting behind him but he never could have prepared himself for what he was going to see. Y/N stood there, a violent splatter of her friend’s blood streaked across her shirt and face. She still held Daryl’s gun in her left hand, her right was balled into a fist at her side. Her eyes were wildly jumping around, focusing on Daryl, on Beth in Daryl’s arms, on the dead woman on the ground. He expected a look of horror, he had tried to prepare himself to see the woman he cared about most in the world fall apart in front of him, for that last shred of optimism and light to get ripped from his chest like everything else as he killed the last light he had. But besides the wide, slightly crazed look in her eyes, she looked almost calm. Her brow was furrowed, and her face seemed completely set. He could see the tension in her jaw from where he stood and he knew she was anything but calm, yet her eyes were clear, and she didn’t let her face betray her and indicate her emotions. Her eyes came to a rest on Daryl’s and she held his gaze for a brief moment before turning abruptly and stalking out of the building.

Daryl carried Beth the rest of the way outside and to the group. He tried so hard to hold back his tears, which he had worked to slowly gain control of as he walked through the building, because he knew the hell Maggie had to be going through. He didn’t want to make it worse with the sight of him blubbering like some baby and feeling sorry for himself. When he finally set her down to let the rest of the group take care of her he slid off to the other side of some cars and let out a violent sob. His whole body shook as he cursed whatever semblance of a god could possibly still be out there somewhere. Beth was one of the best of them. She didn’t deserve this. It still didn’t feel real, even as Daryl gingerly began to wipe her blood off of his hands. Even after feeling the weight of her completely limp body in his arms, Daryl still couldn’t comprehend that she was gone. The Georgian heat suddenly felt all consuming and Daryl felt like he was suffocating. As he placed his head in his hands he heard a quiet “hey” from above him. Y/N stood over him, no discernable emotion apparent in her features. Her face looked set, as if she was determined to maintain a neutral facade no matter what. That cold neutrality was becoming an increasingly and unsettlingly familiar look on her.

“Head up Dixon, we can’t afford to have you down like this.” It was all logic, no comfort. She held a hand out to him, which he took reluctantly. Her grip was tight and before he could prepare himself or start to push himself up he was yanked forcibly off the ground. In a split second he went from being face to face with the tips of her boots to staring into her eyes, their hands still tightly grasped between their chests. She moved to pull away but he held tight, searching her face for something, anything. He was all too aware of his wet cheeks, the puffiness around his eyes obscuring his vision, and yet he didn’t care. He was too busy looking for any of it on her.

Her eyes darted to his cheeks, and he could see her brow furrow and her lip quiver for just a moment, and he finally let go of her hand. He sighed and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened immediately, and for a moment Daryl wondered if this is what it had felt like to hug him for so long. “Dixon, I’m fine. This is just part of-” she began to speak and it seemed like she was trying to squirm away.

“Shut up woman. Ain’t for you,” He said into the crook of her neck, where he had buried his face. He felt her relax a bit and wrap her arms around him the way she used to. For a single moment, as she reached up and rubbed circles on his back, Daryl could almost imagine that things had never changed, and that when he pulled away he would see a blinding light looking back at him and he would feel a warmth in his chest that almost felt like hope.

Instead a ghost met his eyes as they separated. Her eyes looked more sunken in than he remembered, and if he looked closely he was sure he could see the shine of tears forming. She reached up, patted him on the shoulder, gave him a quiet “take care now Dixon,” and a brief kiss on the cheek before she turned to head back to the group.

And just like that they were on the run again. Always moving, never settling, never enough resources for everyone. Daryl had taken to passing Y/N his food after taking a bite or two, and pretending that he didn’t notice when she gave all of it to Carl or anyone else who looked like they could use an extra portion. Although if he was being honest, that was pretty much everyone these days. At least this time they were heading somewhere, they had a goal in mind, they weren’t just chasing their tails trying not to get caught in the middle of a herd.

The group was moving slowly, a small group of walkers had begun to form behind them. They weren’t fast enough to be much of a threat, but no one was strong enough to handle them at the present moment. Y/N began throwing anxious glances over her shoulder every minute or so. Daryl could see the gears working in her brain, she was taking stock of the number of walkers, their group’s numbers and weapons, the terrain, everything that could impact the fight. He tried to remember if she had been this calculated and strategic, if he had ever known this version of her before. He pushed his pace a bit and fell into stride beside her. He held out his water bottle. “Water?” he asked. She stared at the bottle for a moment before slowly accepting. She took a small sip and handed it back with yet another glance over her shoulder. “Thanks” She said, but she was scowling. Daryl looked back and saw that the number of walkers had increased yet again.

“Nothin’ we can do about ‘em now” he said. She just shrugged.

“We can’t let our guard down. We’ve gotta take care of them before nightfall and I’m not risking this getting out of control with no backup plan if we don’t find a way to do that.”

“Gonna break yer neck whippin’ yer head back and forth like that” He said with a small shake of his head, hoping maybe that would draw even a small laugh out of her, but instead he was met with cold, determined silence. He followed her lead and set his eyes forward, and they walked along like that for a while, neither speaking, Y/N still checking behind her every minute.

Finally they reached a small bridge and Rick declared that they could make a stand here. Daryl looked over and saw a satisfied smirk on Y/N’s face. She didn’t show teeth and any joy she seemed to be feeling didn’t reach her eyes. Daryl felt a chill run through him as she reached down and pulled a knife from her belt. She had picked it up sometime after the prison fell and never went anywhere without it now. It was a long, cruel, menacing, military blade that glinted in the sun as she reflexively twirled it around her fingers once before setting her grip. She joked once that she had named it Vlad, after Vlad the impaler, and the self-satisfied smirk that painted her lips when Daryl let out a surprised chuckle was one of the closest things to a genuine smile he’d seen on her in a long time.

“Shouldn’t need that unless things go south” Rick said, much to Daryl’s relief. “We stay in formation, draw them to the side of the bridge, get ‘em off balance, and let ‘em fall.” Rick spoke with easy confidence and Y/N sheathed her knife with a disappointed, yet still respectful nod of understanding.

Everything was going according to plan when Sasha stepped forward and broke formation. They had only gotten through less than half of the herd when everyone had to pull out their weapons and fight. Daryl watched from further back with his bow, dropping the walkers he could, but the fighting was making it difficult to get a clean shot. Plus he kept getting distracted watching Y/N. There was a coldness and a level of skill to the way she moved that hadn’t been there at the prison. This was not the same woman who used to clumsily spar with him, throwing weak punches and tripping over her own feet. She could always take care of herself well enough, especially against walkers, but this ferocity was different from anything he’s ever seen her express. Daryl had to tear his eyes away from her and rush into the fight when he saw a walker approaching Rick from behind.

After Daryl dealt with the Walker that damn near cost Rick an arm, the fight ended quickly. Michonne looked like she wanted to wring Sasha’s neck and everyone looked fully drained. Y/N was standing in the middle of a pile of corpses, rotting blood matted down her hair and covered her clothes. Her eyes were glassy and blank, darting around and focusing on nothing in particular as she breathed heavily. Daryl walked over and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she jerked in response. Her hand with the knife came up for half a second before her eyes centered on Daryl, who stood unflinching as she exhaled heavily. That feral look in her eyes melted away and the grimace of a smile she had been wearing drained from her face. He thought he almost caught a hint of shame in her eyes before she wiped her knife down on her shirt and sheathed it, lowering her gaze. Daryl let out a sort of questioning grunt, a wordless are you ok? Do you want to talk about any of that? But she dismissed him with a shake of her head, eyes unmoving from the pile of fresh corpses on the road. A whistle sounded from the front of the group and Daryl watched her eyes mechanically focus forward as she fell back into step with everyone else.

The days had all begun to blur together, the group moving, resting, hiding, running, aching, moving again. Honestly no matter how much of the other stuff they did, it felt like they were always just moving. Daryl looked around at the gaunt and fatigued faces of his family all around him and felt once again that feeling of utter and complete failure creeping in. He was so lost in his thoughts of how he was going to make it up to everyone that he almost didn’t notice the jugs and bottles of water tagged with a little note in the middle of the road. He eyed the offering suspiciously. As much as he wanted so badly to just believe that whoever left this really was a friend, after everything they’d been through it was much easier to believe this was a trap, or an attack, or a million other things that would get them all killed.

He hadn’t really been paying attention to the conversation when he heard Y/N speak up. He wasn’t sure exactly who or what she was responding to as she spoke, but her words made his skin crawl. “Goddammit let’s just keep fucking moving. There aren’t ‘good people’ anymore. There are no ‘friends’ ok? We are all we have. Everyone else will try to destroy that.” She shook her head, narrowed her eyes at a shaking Eugene, and turned to keep walking when the rain began to fall from the sky.

Daryl had never seen the air between everyone shift so suddenly, and he’d never seen relief like the looks of shock and excitement on his family’s faces. Everyone was staring up at the sky, some laughing, some crying, even Y/N’s lips had parted in amused shock as her eyes lifted to the sky. It was the happiest he’d seen her since he’d found her again.

Turns out the water really was from a “friend” or at least someone who wanted to help. That Aaron guy seemed pretty alright as far as Daryl could tell. He brought them back to his community, Alexandria, and the tension Daryl had been carrying for months was about to slip away when he looked over and saw Y/N’s eyes scanning the walls, brow quirked and skeptical. She was chewing on her lip. When had she picked that habit up? Daryl tried to remember if she’d always done that. Seemed that these days it was getting harder and harder to remember who she was back at the prison.

They complied with the gun policy, did the required interviews, and were led to their houses. The choice to all stay in one house for the night was simple and unanimous. People were still on edge, Daryl could feel it, but behind walls, in a house with electricity and running water, he could sense the tension slowly draining, the exhaustion of months of running finally taking its toll. He looked around the house for Y/N, but she was nowhere to be found until he spotted her through the window.

The cool night air drove out the stifling humidity of the day as the wood of the porch railing jutted into her skin where she balanced there, staring into the night. “That can’t be comfortable” Daryl called from behind her but she just shrugged, not even turning to look at him. He took a few steps forward and just waited. Easy silence hung between them for a long stretch of time. Eventually she turned her head and caught his eye.

“What’s going on, Dixon?” She raised an eyebrow and turned back to face the street again.

“Jus’ wanted ta let ya know the shower’s open in ya wan it. Everyone else’s gone.” She let out a suffocated laugh.

“I can smell from here that that’s just not true.” A half chuckle, hald grunt came from behind her and her lips curled upwards.

“Take a shower, woman. No one’s gonna slip by all us while yer off guard” She simply shrugged. He took a few steps forward and sat beside her on the railing. He felt their bodies pushed up against each other shoulder to shoulder and the warmth felt like home. A half-hearted laugh fell from her lips as her narrowed eyes scanned the homey little street.

“Not quite the view from the guard tower but it’ll do.” She spoke softly. He grunted affirmatively and when she leaned her head on his shoulder suddenly it did feel like the prison guard tower sat right there on the ground in that little Virginian town.

Against him she shuddered as a breeze ran through them. “Gonna go warm up?” He watched her closely from the side of his eye. She sighed.

“A shower does sound nice.” She relented and lifted her head, scanning the area one last time before looking over at him. “Show me where it is?” He gave an affirming nod and grunt in response before getting up and holding the door open for her. He showed her to the bathroom and then headed off to check on the rest of the group.

After checking on Carl and Judith, taking another look around the house for exits, weak points, and hiding spots, and checking in with Rick, he was on his way back downstairs when he heard her voice coming from the bathroom. It drew him in and instinctively he leaned closer to the door to hear more. It took a few moments but he realized she was singing. Her voice was clear and bright, exactly like he would have imagined it. Just as she had at one point, it seemed to float effortlessly above everything else, gentle and sweet amongst the darkness they lived in. He wasn’t entirely familiar with the tune, but with another step closer he began to make out some words

“If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song.”

He chose not to listen past that point, and instead hurried down the stairs and out the front door to take watch on the porch again. He sat there for a while, staring out into the night, manually forcing his lungs to open and close.

He heard her first, he could spot her mostly even but slightly hesitant gait anywhere. Ever since she had picked up that blade her right leg dragged just the slightest bit because of the weight, he could hear it now in just the few steps she took. So she was clean but still armed, he figured. He’d take his wins where he could get them.

Light steps led straight to him and the gentle hand on his shoulder confirmed the identity he already knew. He turned to look at her and his breath caught in his throat for a millisecond. She wore clean clothes, like he had guessed, her knife was still strapped to her thigh, and her hair hung, wet, messily framing her face. Her features were suddenly so strong when not obscured by a layer of grime and dirt. Her eyes were soft in a way that he hadn’t seen in who knows how long, and he slowly realized that after all this time he had begun to forget what she really looked like.

“You ok?” Her voice held a gentleness he had firmly believed to be dead prior to this moment. He nodded and she settled down beside him again.

“Are you gonna shower at some point? It actually was nice.” She offered and he grunted with a shrug. “Feels good to be clean,” she observed but was met with more silence. “I’m worried about feeling too good too fast though. About letting our guard down before we know it’s safe.” He nodded.

“I know whatcha mean, I’m worried about that too. Feels like this place might be alright though,” Her eyes widened in shock as he spoke.

“You’re the last person I would’ve expected to hear that from, Dixon.” He shook his head.

“Well, yer the first one I’d’ve expected it from. But look at us now.” he bit back unintentionally. They sat in the silence and he sighed. “Don’t know. Maybe ‘s jus’ wishful thinkin’, but feels like the people here are jus’ stupid, not dangerous.” She sighed in response and a small silence separated them. He could feel her thinking it over, could practically hear her mind running at a million miles per hour through the possibilities. For once, he was the one to break the silence.

“Haven’t gotten the chance to sit down and talk like this, jus’ the two of us, for real, since...” He paused, sadness spreading with the realization “not since the prison.”

He could see the tears in her eyes. “Never even got a real chance to catch up, did we? On all that we missed?” That drew a sad sort of chuckle from deep in his chest, more an attempt to fill the space than an expression of emotion. “You first?” she offered and grunted affirmatively.

He gave her a brief overview of his time alone with Beth, losing her, that much she’d heard bits and pieces of. Then he got to the claimers. He tried to keep details of that to a minimum, didn’t like thinking about them longer than he needed to. Then finding Rick, following the tracks, and getting back to everyone. She listened attentively, and rested a warm hand on his arm when he finished.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, and I’m so glad you made it back to us” Her words felt genuine and held kindness reminiscent of a person she used to be. Despite the overflow of tears in her eyes he could detect some happiness present in her voice.

“Alright, I’ve said more ‘n enough, yer turn” a sorry attempt to deflect away from the level of emotion he’d caused, but she wiped her tears and nodded nonetheless.

“Honestly, it sucked” a defeated laugh escaped with the words before she steadied herself and continued. “I was with a few people at first. Three guys from Woodbury I think. No one I was really close to, but they were all I had left. I wanted to stay and look for everyone, but at that point they figured we should just cut our losses and move on. I was outvoted. So we moved, bottom line just tried to keep moving and stay alive. We did ok for a bit. Moved between grocery stores, gas stations, that kind of stuff. One day we took a pretty long trip, the town we had been in for a while was plucked dry. We drove some of the way but gas was scarce so we ended up having to walk. Ran into a small group of walkers but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle. Except...” her voice broke and Daryl could see the tears falling freely. “Except when we had taken care of the walkers next thing I knew there was a knife at my throat. Didn’t even have time to react, these men killed the guys I was with, all at once. And I was alone” She swallowed before continuing. “So they had me there, I can still feel the knife against my throat. And I realize if they just wanted us dead, I wouldn’t still be standing. And it all...” she rubbed her shaking hands on her pants and let out a shallow exhale. “It all clicked... what they wanted with me” her voice completely failed by that last word and Daryl reached out and took her hand. His blood was boiling but he used every ounce of self control he had to appear calm for her.  

“Ya don’t have ta go into all this if ya don’t want to,” he was reassuring but she shook her head.

“No, it’s probably better not to keep it all inside.” He nodded and let her take her time before starting again. She took deep breaths and when she finally spoke again her voice had a deliberate and practiced evenness to it. “I wasn’t gonna let them. I was gonna die before I let them do anything to me. I fought. But there were too many of them. Few of them suggested they just kill me, cause it’d be ‘easier’ that way. In that moment I was so sure...” she paused for a long moment and let only the sound of her labored breathing hang between them. “I was so sure I was going to die. They almost had me completely knocked out when someone came in faster than I could keep track of in that state and took them all out. She saved me. I don’t like to think about what would have happened if she hadn’t been there.”

He could see her body shaking and squeezed her hand tighter in his, running his thumb over her knuckles. She gave him an appreciative nod and continued.

“She let me stay with her. She was set up in this apartment over an old record store, it was a weird place but she had it tricked out well enough that it worked. She taught me how to fight, how to stay alive on my own. Kind of like how you used to, except this time I had real, genuine horror keeping me motivated. I owe her everything. She taught me how to be ok on my own, and how to protect myself.. She showed me how important it was to be strong and prepared. One day we went on a run and a herd swept through. We were caught completely off-guard and we were stuck. She gave me her knife and told me to run and not look back, that she could lure enough of them away for me to get out and then she’d loop back to me. I did what she told me, but she never made it to the meeting point.” She choked on a sob and took a heavy inhale. “I waited, Daryl.” His heart ached at the grating of her voice, the audible effect of tears clogging her vocal chords as her knuckles turned white gripping the knife at her side. “But the area was getting swarmed again, if I waited much longer I’d never make it out. So I left.” At this point he wrapped an arm around her and let her head rest on his shoulder.

“She gave me everything she had and more. I could never repay her, not in a million years. And I left her to die. So I kept running, because what else could I do? And that’s when I found the signs for Terminus. I honestly wasn’t even thinking about the group at that point. I had mourned all of you. I thought all of you were gone. I just wanted to stop. ‘Sanctuary for all’ seemed like a pretty good place to go. So I went. And against all odds I actually found everyone. And I’m never going to let anything happen to the people I care about ever again.”

Daryl sighed and wrapped both of his arms around her for a proper hug. “Shit woman, ya really been through hell.” He squeezed a bit tighter as he inhaled her scent. She smelled clean, far too clean to touch, and he instinctively pulled away. “Ya know ya can’t always control that kinda stuff.” He said and let her take his hand again.

“Yeah, but it’s better than doing nothing, or being unprepared like I used to be.” She said with a sigh and he nodded.

“Ya changed a lot. Since the prison.”

“How so?” her eyebrow raised the tiniest bit as she spoke and he was genuinely baffled that she didn’t see what felt like night and day to him.

“Ya used to be this...” he fumbled for a few moments before he found what he needed, “this big ball of light, mos’ optimistic person I’ve ever met. Ya grew up a bit. Let the darkness of everything get to ya. I mean, I-I heard ya singin in th’ shower, and ya got a real pretty voice, I jus’ wish ya wouldn’t sing such a sad song. And I haven’t seen ya smile, I mean really smile, since the prison. Yer still my sunshine, but ya got stuck in some crap weather if ya don’t mind me sayin’.” Her eyes widened as she processed his words, and he let her take her time. He could see the gears turning, she was going through all of it, trying to connect the dots, to prove him wrong somehow. He watched her search her catalog for smiles and her face fall as she came up empty handed. “Ya used ta see the bright side of everythin’, now I’m lucky if ya even smirk. It’s like... like I don’t know how ta keep my head up if I ain’t got ya there ta remind me” He didn’t think, just let the words he’d been holding onto come out but her shocked expression made him wish he’d just kept his trap shut.

“Didn’t realize that was my responsibility.” Her voice faltered. “I’m sorry I let you down.” She trembled slightly as she stood up to walk away but he caught her wrist in an echo of something that felt like a whole lifetime ago, the same gentle question of a grasp.

“Ya didn’t do anythin’ wrong. Ya been through a lot.” his voice was low and earnest. She held eye contact with him for a moment before she pulled herself away and bolted for the door. He watched her go, and as the door closed behind her the air felt much colder than it had a moment ago.

Deanna came around later that night assigning people jobs. Daryl did not receive one. He was a bit shocked, seeing as this version of the world was the only one that he ever really felt useful in, but he tried to push those feelings of inadequacy down. Y/N was assigned to the infirmary, and Daryl couldn’t help but reminisce on all the times she stitched him up, how his body would be littered with deep, gnarly scars by now if not for her delicate and gentle hands. It stung when she refused to talk to him for a few days. Seemed like she wasn’t doing much talking to anyone except for Rick and Maggie at that point. She was still chewing her bottom lip and darting glances towards the exits throughout the day. She eyed the guards on top of the wall suspiciously and never returned the hello’s of Alexandrians passing by. A pit sat heavy in Daryl’s stomach as he watched her remain tight and guarded against all the signs that it could be time to relax. She would come home from the infirmary and settle into her watchful position on the front porch, cleaning her knife and scanning the horizon. Daryl wanted to talk to her but unsurprisingly he found himself lacking the words. Plus she clearly didn’t want to talk to him. She would barely look at him these days.

When Aaron approached Daryl about becoming his partner for recruiting, Daryl couldn’t say yes fast enough. He was getting stir crazy inside the walls with nothing to do, plus he couldn’t really stand to watch Y/N like this anymore. He had tried staying close and being insistent and sharing his feelings and all that got him was iced out. He needed space and open air to just breathe. Within a few days he was packing up to go out on his first run. As he was closing up his bag, he was shocked to see Y/N come storming into the room, her eyes alight with anger.

“So you were just gonna leave? You weren’t planning on telling me you’d taken this job or saying goodbye?” Her breathing was heavy, her face was flushed, he figured she had come running straight from the infirmary and felt some inexplicable pang in his chest.

“Ain’t leavin’ fer good, woman. Just a run.” He kept his tone calm and nonchalant but she wasn’t having it.

“I don’t give a fuck if it’s just a run! You’re going to just leave me here? With these people?” Her voice broke a bit and he could hear genuine fear in it.

“People are fine. A bit clueless, but harmless. And I know ya can take care of yerself.” He began. “Plus ya haven’t seemed to need me much since the first night.” He added, much quieter.

“Dixon I-” she began but the words seemed to catch in her throat. She closed her mouth and thought for a minute, and Daryl gave her the space to do so. “They aren’t all clueless. Some of them are just bad.” She took a shaky breath. “Like...” She seemed to be forcing the words out at this point. “Like Pete. He says all this stuff and tries to grab at me all the time and I think he’s hurting his wife and sons and I don’t know if I can work in the infirmary anymore Daryl. I just can’t be in there with him and I know I’ve been distant, I’m sorry, I just needed space to think, I just can’t be there with him if you’re not here. What am I supposed to do if he does something?” Once she had started, the words came rushing out like air from a balloon and now she stood in front of him, anger all gone, looking deeply deflated.

“Didn’t know that. Don’ really know the guy.” Daryl started, proceeding quietly and with some caution and care. “Ya don’t have ta go there. We can talk ta Deeana, get ya reassigned. And Rick’s gonna be here, ya know you can always go to him.” Daryl reached out and took her hand. She squeezed his hand and then pulled him close and buried her face in his chest. Daryl held her tightly, smoothing down her hair and trying to be as comforting as he could. She let out a deep sigh and he could feel her body expand and contract with the breath.

“I want to help people. I’m good at it. I’ve gotta keep doing it. I just don’t understand why you have to go.”

“It’s my job, ‘s what I’m good at. Same as you, I gotta do it. Gotta earn my keep ‘round here.” He spoke with a sigh. “Won’t be gone more than a few days, promise yer gonna be ok.” He tilted her chin up so she could look at him. “‘N if that bastard tries anything, ya tell me when I get back and Imma cut his fuckin’ hands off.” He spoke with deadly seriousness and was absolutely shocked when she burst out into a genuine giggle. It wasn’t quite the sunbeam smile he’d been longing for, but it still felt like an oasis in the desert.

Hope filled his chest as she whispered a quiet “thank you, you be careful out there and come back safe for me ok?” and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“You got it.” He said and she looked the most relaxed he’d seen her in a long time.

The run was a lot more intense than Daryl had expected, although he welcomed the distraction. It was nice to just think about surviving and finding people, to not have so many complex thoughts and emotions to keep track of. They met Rick’s friend Morgan while in a tough spot and brought him back to Alexandria with them. They made it back just in time to see Rick kill Pete. Daryl could sense the tension and possibly fear in Morgan beside him but he, personally, was grateful. He had spent much of his time outside the walls thinking about the ways he’d kill that bastard himself if he laid a hand on Y/N or anyone else. As Morgan and Rick stared each other down for a long moment, each assessing the person they thought they knew, Daryl scanned the crowd. He found her almost instantly. She was staring at Pete’s body with that cold neutrality that he had come to hate so much. He made his way through the crowd to stand next to her. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Shame Rick beat me to it, had a whole plan to skin the bastard alive,” She broke from her stupor and looked up at Daryl in surprise. After a moment of shock she threw her arms around Daryl’s neck and clung to him tightly. “You’re back” she said, and he allowed a slight warmth of hope to radiate from within him as he thought he could hear a hint of a smile in her voice.

“Couldn’t leave ya here all by yerself fer too long now, could I?” he said and as she pulled back from the hug to look at him his heart damn near stopped. She still had her arms around his neck, like she was afraid that if she let go he might disappear again, and she was smiling at him, it was small, not quite as blinding compared to what Daryl once was accustomed to, but the light in her eyes warmed him to his core. He felt like he could barely breathe or speak so he just pulled her back close to him.

“Missed ya,” He finally said after he caught his breath.

“Missed you too.” She whispered back and there was no mistaking it this time, he could feel the gentle warmth pressed up against his neck.

“Head home?” He asked. She nodded and hesitantly pulled away from him. She took his hand in hers, pressed a kiss to the back of it, and her lip corners drew the slightest bit further upwards as her cheeks flushed ever so slightly. Daryl felt like he was going to pass out. They wandered slowly back to the house, hand in hand, Y/N filling Daryl in on everything he had missed.

People settled into life under Rick’s leadership fairly well. There were some stubborn ones, but that was to be expected. It made Daryl smile to see the tension slowly escape Y/N’s shoulders, her eyes stop darting to the gate, her hand begin to rest on her hips or at her side instead of on her blade. It seemed like everyone was really settling in. Some of their little group had even begun to split off into their own houses, it felt like this really was a place that they could settle down in, that they could defend and make their home. Daryl hadn’t left the original house yet, he left so often that he didn’t pay too much attention to where he stayed when he was back.

Y/N rinsed her hands in the infirmary sink and dried them off before saying a quick goodbye and thank you to Denise. She was having a rough day. Someone came in with a really bad injury, lost a lot of blood, dealing with a potential infection. They had spent the entire day just trying to stabilize him. Once he was sleeping, Denise insisted Y/N head home to shower and get a bit of rest. She begrudgingly obliged and walked home as the sun began to sink below the horizon. She approached the house to find Daryl, perched on the porch railing where she had spent many sleepless nights when they had first arrived, cleaning his knife, crossbow slung over his back. “Daryl!” She ran to hug him but his face dropped as he saw her. In an instant he was off of the porch and into the street, one hand on her cheek, the other gently touching her side where a particularly nasty bloodstain resided.

“Y/N! The hell happened to you? Gotta getcha to th’ infirmary, see Denise.” He began to try to hoist her over his shoulder when she put a hand on his arm and held him back.

“I’m alright Dixon, it isn’t mine, slow your roll.” Y/N had a satisfied smirk on her face as she watched him calm.

“Dammit Woman, ya can’t scare me like that.” He pulled her into a hug that she hesitantly accepted but quickly pulled away from.

“Gonna get blood all over you. Let me shower and then I’ll give you a proper hug?” He grunted affirmatively and she let out a small giggle. “See you in a minute, Dixon. Glad to have you back.” She called over her shoulder as she disappeared through the door, leaving Daryl standing alone in the street. After he shook off the shock and let out a deep breath, he headed into the house as well. He went upstairs to change out of his bloodstained shirt but on his way back he paused by the bathroom. A soft, lilting singing voice carried out from behind the door, one he hadn’t heard since the group’s first night in Alexandria. The voice was the same, but the song was different this time.

“Little darlin’, I feel that ice is slowly meltin’, little darlin’, it seems like years since it’s been clear. Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun and I say it’s alright”

Warmth spread through Daryl’s body from his fingertips as he listened to her sweet, gentle voice. He stayed through the end of the song, forehead resting on the door so he could listen properly. He let her voice wash over him like warm water, his shoulders dropped as the tension drained from his body. After a minute the water shut off and he instinctively jumped back from the door, but couldn’t bring himself to move from that spot, despite his best efforts, so when the door swung open, he found himself face to face with her. She was wrapped in a towel, her cheeks flushed from the heat of the water, her hair still dripping a bit onto her bare shoulders. Daryl felt like his face was inches away from hot coals as he opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words.

“Hi Daryl,” she said, an eyebrow raised skeptically.

“Sounded real nice.” Daryl’s eyes fell to the floor and he shifted his weight back and forth between his feet. “Ya got a real pretty voice, ‘n I like that song lot better than that other one ya sang a while back,” Before she could respond Daryl took off for the door, face turning crimson, heart doing wind sprints in his chest. Had he not been in such a panic, he might have seen the beginnings of lip corners turning upwards and eyes lighting up before he ran off. If he had even raised his eyes from the floor for a moment he might have seen the makings of something he’d been missing for what felt like a lifetime. Instead, he stepped outside and just began to walk, trying to shake the warm, jittery feeling that was pooling in his chest and stomach. He found himself at the base of the wall by the gate, and ended up relieving Abraham of his watch. On top of the wall, with the horizon ahead of him and the open air around him, his lungs finally felt functional again.

He stood up there in comfortable silence watching the sun begin to set, and as soon as normalcy felt like it was returning and his body had calmed, there she was, standing at the edge of the platform, hair still wet, and his heart crawled right back up into his throat. She took a few steps towards him, and he stayed stuck to the spot where he stood.

“You ran off on me there, Dixon.” she said. He grunted.

“Sorry ‘bout that. Didn’ mean ta make ya uncomfortable. Jus’ sounded really pretty ‘s all.” He spoke sheepishly but forced himself to look up and meet her eyes. To his surprise she had a broad grin spread across her face.

“You really liked it?” She asked and took another step closer. She was close enough that he could now see her cheeks tinting a deep rosey color. He nodded.

“Might’ve been th’ most beautiful thing I ever heard.” He admitted. She let out a quick exhale and seemed to take a moment to steady herself.

“Never got to give you that hug,” She stepped right up to him now and wrapped her arms around his middle, he pulled her in close and immediately sighed into the contact. She smelled clean and fresh and when he closed his eyes there was nothing but her. Her smell in his nose, her body pressed against his, the sound of her soft breath against his chest. “Hate it when you leave.” Her words were muffled as she spoke, still buried in his shirt.

“I know, ‘m sorry. Promise I hate leavin’ ya more,” he spoke without thinking and she pulled away slightly to look at him.

“You do?” Her eyes were wide as she looked up. He grunted affirmatively.

“Course I do. Yer the one who said ya were gonna be my best friend, don’t know why ya look so surprised I don’ like leavin’ ya behind.” Her lips parted into a gentle and full smile that sat in his stomach like a shot of whiskey and propelled him forward like true liquid courage as he pressed his lips gently to hers. It only lasted a few seconds before he pulled back and watched her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. Her eyes opened slowly and she reached a hand up and placed it gently on Daryl’s cheek and slowly broke out into a wide, full smile that Daryl hadn’t seen in years. Her eyes sparkled as they seemed to water a bit. Daryl felt like he could cry too, as he felt a warmth that he thought was lost forever. In the light of the setting sun Daryl could have sworn he had never seen anything so beautiful as Y/N beaming in his arms.

“I ever tell ya that you’ve got the most beautiful smile I ever seen?” Daryl whispered, and she just let out a teary laugh.

“Oh you hush Dixon.” She said and kissed him again. It was tender and gentle and a million words passed between them in the silence. Finally he pulled away and lifted her off of her feet and spun her around, relishing in the sounds of her delighted, uncontrolled laughter. He set her back down gently and gave her another quick kiss.

You’d sit on the edge of the guard tower platform, legs dangling beneath you, eyes on the horizon, while he stood a few feet away, elbows resting on the railing, scanning for threats. You’d stoke up the fire as he worked on making his bolts. You’d sit next to him, shoulders centimeters away from brushing as you ate your meals in comfortable and contented silence. When he left on runs you’d attach to other people, but for the most part you would spend the time trying to keep busy and be helpful. He’d come back home to a full wood pile, sticks and feathers for making bolts, his room tidied, and a single wildflower in the beer bottle vase you’d put on his dresser when he’d first moved in and expressed hesitancy to sleep in a cell. Neither of you acknowledged any of it, save for the occasional appreciative grunt and obliging nod you’d exchange. You preferred it that way. You both hardly spoke to begin with and you liked it like that. Words got messy and confusing and could mean a million different things at once. Actions felt clear.

He was leaving for a particularly long run. Something about having cleaned out a lot of places nearby, wanting to go further out. The specifics didn’t bother you, he knew what he was doing. You were more concerned with how to busy yourself for the next few days. You began by sharpening the knives he’d left behind, too dull to consider bringing with him. You cleaned up his little room a few times over, and spent a day gathering plenty of material for his bolts. It felt like you had been moving around non-stop and yet you still felt restless. You were on your fourth or fifth aimless walk around the prison when you ran into Maggie who was on her way to the makeshift school in the library. She convinced you to join and spend some time with all of the kids to take your mind off of everything. You followed happily. “They just make you feel optimistic about the future, don’t they?” She said, staring off into the distance with a haunted smile. You could easily track her gaze to the gate that Glenn had left through a couple of days ago with Daryl and the rest of them.

The kids were doing arts and crafts today. Glenn had found a little jewelry making kit somewhere and brought it back, so everyone was making little necklaces and bracelets for themselves and their loved ones. As you sat down and sifted through the materials, a small pendant caught your eye. It was a little silver arrow in the midst of all the trinkets and charms. Without hesitation you scooped it up, running your fingers over it. You grabbed a few strands of leather cord and began to weave a little braided rope. At what felt like the middle, you slid the pendant onto one of the cords and finished braiding, keeping it in place. After it was all tied off you held it up in front of your face and studied it with a satisfied smile. Later that night, you slipped into his room and placed the little necklace on the pillow of his bed. You left no note, no signifier of who it was from, and stepped back out into the cell block.

When he finally returned, most things were as they usually were, the pile of bolt materials, the neat room, but this time there were three, vibrant blue wildflowers in the vase instead of a single one, and a small necklace laid on his pillow. After a long bit of contemplation, he came bolting out into the courtyard in a wild search. He could see the unmistakable legs dangling over the edge of the guard tower platform and wasted no time rushing up there.

You jolted as he slammed the door open and dangled the pendant in your face from his shaking fist. “Th’ hell is this?” he asked, voice trembling, but not with fear. Your brows furrowed but you didn’t flinch or move away.

“I made it for you, thought you’d like it.” You said, voice steady and even.

“God dammit woman! Whatever ya want with me, why don’t ya just tell me?!” He turned and paced away before coming back again. Your voice came to you still in low tones but it now dripped with intensity.

“What?” you asked, your confusion genuine.

“Come on! Ya know what ‘m talkin’ about!” He said, getting angrier. “I was just stood there fer the last five minutes tryna figure out what kinda game yer playin’!” You just shook your head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m not playing any games.” You responded, but he just shook his head, disbelieving.

“Followin’ me around, cleanin’ ma room, makin’ me this, don’t know if yer tryna make fun of me or laugh at me, or tease me, or tryna get me to feel like I owe you special favors, but ‘m sick a it.” Your brow furrowed somehow even further before abruptly softening as his words truly sunk in.

“Daryl, I do that stuff because I care about you, and you’re my friend. I’d never make fun of you.” You paused for a moment before hesitantly adding “Unless you deserved it.” He stood up straight and sighed, before tossing the pendant into your lap.

“Find someone else to mock.” He spat, before sulking out of the tower, leaving you alone, arrow charm enclosed in a shaking fist. A few days went by and you didn’t see him much. He always turned away when you tried to make eye contact with him or hurried out of any space that you entered. You felt your heart crack a bit more with every encounter.

After almost a week of this agonizing distance, you began to feel like you were going to throw up whenever you saw him. Your heart felt sore and aching and your soul felt heavy. You would rub your thumb over the pendant in your fist and hold back tears as he rushed away from you while avoiding eye contact. You couldn’t take it anymore, but he wouldn’t even let you face him to tell him that. As a last resort, you wrote a quick and simple note, very your style. It read- “D. You’re my best friend. I mean it. I miss you.” You signed your initial and folded the pendant up in the paper. When you knew he was out, you placed the note on his pillow and hurried away, knowing that whatever was going to happen, it was close to done now. All you could do at this point was wait.

You knew he liked to sleep outside, often staying out of his cell whenever possible, so you had no idea when he might find the note. A few days later you as sat on the ledge of the guard tower, you saw him emerge from the cell block in  a rush, his strides hurried and purposeful. You saw him spot you and make a beeline for the tower. As quickly as possible your eyes set on the treeline, as you tried to give the impression that you were just casually on watch, not watching for him. The door flung again in the same startling manner, but he didn’t rush at you this time. You turned to look at him and immediately spotted the arrow pendant hanging from a leather braided cord around his neck, the little piece of paper in his hand. You sat, frozen, unsure of exactly what he was going to say. He closed the distance and held out a hand. You took it and he all too quickly pulled you to your feet, wrapping you in a hug before you could even process what was happening. You sighed against his chest and felt a hand reach up and brush your hair to the side. “I’m sorry.” He whispered into the top of your head, and you smiled. “‘M not any good at this... at havin’ people give a damn. I’m so sorry I didn’ trust it... that I didn’t trust ya... god Y/N I’m so sorry... I shouldn’ta yelled or gone off like that... I’m sorry.” He continued repeating himself a few times before you pulled back and shushed him.

“Dixon I’m gonna need you to stop right there. I forgive you, ok? We’re good. As long as you’ll be my friend again, we’re good.” You buried your face back into his chest immediately after speaking and his arms wrapped around you even tighter.

After a few moments of stunned silence, you felt him move back ever so slightly. “Hey” he began, before you felt an extremely gentle hand on the bottom of your chin, tilting your head upwards so you could meet his eyes. As you made contact you could see the red rims and streaks of tears down his face, and your heart broke all over again. You reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. “Hey.” you spoke with a smirk in your voice, “It’s all ok now. We’re ok. I promise.” He smiled the slightest bit in response and nodded. His hand on your chin moved to your cheek, and you watched his eyes scan your face. “Shoulda said it a million times. Every single time ya did somethin’ nice fer me I shoulda said it. But I’ll say it now. Thank you.” his voice shook as he let it out.

“Hey.” You said with a slight laugh, “You’ve said thank you! You’re just not great at saying it with words, Dixon” He smiled at that, a real, full smile that filled in the cracks of your heart.

“In that case,” he began, a bit sheepishly, “can I say something else?” You simply nodded in response and he didn’t wait before gently bringing his lips to meet yours. It was soft and sweet and nothing like what you’d imagine from Daryl. He held you like the most precious thing in the world and kissed you like he needed to savor you forever, like you were the thing keeping him alive.

And when you pulled away, rosy cheeked and breathless, he simply raised an eyebrow at you and whispered “get it?” You rolled your eyes and sighed.

“Sorry, that was really lame.” She said, still giggling. Her voice and laugh rolled like gravel, it had clearly been a while since she had spoken, but there was a brightness to her lilting tone that had Daryl leaning in to hear more, as if a few more words from her might just set the world right again. “Where’re ya headed?” Daryl finally managed to ask, once he had collected himself. “Anywhere” she said, no hesitation in her voice. She was peering into the cab of the truck, looking around, getting a read on the situation. She seemed satisfied. “I got room,” Daryl offered and there was that smile again. He ducked his head and focused on his hands in his lap. No gaze like that, no smile like that could ever really be meant for him. He squirmed uncomfortably under that kind of focus. She quickly slid into the cab of the truck and placed her pack down at her feet. With a contented sigh she settled in and he chanced a glance at her again but found her eyes still on him. Her smile had dimmed but the corners of her mouth were still distinctly upturned as she watched him eyes still alight. She wasn’t just glancing at him either, the way most people did before they move on to whatever’s really important. She was actually seeing him, observing, like she actually wanted to know more about him. He could practically feel her eyes combing over every inch of him, searching for all the answers he wasn’t willing to give up out loud. He cleared his throat and turned his attention to the road as quickly as he could, getting the truck moving again.

“Thank you,” She said quietly. It was genuine and possibly even a little desperate. He didn’t want to think about how long she had been alone out there, what had led to her being out there like that, all alone. “-‘S nothing” He said, shaking his head a bit, still refusing to meet her gaze. He could almost feel the heat of that smile singe the hair off of the back of his neck. “Y/N L/N” She said, and held her hand out to him. His eyes slid over to her quickly as he shook her hand before focusing again on the road. He tried not to notice the way the contact seemed to burn the same way her smile did. “Daryl Dixon.” He responded and he swore he didn’t even have to look, he could just feel that goddamn lazer beam of a smile lighting up the cab again. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her nod to herself a bit, satisfied with the interaction, before leaning back in her seat and pulling the baseball cap she had on down over her eyes. “Thanks again, Dixon,” She said with a soft exhale before settling in comfortably. Before long, he could barely hear gentle, even wisps of her breathing over the truck’s engine and there was that burning feeling again, whiskey in his throat. It went down smooth and pooled in a ball of warmth in his stomach. He didn’t hate it.

The group took to her instantly. She was always there with a smile and a solution, a bright side, another option when things looked grim. She was also a bit of a jack of all trades it seemed. She knew her way around a knife, could tell you what every single plant in the forest was and whether you could eat it or not, had a little sewing kit that she used to make small repairs to everyone’s clothes, could start a fire with just about nothing, the list went on and on. While she wouldn’t give up what she did before the end, she did reveal that she was a girl scout as a kid and had picked up a lot from that. She was great with Carl and Sophia and seemed to be the positive energy that was sorely needed to balance out their perpetually moody and brooding group. It wasn’t like the group was entirely falling apart before, but as soon as she showed up it felt like everyone was much closer, like there was just maybe something other than unfortunate shared circumstances keeping everyone together.

Then Sophia went missing, and Carl was shot, and suddenly everything was falling apart again. At least the farm felt like a safe place to exist for the moment while everything else went to shit. And then Daryl had to go and be an idiot and fall on his own damn arrow and that idiot Andrea fucking shot him, and his sorry ass was stuck in bed instead of out there looking for Sophia.

He woke up in a bed in the farmhouse to someone’s gentle touch on his face. She came into focus slowly with the rest of the world, a bit blurry and so soft around the edges. It was all her. All he could feel were her fingertips brushing against his skin, her breath the sole sound in his ear, that soft sort of floral scent that followed her around seemed to swaddle him. When his eyes finally came into focus, there was only her frame hovering over him, changing the bandages on his head wound. As she saw his eyes open her face lit up and he winced.

“Oh god I’m so sorry! I’m just making sure your dressings are clean, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” She said quickly, her bright smile replaced with a deep look of concern and Daryl felt something like shame twist up in his stomach. The smooth burn in his throat from her touch and her gaze had already slid downwards and turned into a knot. “Yain’t hurtin’ me woman,” He said, wincing again involuntarily at how harsh the words had come out. He felt her touch lighten despite his words. She sighed and continued to work in silence. The air felt empty without her usual positive chatter, her gentle but firm affirmations, or her kind reassurance. Daryl was never one for conversation but he’d be lying if he said he’d have objected to the sound of her voice at that moment. Instead, when she was done, she simply placed a gentle hand on his arm, planted a quick kiss on his cheek, and whispered a quiet “you get some rest now, Dixon” far too close to his ear before flashing him another heart-stopping smile and leaving him to wonder if he had maybe just up and died when Andrea shot him. She had been in and out constantly, bringing him food, changing his bandages, just checking up on him in general. She would sit in the room with him for long chunks of time, sometimes talking, sometimes just sitting in silence next to his bed while she patched up peoples’ clothes.

He had just woken up after a hazy, fitful sleep to find her sitting by his bed once again, eyes focused on her sewing. She was humming gently. It was quiet, but he could hear that familiar sweetness in the tune, the brightness that always radiated through a room in her crystal clear laugh, now present in her low and soft humming. If he had focused a bit harder, he was fairly certain he would have been able to make out the song she was humming. It was something he knew from before, but she stopped before he could manage to recall what it was.

“You’re awake!” She said excitedly, “I hope I didn’t wake you, I swear I didn’t even realize I was doing it,” she looked genuinely nervous and apologetic as the words seemed to just spill out of her mouth. Daryl had never been one for speaking up, but the reassurance was slipping from his lips before he had any chance to stop it.

“Naw, weren’t sleepin’ much anyway...” He paused for a moment and was surprised to find that he didn’t want to settle into silence like he usually did. Instead he kept going, “... ‘s nice tho... yer voice” She blushed at that, and if he had thought her smiles packed heat, he was worried he might downright melt from the feeling of making her blush like that.

“It’s nothing,” She spoke so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. She stayed quiet for a moment before shaking her head a bit and focusing back on Daryl. “How are you feeling?” She asked like she genuinely wanted to hear the answer. And not just as a nurse either, not for her medical opinion but because she really cared about how he was feeling. He wanted to pull his head under the covers like a little kid and hide from that kind of attention. But her eyes were wide on him and he couldn’t bear to let her down.

“-’M alright,” He said with a sigh, “wish ya’d just let me outta this bed,” he was being childish and he knew it, but he was too cooped up (and now even more skittish under her gaze) to care. She simply quirked an eyebrow at him and let out a stifled but still achingly melodious giggle.

“You are a handful, you know that Dixon?” She said with a shake of her head. Her sewing had been abandoned on her lap and she reached over to check the dressing on his head. He cleared his throat as she gingerly pulled the bandages off and looked at his wound.

“What were ya singin’?...when I woke up... sounded familiar,” he asked, anything to distract from her caring and gentle touch burning holes in his skin, or her face so close to his as she carefully looked at his wound.

“Oh” she paused for a moment, thinking. She had been in the middle of wrapping his head back up and she had frozen with her hands resting on either side of his face. He didn’t know how he had somehow managed to make this situation even more painful, but he was stuck practically holding his breath, eyes fixed on a little silver pendant swinging back and forth from a chain on her neck so he didn’t have to make eye contact. Finally, after a small infinity, she blessedly began to move again.

“It was Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls,” She said with a fond smile. “One of my favorite songs back in college,” He nodded to himself as the song came back to him, but he didn’t say anything else. She was still so close to his face, like she was trying to see past whatever walls he had built up. Before he could pull away or try to squirm under her gaze she was already leaning back, picking up her sewing again. He didn’t know what she had managed to see, but he was sure it hadn’t been something good.

“Wound looks pretty clean if you ask me. Other one was looking good earlier too, shouldn’t be long now before you’ll be back on your feet.” She said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. He grunted something affirmative and appreciative and she couldn’t stifle the laugh that slipped past her lips.

“What’re ya laughing at, woman?” He tried to be at least a bit intimidating, but she just looked at him with that real, genuine smile that he never quite could fathom being directed at him and a fondness in her eyes that was missing mere moments ago.

“I know you don’t like talking much, and that’s ok. I can do plenty of talking for the two of us. One of these days though Dixon, mark my words, I’ll get some full and complete sentences outta you,” Her tone was slightly mischievous, like she was taking on a great ambition, and hell, maybe she was. Especially after that proclamation, Daryl was determined not to make it easy for her. The slight smile he felt himself showing surprised even himself. He gave another purposeful, but this time definitely skeptical grunt and there was that laugh again. He was glad he couldn’t see himself because he was fairly certain that he was beet red from head to toe.

“Well now you’re in for it Dixon, I’ve decided to make it my personal mission. One of these days you’re gonna look around you won’t know how or when it happened, but all of a sudden you’ll realize that I’ve become your best friend.” He was slightly shocked at this proclamation, but tried his best to keep his expression steady and unconcerned.

“Ain’t really worthy of that title,” he said, he couldn’t stop from dropping his eyes down to his hands. “And that is exactly why you need a best friend like me,” She said. He didn’t have to look up to see her smile.

The farm fell. Shit hit the fan, which was something Daryl was well accustomed to even before the world ended. They made it out alive. They survived on the road for months. Everyone wasted away but they made it through. They had cleared out a prison. Things were finally looking up.

Daryl sat in one of the guard towers on watch. He would probably sleep up there too. He couldn’t get used to sleeping in a cell, even if the doors were taken off, made him feel trapped, like a caged animal. He was scanning the tree line when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Y/N poked her head in with a smile and he nodded to her as a hello.

“Hey Dixon, Rick told me you came right up here after your run?” She said cautiously. He nodded accompanied by a vague grunt. “He also told me that you had a nasty looking gash on your arm that you refused to let anyone check on?” She asked and he sighed, holding his arm out for her to see. “Got caught on some glass gettin’ out through a broken window. Was careless and stupid,” He said nonchalantly. She sighed and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. He tried not to flinch at the unexpected contact but he could tell by her shaky exhale that she noticed. She gave him a gentle nudge downwards and he got what she was asking. He sat down beside her on the edge of the platform, legs dangling below them. She took his forearm in her hands and examined the gash, which began a little below his elbow and extended an inch or two down his arm. It wasn’t too long, but it ran deep.

“It’s not too bad. You’ll only need a few stitches,” She said, turning away. He was about to grumble something about not bothering the old man when she turned back to him, first aid supplies in hand. “Ya don’t-” He started, but she raised a hand and cut him off. “I got you, Dixon, let me get you fixed up” She sounded stern, yet somehow still gentle and he had to force himself to shut his mouth which had, against his own wishes, just sat there, hanging open at her statement. “This is gonna sting a bit, I’m sorry,” She said, dabbing some antiseptic on the gash. She began stichting and he hissed through his teeth. She seemed to wince at his expression of pain and he immediately felt bad for worrying her. Getting the actual damn gash had hurt far more than this. She was quick and gentle and it was over within a few minutes. She let out a shaky breath when she snipped the thread and he looked down at her hands which definitely had not been shaking that much when she put the sutures in him.

“Ya did good,” he said quietly, wanting to reassure but not quite sure how. She looked up at him with a soft smile. “Sorry, I hope they didn’t hurt too bad. Haven’t done them much on real people, I got nervous.” She admitted. He shook his head. “Weren’t nothin’” He reassured and she let out another long breath. “Good.” She said, and he had a feeling that was more for herself than for him.

They sat in silence for a while, legs hanging over the edge of the platform, staring off at the treeline. The quiet felt more safe and comfortable than anything Daryl had experienced in a long time. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her turn to look over at him, so he kept his eyes focused on the treeline, afraid of what awaited in her gaze. She sighed and very slowly leaned down to rest her head on his shoulder. His entire body went stiff for a moment, almost entirely reflexively, before he could manually force himself to relax a bit. He took a deep breath and tried to let some of the tension leave his body, but it was hard when the weight of her head was right there on his shoulder and he could feel her hair brush up against his neck. He thought he was going to go crazy trying to fixate on all of it when she finally spoke.

“Daryl...” She started. She sighed quietly and he could almost hear her brain whirring, searching for what exactly she wanted to say. He could tell by her second, slightly more defeated sigh that she hadn’t quite found it. “Do you think this could really be home?” She finally asked. He let out a sigh of his own, grateful for something to focus on besides the contact but unsure of how to answer.

“Don’t know,” He said after a brief moment of contemplation. “Neither do I,” she said the words so quietly he wasn’t sure if he’d heard them correctly. He didn’t really know how to respond. She was usually the one who was so sure. She was always there with a smile and reassurance that this was the moment where everything would go right, that it would all be ok in the end. He didn’t realize that he didn’t really know how to have that kind of hope if she wasn’t the voice in his ear reassuring him.

They sat in silence for a few more moments before she sat up. He looked over at her sudden movement and she had a scrunched up, determined look on her face. Her eyes were dead set on the horizon. “It will be. It will be because you’re here and Rick’s here and we’re going to make it home.” She seemed to be reassuring herself much more than Daryl, but he didn’t mind hearing it. She looked over at him when she was done speaking and flashed him an appreciative smile. When he turned back towards the horizon and away from her gaze she leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. As she stood up to head back down she called over her shoulder, “See ya later best friend! Take it easy on those stitches! And get some sleep! I’ll send someone to take over for you in a couple of hours!” She turned and headed down the stairs when she was done and Daryl let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in since she had taken his injured arm so gently in her hands.

She got into a habit of checking in on Daryl whenever he was on watch. She would sit with him and talk to him about whatever was on her mind, or whatever was happening with the rest of the group. He would talk too occasionally. He mostly gave quick responses to whatever she was saying but every now and then she reached in with nimble fingers and pulled something more real out of him, either a story about Merle, or some thoughts on the rest of the group, even a promise to give her a proper lesson in tracking and using a crossbow. She had been fascinated with his bow since the first time she’d seen him shoulder it and was constantly harassing him for lessons. He figured now that they were in the walls not on the run, worrying about staying alive from one moment to the next and they actually had the time and energy it couldn’t hurt to see what she could do. Before he knew it, that little offhand promise had transformed into a routine, they’d work with the bow or go out and track and hunt in the early morning and she’d always come up to see him in the guard tower as the sun began to fall over the horizon. Sometimes she’d bring dinner for him, or her sewing, or just herself. If he was being completely honest, he didn’t mind any of those options.

“Daryl Dixon, I swear to god, you better start being more careful out there,” her words were chiding but there was no harshness in her tone. If that weren’t enough, her exasperated smile definitely gave her away. “Told ya, I always do my best. Shit happens tho” He said, trying to swat her hand away as she tried to move his hair out of the way to get a look at the gash on his forehead.

“Hey!” her laughter filled the air as she grabbed his wrist to keep him from swatting. “You know that I’m not leaving until I make sure you’re all good, so you might as well make it easy on yourself and let me do my thing. Don’t make me get Rick up here to hold you down.” She had put on a scowl, and he could tell she was trying to be menacing, but it was an ill-fitting mask on her. As soon as he held his hands up in surrender it was thrown away in favor of her usual smile. She moved in closer to him, moving up on to her knees to get a better look. As she gently began to clean and inspect the wound he found himself face to face again with that pendant he had noticed at the farm, and while on the run, and if he was being completely honest most days in the prison. He had always wondered what it was, but had never seen it up close since that first time in bed at the farm. It was a symbol made up of two hands holding a heart with a crown on top. The silver pendant seemed as much part of her body as her eyes, or her hands. He never saw her without it.

“Seems like it wasn’t too deep, you don’t need stitches but I do want to put a butterfly bandage on there just to be safe.” She spoke while she looked through the first aid kit, and lapsed back into silence as she found what she needed and went back to work. Before he could really think about what he was doing, Daryl reached out and gingerly took her pendant between his fingers. Her eyes snapped downwards, confusion written across her features.

“Sorry,” Daryl said, letting go quickly, mentally kicking himself for grabbing it in the first place. “-’s just a nice necklace,” he said, eyes dropping to his hands, which lay folded in his lap. She smoothed the bandage once more before sitting back down next to him. “Thank you. My dad gave it to me when I was a kid,” She said, her face a picture of fond heartache. “What’s the symbol for?” Daryl asked quietly. “It’s called a claddagh, it’s Irish. The hands represent friendship, the heart, love, and the crown, loyalty. My dad ran a marathon in Dublin when I was young. I think it was sort of a bucket list thing. He brought back this necklace for me. I used to wear it everywhere as a kid, I mean I really loved it. Then in high school I thought I was too cool and it got shoved in a drawer for a while until I found it again in college. I’ve worn it ever since.” She brushed away a tear that was poised to fall and sighed. “Especially when shit went down, I don’t know where my parents are, if they’re alive at all...” she paused, chest heaving, words thick. He could see her denying tears. “Still feels like they’re with me,” she finished with a soft smile. How she could manage to smile after that, he had no idea.

“Sorry to bring it up,” he sighed. “Didn’t mean to make ya sad,” He dropped his eyes once again. “Stop doing that.” She sounded genuinely annoyed. He looked up, confused. “Doin’ what?” He couldn’t fight the scowl that made its way onto his face. “Gettin’ all down on yourself! Whenever you’re beating yourself up you always look down like that! Like you’re ashamed, and I’m sick of it! Dixon, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of!” She was almost yelling now, and he had to fight the urge to lower his gaze again. He settled for scowling at the horizon. He stayed quiet, unsure of how to respond. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek and turned his head so he was forced to meet her eyes.

“Daryl, you’re the best of us. I mean it. It kills me that you don’t see it. Please, just...” She trailed off, searching his eyes as he practically held his breath. Maybe if he didn’t breathe, didn’t let anything in or out, she wouldn’t be able to see through him, whatever ridiculous and righteous illusion she had created in her mind would remain untouched, unharmed. “For me Daryl, please, try not to be so hard on yourself.” “I don’t-” he started, trying to look down again but she immediately cut him off. “No. I’m not done.” She held his gaze with a look that said Look away Dixon, I dare you. “I don’t pick just anyone to be my best friend, Dixon. Believe it or not I don’t just go around gettin’ chummy with every redneck who picks me up from the side of the road.” He couldn’t help the surprised, sort of strangled laugh that escaped him. His reaction drew a gentle, warm smile across her lips and even after a year of knowing her he still couldn’t fight the heat that ran beneath his skin whenever she directed that small slice of sunlight towards him.

She leaned in and planted a quick kiss on his cheek, something she had incorporated into their little routine (not that it made his heart slow or his face flush any less when she did it the first time or the 50th time), and sighed. “I’m sorry for flipping out on you. I just care about you and I hate seeing you doubt yourself like that.” “-‘S ok.” He said, forcing himself to hold her gaze and not lower his head like he wanted so badly to do. She narrowed her eyes a bit as she studied his face, and he could practically hear her mind moving, analyzing him. It scared him, he wasn’t used to feeling so seen. She seemed to realize that he wasn’t going to say any more and pulled him into a hug. He stiffened immediately, and she pulled back slightly before he forced himself to relax. She let out a small laugh that was more awkward than genuine, no humor behind it.

“I feel like I’ve done enough damage for one day,” Voice apologetic as she moved to stand but instinctively Daryl reached out and grabbed her wrist. He was careful to keep his grip light, not forcing her to stay but asking. “Ya haven’t. Ya could stay... if ya want” He said, voice barely above a whisper. She broke out into a full grin and lowered herself back down to sit beside him. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he felt some of the tension in his body melt away. “You really are the best of us.” She said with a small sigh, and he responded with a small grunt that drew a burst of giggles out of her, which slowly dissolved into comfortable silence as the sun began to disappear over the horizon.

For a while this life at the prison almost felt too good to be true. Of course it was. Reality always came crashing down, weighing heavily on his shoulders in the end.

The governor came crashing through the gates with a goddamn tank and everything went to shit again. Except this time he didn’t have her there to reassure him that it would all turn out alright. He had Beth, which was a close second in terms of optimism, but then suddenly he didn’t even have her and everything felt like it was falling apart around him. He was completely alone, his family all likely dead, and he had fallen in with a group that made him feel more like his daddy than he had ever wanted to feel. He stuck it out with those assholes for no reason other than that tiny glimmer of hope that Beth was still out there somewhere. If nothing else, he owed it to that girl to get her out of whatever mess he landed her in in the first place. And then he found Rick, Carl, and Michonne and suddenly his reasons to live had multiplied by three. Terminus was a flash of hope. It didn’t bring him any closer to finding Beth, but Rick pointed out that if anyone from the group survived and found the signs, they would likely be heading there as well.

The train tracks had been easy enough to follow. As the compound came into view, for just a brief moment Daryl allowed himself to hope. But once inside that hope began to very quickly whittle away. It was too quiet, and there was something off about that Gareth guy. And suddenly they were spotting Hershel’s pocket watch, and the riot gear, and Maggie’s poncho and a silver necklace with a claddagh charm and then Daryl felt himself begin to drown. Everything that had kept him going, the small spark of hope that he had allowed to live inside him had been drenched. Now all he felt was steam rising, his insides boiling, but before he could do anything about it the gunfire began and then they were herded towards a boxcar.

Daryl wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but his whole family corralled into one place had definitely not been it. They were all there except Carol and baby Judith, two losses which weighed heavily on the entire group. But everyone else was there and safe and alive. He scanned the room, giving hugs and looking people up and down, making sure everyone looked ok. He moved slowly through the car, through each of his family members, before he came to a stop in front of a figure balled up in the corner. Her face was hidden but her frame was unmistakable.

“Y/N?” he asked, and her name on his lips again felt like coming back to a place you’ve once called home. She slowly picked your head up, and he immediately noticed the dark circles under her eyes, and the way her cheeks looked gaunt and hollow. But when she saw that it was really him, that Daryl Dixon was really standing in front of her, her eyes widened. She leapt to her feet with surprising speed and threw her arms around him. His arms wrapped around her body and when he lifted her off of her feet for a moment he could have sworn that the weight of the world wasn’t all that much to hold. She pulled away and placed her hands on either side of his face.

“I can’t believe it’s really you” Tears began to pool in her eyes and she pulled him back in for another hug, face buried in his shoulder. He could feel her shoulders shake and a patch of wetness grow on his shirt. “Thought you were gone.” She whispered. He shook his head and brought a hand up to stroke her hair. “Naw, ain’t gettin’ rida me that easy now, womanl” He said quietly. After a few more moments she pulled away and just stared at him with those wide, shocked eyes. “Promise I ain’t goin’ anywhere, I’ll still be here if ya blink” She nodded and let out a shaky exhale. “I missed you,” she whispered just as Rick and Carl made their way over to give her a hug. “Missed ya too” he said.

He took a few steps back, and only when he stepped away did he notice the cold emptiness nipping at him, like something was missing. He watched her hug Rick and Carl, he watched the most important people in the world to him all come back together in a single moment, and yet he felt cold. She was crying. She was hugging people. She was telling everyone how much she missed them.

Daryl was the first to reach you. "Knew I'd have to save your ass at some point today." He quipped. He was joking, but you were in so much pain that you didn’t notice his light tone and the comment only making you cry harder. You tried your best not to move, because every time you did the wood only dug deeper. "Can you pull your leg out?" He asked while looking at the blood that started to soak the surrounding boards.

You took a deep breath and held it as you tried to get yourself into a position where you could pull it out. You ended up releasing that breath in a stifled cry of pain. "I can't." You sobbed. "I can't stand up."

"Rick, I’m gonna get behind her and pick her up. Will you guide her leg out?" Daryl asked Rick as he moved to stand behind you on the stairs. He hooked his arms under yours and tugged you up. When you could you grabbed the handrail and used it to help Daryl lift your weight. As soon as you could get your good leg sturdy on the stairs you put all your weight on it.

Daryl let you go and moved around to sit down on the stairs and examine your cuts. "We gotta get her back fast. These need stitches soon or she's gonna bleed out." Rick told Daryl.

Daryl stood up and turned to you, putting his hand on your forearm as he asked, "Can you walk?"

You tried to put pressure on your foot only to stifle a cry of pain. "No, my foot hit a beam or something under the stairs. I think I sprained it."

Instead of helping you down the stairs Daryl bent down and hooked one arm under your knees and the other around your upper back then picked you up. He carried you down the stairs and you wanted to pop off at him. Instead, you wrapped your left arm around his neck, hanging on, while your right arm was smashed between your side and his stomach. Holding your head up was awkward in this position, so you simply laid it on his chest.

Instead of putting you in the back seat of the two door truck Daryl set you down in the bed then climbed in after you. Rick shut the tailgate then got in the driver's seat while the other man rode shot gun.

As Rick cranked the truck and started driving Daryl took off his vest and sleeveless shirt. You couldn't deny you loved the view, but when he wrapped his shirt around your leg and pressed down pain shot through your leg causing you to groan and grab on to the side of the truck bed. "So of a bitch!" You yelled as your knuckles turned white where you gripped the truck.

"Gotta stop the bleeding." He explained without looking you in the eyes.

"I know, I'm not an idiot." You spat through gritted teeth.

"I didn't say you were." Daryl replied still looking at your leg and the blood that was soaking through the thin fabric of his shirt.

"No, but you're probably thinking it. “stupid, idiotic y/n, always causing trouble always getting in the way” I'm sorry I'm an idiot and didn't see the rotten step." You ranted. Then he put more pressure on the cuts making you hiss in pain.

"I don't think you're an idiot." You just stared at him not believing a word he said. "Accident prone? Maybe, but you're not stupid. Anyone could've overlooked that rotten step."

When you started feeling dizzy you looked down to where Daryl was still holding his shirt to see that it was soaked through and blood was oozing out onto the truck bed. "Daryl...I don't..." You felt your death grip on the side of the truck bed loosening "feel...so..." You felt your head hit Daryl's hand before your world went black.

When you came to you were laying in a bed in the infirmary in Alexandria. Doctor Seddiq had his back turned to you while doing something at the counter in the room. When you groaned in pain you heard a rustle to your right and turned to see Daryl. "Hey." He said quietly as he wiggled in the hard chair a little.

"Hey." You rasped getting Seddiq's attention. "I..." You glanced around you a little confused, "I passed out from blood loss didn't I?"

"Yes." Seddiq said as he moved to stand at the foot of your bed. "But you're ok now. You have stitches on both sides of your calf and a sprained ankle. I'm not keeping you in the infirmary so your free to go, but I'm going to need you to keep those dressings clean and come see me in a couple of days for a check up. Eat light and take it easy, don't put too much weight on that foot." As he was talking he handed Daryl a set of crutches.

When you sat up and pivoted so that your legs were hanging off of the bed Daryl stood up and placed a hand on your back. You wanted to ask him what he was doing, why he was being so nice to you, but now didn't feel like the right time. So you let him keep his hand there as you slid off of the bed and placed your good foot on the floor. Daryl handed you the crutches and you put them under your arm pits and got stable on them.

Once you were good to go you headed out of the clinic, Daryl walking right beside you. When you gave him a curious glance your eyes met and you shared a small awkward smile. "I um," he bit at his cuticle on his thumb and you looked back in front of you making sure you didn't put the crutches down on a lose rock. "I didn't know if you needed help with anything." He explained.

"I don't think so, but I also didn't think I would pass out from blood loss today. So what do I know?" You said with a small shrug. When you looked over at him he was chewing on his thumb looking straight ahead. He glanced over at you and for some reason you got the feeling that he was nervous. "You can hang around in case I need help." You looked back ahead of you, starting to feel like you were getting the hang of using the crutches. "But you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to" he told you as you came to the steps that led up to your porch and you hesitated, trying to figure out how to get up them with the crutches. You had put your good foot on the bottom step when you felt Daryl’s arms around you.

Next thing you knew Daryl had swept you up bridal style. He carried you up the steps and across the porch then let you open the door before he finally set you down. "You didn't have to do that you know? I could've gotten up them on my own."

He waved you off. "My way was faster." As he headed toward your kitchen you sat on your couch and propped your feet up on the coffee table being careful not to move your leg too fast or bump it on anything. When he came back he held a cup of water in one hand and something else was in the fist of his other hand. After you took the offered cup he opened his other hand revealing two white pills. "Pain pills. Doc. gave me a few to offer you." He said with a shrug.

"I can handle the pain. We need to save those for people who really need them." You said waving him off. He set them on the coffee table in case you wanted them later, then sat down in the arm chair. After a few minutes of awkward silence you finally spoke up. "Can I ask you something?" Daryl hummed and nodded. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"It's my fault you got hurt. Figured I could at least make it up to ya." He said with a shrug.

You frowned. "How is it your fault that I stepped on a rotten board?"

"I asked Rick to ask you to come."

"Why?" You were beyond confused. "You don't even like me."

"I don't like how annoying and aggravating you can be, but I've kinda missed you these past few weeks." You were a little shocked at his answer. You fidgeted with the cup of water in your hands, staring at the inch of clear liquid left inside. After you pressed the rim to your lips and downed the last bit Daryl stood up and held his hand out for the glass. "Want more?" He asked as he plucked the cup from your hand.

You shook your head no and he left to put the cup in the kitchen. While he was gone you scratched your head. Daryl wanted you to go on the run because he missed you? What the hell did that mean? Did it mean he liked you back? Or did it mean he simply missed having you around? You had dropped your feet off of the table and was leaning forward rubbing your temple in thought when he walked back in and saw your brows drawn together. From where he was standing it looked like you were in pain.

“You sure you don’t want to take those pills?” he asked walking over to look at the empty frames you had placed on the fire place mantle for decoration.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You said as you dropped your hand and let it fall into your lap. “I’m not in that much pain.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” He said quietly as he turned around and motioned to your face.

“I was just thinking.” You said without looking at him, but at the pills on the table instead. It looked more like you were looking through the table really.

“”bout what?” he asked taking a step closer to you.

You didn’t look up, but instead just shrugged. “Nothin’.” Daryl moved around in front of you and sat down on the table where you had been staring. You still didn’t look at him. Not until he hooked his finger under your chin and made you. You just watched as he studied your face. “What are you doing?” you asked all too aware of his finger that was still hooked under your chin.

“Tryin’ to figure out if you swiped something from the doc’s and took it while I wasn’t lookin’.”

With that answer you snapped out of your thoughts and swiped his hand aside. “I don’t do drugs. Never have never will.” You crossed your hands over your chest and leaned back.

Daryl stood up and started pacing. “Then what the hell’s wrong with ya? You’re actin’ like your personality drained out with your blood today?!” he practically yelled at you before he stopped and stared at you.

“I didn’t lose my personality.” You said as you pushed yourself up off of the couch to stand on your good foot. “And why the hell are you gettin’ mad at me?” you asked back quietly but he didn’t miss your flared nostrils.

“’cause I’m worried ‘bout ya!” he yelled swinging his arm at you.

“you’re…” you blinked in confusion, “You’re worried about me? Why?”

“You ain’t been actin’ like yourself.” He said finally not yelling at you.

“I’m just tired.” You sighed and swiped some hair out of your face.

“I ain’t just talkin’ ‘bout today.” He said with a shake of his head. His eyes were glaring at you with and intenseness you had never seen from him before. “The past few weeks you’ve been holed up in this house. You only come out for more food. It ain’t like you.”

“Yeah?” you asked as you bent down and grabbed your crutches. “Well you made me this way. So get used to it.” You put the crutches under your arms.

“What do you mean I made you this way?” he asked. You just stared at him, lips pursed and nostrils flared. “Aw shit.” He growled as he finally caught on that you were still mad about the things he had said to you. You started hobbling your way to the stairs that your bedroom was at the top of. “I told ya I was sorry about that!” he yelled after you.

“Yes, Daryl, but you didn’t deny that it was true.” You yelled to Daryl who you could hear following you. “I told you I would stay out of your way. This is me staying true to my word.”

“Son of a bitch woman!” he yelled as you stopped at the base of the stairs and turned to look at him. “I don’t want you to stay out of the way! I want you to-” he stopped himself.

“What, Daryl?!” you yelled, shaking your crutches at your sides. “What do you want from me?” you felt tears start slipping down your cheeks and you didn’t know if they were from sadness, frustration or both.

You thought he was going to get mad and lash out at you, like he used to, but instead he calmly took the crutches from you. They clanked together as he leaned them against the rail of the stairs. Your heartbeat quickened when he grabbed a lock of your bangs that were hanging in your face between his pointer and middle finger and attempted to tuck it behind your ear. From your ear his hand slid down your neck to your shoulder then back up to cup the side of your neck. It was clear that he was unsure of himself and nervous, but eventually he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

Slowly, confidence strengthened between the two of you and you placed your hands on his sides while he slipped his hand to the back of your neck, gripped your hip with the other and pulled you in a little closer. After a few seconds he loosened his grip on your neck and slowly pulled away. You stared at him in shock for a minute before you finally managed to give him a little smirk and form words. “So uh…um.” They weren’t intelligent words, but at least you tried to say something. He smiled, happy that he had rendered you practically speechless. But when you broke eye contact and looked down at your feet, words finally came together in a coherent manner. “Do we have to have another fight for that to happen again?”

His smile turned into a laugh as he shook his head no then bent down, hooked one arm under your knees and the other around your shoulders and scooped you up. “You know, you don’t have to carry me everywhere.”

“Shut up.” He grunted right before he pressed his lips to yours and started walking up the stairs. When he got to the top he headed to your bedroom walked inside and laid you down following to lie beside you. The two of you made out for the remainder of the night and ended up falling asleep.

“You’re allowed to complain you know. Lord knows I would be if I were in there.” You said as you sat down in the chair that sat against the stone wall in the room.

“If you were in here with me? Na I don’t think you’d be doin’ much complainin’.” When you looked up from the sketch pad in your hands he winked at you. You felt a blush warm your cheeks as you moved your eyes back down to the sketch pad. It was also your job to sketch views of the towns for documentation and proof that there were settlements in this crazy world. You planned on scattering them out over the settlements just incase something happened they all wouldn’t get ruined if a building or two ended up getting set on fire. You wanted your art to be left behind for future generations to see when you were long gone.

Negan laughed, apparently able to see the pink tint that his comment brought to your face. “What are you doin’ over there?” he asked with a nod to the pad as he chewed on a bite of his sandwich.

“Michonne has given me the task of sketching different parts of Alexandria.” you said as you sketched one of the bars of the cell, not yet working on Negan himself.

“And I’m part of Alexandria?” he asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Well right now it’s just your cell, but be nice to me and maybe I’ll put you in the drawing.”

“Oh, I’ll be nice.” Once again his tone made you blush, but you bit your lips closed and focused on your work. He chuckled quietly to himself. It was quiet for a while, the whole time his eyes were on you, but you only looked up to take in the details of the room and not the man in it. “Tell me, you got a guy up there on the surface?” he motioned to the window where you could see peoples feet as they walked around outside.

“No.” you answered not looking at him.

“So you and Daryl…?” he asked waiting for you to finish his sentence.

“You know it’s really hard to concentrate with you talking.” You said looking up from the paper to finally look at him.

“You said be nice.” He pointed out making you scowl.

“Fine then be quiet and I’ll consider drawing you in.” You snapped and he just smiled.

“So you do like Daryl?” he said through his smile and you bit your lip as you got back to work. It was once again quiet for a few minutes as you finished up the outline of the cell behind the bars that you had drawn. It was time to decide if you were going to sketch Negan into the cell. “Daryl’s an idiot you know. If we were back at the sanctuary I would’ve already asked you to marry me.”

You had been looking down at your pad, but when he said that you couldn’t help glaring up at him through your lashes. “What?” you had no clue why this was the word that you chose to let past your lips but it made Negan flash a big smile and in that moment you found yourself understanding why the women who agreed to be his wife had done so.

“Come on, you’re hot and you know it.” You had never thought of yourself as hot even once in your life. “If we were back at the sanctuary and you were alone, no Daryl, none of your people there to take care of you, no knowledge of the events that landed me here, what would you say to my proposal?”

You closed the book and hugged it to your chest as you glared at him and thought about your answer. If the circumstances were what he just described to you…? You started actually considering it. He wasn’t unattractive. Actually he was pretty damn hot. From what you had heard none of his brides went without and he wasn’t mean to them. The only down side was that you would have to share him. That in and of it’s self was a deal breaker.

“No.” you answered.

“Seriously?” he asked with his signature lean back. You didn’t answer and just watched as he grabbed the paper plate and held it out for you through the slot.

You set the pad on the floor and got up to take the plate from him. “Yeah, seriously.” You answered as you grabbed the plate.

“Why not?” he asked as he grabbed your hand through the slot and flipped it over in his. You dropped the plate on the outside of his cell. You could have taken your hand back. It was just sitting in his, but his sudden action had stunned you. Your eyes moved to his hazels stunning you even more. You saw his body move as he lifted his other hand and started drawing on the palm of your hand with the tip of his pointer finger. “You know I would take care of you.”

Little did you know that Daryl had walked by and heard Negan talking to someone in a flirtatious tone. So he leaned down and peered through the window.

You inhaled a deep breath and let it out, hating how good Negan’s touch felt. “I don’t share.” You said as you took your hand from his. As soon as the warmth was gone you felt yourself sobering up from the daze hisintimacy had put you in.

“Well, good news, I’m single.” He said and you shook your head and turned your back on him to bend down and pick up your drawing pad. “Damn.” He sighed shaking his head as he took in your ass that you had pointed right at him without thinking about it. You stood up and spun around quickly. “You have the keys, why don’t you come inside and let me show you how much I appreciate that fine ass of yours?”

After he asked that you heard the basement door open and Daryl came charging in. “Daryl?” you asked in confusion as he came rushing in looking pissed. “I thought you were out on a run, what are you doin’ here?” you asked in confusion as he stomped over and grabbed you by your upper arm.

“Yeah, Daryl, what are you doin’ here?” Negan echoed your question sarcastically.

“Come on, you’re done here.” Daryl started pulling you from the cell and you willingly followed. He didn’t let go of you until you were outside and then it was like he practically threw you away from him.

“What the hell is your problem Daryl?” you asked looking up at him with creased brows.

“What’s my problem?” he asked back at you. “What the hell is wrong with you, letting him touch you like that?” he growled, practically yelling at you.

You felt yourself deflate and crossed your arms over your chest, covering it with your drawing pad. You felt a tear run down your face from how he treated you and you turned away from him and started toward your house. You weren’t going to argue with him about this in the middle of the street. As you passed one of the windows of the cell you saw Negan looking up at you. You rolled your eyes and kept walking.

You weren’t aware that Daryl was following you untill you went inside and tried to shut the door behind you only for it to hit him. You turned around, stunned that he was there. “Are you gonna answer me?” he asked slamming the door behind him.

“No.” your quick answer only seemed to make him madder. “I don’t think I have to explain myself to you.”

“You seriously think he likes you? He’s playing head games with you.” Daryl glared down at you and tapped your temple with his middle finger.

You slapped him away. “You don’t think I know that?!” you yelled up at him “Regardless of what you think I’m not stupid.” You walked into the kitchen to get yourself a drink.

“I know you’re not.” Daryl almost yelled as he followed you to the kitchen. “You’re the smartest fuckin’ woman I know! That’s why I’m pissed that you let ‘im lay his grubby hand on ya! It looked like you were enjoying it!” you just pored yourself a glassed of water and took a sip as he yelled at you. “He’s a fuckin’ monster and you looked like you were ready to fuck ‘im. I’d expect it from another woman, but you?” his yelling was starting to get under your skin and make your blood boil. “Why-”

Finally you couldn’t take it anymore and placed your palms on the bar as you leaned across it at him “Because it felt good to be wanted!” your yelled words finally shut him up. He just stared at you and the tears that had started slipping down your cheeks. “No man has even given me a second look since the world fell, so excuse the fuck out of me for having a moment of weakness.” You grabbed your cup of water and walked out of the kitchen and to your room where you slammed the door behind you.

You sat down at your desk and took a few deep breaths to calm yourself. After you calmed down you decided that the future generations needed to know that even after the era of civilization fell putting people in prison was still something that worked. So you started sketching Negan by memory. You had just finished what you could when you heard a knock on your bedroom door.

As soon as you opened the door Daryl took a step toward you, grabbed your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours. You stumbled back from the force but your lips remained together and he kicked the door shut behind him. Daryl didn’t know how to say that he had not only given you a second look, but about a thousand since he’d first met you at hilltop. So he decided to show you.

The two of you walked backwards stumbling around the room like a couple of idiots until you felt Daryl hit something and he fell down to sit on your bed breaking the kiss. He placed his hands on your hips and looked at you. It was weird that all he had to do was squint up at you for you to see that it hurt him when he saw you letting Negan touch you. Even if it was just your hand. You reached out and ran your hand through his soft hair, pushing it out of his face. He let his head fall forward to rest on your stomach. You just rested your hands on the back of his neck and played with his long hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you…” What, liked you? Wanted you? What exactly was it that was going on right now?

He picked his head up and looked up at you. “I didn’t either. Not until I saw…” he didn’t finish his sentence and when his eyes grew dark he didn’t have to.

“Negan made you jealous?” you asked. He nodded and pulled your hips toward him, silently asking you to come closer. So you moved to straddle his lap. He slid his hands up your back making you sigh before your lips met again. The two of you made out like a couple of teenagers for ten minutes before you broke apart for a breather. “This is nice.” You said from where you lay with your head on Daryl’s shoulder while your hands traced the lines of his abs. He picked your hand up and placed his palm against yours, comparing the sizes of your hands. “I don’t want to ruin the moment or anything, but I have to know…what does this mean for us?” you felt his head turn to look at you so you looked up at him.

“What do ya mean?” he asked and you shrugged.

“I mean, are we still just friends, friends with benefits or…are we something more?” you asked sliding your hand that was still pressed against his to the side to lace your fingers together. “I guess I’m asking you to put a label on us.”

Daryl hummed and turned his eyes back to your hands. You did to and you watched as he grabbed your right hand and pulled a ring off that you always wore on your right ring finger. You wanted to ask what he was doing, but you just watched. He picked up your left hand and placed it on your left ring finger. Butterflies started soaring in your stomach and flew up to your chest. “Not askin’ ya to marry me. It’s just there to hold the place if we ever decide to tie the knot one day.” He said and you turned your eyes to his and smiled broadly. He smiled back before another makeout session ensued.

“Wow, I’m surprised Daryl let you come back down here after the way he pulled you out of here yesterday.” Negan said when you walked in with his breakfast of fresh cow’s milk and stale cereal. You ignored him and handed him the styrofoam bowl and plastic spoon. “You are aware that you put your ring on the wrong hand this morning aren’t you?”

“It’s not on the wrong hand.” You humored him with a reply as you sat down and started putting the finishing touches on the drawing of Neagan that you couldn’t get from memory.

“Whoa, wait a minute, did you and crossbow get engaged?” he asked around his bite of food and you could hear the smile in his voice without even looking up.

But you had to look up to make sure you had his eye shape right. “It’s a promise ring.” You looked back down and started drawing his eyebrows.

“He gave you your ring as a promise ring?” he asked in confusion.

“It’s not like Alexandria has a jewelry store.” You said flatly not looking up from your work.

He was quiet while he finished eating and you finished drawing. When you were done you flipped the pad over and walked over to the bars to show Negan. “Nice. Looks just like me.”

“Yep, you’ll forever be known as the guy who managed to get life in prison in the middle of an apocalypse.” You popped off and he looked a little hurt. “Sorry, that was a little bitchy.” You said as you flipped the pad closed and moved to the food slot and held out your hand for his empty bowl and spoon. He handed it to you, but didn’t let it go. You looked up at him a little annoyed. “You don’t like sharing, does Daryl?”

“You wish.” You scoffed and jerked the stuff out of his hand.

“You like me and you know it.” He said with a smile.

“You’re full of yourself and you know it.” You said back to him as you left him behind and locked the door to the basement on your way out.

Daryl stood talking to Michonne and a few other people across from the cell that Negan was in and you were aware of Negan’s eyes on you as you walked over to the group. Negan gritted his teeth when he saw Daryl’s arm slide around your waist. He lost again.