#dae.txt

in their mind (the teacher they have a crush on reciprocating, adoring them) vs. how they get treated irl (the drivers, the harassment that comes with presenting femme)

Sprite is alone by circumstance. He’s alone because no one prefers him, alone because Zee is a better bearer of their mother’s expectations. He’s the older twin and overlooked and he still tries, my goodness he tries so hard that it makes me wonder how anyone in his life can see that and not adore him to pieces. He’s so lonely he thinks his brother’s known nemesis is his closest confidant. In this team full of people who hate the one who wears his face he would rather tackle trying to befriend First, that it is the best choice. Idk if it’s naïveté or just unchallenged confidence he built up as a way to survival but it’s so audacious, it’s kind of brilliant.

And it works, it wears First down, he manages to get these people to like him but at the end of the day, it’s not him they like. This timed repose of belonging but only when he is standing in for someone else. Holding onto Zee’s life while his falls to pieces and for what? No credit, no appreciation, not even a hint of understanding from his mother, his father, even Salmon or Tan.

First is similar in the sense of never getting afforded the favouritism Zee enjoys from his father and his sister being a Zee stan just adds salt to the wound. The only people who prefer him are the team and even then they are so factioned he’s part of the in-group and still stands alone.

Zee, see Zee is so interesting to me cause his loneliness is self-inflicted. Maybe it started when the twins were split, maybe when he became part of the team we don’t know. We’ve only seen the worst parts of him until now and he seems to be content functioning in that window too. He’s thrust into this life w/o any input, seems to be doing it right and he’s still miserable. He has the recognition, he allegedly has the skill, he (undeservedly, in a way) has the girl and he still vows to take over Sprite’s life? And do what? Wreak havoc as him? Permanently replace him? Just hang around to fuck w/Sprite?