i was never the "soft" or "pretty" dancer. i was told many times in my earlier dancing days, especially once i entered the contemporary scene, that my energy was way too much which i use to take personally. Even as a hip-hop dancer i was often asked to calm down because i pulled focus from everyone else onstage--i was usually put in the back or not used. Relaxation and nuance are things i still sincerely and joyfully struggle with as a dancer/being. For me, dance was absolute freedom. It was the only thing that brought meaning to my life in my teenage years. Growing up on the South Side of Chicago, dealing with coming out (and being kicked out), trauma, financial poverty, depression, and so on, left me with a lot to say. And because dance was my only outlet for expression at the time, i gave my absolute everything every time i had to opportunity to move. 100% full-out, Felicia--150+ as my mentor/father, Pierre Lockettt, once described my dancing. Surrounded by violence, both internal and external, not knowing whether or not death would meet me untimely, dance was the only time i got to LIVE. i danced every step like it might be my last. Julie Nakagawa, my first artistic director, was the first person that shared a perspective with me on the subject that continues to resonate, especially as i evolve spiritually. "You don't always have to yell. Trust in what you have to say; the truthfulness of your message will be heard and understood." She celebrated my passion while challenging/encouraging me to add more colors and textures to my dancing (more tools to my toolbox, as she often referred to it). i continue to thank her for guiding and loving me through a very challenging period. This particular solo, "For Banks," was a beautiful opportunity to remember and practice: Breathe. Trust. Allow. Choreography by my dear friend, Elysia Banks
