THE MAN WHO OUT-CRIMES THE CRIMINALS
(aka: Gotham’s newest nightmare is Batman’s personal aneurysm trigger)
Dante “Dan” Nightingale has too many titles and absolutely zero chill: Avenger of the Damned. Embodiment of Insanity. Guardian of Inevitability. Reincarnated Echo of Fallen Empires and Murdered Tyrants.
And unfortunately for Gotham, he finally decides to live up to all of them.
After Lady Gotham sends yet another stack of death reports—Joker kills again, a rogue massacres civilians again, the usual Tuesday—Dan snaps. Or… un-snaps? Re-snaps? It’s hard to tell with him.
Point is: He decides to actually avenge the damned.
Which, in Dan-language, translates to:
Kill. Every. Major. Rogue. Personally.
And oh boy, does he start speedrunning Gotham’s villain population like he’s farming XP.
The Bats notice immediately.
The Problem?
They can never prove anything.
Dan appears where a big rogue dies, but:
• No murder weapon • No fingerprints • No DNA • All cameras fried • All witnesses mysteriously unconscious • Dan looks like he just walked out of a shampoo commercial featuring blood-resistant boots
They even tried turning him in to Gordon a few times—Dan just ends up walking out on bail with a “😊” like the world’s most smug eldritch golden retriever.
Batman is losing YEARS off his lifespan. The rest of the Batfam? Meh. Jason? Jason has a crush the size of Arkham Asylum and could not care less.
Worst of all?
Dan knows. He knows exactly how much it drives Batman up the walls. And he leans into it like it’s a competitive sport.
Scene of the Year:
Batman: You just killed Scarecrow.
Dan—standing in a puddle of fresh, warm, unmistakable Scarecrow blood: “No I didn’t."
Batman: You’re literally STANDING in his blood.
Dan: “Show me one piece of proof that I killed him and I’m not just an unlucky civilian standing in what I believed was red Kool-Aid.”
Batman: Why would you stand in Kool-Aid?!
Dan: “Why are you judging my hobbies, furry?”
Jason, from the shadows: “He’s got a point.”
@graveyard-espresso
