I’ve been trying to put this into words since My Chemical Romance came back, and I’ve accepted that this is as coherent as it’s gonna get, so, bear with me. I first started listening to MCR as a teenager who was secretly questioning her sexuality; I didn’t know what I was, just that something was off about me. I felt that there was something in me that needed to be kept hidden, and that feeling was reflected in popular media where no one seemed to be like me. But then a friend from the internet recommended a song by My Chemical Romance, a band that I had never heard of. From the first listen, MCR made me feel like I was in safe hands; like I could be myself. And I became myself through heavy eyeliner; and studded belts and bracelets; and black t-shirts and hoodies from the men’s section of the store, because I hated my body and needed to be cloaked in layers and layers. Gerard kissed Bert McCracken a few times, and Frank a lot of times, and talked about sucking dick; and everyone treated it like a joke, because everything gay was either a joke or an insult back then. But those of us with secret thoughts felt a swarm of butterflies as we watched it all happen, because even if it was a joke, it was an act of courage in the face of all the bigotry we grew up internalizing
I remember the early festival days; how Gerard lost their mind and raged on stage after hearing that a band had offered backstage passes in exchange for girls flashing their tits; and Gerard stood on stage yelling at the crowd, telling the girls who were given such an offer to spit in that shitty band’s faces and scream FUCK YOU.
And on Life On the Murder Scene they recalled this story and talked about the sexualization of women that happens in rock ’n’ roll; and how they despised it and never wanted to be that kind of person or that kind of band. This was at a time where such behavior was normalized, and yet we could all feel safe knowing that they would never do this to us.
And then MCR broke up and we felt lost, but they reassured us that death is never the end.
And it was true, because they reunited, and Gerard started wearing skirts on stage, and we were finally confirmed in what we always knew - that MCR was a queer band, always had been, and not just because the vibes were there, but because Gerard was queer - One of us! One of us! - and we hadn’t just made ourselves at home, we were home.
