tw externalized transphobia and internalized transmysogny fear of being outed/closeted fear
may have flown too close to the sun and tried making a post analysis about how i felt while in the circus that it wasnt just with ribbit and it stop even after she was gone it was worse because someone knew someone found out and anyone else knowing was a risk of others finding out too the fear was constant it became a constant fear a hypervigilance to make sure no one else figured it out saw it like ribbit did that they would find out that they would know that they would figure it out too if i ever got to close to being feminine
what i said like both a little too much insider insight and this being me were talking about people are too busy hating me for my transgender swag and condemning me forever as if that isnt like the exact opposite point of the ending? and really the show in general which is about a trans woman written by a trans woman based on her struggles with accepting her own gender identity yes obviously the message is that im irredeemable and dont deserve to be happy
because obviously the point of the show was actually fuck you if you struggle with your identity the instinctual fear from inherent danger and vulnerability in coming out and in ways that are complicated and that causes harm to yourself and others then you can never be a better person and your inherently evil dont deserve to transition and should die /SARCASM
jax/daisy fictive
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