trigger warnings for mentions and depictions of blood, gore, death, sedation
deep breaths, in and out.
the aftermath of a passionate performance, reflected in the eyes of hundreds of adoring fans.
a sense of raw anticipation as the scores tick up, vote by vote,
75… 80… 83… racing upwards until
DAIAN: 89
MERCURY: 90
MERCURY WIN
a slight disappointment. but, mostly… exhilaration. a match so close… a performance so evenly matched… a chance to sing with mercury, onstage in front of galaxies worth of an audience.
seeing the glowing lights and eyes of fans twinkle like stars… turning to congratulate Mercury…
“Hehe, you won! Congratulations, Mercury-“
pausing, at eye contact. he looks… scared. Why does she look-
“Dai-“
Red. Bright, shining, bloody RED.
like a scene only realized in stark monochrome hatching, somehow more terrible, more beautiful, in full, moonlit colour.
crimson starlight, reflected in a spreading pool. it’s wet. slick. dark, on your pants. When did your knees hit the floor?
“M… Mercury…?”
he’s still looking ahead. smiling.
they’re
not
breathing
“Mercury… Mer, get up… Mercury!”
she’s not moving
she’s not moving
she’s not
“Mercury, please… Please… get up, please!”
his eyes are open
they’re not looking anywhere
she’s not moving
she’s
familiar… not… it’s…
“MERCURY, WAKE UP! MERCURY! MER-“
a prick, like a branch digging into the side of your neck. pinpricks of light blur like comets as your vision trembles.
hands, armoured, grabbing, pulling
at your arms, taking you Away-
you’re fighting back, you can’t
you can’t fight back
you can’t
it’s dark
it’s dark
it’s dark
something is so, so
wrong
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
LOG END
SAVING…
ENCODE TO 382948?
> YES NO
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
oh my god i burned the kitchen down. who let me cook.
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trigger warnings for mentions and depictions of death, grief, blood, violence, and s**cide
어딘가 숨 쉴 수 있는 곳
어딜까 아픈 눈물 없는 곳
it’s dark onstage.
darker than the last time you had to face the crowds. strange, with the ethereal glow that permeates every part of the stage around you.
아무도 그 아무도 모르게
Close your eyes
멀어져만 가는 기억 그 끝에
maybe it’s the way they let you style your hair. maybe it’s the veil over your eyes.
maybe it’s the audience, creating their very own dark sea for a comet that should have burned out at its first pass.
알아 언제나 넌 미소 뒷편으로
맘을 가려 숲을 만들어
how often had you dreamed of this moment?
of performing together live onstage, being able to sing your song,
of how the lights would shine on you both as you stood together, showing the world just what he’d made you.
애써 숨으려 두 귀를 막아도
번지는 noise
막을 수도 없는걸
don’t you feel foolish now.
너무도 많은 색들이
뒤섞여 버린 물감처럼
알 수 없어져 반복되는 하루
널 바꾸려 하는 사람들과
그 안에서 무뎌져 가는
너를 본다면
you can’t help but look up, so much alike, but so different from how you did the last time you stood out here.
gazing up, trying to catch the views of your friends, your family… and…
…
best not to think about him, for now.
Run away 숨쉴 수 있는 곳
Run away 아픈 눈물 없는 곳
Broken heart 시간이 더 갈수록
Close your eyes
점점 흐려지는 너의 눈 앞에
Paradise (Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Paradise (Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
muscle memory kicks in, in a way. singing that first chorus… letting your voices blend together…
it’s almost enough to forget for a moment. to believe you can stay here, forever.
끝이 있을까
너를 위한 곳은, oh
꿈에서도 답을 못 찾은 채 넌
그렇게 그렇게 아픈데
이토록 기나긴 시간 동안 (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ah)
he’s still dazzling in the light. you used to watch in the garden, as the artificial light shone and reflected off his pale hair and skin.
you told him once, it’s like you were made for the golden hour - you could picture it in your head even then, how the light would turn his hair into a flame, casting light and shadows onto the light backdrop of his features. he smiled at you and ruffled your hair.
너무도 많은 색들이
뒤섞여 버린 물감처럼
알 수 없어져 반복되는 하루
널 바꾸려 하는 사람들과
그 안에서 무뎌져 가는
너를 본다면
looking back now, you were wrong. in this light, the blue ripples of light reflecting off his partially bound form,
(how dare they, you thought, undoing the ropes around his arms earlier. how dare they punish him for his grief)
you can recognize it. he was made to shine in the light of the moon.
Run away 숨쉴 수 있는 곳
Run away 아픈 눈물 없는 곳
Broken heart 시간이 더 갈수록
Close your eyes
점점 흐려지는 너의 눈 앞에
이제 감았던 눈을 떠
You're not alone, not alone, not alone now
더 이상 슬퍼하지 않아도 돼
You're always in my heart, ooh-ooh
scores, ticking up one by one. when you were little, you had never understood the adage of feeling your heart in your throat — it’s impossible, after all.
it made more sense after he explained it. but you always thought it was also appropriate for singing — why wouldn’t it, if your voice was made of love?
you can’t help but think both apply here, at the end.
Run away (Ah) 숨쉴 수 있는 곳 (숨쉴 수 있는 곳)
Run away 아픈 눈물 없는 곳 (Don't you cry no more)
Far away, far away 아주 멀리 (Oh-whoa)
Open your eyes (Open your eyes)
긴 밤을 건너 눈 앞에 펼쳐질
Paradise (Ooh, ooh-ooh)
I'll never leave you alone (Ooh-ooh-ooh), oh-oh
Paradise (Ooh, ooh-ooh)
I'll never leave you
I'll never leave you (Ooh-ooh-ooh)
I'll never leave you
Paradise
as the last notes linger, your eyes and his find each other, and then the scoreboard.
73 to 73–
74 to 73. your favour.
DAIAN WIN
that’s—
inexplicably, you want to laugh. this— it can’t be happening like this, not again, are you FUCKING kidding—
your eyes return to his, wide and dark in the azure lights of the stage. he looks…
he looks relieved.
you feel sick. you feel… you…
you know what you need to do.
you have to approach him, take his hand. feel the marks on his skin where they tied the rope taut. lead him to the edge.
don’t look him in the eye. you can’t— you won’t be able to do it. not if you can see him first.
one step at a time, left foot goes first. keep your gaze fixed on the target, until you reach it.
staring at his back, as he gazes before you into the sea of eager, hungry faces. you take a deep breath.
“…Kay? I’m sorry.”
he turns back around to face you, and you
spin.
you can feel how your leg catches him in the side, knocking the breath out of him as he’s thrown away from the ledge, falling to the ground as you tip, overbalanced,
right into the waiting crowd.
the last thing you see is his horrified face, as he reaches out to you over the ledge.
despite everything, you smile.
i’m sorry. thank you.
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
[ERROR]
[ERROR]
[ERROR]
SUBJECT 382947 HAS CEASED TRANSMISSION
INITIATING AUTOSAVE PROTOCOL…
UPLOAD ALL RECORDED FILES TO SUBJECT 382948?
>YES NO
UPLOADING…
UPLOAD SUCCESS
SUBJECT 382948 HAS BEEN ACTIVATED.
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
JIMINY FUCKIN CRICKET THAT WAS A LOT
soooooo daian nation how we feeling :3 i have a bio assignment due tonight lord save my soul
taglist bc they asked for it: @ivanttakethis @chevalperd @friedclownshrimp @starry-skiez @saurekin-the-gillicuttin
and also for implications of the guys: @lookatmysillies @messengers-of-the-gods
and finally @imperfectnothing for heavy and loving depictions of kay (KAYYY MY SHAYLA)
and the beautiful and wonderful @alien-til-i-stage for helping me fix this damn log formatting and putting up with my nitpicky ass i love you nadddd
trigger warnings for mentions and depictions of blood, child death, s**cide aftermath, pills
in the back of your mind, there is a girl.
she’s a slight thing, pale and thin. a wisp of smoke in a bright meadow.
she lives in your memory, dancing out of reach, standing alone, eyes sparkling as she spoke about different creatures.
you didn’t know her. you weren’t… quite you yet, really. quieter, less sure. you used to see her around, watching from further away. you couldn’t help but think she was beautiful.
in your mind, you would imagine her in the stories you read. maybe she was a princess of the clouds, with her pale skin and delicate frame. maybe an ice spirit, coldly shining in the garden lights. or, your favourite, maybe she was a shooting star herself, come down from the heavens with her own glow.
you… haven’t thought about her in a while. not since… not since…
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
MEMORY RECALL PROTOCOL ACTIVATED
FILE: KT-04-09
SUBJECT: 382947
RELATION TAG: 328863-A
PLAY?
> YES NO
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
it’s quiet in the corridor.
it always is, but for some reason it’s different, right now.
no sounds of people moving around in the different rooms, no teachers or staff rousing little humans from rest or ushering them through the halls. it’s still.
it doesn’t matter. you’ve never liked being alone with the quiet, either way.
footsteps echo on the tiled floor. you read a story once where the hero would slip her shoes off and stand on her toes to keep her steps silent, in order to not be noticed.
you see no need to do that. you’re just looking for your friend, that’s all!
well, your friend’s friend. you noticed that katarina (“call me katy, like katydid”) wasn’t there at meal… she’s probably really hungry, if she didn’t show up!
“Kat- Katy? Are you here? You missed meal…”
nothing.
all of the doors are closed either way… if she’s here, maybe she couldn’t hear you?
oh! there’s a light, peeking from one of the doors! it’s a little bit open, could it be…?
“Katy? Katy, are you there-?”
It’s red. Red on white, red on silver, red on the medicine in her hand-
“Katy? Katy? What happened? Are you sick???”
closer, get closer, she’s
not
breathing
“Can- can you hear me? Katy???”
she’s not responding. she’s
she’s not moving
she’s not
“I- stay, stay here, I’ll go get someone!”
you run to leave and still
she’s
not
moving
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
PLAYBACK COMPLETE
EXITING RECALL PROTOCOL…
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
…
in the back of your mind, there is a dead girl.
you didn’t even realize.
idiot.
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
[ALERT]: SUBJECT CONSCIOUSNESS RETURNING…
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
LOG END
SAVING…
ENCODE TO 382948?
>YES NO
✦•〰〰〰〰〰〰•★•〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
hooooooo boy that was a doozy
shoutout to sash ( @mobblespsycho100 ) for writing pacting with me and motivating me to finish this on my trip to and from work!!!! love you sash
taglist for this one uwahh @alien-til-i-stage @messengers-of-the-gods @verdantlights @lookatmysillies @friedclownshrimp @chevalperd @nottoonedin @ivanttakethis @rotibakasstuff @apriciticreveries
and last but the opposite of least @imperfectnothing for. well. extensive depiction of katy <3 love u rock
