#darkcustard

--PROPAGANDA--

DarkCustard: - Big Coat Yaoi - The enemies ever until☝️they Talk - [anon propaganda]

I'm usually heavy on BitterSpice/BurningCacao propaganda but seeing that someone else submitted them, I am going a step lower into the shipping abysm. Here comes this Absolute rare-borderline-crack-pair:

Dark Cacao Cookie x Custard Cookie

(((It's not Custard The III is the racist old white guy. Just to clarify)))

Here are my points as to ship them:

Enemies To Lovers, or even Enemy Lovers if You like drama and tension.

Custard being a racist cookie and Dark Cacao being about honor is a fuel to ignite very dramatic takes on them

Let's be real Custard would only get THAT close to Dark Cacao because he wants a powerful ally and the chance to get a whole Soul Jam for himself.

Political Toxic Yaoi

None of them wants to be 'below the other', so Top x Top

Think about the dramatic undertones if Dark Cacao catches feelings first and then we have a one-sided crush and one-sided pining

Ok, let's stop thinking about drama, let's go to some angst. They both have nightmares and unnatended PTSD/Trauma about the Dark Flour War so they can bond over it.

Speaking about their families is complicated

Lack of proper communication

Custard is thinking about his very long years and wants to spend more time with Cacao, even if it means stealing his Soul Jam to be young and strong again.

Now finally the fluffy side. Both of them spend the night awake together either working or relaxing.

If one has nightmares, the other comforts them

They became very open about their feelings after a long, long time

Top Cacao

Very affective in closed doors

Custard tones down his bad behavior and Dark Cacao is less lonely now.

No marriage, just two old grumpy mans acting like boyfriends.

Zoned out and came back to find this on my scratch paper at work. They’re not enjoying themselves. Big Coat Yaoi real

Bonding over shared trauma <3 plus imagine. One of them has a nightmare and sits up, only to see the other beside him and relax (and there was only one bed). Mmmmmnyes this is a good plan.

Imaginary fic excerpt from my brain:

The stars were bright as he looked up at them, coiffed hair shifting slightly in the nighttime breeze. From behind him came the sound of Dark Cacao’s steady snore. Their anniversary was tomorrow. A year since they had more-or-less become... "boyfriends". The ring he had been gifted glinted in the moonlight, and Custard tried not to think about it. It didn’t work very well. The past year had left marks on the man; smile lines around his eyes, wrinkles in his hands where they had held Dark Cacao’s… who hadn’t changed. Immortality for those you love is fantastic until you realize that they’ll outlive you. Custard lets out a heavy sigh, absentmindedly twisting the ring as he shifts his weight from foot to foot. It would be easy, laughably so, to steal the other’s soul jam. Dark Cacao trusted the politician with his life - for better or worse. He could be young again. At the price of the man behind him. Just a note, and he could be gone. Custard does not steal the soul jam that night. He heads back to bed, pretending that he will live forever.

• The original kingdom from where Pure Vanilla Cookie, Custard Cookie and Premier Custard Cookie was called Pure Orchid Kingdom. It was destroyed by Dark Enchantress Cookie

• Dark Enchantress Cookie is White Lily Cookie's mother in this AU

• While the cookies from the Pure Orchid Kingdom were settling somewhere else Pure Vanilla Cookie and the rest of the Ancient Heroes is often summoned by his cousin to act like boduguards.

• Custard Cookie is a spoiled brat trying to uphold his royal lineage.

• Dark Cacao Cookie and him hated eachother at first, but they developed love for eachother. They became a couple of young adults with their ups and downs.

So this is how DarkCustard A.K.A GrumpyShip works:

•Mostly political until tension makes them make out messily

•Custard Cookie is very envious of Dark Cacao's physical state and handsomeness despite being +300 years old probably.

•Custard Cookie is actively trying to steal the Soul Jam, or at least have a shard for himself.

•Dark Cacao is fortunately oblivious to this last bit, if not, strawberry jam would have spilled a long time ago

•He finds this old politic man quite troublesome and irritable, but he has to bear with him for the sake of diplomacy

•He sometimes admires that clever head full of evil plans that benefits only Custard himself.

•All of this started because Custard proposed Clotted Cream for an arranged wedding with someone of high stand in the Dark Cacao Kingdom. Went there by himself after being rejected in a very direct way (by Dark Cacao nonetheless)

•They are both tsunderes at their finest. Which causes comical situations, tension, and drama easily avoided if they COMMUNICATED LIKE NORMAL COOKIES

•They make out on desks. It's a weird thing they have going on. I wanna write a fic about it so badlyyyyy