#some angst

⌗ ENJIN — “are you gonna tell me why? or just keep pretending you never knew me?”

he sees you from across the street. at first he thinks it’s someone who looks like you. maybe a trick of the light, maybe someone with your walk but not your weight, your shape but not your presence.

but it’s you. it’s you. and it hits him like a punch to the chest.

before he can stop himself, his body moves. his mouth opens. his voice finds you first.

“hey.”

you freeze mid-step. your back stiffens. he can practically see your spine go rigid, like you’d rather vanish into the sidewalk than turn around and see him.

“you just gonna keep walking?” he asks, quieter now.

you hesitate. just for a second. then you turn, slowly, as if each degree of movement costs you something.

he expects something maybe guilt, maybe surprise, maybe even regret but your expression is flat. unreadable. and somehow, that hurts worse.

he doesn’t know where to start. what to say. there’s too much. there always was.

“are you gonna tell me why?” he finally manages. “or are you just gonna keep pretending i never meant anything to you?”

your mouth opens calm, steady like you rehearsed this.

“there’s no ‘why’, enjin. i ended it. that’s all.”

he laughs, but it’s not amusement. it’s disbelief. a bitter exhale of everything he’s been holding onto.

“that’s not all,” he snaps, voice cracking despite himself. “you don’t just walk away from someone without saying a damn thing and call it ‘all.’”

he’s trying to keep his cool. trying to look like this doesn’t kill him. but he feels raw. like his ribs are showing. like you’re peeling him apart with every word.

you meet his eyes and it’s like looking at a stranger wearing your face.

“it was something,” you say. “now it’s not. there’s no ‘us’. there’s you. and there’s me. and that’s all it’ll ever be now.”

his breath catches.

you don’t wait for him to respond. you turn and walk away like nothing just shattered. he stands there, staring at the space where you were, hands clenched so tightly his nails dig into his palms. and for the first time in a long time, he doesn’t know what to do with his fire.

⌗ GRIS — “i still dream about you. and i wake up sick.”

he doesn’t call your name when he sees you. he just stands there, a few paces behind, watching your shoulders. the way they rise and fall as you walk. the same way they used to when you lay asleep beside him, safe and warm and his.

and then he says it. not loud. not urgent. just... truth.

“i still dream about you.”

you stop walking.

his voice cracks on the next part.

“i wake up sick.”

you turn, slowly, and the sight of your face punches the air from his lungs. he wants to believe it’s you. but the way you look at him… like he’s nothing but a memory you’d rather forget... that breaks him.

“gris,” you say, flat and empty.

he steps forward, holding his breath. “i don’t understand. i don’t know what i did.”

“you didn’t do anything,” you reply.

his eyebrows pull together. confusion bleeding into pain. “then why’d you leave me like that?”

your answer is cruel in how calm it is.

“because i wanted to. because i decided to. that’s all.”

he shakes his head, slowly, like he didn’t hear you right. “but we were—”

you cut him off.

“we’re nothing. not anymore. there’s no ‘us’. there’s just you, and me. separately. always.”

he stares at you for a long time.

and when he finally speaks again, his voice is so soft it might break.

“…was i the only one who thought it meant something?”

you don’t respond. you can’t. you already turned away.

and gris watches you go like someone watching the tide pull their last lifeline out to sea. he doesn’t move for a while. just presses a hand over his chest like he’s trying to hold the pieces in.

⌗ FOLLO — “just tell me you lied. please. even if you didn’t.”

you weren’t supposed to see him again.

you made peace with that. told yourself it was cleaner that way to end it without explaining, to walk away before he could ask you to stay.

but fate doesn’t care about closure.

and now, there he is, standing across from you on the sidewalk like it hasn’t been months. like your silence didn’t gut him.

he lights up when he sees you. just for a second. you can see it in his eyes that flicker of hope.

then he remembers. his steps slow, his smile falters, but he still walks up to you.

“hey,” he says, and it’s too soft, too familiar. “wow, um… i didn’t think i’d see you again.”

you force a nod. you don’t trust your voice.

“can we—can we talk?” he asks. “about us. about what happened. or didn’t happen, i guess.”

your throat tightens, but your words come out cold. “there is no ‘us’, follo.”

he blinks.

“…what?”

“there’s no you and me. not anymore. it’s over. it’s been over.”

he stares at you, and in that moment, he looks so lost. like a kid realizing home isn’t home anymore.

“so all of it… it was nothing to you?”

you look away. you hate this. you hate the way his voice shakes.

“i didn’t say that,” you murmur.

he takes a step closer. “then say something else. please. tell me it wasn’t real. lie to me. make it easier. i’ll believe you.”

you shake your head. he exhales, like he’s been punched in the stomach.

“got it,” he whispers.

he steps back. gives you one last look soft, broken, hollow.

It all began with a history lecture.

Professor Trein was going on and on (passionately, as always), about the Seven Great Sorcerers and the founding of the Queendom of Roses. Something-something ancient magic, something-something territorial disputes. You weren't sure. It all sounded like the dramatic backstory of an MMO.

You blinked down at your notes. You had written Queendom of Roses five times in a row, underlined one of them, and then - without fully realizing it - drawn an itty-bitty round-headed T-Rex beside the word. Your pencil hovered. You stared at the creation.

That was the moment you'd pinpoint.

The moment you realized you hadn't thought about dinosaurs or anything of the sort in weeks. Not a single pterodactyl. Not a single deinosuchus. Not a single Berthasaura leopoldinae. You used to be able to rattle off entire prehistoric eras like a party trick.

And now?

Now you were sitting in a gothic castle-school in another dimension, learning about long-dead magic monarchs, while wearing a uniform that quite literally had gold embroidery.

You raised your hand.

Trein, ever the professional, paused mid-sentence and looked up from his book. "Yes, Y/N?"

"Do you..." Your voice was very calm, very reasonable. "Do you know what dinosaurs are?" You waited for him to cause your world to crash down (and further cause you to crash out in the middle of a classroom, of all places).

The classroom fell silent. Deuce blinked at you from across the aisle. Ace looked up from where he was doodling something suspiciously inappropriate in the margins of his textbook. A few heads tilted. Professor Trein furrowed his brow.

"Dinosaurs?" He repeated.

You nodded solemnly. "Yeah. Y'know. Giant lizards? Extinct? Kind of a big deal where I'm from."

"I suppose you must be referring to the draconic species," Trein said slowly. "Dragons were once prominent in the Land of Briar, but-"

"No. No, no, no. Not dragons." You waved your hand. "They didn't have magic or fire-breathing. They just...ran around and roared and occasionally ate each other. Real chill. They had feathers sometimes. I think? And they're all dead. Very important part."

Trein blinked at you, confused. "I've never heard of such a creature."

You nodded again, eyes wide. "Yeah. That tracks. That definitely tracks."

And then you laughed.

It wasn't a cute laugh. Not a giggle. Certainly not a dainty little chuckle. No, it was a full-body, slightly breathless guffaw that escaped from your chest like it had been trying to get out for days. You slapped a hand over your mouth, horrified, but it was too late. The dam had burst. You were cracking up in the middle of lecture like a sitcom character who finally snapped.

"Oh my God," You wheezed, "I'm losing it. I'm actually going insane. This is my villain origin story."

Trein just looked tired.

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You didn't get detention, miraculously. (Trein may have chalked it up to "dimensional stress" and decided not to poke the hornet's nest).

But it was only the first domino in a long, long line.

The rest fell fairly quickly.

Later that day, at lunch, you tried to make a joke about TikTok and go blank stares from every single table. You had something dumb like "It's giving ✨depression✨" and the silence that followed was deafening.

Even Grim had paused mid-bite. "Giving what now?"

You wanted to scream. Instead, you chuckled weakly and pretended to choke on your food.

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"Do you ever," You muttered to Ace and Deuce one day while walking back from Alchemy, "make a really niche reference and then realize - oh. I'm all alone. No one here gets it. I'm never going to have a meme-based conversation again."

Ace shrugged. "You could just make a new meme?"

"That's not how that works!" You cried, clutching your textbook like a lifeline. "They're...they're communal! They're sacred!"

"Maybe you oughtta get used to the memes here then. Dunno what you're complaining about."

Deuce patted your back with a concerned frown. "Maybe you should take a nap."

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It would've been bearable, maybe, if you didn't keep catching yourself saying things no one understood.

Once, in P.E., you muttered, "I'd sell my soul for a Baja Blast right now," after running laps.

Cater turned to you. "What kind of spell is that?"

You nearly bit your tongue.

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There were good days, sure. Days when the chaos of NRC felt almost normal, the strange magic of the world you'd landed in had a fairytale charm. You even liked it sometimes. The floating candles, the enchanted mirror, the weirdly attractive student body (seriously, what on Earth was in the water here?).

But then something would happen - a throwaway line from a friend, a specific smell, a distant memory - and the homesickness would sucker-punch you in the gut.

You missed your old phone. You missed a steady flow of electricity. You missed your precious animes from back home. You missed complaining about anything and everything to your friends in your group chat at 2 in the bloody morning. You missed sending them cursed memes and sobbing over fictional characters they knew you'd been in love with since forever.

You missed feeling understood.

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You think the final straw was a joke.

Ace said something stupid and punny in class. Something about cauldrons and bad grades - classic Ace. Everyone laughed.

You didn't.

Not because it wasn't funny. You figured maybe it was. Surely it had to be, with the reaction of your classmates. But you didn't get it.

You didn't understand the slang. The reference. The cultural context.

So you just sat there, frozen in place, smile tight and fake, and your laughter coming out a few seconds too late.

You felt weirdly hollow.

Not the dramatic, tragic kind of hollow. Just the kind where something that should've made you feel warm instead made you feel like a cracked mug. Still functioning. Still upright. But leaking a little.

And of course, Professor Trein noticed.

He didn't say anything at first, just gave you a quiet, thoughtful look before resuming the lecture. You sat up straighter. Tried to look attentive.

But even so, at the end of class, while everyone packed up their books and filtered out of the room in clusters of laughter and inside jokes, Trein called your name.

"Y/N," He said, tone gentle enough that you flinched a little.

You turned, your bag slung over one shoulder. "Yes, Professor?"

"If you're not in a rush," He said, adjusting his glasses, "would you...care to join me for tea this afternoon?"

You blinked. "Oh. Uh. Sure. Is this - like - a detention-in-disguise kind of tea or...?"

He chuckled softly. "No punishment involved, I assure you."

So that was how you found yourself, after classes ended, sitting in the most scholarly little office you'd ever seen, across a worn oak desk from Professor Trein, with two steaming teacups between you.

Grim of course, had no reason to be there, so it was just you, Trein, and Lucius - who sat on the windowsill like a furry, judgemental gargoyle.

Trein poured your tea and added a sugar cube to his own with great precision. His movements reminded you greatly of Vil.

"I find," He said slowly, "that I don't understand half the things my students say anymore."

You blinked.

"They speak in riddles," He continued, "about things I cannot begin to visualize. They once referred to something as 'mid." I assumed it meant middling, perhaps average. But then I was told - by Ruggie, I believe - that it was an insult?"

You snorted. "Oh, yeah. 'Mid' is like the fancy new word for 'meh.' A good way to start a fight in a cafeteria."

Trein's eyes twinkled. "Yes. Precisely. I've taught for nearly four decades and still find myself utterly baffled by whatever new linguistic virus has infected the student body."

You laughed - genuinely, this time.

"I don't get any of their references either," You admitted. "But, like...from the opposite direction. I say stuff and they look at me like I've sprouted wings."

Trein leaned back in his chair. "I did wonder about your question in class earlier this week. About...dinosaurs, was it?"

"Oh my god, yes!" You set your teacup down. "They don't know what dinosaurs are, Professor. Dinosaurs! Like - prehistoric lizards! We have museums about them! They've made animated movies!

"Fascinating," He said, and it was clear he meant it.

"They thought I was talking about dragons," You muttered, sinking in your chair. "I nearly cried."

Trein's mouth quirked into a small smile. "It must be terribly isolating."

Your shoulders tensed. "Sometimes I don't feel like a person here. I feel like a joke. Like a weird little artifact that fell out of some ancient time machine and nobody's quite sure how to categorize."

"You're not a joke," He said, kind but firm. "You're someone trying to survive in a world that was no built for you."

That hit you right in the gut.

Lucius lept off the windowsill and sidled your leg, promptly resting his head near your foot. You sipped your tea quietly for a moment.

"...Thanks," You said, voice a little hoarse. "I think I needed to hear that."

He nodded, then tilted his head, thoughtful. "Would you be willing to tell me more about your world?"

You blinked. "Wait, really?"

"I may be old, but I've always valued learning," He said. "And you're a living library of knowledge we've never had access to before."

You grinned. "Okay, then. Where do I start?"

You ended up talking until the sun dipped low in the sky. You explained your version of the internet, social media, reality TV, electric cars, and theme parks. You showed him how memes worked. You drew a rough sketch of a dinosaur. You explained your favorite movies, and how music was streamed, and how cooking shows were a national obsession. Trein took notes with the fascinated curiosity of someone rediscovering the joy of being a student.

He, in turn, told you stories about past generations of students. About how the slang used to be different even back then, about the way magic has changed, and about the first time Lucius clawed someone in the middle of class for disrespecting history.

You both laughed a lot.

You scratched Lucius behind his ears for a bit, allowing the soft purrs to lull you further into your feelings. The conversation was exactly what you needed. As you left his office, you heard him say, "You are more than welcome to come to me for anything you may need. I am more than willing to explain the ways of this world to you so that you may pass your classes."

As you walked back to your dorm, the castle halls a little quieter, a little softer in the dimming light, you didn't feel so lonely.

Not everyone got you.

But someone was trying.

And for now...that was more than enough.

Author's Note: I'd just like to say that I genuinely think that Twisted Wonderland had dinosaurs and that their existence has long been known worldwide, etc. I like to further think that modern-day dragons (as rare as they may be) are descendants of old-day dinosaurs and that they somehow magically evolved into dragons. Having said that, I thought it would be admittedly funnier if the Reader found out that the people of Twisted Wonderland don't know anything about dinosaurs, and they crash out because of it. So, I went with that for this story!

"Hey, MC, you ok?" Ace asks.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine," you tell him.

He gives you a look but doesn't push it, instead going back to his class work. You try to do yours but you can't focus. You're so tired. You haven't been sleeping well as every night you've been having nightmare after nightmare about your friends dying, the overblots, the school crumbling, and it's all your fault. That's the thing they all have in common, that everything crumbled, everyone died, everything went wrong all because you didn't stop it. But, you can't focus on that right now, your problems aren't anything compared to what your friends are going through. So, every morning you put on a smile and act as if you're not being tortured by you own brain every time you go to sleep at night.

Grim sits next to you, helping you do the work while sitting in your lap. You pet him absentmindedly, causing him to purr happily. It makes you a bit sleepy, and given that alongside the nightmares you're also running out of money, you're just so tired. But, you have to keep it together. You have to hold out just a little bit longer. As you work you see Deuce struggling, so you help him and it takes so long that you now might need to do this work for homework. So, when you're done help him you go back to your work only for Epel to need your help, so you help him, then Ace. By the time your done helping Ace class is over and you've gotten less then half the assignments done. But, it doesn't matter, you helped your friends and that feeling is the best in the world.

"Then why do I feel a bit lousy. Whatever, my friends are the best and they're the best parts of my day!" You tell yourself.

So, you got to your next class, alchemy, and get paired up with Ace and Deuce, as usual. So you keep your smile up while trying to keep Ace and Grim from fighting and thus messing up while also keeping Deuce from getting distracted. But that didn't happen, the potion made a mess while Ace and Grim were throwing each other under the bus while Professor Crewel just stares at your table. You take a deep breath and help in the clean up, but on the inside you're screaming at their stupidity. But, no matter it was only an accident and at least you get to try this potion again.

"OK, you three just hand me ingredients and read the recipe off the board and I'll do everything else," you tell them.

They complain, and Ace is upset you think he's incapable. So you tell him you just want to help out in anyway you can without having magic. That seems to work well enough and they follow your plan. By the time class is over your group has a somewhat acceptable potion. The bell rings and you all rush to lunch. You count your money and realize you only have enough for one lunch, so if you get a big one both you and Grim can split it. Then you get into line and see some poor kid is short for his lunch. So, you give him what he's missing, leaving you with only enough for one small meal, which would only be enough for either you or Grim.

"Grim needs it more then me," you tell yourself as you buy that single meal.

You and Grim sit at your normal table and you set the tray down in front of him. He digs in and you watch your friends chat and laugh, just trying to stay awake. No one asks about you not eating, almost like they don't see you. You feel so, so tired that you lay your head on the table and try to get a quick nap in. So, you close your eyes, and fall asleep to your own heart beat. It's slow, but not very strong nor very weak, just average. You don't dream of anything, all you see is darkness and a single, blinking flame the moves in sync with the beat of your heart. You run towards the light but it keeps moving further and further away as you slowly sink with each step you ta-

"MC! Wake up! Lunch is over," a voice yells.

You blink awake and see Ruggie standing over you. You yawn, rub your eyes, and get up to go to your next class. As you leave he grabs your wrist and asks you if something is wrong, and you lie, telling him that you're just a bit tired.

"Are you sure?" He asks, his tone full of worry.

"I'm sure. I just think I'll take a nap after school," you tell him.

He makes you swear a joking promise that you won't be like Leona and nap during class. You laugh and promise, rushing to class so you won't be late. Once in class it goes like thw others, you help others and you don't get much done yourself, though this time you end up agreeing to tutor some kids in your dorm. So, when the day is done a few first years come over and you spend most of the afternoon helping them the best you can. By the time they leave you are tired physically and mentally, but you have to keep your grades up so you sit at your desk and focus on nothing but finishing your homework.

"You've bee here for houuurs, how about you take a break and make some dinner," Grim says.

OK, I'llbe right there Grim," you yell back.

You drag yourself to the kitchen and make dinner, a bowl of tuna for Grim and ramen in a cup for you. You go back up to your room and to your desk to finish your homework, telling yourself you'll eat the ramen later. Later never comes as by the time you finish your homework your ramen has gone ice cold. So, you tell Grim he can have it. He eagerly digs in while you get the stuff you need for tomorrow ready. Once that's done you get ready for bed, catching your reflection in the slightly dusty mirror. Your eyes are dull with dark bags under them that stand out against the unhealthy pallor of your skin. You start to hear Vil's voice in your head, scolding you for neglecting your looks like this. Your hands tighten their grip on the sink as the voice in your head gets louder and until you swear he's in the room with you.

"JUST SHUT UP!" You scream as you throw a bottle of cleanser at the mirror.

It doesn't shatter as the bottle bounces off of it and into the sink. One of the ghosts, the skinny one, asks if you're ok. You lie and tell him you're fine. He keeps pushing because he heard you screaming. You lie again, tell him you were just tired and needed some sleep.

"If you say so," he says, reluctant to believe you.

You take a series of deep breathes, happy that the voice in your head is gone. You finish your routine and get into bed, knocking out the moment your head hits the pillow. Once your eyes are shut you see NRC in ruins as Leona's overblot runs wild, turning everyone and everything into sand. You can only watch as your friends all blow away in wind while Leona cackles and says that it's your fault for getting in his way. You try to yell back but your throat is so full of sand you can barely breath, nevermind beg. He hops down from the roof of the crumbling school and grabs your neck, laughing as you start to choke and cough up sand.

"Awwww, poor littler herbivore. Let me help you!" He says.

He grabs your neck and starts squeezing as hard as he can. Your vision goes dark before you hear a single, deafing SNAP!

You shoot up, clutching your chest and coughing. Grim wakes up slightly, asking what's wrong. You tell him you just had a bad dream and that he can go back yo sleep. With a yawn he agrees and gets back into a comfortable curl. You can't join him. All you can do is look around your dark room and get up out of bed, like you've been doing for almost two weeks now. You grab your jacket and creep down the squeaking stairs to the front door where your shoes are. You put them on, unlock the door, and walk outside. You wander around Ramshackle's slowly recovering grounds, looking at the things you and your friends have added to make it beautiful. Then you remember the dream, and as you look at the place you call home it starts to crumble into sand before your eyes. You go to touch it and are brought back to reality when you feel wood under your fingertips instead of sand.

"Maybe a walk with calm me down," you say to yourself.

You leave Ramshackle's grounds and start wandering the paved paths of Night Raven as the cool night air runs through your hair and the full moon captures you in it's light. You start to relax, just a little when you start to hear voices again, your friends, your teachers, your peers, all scolding you for somwthing you did wrong, for how you're not helping enough. You don't do anything, but stand there and listen to the voices as they call you "heartless", "lazy", "sefish", "useless", and every other hurtful name in the book. You don't try to tell yourself thw voices are wrong, because you know that deep down, the voices are probably right, maybe you are just awful and only pretending to be nice when I truth you hate them all and want to be rid of Ace, Deuce, Grim, and everyone at this school!

The gentle sounds of night birds brings you back to reality and drowns out the voices, if only for a moment. You continue walking the all too familiar paths to their ends, turn back, and go down another path to it's end, repeatign this process over and over until you've walked every path. Now, you're back where you started just as dawn's first light is dorwned out by rainclouds. You get inside, take off your jacket and shoes, and try to keep yourself busy until you have to actually get ready for school. You go up to your room and take one of the many thrift store books you've bought, a story that is basically Sherlock Holmes but mice and rats, and begin to read it. You read until your alarm goes off. You place a bookmark in your book, turn off your alarm, and wake up Grim before you go to the bathroom to get ready. He yawns and complains but you keep going, putting on your smiling mask.

"Come on, I'll make you breakfast," you tell Grim.

He smiles and gets up properly. You grab your school bag and go downstairs to kitchen, where you make breakfast for you a Grim, making sure Grim is well fed while giving yourself only a hard boiled egg and toast piece with butter. You both eat, with you focusing more on trying to stay awake, but it's hard. When plates are clean, you both leave the dorm and go to school and while Grim is well rested you're just trying not to pass out. You try to remind yourself to hold it together but the voices from last night come back so loudly that you can't hear the world around you. You stop by a vending machine and buy an energy drink, downing it in the hope that you stay awake, just like you've been doing ever since the nightmares started.

The day goes on as normal, helping others until you have no time to do your own work all while the voices keep berating you for every little thing you do and the moment, you think about venting to your friends, the voices keep saying "they have enough to worry about. You don't want to be a burden." No matter what you do the voices would stop, not as you walk to the locker rooms, or change into your gym clothes, and not even when you join your gym class on the field as Coach Vargas explains what you'll be doing, which is basically magic dodgeball. Though, it doesn't matter what the class is doing because you're so tired you're barely in the game, which is kind of annoying the more competitive memebers of your team. As you stumble out of the way of a ball you run into Jamil, hard. You two hit heads, causing him to stumble just enough to for Ace to get him out. He gets up, and you apologize and he doesn't say anything. For all you know he could just be tired or not in a talking mood, but his lack of response fuels the voices.

"Look at what you did! You got him out because you were too stupid to pay attention!"

"Are you slow or something?"

"You ruined this for him!"

"Why do you ruin everything?"

"Who would care about someone as useless as you?"

"If you helped them instead of being a fuck up maybe they would actually love you!"

The voices don't stop. At the same time your body starts to shake and your heart races. You keep standing, trying to keep steady as you dodge the balls being thrown at you but it's getting harder and harder until you eventually fall to the ground as your knees give out. You don't know how long you were out for, all you remember is waking up to Coach Vargas looking down at up from above while holding a juice box for you to drink from. You don't know what's happening, but you can hear your classmates talking and looking worried. You keep telling them you're fine.

"Bullshit! You passed out and almost cracked your head open!" Ace yells.

You try to speak but he interrupts you, laying out how you've been acting werid and everyone's noticed. Deuce steps in, then Silver, Epel, Riddle, Jack, Jade, and every one of your friends there lays out how they're worried about you and that they want you to just tell them. But you hold strong, standing up and telling them that you're fine, just a bit tired. But the group closes it, asking you to tell them what's going on and that you can tell them anything.

The day goes on, and during lunch you notice that something wet is running down your cheeks. You wipe what you think are tears or sweat, but it's not normal. The part of the sleeve you used to wipe is now stained black and in a panic you grab a napkin and scrub it off but it won't go away, so you do your best to hide it.

The next few days have the nightmares getting worse and black liquid running from your eyes and staining your clothes and anything else it touches. Your thoughts also start to drift to dark places, like when you see Crowley in the hall you start to wonder how it would feel to kill him. You think about how easy it could be, all you would need to do is ambush him and wrap you hands around his lying little neck!

"MC, you ok?" Grim asks.

"Yeah, why?" You ask.

"You're... ummm... strangling that pillow," he says, choosing his words carefully.

You let go of the pillow and laugh it off. Grim is nervous, but he doesn't say anything else. But you can't stop those thoughts, the idea to murder Crowley in his own office, beheading Riddle, drowning Leona in his own sand, getting rid of everything that's made your life hell here! But you talk yourself out of it, or you try to at least.

Your friends can tell something is wrong. You're barely eating, you look like hell, and they can see the black stains blooming on your papers, clothes, and cheeks. But you keep acting like nothing is wrong. Until one day, during Alchemy you're so tired you make a mistake and get hurt, ending up in the nurse's office. You look at your injury and start mumbling about how you deserved it, for being so dumb as to make a mistake like that. As you walk back to class you start to see things, shadows moving in ways they should. You try to ignore them but something compiles you to touch them and when you do, you hand sinks in like water. You quickly pull your hand back and run to class, unaware that everyone else just saw you touch a random wall.

When school is over ypu wander back to Ramshackle, open your door, and see all your friends crammed into your parlor, all looking worried. You ask them why they're there and Riddle takes charge, explaining that they're worried about you. You tell them you're fine but Leona cuts you off, telling you to stop lying.

"I'm not lying, guys. Come on, you know me. I've just been a little tired is all. Now, I have homework to do," you tell them.

You walk towards the stairs but Jack uses his form to block you while Vil leads you back to their makeshift intervention circle. They keep asking questions and you keep telling them that all you need is a goodnight sleep but they won't stop. They all beg and plead with you to just tell them, reassuring you that you can tell them anything and everything. You clench your fists and keep talking in a tone that sounds almost robotic as you repeat over and over that you're ok. Everyone is getting frustrated that this is going nowhere, until Kalim speaks up.

"We're worried. If somethings bothering you... You can tell us anything," he says in a gentle tone.

"It's not that easy you arrogant little... You know what, I don't have to deal with this!" You yell.

You stand up so fast you knock the chair they made you sit in over. More black liquid comes out of your eyes as you storm over to jack and order him to More. He holds firm as Kalim, Jamil, Ace, Deuce, and Ortho surround you. Trey tells you to stop running and let them help you. You turn on him and they freeze at the sight of the black liquid coming from not just your eyes, but also your nose. It doesn't move like water but oozes out like blood, falling to the floor and staining it. Grim moves closer, asking you about the blackness oozing out of you. With a smile that's cold and lifeless you tell them that they're making a big deal out of nothing and that the lack of sleep is just making your brain a bit fuzzy.

"Have I been a bit of a mess, yeah, but that's the life of a student. Sure, I made a mess in alchemy today. I've been staying up late with homework and other stuff, what teenager hasn't. I had a little bit of self doubt, that's pretty much required, it would be werid if I didn't, I mean we've all had those thoughts, right? And sure maybe I've had a few not so nice thoughts about killingcrowleyandeverysinglepersonhereinagonizinglypainfulways, but I didn't actually go through with it!"

The room goes dead silent at your admission. No one says anything because what can you say after your friend admits that they've thought about killing you and everyone else in painful ways. Looks of shock and fear are shared between your friends while the black liquid keeps oozing down your face from your eyes and nose. Grim, being brave, steps closer to you

"You... you're joking right? You're just screwing around with us, right?" He asks.

"Yeah... Yeah I'm just joking! I'm not actually serious! I mean, why would I be when it's not my place! I take care of everything while you get to joke around forever and never have to face your problems again so long as I'm here to help!" You shout, smiling but sounding like you're only one step away from madness.

Grim steps closer, saying your name. But you stop him, your tone shifting from insane to anger in a split second as you yell and stomp and throw things around, yelling about how every single one of them thinks you're the one who knows what to do, the one with the plan, the one who's always there even when it's hard! But it's not true! As the black liquid oozes faster and faster you keep shouting and screaming that every adventure you've had, every overblot you've helped fix hasn't taught you anything! You haven't learned anything from this place or the problems they have other then that you don't matter to them, that they only care about you because it means you'll help them!

"That's not true! We care about you! You love you!" Grim yells.

"You're lying! You don't love me! YOU CAN'T LOVE ME! NO ONE CAN LOVE USELESS I'M HELPING THEM! IF I WASN'T DOING THAT ALL OF YOU WOULD LEAVE ME!" You scream.

The others try to calm you down but you keep yelling and throwing things until you black out, as the black liquid stains your skin, and your friends watch in horror as it engulfs you. Overblot. This wasn't supposed to happen. You don't have magic! Why are you doing this? How are you doing this? Ace grabs Grim as the bubble of blot bursts and your giant form rips through the front of Ramshackle, marching towards the school. The teachers and students in the school and dorms see you, towering over everyone and everything. The students run and hide while the teachers and Crowley go to stop you. You friends are not to far behind, running towards your corrupted form.

When they reach you they yell for the teachers to stand down. Confused, Crowley asks why and Grim tells them that the giant monster of blot, is you. Crowley and the teachers look up with wide eyes, the kid they all saw as theirs in one way or another is now this... creature. Everyone starts trying to hold you back with magic while they yell your name and try to get ypu to hear them. All they get in response is graggled, monsterous shrieking. Grim watches with tears in his eyes, crying at seeing his best friend in this state.

"We need to reach them. We need to bring them back to their humanity! Remind them they're not alone!" Azul yells.

"You know who'd be great at that? MC!" Ace yells.

You almost crush them under your massive foot while struggling. The magic keeping you trapped is fading fast as even Crowley struggles to hold you in place. Professor Crewel tries to shrink you down to a manageable size, but you shake off his magic as if it were only a fly. Next is Sam, who tries to put you to sleep, but all that does is make you angrier. Finally, Crowley tries to enter your mind, only to be overwhelmed to the point he falls to his knees. Jack rushes over and helps left him, asking him what he saw.

"MC's not there anymore," he says, staring at the thing in front of him.

You let out a deafing scream that breaks the magic holding you and makes everyone cover their ears and drop to the ground. Malleus recovers quickly and uses his briars to try and hold you, knowing this won't work forever. As people get back up, they just stare, having no idea what to do but feeling that somewhere, deep inside the blot covered monster is you, angry, and scared at them, at yourself, at everything that's happened to you.

"I knew something was wrong. Why didn't I do something?" Ace asks under his breath.

Grim asks nervously what would happen if they can't reach you, and Crowley is frank we he says that then, the Arcane Response Unit will have to be called, and given your state they'll probably have to kill you. Tears invades the eyes of everyone when they hear that. They can't stomach the thought of you having to be killed and for what? Because you were upset? Because they didn't try hard enough? It's not fair! Ace yells that Grim should run back to Ramshackle and hide until this is over.

"No! Every time overblot stuff happens I run or they have to protect me! They're right to be angry because I never did the same for them!" Grim shouts as tears fall from his eyes.

"You didn't protect them, from us. We're the reason they're like this," Riddle said, wiping his tears.

Azul, Jamil, Leona, everyone who's overblot you had to help defeat nods in agreement. If they hadn't done the things they did them you wouldn't feel like you have to manage their feelings. Azul, sniffles and wipes his tears, saying that they're the reason MC was suffering for so long. Jamil starts sobbing, saying that it's mostly his fault your this way and Kalim, with tears of his own, starts saying it's not. Jamil argues back that he was the one who, during his overblot, planned to mind control everyone but them so they would lose everyone they ever cared about. Kalim argues that Jamil only did that because Kalim was a bad friend. Everyone else starst piling on how they're actually responsible for this mess because of what they've done to you.

"Yes! You've all fucked up! You've all hurt them! But we don't have time for this pity party bullshit! Maybe MC would care about how sad you are because they care about all of us more them they care about themselves! But they don't do that for us because they need us because the only one in this entire school and beyond who's never had MC, is MC! They're always there for us but now, we need to be there for them!" Grim shouts.

Everyone wipes their eyes, their souls full of hope. Riddle quickly takes charge, telling Professor Crewel to make him as big as you are. Professor Crewel nods and makes Riddle as large as you are while Riddle tells Crowley to lift everyone up while they get in line. You gaint form breaks through the briars and charges the group with thunderous footsteps. They all run away a bit until Malleus catches you again. Once in place Riddle, now gaint, rushes towards you and wraps his arms around you in a tight hug.

"When I fell apart you were there for me. I'm here for you now. I'm here, MC. We're all right here," he says gently.

Lilia, who was using magicbto make himself fly, zooms over to you and hugs you as best he can. Sam, Professor Crewel, Coach Vargas, and Professor Trein join in as well. Next are the tweels, and Ace, and Deuce, and everyone Crowley was lifting with his magic before he joins as well

"I'm here, baby bird. Whatever you need while your here, I'll make it happen! You hear me!" Crowley yells as tears roll down his cheeks as he remembers all the shit he's put you through.

"I know how it feels to think you're unloveable! But it's possible because you're more then worthy of love!" Vil joins in with his own tears.

One after another shares what's they feel, how they're know sorry won't fix anything but they want to help, they want to apologize for every time they treated you like a tool instead of a friend. For everything they've done that's hurt you or made you feel like you're not allowed to be human, not allowed to feelupset, or tired, or anything that means you're human! The monster that was once you starts to make noises, almost as if you can hear them. You movement slows until you're just standing there, not struggling, not attacking, just there. Riddle lets go, for only a moment to let Grim jump into his hand. Riddle carries Grim up, and places him on your head. You don't try to get rid of Grim and for moment, everything is quiet.

"MC... I should've said this a lot more often, but thank you for being my friend, for seeing the real me and I'm sorry, we all are, for making you scared to let us see the real you because we made it feel like it was your job. That's not friendship, and now, it's time we finally return the favor. We'll take care of you, the same way you take care of us," he says softly.

He curls up on his spot on your head, and starts purring. No one says anything, they just hug you tight, hoping this will work. All you can do, in this giant, monstrous form, is cry, not ink, not blot, just normal, salty tears. As the tears fall, so do chunks of hardened blot. The picese and tears crash to the ground and every hugging you can feel your form getting smaller and smaller until you're back to normal, if unconscious. Professor Crewel shrinks Riddle back down and someone checks on Grim. Once it's confirmed that he is ok, Grim curls up on your chest and purrs softly.

You open your tears filled eyes eventually and look around at all the destruction that was caused. You start to panic but Grim interrupts you by rubbing against your face. With tears still flowing you sit up and hug him close while laughing. Everyone watches, everyone's just happy your back, fixing the damage can wait.

"How do you feel?" Crowley asks softly.

"Like I wanna sleep for a week," you tell him.