Daniel D. Dalton (Aftermath AU / Monster of the Week) Toyhou.se | Art Fight

A borderline-misanthropic, C-List actor employed as a drama teacher at U██████ University. Dalton is best known for playing a doctor on a terrible paranormal medical drama that's quality level can best be described as "if Garth Marenghi's Darkplace wasn't an intentional spoof". His character Dr. Lockjaw contains about as much testosterone as one can fit into a labcoat.

Dalton is psychic, albeit in the crappiest possible way. He can feel people's thoughts but not what they're thinking - essentially a permanent radar pinging him on their locations at all times. It's not the most useful skill, but it comes in handy for his secret second job as a paranormal investigator.

Hard for werewolves to get the drop on you when you can feel them coming.

Very fit for his age, does all his own stunts for the show. Some of them backfired, including that time a piano fell on his head. (He walked that off pretty quick, much to the confusion of the paramedics.) Has had to start writing some of his own scripts since the writers went on strike - but luckily he has no shortage of real monster-fighting anecdotes to work into this paranormal medical drama.

Brilliant Words You Didn’t Know You Needed

Photo: Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed / unsplash.com / Via urbandictionary.com

Continuing on the subject of words, you may have heard me say now and again how I marvel at the beauty and flexibility of the English language.

So why aren’t these beauties found on BuzzFeed part of our everyday conversations already?

Errorist (n) Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes, or is always wrong

Carcolepsy (n) A…

RT @wordsbydan: I’m about to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 for the first time… here we go. #finallywatchingHP

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Oh hai Bill Nighy! #finallywatchingHP

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“Obliviate” #finallywatchingHP

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Severus Snape Comes To Dinner #finallywatchingHP

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Voldemort softly stroking Luscious Locks’ wand #finallywatchingHP

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Ooh Fleur Delacourt. Bill Weasley you sly dog #finallywatchingHP

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Mundungus seems entirely trustworthy and reliable. #finallywatchingHP

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We need more Potters… Pottermore you might say. #finallywatchingHP

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Ooh crumbs. It’s a trap. #finallywatchingHP

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Well that’s what you get for messing with other people’s wands. Silly Voldemort. #finallywatchingHP

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I’m already on the verge of tears. #finallywatchingHP

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RIP Mad-Eye #finallywatchingHP

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“We have to find the Horcruxes.. where are they? Where do we start?” – Ron, on plot duty #finallywatchingHP

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GUYS IS HEDWIG DEAD NOW TOO? OR JUST INJURED?! #finallywatchingHP

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What! Oh no. RIP Hedwig. GODDAMN YOU, ROWLING! #finallywatchingHP

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Won’t somebody please think of the owls. #finallywatchingHP

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Billious #finallywatchingHP

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Harry like a kid on Christmas who got a shit present. “A fucking snitch? Tha fuck?” #finallywatchingHP

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BREAKING: Hey ESA imma let you finish but Michael Bay landed a spaceship on a comet 15 years ago. #CometLanding

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Sorry I got interrupted because we just landed a spacecraft on a comet. What a rude interruption to #finallywatchingHP

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Rhys Ifans! Brilliant casting #finallywatchingHP

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“You’re amazing you are” “I think you mean I’m fucking fabulous.” #finallywatchingHP

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“Stupify” sounds like “super-fly” and I’m wondering what that spell would do #finallywatchingHP

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Oooh I was right about RAB being Sirius’ brother! Yay for me #finallywatchingHP

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Kreacher is like the drunk racist uncle that your parents don’t invite round for dinner anymore #finallywatchingHP

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Nothing makes the blood boil quite like an Umbridge giggle. #finallywatchingHP

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Dobby! #finallywatchingHP

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Plot juice potion! It’s like mission impossible. Except with more toilets. #finallywatchingHP

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I’m sure there was a Ministry meeting about the toilet entrance at some point “Yes it’s whimsical, but is it practical?” #finallywatchingHP

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*Hums the Mission Impossible theme* #finallywatchingHP

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Ooh Ron got f*cked up. #finallywatchingHP

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“Are we out of the woods yet?” “Don’t be stupid, Harry, we just got here.” #finallywatchingHP

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Horcruxes: Harder to destroy than Nokia phones. Maybe they should smash it with a 3310 #finallywatchingHP

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We have arguments like that about the radio in the BuzzFeed office #finallywatchingHP

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So wearing the evil object around your neck makes you cranky and mean… hmm. #WhatWouldFrodoDo #finallywatchingHP

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Currently: Fields #finallywatchingHP

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“Actually I’m highly logical, which allows me to overlook extraneous details. But I’m also fabulous it’s true.” #finallywatchingHP

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“You don’t know how this feels! Your parents are dead. And you’re really short. So there!” #finallywatchingHP

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Malham Cove! All the Yorkshire Potterheads will know of what I speak #finallywatchingHP

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Harry “Dances Like Your Dad” Potter #finallywatchingHP

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“Godric’s Hollow” “That’s what she said” Lol #finallywatchingHP

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“Do you think they’d be in there, Hermione. My mum and dad?” “No Harry. They are well dead.” #finallywatchingHP

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“What are we doing in a cemetery” “Well, it’s a grave situation…” Lolol #finallywatchingHP

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PLOT TWIST: The old woman was a giant f*cking snake #finallywatchingHP

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Never go to tea with an old woman. More often than not they turn out to be giant snakes. #finallywatchingHP

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“Are we out of the woo–“ “No, Harry. FFS.” #finallywatchingHP

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“Where is my wand?” I ask myself this a lot. #finallywatchingHP

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Mind. I mean mind. #finallywatchingHP

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Bambi! #finallywatchingHP

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Maybe wake up Hermione before you dive into the frozen lake? No? Okay, cool. #finallywatchingHP

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Last minute Ron! Nothing like a bit of last minute Ron #finallywatchingHP

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“Kill it, Ron, Kill it with fire! Or, you know, the sword!” #finallywatchingHP

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“Hey! I just got back, and this is measly. Sorry I left, I’m Ronald Weasley.” #finallywatchingHP

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Ron tells his story about a ball of light and everyone is like “cool story, bro” #finallywatchingHP

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Keep off the dirigible plums #finallywatchingHP

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“The Deathly Hallows… you know, like the title.” #finallywatchingHP

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This animated bit is good #finallywatchingHP

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So Harry Potter 1 should have been Harry Potter and Two of the Deathly Hallows #finallywatchingHP

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A Death Eater just rocked up channeling Adam Ant so hard I’m surprised his opening line wasn’t “stand and deliver!” #finallywatchingHP

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“Are we in the clear yet?” “This is not the time for jokes, Harry. Adam f*cking Ant is chasing us.” #finallywatchingHP

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Ooh right in the face #finallywatchingHP

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Gambondore had the Elder Wand the whole time. Sneaky. #finallywatchingHP

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“Are you le mad?” No I’m LeStrange!” #finallywatchingHP

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Is Bellatrix biting Hermione? #finallywatchingHP

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“Dobby’s come to rescue Harry Potter, of course!” #finallywatchingHP

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Oh she was carving mudblood into Hermione’s arm. Just like Tumblr. #finallywatchingHP

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Luscious Locks has some killer stubble going on #finallywatchingHP

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“Dobby only meant to maim” #finallywatchingHP

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“Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.” #finallywatchingHP

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Oh f*ck no. #finallywatchingHP

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“Such a beautiful place, to be with friends. Dobby is happy to be with his friend, Harry Potter.” #finallywatchingHP

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Sh*t this so sad #finallywatchingHP

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Um… tears. #finallywatchingHP

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RIP Dobby. Dobby was a good elf and a good friend. #finallywatchingHP

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And now Voldemort has the Elder Wand. #finallywatchingHP

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The end #finallywatchingHP

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Thank you for watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 with me. The post will be live in a couple of days. #finallywatchingHP

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