#dadstuff

It fell one by one, each droplet taking its time, not caring about anything. Runny nose that was now red because of the non-stop crying. Swollen eyes made it harder to see -- to see what has happened.

Wails.

Disbelief was to be found in each and every word she wailed. Sadness did not fail to prevail at all, continuously spreading throughout my body like a poison. Anger found its way in, blaming myself, all that came with it.

His eyes.

It was closed -- he seemed so peaceful. It seems that ge finally got the rest that he needed all these years. The eyes that once gazed at me, was now nowhere to be found. It's gone.

His breathing.

It's always like he's panting, wires all around, oxygen tanks to help him breathe. As a mindless child, I couldn't care less. Of course it would one day halt but it was earlier than I thought.

He's breathing.

A thought that I wished that would come true. A sound that I wanted to hear again, the presence that I wanted to feel again. He's not breathing anymore. Let him breathe please!

The glass.

How I wanted to break that glass into pieces. Thin and transparent; the barrier between me and you. It felt like it was a cage for him, a corpse in display.

9 Years...

It has been that long? It's past half of my life spent without you. Anxiety never falters to visit from time to time, doubting me and you -- us. Tears always makes its way inside, envy and jealousy. Sometimes I temporarily forget the pain, but in times like this when I could think by myself more, it gets the best of me. Words like these can't really elaborate what I really wanted to say all this time, it's too much. I became happy, sad, angry, love and felt loved because of a person like you. It's just that time played with us, manipulated us. You are able to read this manuscript because your absence was my force to write. Thank you.