Jun 15, 2024
i had an unwanted and unexpected therapy session while playing a video game and had to take a break to think about why i still have those thoughts and if i can ever be rid of them. i know i romanticized the suffering and heartbreak and loneliness i felt, my own martyrdom, even now when i no longer feel it. i dreamt of my fears (i keep a log of those kinds of dreams and really it’s been almost a year since i had one of those) and today i interacted with someone irl who almost made me slip back into my old personality. it was all so easy.
