Dallon: *holds the doon open* After you.
Spencer: No, After you.
Dallon: I insist, after you.
Brendon: *pushes past the both of them* After me.
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Dallon: *holds the doon open* After you.
Spencer: No, After you.
Dallon: I insist, after you.
Brendon: *pushes past the both of them* After me.

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Brendon: Say yes to drugs.
Dallon: Say no to drugs.
Brendon: Doesn't matter what you tell drugs.
Brendon: Because if you're talking to drugs, you're taking drugs.
Spencer: If you took a shot every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Dan: Maybe a tad tipsy?
Dallon: Drunk.
Jon: Wasted.
Brendon: Dead.
Brendon: my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. what should i do?
Spencer: punch him in the stomach. then, when he doubles over the pain, kiss him
Jon: tackle him
Brent: dump him
Ryan: kick him in the shin
Dallon: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN

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Brendon: Hello, people who raided my fridge at 3AM without telling me.
Spencer: Hi
Dan: Hello
Dallon: Hey Bren
Brendon: i gave you guys a spare key for emergencies only!
Dallon: we were out of Dr. Pepper
Dallon: fuck you
Brendon: is that an insult or a promise?
Brendon: i'm quick at solving math problems.
Dallon: okay, what's 38 x 76?
Brendon: 24.
Dallon: that's not even close.
Brendon: yeah, but it was quick.