#daddry

-

The day went by quickly, I started my day off by cleaning around the house and putting on fresh clean sheets for my Angel. Aria's room is princess themed, pale pink walls with a plush toddler bed filled with pillows and stuffed animals. She insisted that pictures of her and her stuffed animals be displayed across a picture light line, which illuminates her whole space when the lights are completely off. I am also fortunate enough to be able to give her; her own bathroom which is attached to her bedroom… something I am sure she will appreciate the older she gets. When I think about it, her room is the only space in my whole home that has that much color, the rest of my house is full of neutral colors with masculine accents and as much as I love it, it lacks the femininity most homes have which is why I went out last week and bought a few candles that I have scattered throughout the house. 

After organizing Aria’s room, I made my way to the gym as well as the grocery store: something else I lacked in my house, food. I’m not the best chef and I mostly eat out during the week or on occasion I will stop by my parents or Elizabeth's house for a home cooked meal. However, when Aria is here on the weekends I do my absolute best to have a stocked pantry and fridge for whatever she may be in the mood for. 

I try my hardest but by no means am I the perfect father. To be quite candid, when I found out that her mother was pregnant with her my heart sank to the floor… I was not ready to be a father. I was still early in my college career, my party stage: I was sleeping with multiple girls at a time, practically fucking someone new each day and even twice in the same day, I was drinking and smoking excessively and I felt like she was going to be such a burden on my life but I was completely wrong. The first appointment I went to with her mother, I was able to hear her little heart beat and in that moment I knew that I needed to change and be the best person I could possibly be because that little girl was going to be dependent on me. Shortly after her birth, I was able to cram in as many classes as possible and intern at my fathers law-firm which has led me down my current career path. My dream and goal is to be able to run that place myself and let my father retire,however, until that day comes I will let him shine. 

-

It’s a little before 11 AM and I have just arrived at Alena’s house. She lives in a quiet little neighborhood, filled with other kids and families alike. Her single family home is located at the end of the street which allows for her to have a bit bigger yard than the rest of her neighbors which I’m sure she loves because Aria gets a little more extra yard space to play in. It’s a newer model, which my father and I helped her buy. Alena is able to take care of herself just fine, however, I vowed to myself that I would do my best to give my child the best life which meant moving her mother into a safer neighborhood and a better school district than she was once located in. 

I make my way up her drive-way and to her front door and ring her doorbell. It takes a minute, however, I am greeted by the sweetest sight - Aria is dressed in a jean overall dress with a frilly pink shirt underneath. Her mom has clicked her hair back out of her face but a sparkly clip ahas let her chestnut curls flow down. 

“Daddy! I’m so happy to see you” my little angel is beaming up at me as I pick her up into my arms and make my way into her mothers home. Alena is standing right next to the front door and allows me to step in. 

“She’s been waiting all morning for you to come - she had us pack her bag last night and only made me change her outfit three times this morning.” I can’t help but smile as her mother tells me how excited my baby is to spend time with me. I really do adore this child with my whole heart. 

“ Well Bubs, Daddy can’t wait to spend the whole weekend with you too.” My baby girl is still in my arms as I make my way into the home and sit down on the couch with her and her mother has invited me to stay for a few minutes while Aria finishes cleaning up her room before she leaves for the weekend. 

Alena’s voice takes me out of trance. “Would you like some coffee while you wait? I just finished brewing some.” 

“ Y-Y-Yeah, thank you.” The air feels thick here. 

While Alena makes her way into her kitchen, I can’t help myself from staring at her. She’s always been a gorgeous girl, but now has most definitely transformed into a woman. Growing up she was always on the thinner side, with a little plumpness to her ass and her breasts but after having Aria her body has changed. Alena’s hips have grown to be a little wider and her thighs seem to be a little thicker, her breasts seem to be slightly bigger and might I say even a bit perkier. That once smaller ass has definitely grown with her as well. I would be lying to myself if I said she still isn’t one of the most beautiful women I have ever encountered. 

My heart instantly feels guilty though, the girl that I used to make laugh and smile ia filled with hatred and disdain due to my unfaithfulness. As I have explained previously, I by no means was a saint to Alena… I didn’t even know what the word faithful meant. Instead of keeping her pure and happy, I felt the need to go find satisfaction somewhere else and would often bury my cock in another girl while Alena and I tried the long distance thing while we were both away at different colleges. I was selfish because I couldn’t wait a weekend or two for her to come home and satisfy my needs, so I went and found other girls to satisfy me during the week and weekends she was busy. I am not proud to admit this and it’s honestly one of my biggest regrets in life to do this day but I broke her, lost her trust, and she probably still hates me. 

Her voice pulls me out of a trance once again, “ How would you like your coffee?” 

“I drink it black - good for the soul.” I try to keep conversation light to keep the mood and room feeling happy but I don’t think she wants to engage in anything further, all she gives is a small smile and hands me a mug with black coffee. 

“She’s off from school on Monday, if you’d like to keep her an extra day… I’m sure she’d love to spend the time with you…” but before I can even get in a word she cuts me off, “But if you have plans with your girlfriend or something, it’s okay. I know it’s last minute.”

“My daughter comes before anyone else - you already know this. I’ll have her back Monday after dinner if that’s okay.” I try my best to fill the awkwardness by taking a sip of coffee and letting room for her to speak but I don’t get nothing but a head nod and a quiet, “That’s fine.” 

Before it could get even more awkward, Aria makes her way into the living room and announces that she is ready for the weekend with me. She and her mother exchange a few hugs and kisses before we make our way out the door. 

Before her mother shuts the door behind us, she yells out to Aria, “ You better behave for daddy while you’re with him or no more late movie nights when you get back for a whole week!” 

I would be lying to myself if I don't admit that hearing Alena reference me as daddy didn’t make my cock twitch a little. 

- 

Aria and I have been at my parents for the last 3 hours and it’s almost time for me to go pick up Elizabeth. My heart is pounding out of my chest. Besides Alena, my parents have never met another girlfriend of mine, but that’s mostly due to us not staying together or constantly breaking up. I had this one girlfriend about a year ago. Her name was Camila. Camila was a beautiful bombshell, gorgeous body with long blonde hair but she was so irritating and sharp as a bowling ball… we had nothing in common but she was great in bed and satisfied my needs. But that wasn’t her biggest downfall - her biggest downfall was that she was extremely insecure and even if another woman walked in my direction she thought I had eyes for them, which was not the case. Ultimately, we were on and off for about 2 years but I figured I wouldn’t tell anyone because I knew she wasn’t going to be in it for the long haul and was only a temporary fix to my desire and need to have someone around. 

However, when I met Elizabeth shortly after Camila, I knew she was different. Elizabeth is poised, elegant but most definitely has an erotic side that fits in perfectly with my desires. She’s about 5’8 with jet black hair that hits the middle of her back, and more on the athletic build. She has these gorgeous bright blue eyes that remind me of the ocean and the most sexy smile. She’s knowledgeable, smart and sophisticated and I can actually hold a conversation with her - and to top it off she has a good heart. As much as I deeply care for her, tonight will be the true testament on what the next steps are in our relationship because if tonight doesn’t go best I am hoping, then I have a lot to reconsider. 

“Aria, baby… daddy is going to be right back. I’m going to go pick-up one of my friends and bring her over. Okay?” Aria, my parents and I have been sitting in the backyard for the last hour, Aria has sprawled out on me and she’s been trying to fight a nap. Her mother informed me that, around this time she puts her down for a nap because she will get cranky and boy was she right. 

“N-No, please d-d-dont go.” her eyes started to spark up tears, she digs her head further into my chest and closes her grip onto my shirt. I truly have never seen this side of her, it seems as though her mother sees it all the time though. Her mother warned me about her restlessness and how quickly she can go from a sweet angel to a saucy devil. 

“Baby, Daddy won’t be gone for long..” I moved her off of my chest softly, so I can look into her eyes as I speak to her. I want her to know that she is safe with me - she is loved and I would never break my promises to her. Her tears have already started to mark her clothes and I do the best I can wiping her tears away with my thumbs. “ I promise when I get back, we can play as much as you want.” I place tender kisses on her forehead all the way down to her little toes until I spark that laugh that sounds like music to my ears. 

- 

The whole drive to Elizabeth’s my stomach was in knots. I really don’t have anything to be nervous about, but here I am, sweating like a prostitute in church. The drive to Elizabeths from my parents house was close to a 35-minute drive, enough time to be alone with her, but not too much time away from Aria. 

When I arrive at Elizabeth's apartment complex, I send her a text that I am waiting for her outside. I originally had insisted that I’d come inside to pick her up, which I have done plenty of times before, however, she let me know that she had her sister staying with her temporarily due to a her sisters awful break-up and she thinks that seeing another male species will only infuriate her sister even more. 

Elizabeth looks absolutely divine making her way to my car. She has a beautiful sundress that is a shade of cream, with spaghetti straps that tie on the ends. Her sundress hits just to the mid of her calf and she has on these tan sandals. Her jet black hair has been curled on the ends, and her make-up seems to be done-up more than usual. She’s effortlessly gorgeous. 

“Well hello there m’darling.” her perfume encapsulates my car, it’s vanilla. “I missed you,Harry.” Her plump pink lips meet with mine and all I can think about is wanting to devour her later. Her lips taste like cherry, and I notice that some of her lipstick has rubbed off on me. 

“Har, I’m nervous…” her voice was much more timid than I was used to hearing. 

“M’darling, there’s absolutely nothing to be nervous about. It’s all going to go well.” I don’t know if it was saying all of this to convince her or me because to be honest I was nervous as well. I use my free hand to rub small circles around her thigh. 

“Have you ever introduced her to any other girlfriends of yours?” I know she’s just trying to make small talk because we had this same conversation just earlier this week. 

“Nope, you’re the first one.” I passed a small smirk over to her in hopes that it would comfort her and from the looks of it, her nerves must have calmed down a bit because her cheeks aren’t as flush. 

“Har, what if she doesn’t like me? I mean, she doesn't have to but I would like her too.” she's starting to ramble, something I noticed she does when she wants to get her feelings out but doesn’t want to come off as too pushy or demanding or even opinionated. The first time I picked up on this trait was when she stayed over my house for the first time. We had just gotten out of the shower together, and I stepped out of the shower without wrapping myself in a towel first, and she was mortified because my tile flooring was soaked, and she deemed it as a slipping hazard. She says she wasn’t trying to be a nag, but all she did that night was express to me all the different ways she and I could have gotten hurt. 

“M’darling, I have a feeling she’s going to love you. However, just try and stay open minded and not too handsy infront of her - I must warn you… she can get a little overprotective at times, Alena and I are working on teaching her the importance of sharing.” The mention of my daughter's mother seems to have struck a chord in Elizabeth's mood but I’m going to blame it on her nerves, rather than anything else. 

The rest of the 20 minute ride to my parents was spent in silence, with the radio being used more so as background noise than actually for listening. By no means did I make that comment to upset Elizabeth, however, she is fully aware of the relationship I have with Alena. I have explained to her once before that Alena and I are just two people who are co parenting - I wouldn’t even call us friends at this point in time. Alena and I rarely communicate, unless it is solely about Aria but we do text each other Happy Birthday every year but even that seems forced. When I think about it, the best way to describe it is that I have love for her but I am not in love with her. My love for her comes from the fact that she is primarily raising our daughter, cares for our daughter, and is the absolute best mother to our daughter and I have massive respect for her, but that is it. 

“Well we’re here, Babe. Let’s go show them how beautiful you are inside and out.” I pulled Elizabeth in for a tender kiss on her lips, my hands cupping her face gently.I don’t want a silly comment to ruin her mood for the rest of the night, nor do I ever want her to worry about how much I care about her and how much she means. 

“I’m ready, Har.” a large smile was plastered on her face - there’s the Elizabeth that I know. 

-

So far, so good. My mom Anne, was already so smitten with Elizabeth - they apparently already have so much in common from what books they enjoy reading, reality TV shows they enjoy to even their favorite stores, it’s almost like they are the same person the only difference is their looks. My mom is a petite woman with dark chocolate brown hair, and her eyes are the color of the sea, her smile is the best part of her - it could light up any room. Throughout my whole life, my mother has been my biggest supporter, even when I was being a piece of shit son and a horrible partner to Aria’s mom. The one quality I admire the most about my mother is her ability to forgive - when I was around the age of sixteen, my father had an affair with his then receptionist. I remember her, she was this beautiful bombshell with the biggest tits and always wore very tight pencil skirts. My father hadn’t come home for dinner yet and it was getting late, my mother had called him at least twice and she had asked me to go with her to his office in case something was wrong and when we got there, there was definitely something not right. All the lights in his firm had been dimmed besides his office and we could hear quiet muffles coming from down the hall. When I tell you, I’ve never been so heart broken for my mother. I am not joking. There my father was, plowing into his reception while her skirt was hiked up to her hips, her tits bouncing up and down while she rode him. Her mouth was gaped open while she moaned obnoxiously, by the time she and my father noticed that my mother and I were watching, they were both coming down from their high. 

That night was one of the worst nights of my life - my perfect family that I once knew was broken and I was positive that it would never be fixed. It took my mother 2 years to discuss with my father what had happened that night and how it made her feel. For two years, my father temporarily lived in an apartment because my mom did not allow him to come home - even though it was his house that he had bought. My father, even though a tough man, knew he had fucked up and he was not man enough to face my mother until she was ready, a man who rarely wined and dined my mother was now sending her flowers and gifts almost every day, but my mother never accepted them - all she wanted was a faithful husband who loved her and no one else. I believe that my fathers infidelity dimmed my mothers light for a while, however, when she learned of my infidelity and crazy antics when I was younger, that really broke her. My mother believed that she failed as a parent because I grew up to just be like my father, a cheater. 

Fast forward to now, my mother and father still live in the same house but I can tell that everything is much much different now. My mother doesn’t smile or laugh as much as she used. She has lost a bit of weight and now started to wear clothes that accentuate her body ever so slightly. My father doesn’t go into the office as much and prefers to work from home, he likes to say it’s because he’s trying to let me get my feet wet into the business and he wants to be behind the scenes but I know it’s because my mother doesn’t trust him anymore and he wants nothing more to regain her trust. 

- 

“Honey, Harry here tells us that you work at an account firm. How do you like it?” We’re sitting outside on the patio deck, and my mom has just brought out the last of the dinner for everyone. 

“Oh yes, it’s honestly really great. I really love the people I work for and really enjoy my profession. I’ve always been so interested in numbers and accounting.” Elizabeth is beaming a smile over to my mother, and my mother just seems like she is in complete awe of her. 

“Oh that's just wonderful! And how long have you been with this company?” I appreciate the effort my mothers makes to make Elizabeth comfortable, but all she’s been doing is asking this poor girl questions, she hasn’t even had the chance to really let her eat. 

“ Oh, just over two years now. I originally started off as an intern but have started to make my way up. I’m currently working as a front desk operator, but they say a position should be opening up very shortly which will allow me to move up in my career.” Finally, Elizabeths able to take a bite of her dinner. 

“It’s allowed me to learn a lot of the administrative aspects of the business, so I’ve learned to really appreciate how much detailing goes into their day to day to make everyone else's job easy as possible, to be honest, before my initial internship I didn’t really understand what exactly it meant to be an accountant… I just knew that's what I was supposed to do in life.” Before my mother could follow-up in the conversation, a small frame was standing at the sliding doors as they had just woken up. 

Right as I had arrived with Elizabeth to my parents house, my mother had texted me to inform me that Aria had fallen asleep for her nap. As much as I would have loved to have a grand reveal meeting between Elizabeth and Aria, my baby’s nap was most important. 

“ Oh look who woke up from their nap.” my baby girl slid the doors open and made her way into my arms. It was obvious that she was still groggy because she didn’t even acknowledge the people around us, all she managed to do was place her head in the crook of my neck. 

“Bubs, I have a special friend I want’ya to meet.” I could tell that Elizabeth was hoping for the best, her eyes were full of eagerness. Aria turned her body away from me and looked in Elizabeth’s direction. I was treading with caution and allowing Aria to lead the way into this new interaction, I didn’t want to push her if she wasn’t ready. Aria didn’t say much but she did manage to smile shyly and give her a wave, which I think is a good start. 

“ Hi my name’s Elizabeth, what’s yours?” Elizabeth hesitantly placed her hand out for a hand shake and surprisingly Aria took the bait and shook Elizabeth's hand back. 

“ My name’s Aria.” she was a shy one tonight. 

For the rest of the night, Aria didn’t interact much with Elizabeth, she primarily just sat on my lap while she played with her toys. I can tell that Elizabeth wants to try and interact with Aria more but doesn’t want to push the issue anymore, I can sense her hope for a relationship but I had warned her about this. I had warned her that this was all still very new for Aria, myself and even her mother. 

-

The night was coming to an end, it was roughly a bit after 9:30 PM, and Aria has fallen asleep on my parents' living room sofa. My mom suggested I take Elizabeth home first and then come back for Aria, she said it would give us some “alone time”. 

The drive back to Elizabeth’s started off quiet but I finally broke the silence. 

“I’m sorry it didn’t go the way you had expected. I’m positive she’ll warm up soon enough, my love.” I placed my hand gently on her thigh and traced small circles on her knee. 

“Har, there’s nothing to apologize about. She doesn’t know me…” I could sense the disappointment in her voice but there was only so much I could do or say, things like this take time especially when another parent is involved. “ Har, I think we need to focus on our relationship and build it before we try to do things all together again - I can sense the love you and your daughter share, however, I don’t think she’s ready for you to share her with me.” 

“ Elizabeth, I’m sorry you feel this way but I believe I made it very clear to you that above all I am a father. I don’t think it’s fair to make a judgment call based on one interaction.” Her confession irritates me because I did not lead her on to believe that anyone or anything would come above Aria. 

“ You have made it clear to me, multiple times actually. I love spending time with you, being with you, loving you. But I don’t think you’re actually as ready as you think you are to allow me in, in regard to that part of your life.” 

We have approached her building complex, she hasn’t gotten out of the car yet but I also haven’t asked her to. 

“ Har, you’re a great guy but I think you have a lot to think about. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready… I would never in a million years try to take you away from your daughter, but I also want to make sure that you’re actually ready for something serious.” she turns her body so she's now facing me.

“ I want you to be with me effortlessly, I don’t want to feel like I am competing for your attention, and right now… and even times before, it feels like no matter what I say, you’re always bringing up your daughter in some way as an excuse as to why something can’t happen or something can’t be done or it doesn’t meet expectations, or whatever. Harry, I want you but I need you to want me too and be ready for me and all that comes with being in an actual mutually loving relationship. Does that make sense?” 

Her words were harsh, but they were true. She was coming from a place of love, her voice stayed calm and gentle, yet they were full of emotion. I feel horrible that I have made her feel this way, yet she seems so understanding… As much as I care for this woman, I am not ready for her. 

“I’m sorry for dragging you along this whole time, when you did not feel as though I was fully there for you.” I gently grab her hands into mine. “ I want to continue seeing you and growing with you… but I think you’re right.” It actually really hurts to admit this out loud, but it needed to be said. “ Where do we go from here?” I don’t want this to end, I care for her alot and before she even gets the chance to respond I blurt out the only thing that comes to mind. 

“Liz, I love you.” 

“ Good morning Sunshine” is my go-to for waking my daughter up in the morning, unfortunately my daughter is not a morning person - a trait that she picked up from her father. Her emerald green eyes stayed hidden from me as she did her absolute best to try and stay asleep as she knew that it was time to get up and ready for school. 

“ It’s time to get up, Bubs, how are you going to become an Astronaut princess if you don’t go to school?” my arms embrace my daughter as I gently pick her up and walk her into the bathroom. 

“ Mommy, my tummy hurts.” my froggy 5 year old croaked. Now that I think of it… she does feel a bit warm. I was lucky enough that she was typically an energetic child who looked forward to going to school and meeting her friends, another trait she got from her father, however, today seems to be different. I placed her down on the edge of the sink and placed my hand onto her forehead as she seemed to be burning up. I do my best to be a fair and strict parent, so I can instill a routine and boundaries but it wouldn’t be fair to send her to school like this.

“ It’s okay, Bubs. Why don’t you stay home today and rest up. Why don’t we give you a bath and you can lay down next to mommy while she works, yeah?” I make my way over to the tub and start running a bubble bath for her to enjoy. “ Stay still, mommy will text daddy so he knows not to pick you up from school later.” 

Texting my daughter's father isn’t my least favorite thing to do, but I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite by any means either. There is so much built up pain and history even when I see his name pop-up on my phone or even see a picture posted of him. Harry Styles. My childhood best friend, my first crush, my first love and my first heartbreak. How is it possible for one person to be so many of my firsts? Some would say that Harry & I ended on a mutual note but it doesn’t mean that it hurt any less. We did our best to try the long distance thing while we tried finding ourselves in college but one thing led to another and it didn’t last. After agreeing to end things, we met-up one night and one thing led to another and a few weeks later I found out that I’m pregnant. Harry is an amazing father and I couldn’t ask for anyone better for my daughter, but he was not a good partner. He often slept around, could not commit to anyone and played every girl like the fiddle. We tried once more after Aria was born but that is when he was unfaithful and would stay out late and it's almost as if his whole personality changed.I guess people do change while in college and even after. 

“ Hey H, Bub’s isn’t feeling well. I’m going to keep her home with me today so no need to pick her up from school… thanks :)” I place my phone back down onto the counter and get Aria undressed for her bath. While allowing Aria to play around a bit in the bubbles I notice my phone has none stop been going off. 2 missed calls from Harry & 4 text messages. He’s so over dramatic. My phone rings again, before I could even say hello he gets his word in: 

“ What the hell, why haven’t you answered your phone?” I could sense his annoyance over the phone. 

“ Because I am bathing our daughter and I believe her cleanliness is more important than  worrying about my phone” I could see his eyes rolling already. 

“ What’s wrong with her? What happened?” His concern for Aria is something I could admire and could almost push past all the horrible things he has done to me in the past. 

“ Harry, she’s sick. She’s around other sick kids almost everyday… it was practically bound to happen. She’ll be fine in no time… she just needs to rest for the day and drink fluids and cuddle. I promise you I won’t let anything happen to your precious angel.” The last sentiment of my statement to Harry was meant more as sarcasm but in all honesty, she really is an angel and couldn't ask for a more perfect child. 

“ Erm, yeah.. Okay. Can I stop over after work later on? I can pick up some dinner for us three and maybe watch a movie with her…” I can sense the hesitation in his voice. Harry and I had an agreement that we would be civil parents for Aria, but I would prefer to not have “family hangouts” as much as I could avoid it. As much as I wanted a two-parent household for my daughter, I refused to confuse her anymore and give her a false hope that Harry and I would ever get back together. However, there are some exceptions to this rule and tonight is one of them. One thing I hold my ground on is never holding Harry back with Aria or anytime he wants to spend with her. 

“ That would be nice, Har… thank you. Just let me know what time you think you’ll be over later on tonight, and remember.…her bed times  9:00 PM” a gentle smile plastered on my face when I look back over at my daughter while she plays with the bubbles in her bath. 

“ Of course, give her a kiss for me to hold her off until I get there” before I could even say goodbye the line drops. 

-

The day was filled with many email correspondences, phone calls as well as planning for the upcoming next few months. Being the lead editor for one of the top design magazines in the country was no easy job by any means, but my passion and dedication for the job was what makes it all worth it. I’ve been very fortunate as well to have a very understanding team behind me which were my top supporters, and they absolutely adore Aria. 

Besides all of the work I needed to attend to, cuddles and a napping child were on my top priority list as well. I mostly worked from my couch today, which I excuse to my child being needy because she wasn’t feeling well but I would be lying to say that I just didn’t want to leave her side as well. For a while, it was mostly just the two of us together navigating through the world with no idea or plan in mind. 

Before I knew it, it was close to 5:00 PM and Harry said he will be here in less than an hour. While Aria was sleeping and I was on my “lunch” break earlier I was able to sneak in some dishes, laundry and a quick shower. My unruly hair from this morning was washed and maintained and I was able to apply the lightest layer of make-up. My outfit of choice for this gathering we were about to have was a pair of basic black leggings, paired with an oversized sweatshirt. 

“Mommy, do you know when Daddy will be here?'' She adores her father, a total daddy’s girl. I wish it didn’t make me jealous but knowing that he is her favorite person pulls at my heartstrings a bit. 

“ I think he’ll be here shortly, Bubs. Why don’t we get you changed in your comfy pjs so when daddy gets here, you guys can watch a movie?”

I gave Aria a quick bath to help her fever settle down. Her fever has been on and off for most of the day; but it seems as though it was getting back to normal for the last hour. She picked out her favorite waffle knit pajamas to wear with the pink and red hearts. She swore up and down that they were her movie watching pajamas & that they were the most comfy for “lounging around”. By the time Aria and I made it back into the living room, Harry had arrived. 

I walked to the front door with Aria in my arms & by the time I opened the door she couldn’t jump into Harry’s arms quick enough. There he stood with his work attire on: a pair of dress pants and a button down shirt paired with his matching tie. The young frat boy has turned into a businessman, Harry followed in his fathers foot footsteps and is now a partner in his fathers law firm. His hair looks like it’s been freshly cut, but a few curls still peak out on the top. 

“ Hi Bubby, I’m so happy to see you.” A smile is plastered across Harry’s face, he’s always been a proud father. He always says that Aria lights up his world, and that she in fact saved him and has made him a better man. The same smile he gives Aria, is a similar smile that he used to shine at me, those pearly whites were once my weakness. 

-

Harry so kindly brought over Chinese for the 3 of us, the three of us scattered on my dining room table. Harry and Aria spike up most of the conversation, Aria tells Harry all the letters and colors that she’s learned at school so far and what she thinks her classmates worked on today without her. It amazes me watching the two of them interact together, it’s almost as if I’m seeing double: Aria is so much like Harry in so many different ways: between their smiles, the way their nose scrunches up while them are really focused in on what the other is saying, to they way they chew at the the same time or how they both furrow their brows the same exact way. 

-

After dinner, I excused myself to flip some laundry as well as clean the kitchen up from the day's mess. Harry and Aria are now sprawled out in the living room watching Lilo and Stitch, Aria is laid out in between Harry’s legs, with her back to him while his hands are laid in her lap. Every so often I catch Aria holding her fathers hand and even planting kisses on them. Aria’s love and admiration for her father makes Harry a little bit more bearable, he is someone I will always love but I fell out of love many years ago after everything he had put me through: the lies, the cheating, the girl, the uncertainty… It was all just too much. 

-

It’s a little after 8:30 PM now, Aria fell asleep watching the movie with Harry and he insisted he would take her to bed and do her nightly routine with her which consists of cuddles and reading a book, if we ever skip this step she never has a good night's rest. I hear soft snores coming from her bedroom which indicates that Harry can handle her nightly bedtime routine and he will be leaving shortly, which allows me some alone time before the end of the day. 

- 

“ She’s fast asleep now…” a soft smile has taken form on Harry’s tired face. 

“ Looks like she isn’t the only one that needs to be put to bed” I begin walking him to my front door, to kindly let him know that I would like for him to leave, however, he asks if we can have a talk. 

Harry and I walk back over to my living room as I take a seat on my sectional and he sits across from me. The expression on his face indicates that he’s nervous and is testing the waters out before he opens his mouth. 

“ I’ve been seeing someone…” is what he blurts out with. “I’ve been seeing her for a while now and I would like to know if it’s okay if I introduce her to Aria.” His words take me by surprise, one of our initial rules was that we would not introduce Aria to anyone unless we thought it was serious and up until now it had not come up. For whatever reason, his confession stings a little bit. I was under the impression that Harry wasn’t really into keeping anything serious or that’s at least what his mother gossips to me about. Anne and I always had a very close relationship, even after everything that had happened between Harry and I. 

“Uhmmm, yeah…” my heart starts pounding a little quicker than usual and I’m hoping Harry can’t hear it. 

“ Her name is Elizabeth, she works in the same building as I do at the accounting office across the hall from my law firm… she’s the receptionist there. She’s really great, and makes me really happy. I’d like for them to meet this weekend… I’m going to my parents for dinner and they’ll be meeting Elizabeth for the first time too.” 

“ Har, I’m happy to hear you’re happy. If you feel as though this is someone you would like to introduce Aria to, then go ahead… under one condition.” I can see Harry’s once anxious demeanor break and a look of curiosity takes over him. 

“Under no circumstances and I mean none, are you to have any sleep overs with this girl while Aria is there. If I find out from our daughter that you had a woman sleeping over while she is there… I promise you Harry, I will raise hell.” A slight nod is always I get out of him before he speaks again. “ Understood… thank you.” Call me traditional, however, I don’t think it’s appropriate to have girls in and out of the house while our daughter is there.. Even if they are dating but knowing Harry, he can sometimes spin the truth. 

“I’m gonna go… I have a long day tomorrow.” I nod and get up to walk Harry out of my house. As we approach the door, I gently open it for Harry to walk through. 

“ Have a goodnight, Har. Thank you again for dinner.”

As Harry walks out my door and into his car, all I see is the young guy that I grew-up with and wonder how things went so wrong for us. My heart aches for what ifs? What if we did end up being the end game, would Aria be happier? Would I be happier? Would we have regular family dinners and have family vacations and family traditions?

“Liz, that is absolutely not true. I-I-I-I don’t even know what else to say right now, I feel as though I have said and done everything to prove to you that I am ready to move further with you and this relationship and it doesn’t seem like you’re listening to me.” I am starting to become irritated with this conversation now. I don’t know how many times I can tell one person that I love them and want to move forward with them but my life is complicated and it’s not as easy as she thinks. Her life compared to mine is much easier, she does not share a child with someone else, nor does she have to take someone else's needs into consideration, for all intents and purposes she could move across the country tomorrow if she wanted to and there would be nothing holding her back here. 

“Let me move in with you.” 

“What?” Her demand comes as a surprise to me. 

“Let me move in with you. If you're serious as you say then let me move in with you.” 

“Baby, you know it’s not that simple.” She knows that making this type of demand comes with a lot of planning and consulting with the mother of my child. She is fully aware of the agreement that Alena and I have and, again, I have someone else to think about in this situation. 

“See Harry… This is our problem - you always have to ask for permission from her before you can do anything with your life, well I am sorry, but I am not waiting around nor am I sharing our life with her." My patience is running thin at this point - she has no business nor right to make that statement, especially when I have been an open book with her about most of my wrong doings I have done in my life. Her words are spiteful. 

“ If that’s the case, then I don’t think it would be wise to continue seeing me then.” my chest is continuing to ache and my stomach is at the bottom of the pit currently. “ I have a beautiful daughter that I share with someone, and her mother is going to continue to be a part of my life in one way or another and if you can't accept that, then I don’t think we should continue this relationship we have.” 

“But Harry?” my words have obviously affected her, however, I am not going to make promises I can’t keep, she is aware of my circumstances and what comes along with being with me. I typically would have some empathy for her because she truly is a sweet and kind hearted girl but she is being spiteful and I am not going to allow her to try and gaslight me as if I am the problem. 

“Liz, I think it’s best you go inside and we revisit this conversation another time. I don’t want to argue about this, especially because my mind is not going to change on this.” And with that, she unbuckles herself from the passenger seat, gathers her belongings and gets out of my car. She did not mutter another word. I don’t know if this means that I won’t be hearing from her anytime soon or she’s just over this conversation. She is typically a very talkative and expressive person so her silence was sharp and knife-like. I watch her make herself into her apartment building and I wait until I see her living room light turn-on to signal that she has made it inside her apartment safely. 

As I drive off back toward my mothers house, instant regret and sadness over-fills me. I don’t understand how this day started off happy,to now being  most likely it's the end of our relationship. Elizabeth is the first girl that has really sparked something inside of me in a while, she was the total package but no matter how great she is - she has to accept the biggest part of my life, with the good and the bads and if she can’t do that then that's a deal breaker. 

- 

“Harry, dear, what's wrong?” I have just arrived back at my parents house to pick-up Aria but on the way here tears just began to spill out. I didn’t even shed this many tears when my daughter was born - how pathetic of me. 

“Mum, I really don’t feel like talking about it.” I scan the room but don’t spot Aria. 

“ Where’s my princess?” Aria really did save me. I truly believe that if it weren’t for her, I would be in a much darker place in my life. 

“She’s asleep…” my mum pulls out a chair from her kitchen table as do I and we both take a seat. My mum is sitting across from me and I can tell just from her facial expression the concern and worry she has for me now and will do her absolute best to pry out the truth from me. 

“ I think Elizabeth and I have broken up.” 

“W-What, Harry, I thought everything was going great between you two?” her face is now covered by confusion and worry. “For fuck sakes, Harry, I just met the girl tonight and you’ve already broken up with her?” She's now rubbing her temples with both hands. Her face is illuminated by the single dim kitchen light fixture, yet I can still see her facial expressions clear as day. 

“Mum… she was trying to give me an ultimatum that I can’t agree to.” 

“W-Well what was it? Not going out, not drinking, not smoking? What is it?” her ignorance is bliss, she’s talking out of her ass. 

“No, she asked, no, demanded she move in with me. She feels as though I am not devoting enough time to her and not making her a priority.” 

“Well is that true? Is she not a priority for you?” 

“She is - but she needs to understand that my daughter comes before anyone else. It’s not as easy as she may think it is.” This conversation is starting to irritate me, I don’t need to justify my reasonings for anything to anyone - not Liz and not even my mum. “My role as a father comes before my role as a boyfriend, and if she can’t accept that, then that’s on her.”

“ Harry, don’t be so harsh on the girl. I’m sure it’s difficult for her as well - sharing her time with someone else, a child that you share with someone else - a child that will have things come up and plans with said girlfriend may have to be rearranged.” My mother lays her hand on top of mine and gives it a squeeze. “Don’t be so stubborn, and don’t be so serious - I’m sure she didn’t say anything inappropriate about Aria.” 

“No, she did not.”

“Harry - I think you should leave Aria with me tonight - I will take her to your home so she can sleep in her own bed because it’s getting late and you get yourself together, go for a walk, stay here - I don’t care but you don’t come home to your daughter until you get yourself together.”

“Fine.” 

- 

After my mum left with Aria I did not go for a walk, nor did I stay at her house, I drove to the first place that I knew would help me get my mind off of things. I just valeted my car and made my way to the entrance of the building. 

“Styles! I haven’t seen you in a long time. What is going on?” Josh, an old buddy of mine is at the door, carding and greeting people into the establishment. Josh is a stocky guy, with dark brown hair and a bit of facial hair, he hasn’t changed much since I last saw him. 

“ Oh, you know, busy with life my man. I hope all is going well with you.” Josh is a great guy, no doubt about that, but after a few drinks one night he has professed to me that he didn’t feel like he had a purpose in this world, didn’t go to college, didn’t have any hobbies that motivated him besides women and drinking, which is why he most likely started at this place and unfortunately I don’t believe he will be leaving anytime soon. 

“ That’s great to hear man, hey, I’ll catch you inside after my shift if you stick around!” I swiftly nodded my head and flashed him a smile, but I’m hoping that I get one or two drinks in me, calm myself down and head back home to Aria, I am not trying to stay out all night - I can’t go back to my old tendencies. 

As I make my way through the double doors, then the vestibule, I am reminded of the familiar scenery and scent of this club. It’s one of the most popular clubs within the city, and it is the place to be. It’s constantly filled with beautiful single women waiting to be flirted with, taken care of and 9 times out of 10, be taken home and shown an even better time. I would be lying if I said I never partook in any of those activities, in fact I could probably count a few things that I’ve done in that private stall to the left of me. 

The bar seems to be occupied with people ordering and then making their way back to the dance floor, which fortunately enough for me means that there's a few empty seats at the bar. The same old bartender that’s been working here for the past few years greets me as she always has. 

“Hey there Stud, y’d like your usual?” She’s a petite woman, with short blonde hair and these piercing blue eyes, she really is a looker, her name is Shannon. When I first started to come around to this place, Shannon had just started working here and she was fresh to the scene, she was very naive at the time and was known to give some special “deals” while she was working during her shift. For instance, one random Saturday night she was flirting with me at the bar, had her pretty blue eyes keep batting away at me and her tits were pushed up to her chest and her ass cheeks were hanging out of her shorts the perfect amount and one thing led to another and we ended up in the bathroom, she gave me a blowie right then and there. For months I was fixated on the way her plump lips wrapped around my cock, so I kept coming back for more and more until I became fixated on someone else. 

“Yes, please.” 

“Where’ve you been Stud? I miss you.” She walks over to grab a glass and some ice to put vodka club in and as she walks by, I notice she has a similar pair of shorts on as she had on the night we had together in the bathroom. 

“I’ve been around - haven’t been getting out much.” She’s the last person that I want to discuss any personal dilemmas with. 

“You? Not getting out much? You’re either seeing someone or knocked someone up." She laughs at her own comments and walks away to assist another customer calling her name, but I’m sure she wouldn’t be laughing if she realized both were true. 

- 

I’ve been here for about 30 minutes and I’ve had roughly about 4 drinks. I had capped myself at two but drowning my thoughts and sorrows of the day with alcohol just feels too good. The alcohol has me feeling loose and calm, it almost feels as though all of my past, present and future problems have no meaning because I’m just in a state of serenity right now. I’ve been chatting with Shannon on and off while I’ve been sitting here at the bar, and she’s already offered twice to go into the bathroom and relive a past endeavor but I’ve declined twice. I may be drunk and emotionally unstable, but I am not stupid enough to do something I will regret once I am coherent again. 

I am just about to get up and go to the bathroom when I hear a familiar voice shouting up at me. 

“ Harry, where the hell is Aria?” It took me a second to realize who it is but once I do, I am shocked. Alena, the mother of my child, is standing right infront of me in the club. She looks immaculately and effortlessly beautiful, her dress is skin tight and leaves little to the imagination while making me feel a little over protective of her? Why is she even wearing something so tight? I can practically see her nipples, and her curves hug her dress in all the right places. I recognize this dress - she wore this dress once before and dare I say that she looks even better wearing it now. 

“What the hell are you even doing here and what are you wearing? You look silly.” I’m lying to myself and to her, because she doesn’t look silly, but I can’t let her know that I think she looks effortlessly gorgeous. 

“Harry, do not fucking play games with me. Where the hell is my daughter and why the hell aren’t you with her right now?” I tug her arm gently so she can take a seat next to me, so she isn’t shouting in front of everyone, but also if I stand up for one more second I may actually piss myself. 

“Relax, she’s at my house with my mum. I came out for a drink or two and headed home.” I don’t want her blowing this instance out of proportion but I know deep inside, being here while I am supposed to be caring for Aria is not the most responsible decision. 

“Harry, do not tell me to relax.” her cheeks are puffing out like they always used to when she was annoyed or frustrated with me. “Is this” she’s pointing around the club, “what you are  doing while she’s with you during the weekends?” 

“What the fuck - no. Do you think I’m that much of a piece of shit?” I can’t believe she thinks this low of me to assume that I am doing this every weekend while our daughter is at my house. I may have been a shitty partner, but I vowed to never be a piece of shit father who doesn’t care for his child. 

“ Don’t act like that would be so far-fetched. We both know what you’re capable of.” If I wasn’t already feeling like a horrible human being, this really is the icing on the cake. “Oh why thank you, because you’re the mother of the year - I apologize for not being as perfect as you.” the alcohol was starting to kick in and I wasn’t even aware of what was coming out of my mouth, however, I can tell by Alena’s expression she’s brewing with anger. 

“I’m not going to sit here and argue with you here, Harry. Enjoy your night, and don’t you worry about dropping Aria off in the morning - I’ll come pick her up bright and early.” I didn’t even know what to say next, so I didn’t even bother stopping Alena from walking away and apologizing to her for what I said. Before making matters even worse, I pay my tab, ask for a bottle of water and make my way home. 

-

I’m woken up by the sound of two little feet patting their way across my bedroom and soft sniffles. When I’m finally woken up, I pull Aria under my duvet and lay her next to me. 

“Bubs, what’s a-matter?” Her tear stained face nuzzles into my chest as she makes herself comfortable. 

“U-U-Uh I-I-I had a bad dream, and I’m scared.” Her broken voice breaks my heart, but I know this is normal for kids her age, she has a bad dream at least once a month while she is with me and we go through the same routine in which she comes and lays in bed with me and we fall back asleep together. 

“ T’s okay Bubs, you’re safe here with me now.” I can feel her drifting off to sleep and selfishly I’m thankful for that - when looking at the time on my phone it clearly read 5:23 AM. Which means I’ve only been asleep for roughly about 3 hours. After my interaction with Alena at the club, I was left so embarrassed that I sobered up as quickly as I could and drove myself back here. It wasn’t enough that Alena gave me a piece of her mind, but as soon as I got home my mum could smell the alcohol on my breath and I had to hear it from her as well. I was embarrassed beyond belief, but all I wanted to do after the night I had was check on my baby girl and then go to sleep. 

“I love you so much, daddy.” I could never get tired of hearing that. 

- 

I’m woken up again by the vibration of my phone. Alena texted and called me to notify me that she’s outside waiting for me to let her in, while getting out of bed doing my best to not wake up Aria I glanced over at my phone and see that it reads 7:38 AM, she wasn’t kidding when she said bright and early. I slip out of my pajama pants and slip on a pair of lounge shorts and make my way down my stairs and into my foyer to let Alena in. 

When I open the door, she’s standing there in a pair of leggings and a cropped t-shirt, her hair seems to be styled in the same waves that it was last night. Her face has now been washed away of all that make-up she had on last night, and she seems to have a softer aroma on her. 

“Where is she?” her demeanor doesn’t seem to have changed since last night. 

“She’s up in my bed asleep, she woke up about 2 hours ago because she had a bad dream. The only way she seems to fall back asleep is if she nestles herself into me.” I’m hoping the topic of our daughter and her unfortunate nightmare softens Alena up. 

“Yeah, she does the same with me too. She likes when I wrap my arm around her.” I lead her through the open-floor plan of my home and lead her to my kitchen island so I can make us some coffee. 

“Listen, Harry, I apologize for snapping at you last night the way I did. I shouldn’t have done that.” she has no reason to apologize here but as always, she has to be the bigger person. “It just really took me by surprise to see you there the way I did.” 

“There’s no reason for you to apologize, however, if you had allowed me to talk last night I would have gotten to the reason why.” I truthfully would have told her everything last night if she had allowed me to, but out of frustration, she let it out all at once. 

“ I was irresponsible last night, and after an argument I had with my now ex-girlfriend I needed to get out. I probably should have gone for a walk or even a drive - but I went somewhere that felt comfortable and went ahead of myself.” 

“Oh?” her eyes are fixated on me while I talk, which is something I admire most about her. No matter who is speaking to her, she makes it a point to make them feel like they are the most important person in the room and she is just absolutely transfixed with them. 

“ I’ll spare you the details, but, I think it’s important for you to know that she asked if she could move in here and I told her no, because my relationship with our daughter is more important to me than any romantic relationship I may encounter.” her face begins to soften, and she waits for me to complete my thought before she speaks up. 

“Harry, you don’t have to share the intimate details of your relationship with me.” 

“No I don’t, but I also don’t want you to think I would ever do something to jeopardize my relationship with Aria or make you feel uncomfortable.” The coffee pot chimes signaling it’s beginning to brew. I swing my weight onto my counter top, where I perch myself up. “I know you have your thoughts about me, and rightfully so, but I will do everything in my power to prove you wrong.” These words weren’t supposed to come out as threats, but more so as promises, because I promise to be the best father I can possibly be. 

“ I’ve never said anything negative about you to anyone, not to my friends, my parents, your mum, no one - especially our daughter.” 

“Yes, but I’m sure you’ve thought about it.” 

A gasp escaped her lips, “ Yeah, and I’ve also thought about marrying Leonardo DiCaprio but it doesn’t make it true.”

This playful banter is not common within our relationship, if that's what you would even call this - but it’s refreshing. 

For the next 30 minutes, we stayed sat like we are, drinking coffee and making small talk about Aria, my mum, her parents and just random news we’ve heard about in the world, sitting and having light-hearted conversations with Alena is different than our norm, but I’m happy we are moving in this direction even if it may be in very small increments. 

Aria woke up not too long after, and came downstairs searching for me but as soon as her eyes caught sight of Alena, it was game over for me - she attacked her mother with hugs and kisses and expressed how much she actually missed her. 

Shortly after, Alena and Aria made their way back home and I am left alone again with my own thoughts and contemplations on what I should do about my situationship. But, instead of dealing with it like an adult - I decide to take the high road and go upstairs and lay back in bed.