Behind These Walls, Part Four
summary: zuko agrees to an arranged marriage with the princess of the earth kingdom but their alliance comes with terms. the most tasking one: producing an heir within a year. the only problem is zuko isn't over his ex, and you hate his guts.
pairing: firelord!zuko x earthbender!reader
wc: 6.2k
angst but major fluff to make up for it, panic attack, hallucinations, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of death, abusive fathers, mention of suicide, series is not completely accurate to canon lore
queen charlotte au!! read part one , part two , part three
đâ đâ â Ëâ àŠâ Ëâ â đâ đ
firelady (name),
i trust the first weeks of your marriage have been favorable as you adjust to life in the fire nation. your brothers miss you very much, as do i. i wish i had the time to say more, but i needed this letter to reach you urgently.
your father, the king, will be visiting you soon. by the time you receive this, he would have left a day ago. i wish i could be there, but i was not allowed.
i am proud of the woman you have become.
your guardian,
ailin
you had crumbled the letter, seething with rage because it came too fucking late and your father stood in front of you in the palace's front courtyard.
he looked the same. tall, arrogant and every bit your twin which only served to further annoy you. he was dressed in his usual earth kingdom green and yellow, glasses low on his face, stupid fucking crown snug on his head. guards behind him stiff and on guard.
zuko stood beside you with a practiced calm to him, but you knew him enough to know he was just as annoyed as you were. the way his hands were folded in front of him, the too straight stance and the slight tick in his jaw.
he still hadn't forgotten the night your father squeezed your arm a little too tight and he still wanted to ring his neck. but he wasn't just your husband. he had to behave as the diplomatic firelord, but if your father tried any shit this time, zuko wasn't above reminding him that he wasn't always a reasonable person.
"king tian, it's a pleasure to see you again. though i am confused, we hadn't received word you would be visiting."
your father didn't even look at you when he spoke and maybe that was for the best, because unlike zuko, you weren't as good at hiding the emotion in your face. an unwavering glare etched in your features.
"we're family now, no need to be so formal!" he laughed, but it was false and made you feel uneasy. it was the laugh you feared as a child, the one that said he was fucking pissed and someone would answer for wronging him.
"besides, i figured I would check on my only daughter in person and see how marriage is treating her." yet he still refused to look at you.
that was bullshit, of course. you knew king tian cared for no one outside of himself and that he was here for something, or else he would have sent for you instead of coming himself.
there was nothing left to do but invite him in. it would be a nightmare if rumors spread that the earth king was denied entry into his own daughter's home. now you stood in one of the sitting rooms, feeling awkward as fuck as the last time you were alone with your father was when you were merely a princess and him, a king.
now you were firelady, a queen in your own right and you didn't know what to do now that you were on equal levels.
he walked to the window and stared at the public palace gardens as if in deep thought. he was quiet, so you stayed quiet. giving him the responsibility of starting the conversation he came here to have.
you fought the urge to bite your nails out of pure anxiety, reminding yourself that he was no longer your superior. wishing zuko didn't have important business to discuss with his council.
trying your best not to touch your belly.
"i'm only going to ask this once, firelady. is firelord zuko ill? do not lie to me."
your heart dropped. there was no way he could have known. zuko had never slipped far enough away from reality in public to raise concerns. from the outside looking in, the firelord was healthy and happily married, bringing about change to the nation.
you were going to lie, of course. zuko wasn't ill just because he was losing his sight in one eye. what the fuck was he going to do anyways? you weren't a little girl anymore.
"the firelord is well, though your concern is appreciated father. might I ask what brought this on?" you shift your balance from one foot to the other, stomach twisting in anticipation.
he was quiet again, save for a deep sigh that reeked of annoyance and disappointment. when he turned to face you, your fingers twitched at your side, ready to defend yourself if you needed to.
"why do you lie to me, child?" gone was the use of your title, his attempt at putting you in your place. in your own damned home.
"i do not lie. should i get my husband so you can ask him yourself? i'm not sure what brought this on but-"
"i heard rumors that his majesty brought his own healer to republic city. a waterbender from the northern tribe, can you believe it? i didn't think much of it at first but then a little bird told me something interesting. do you want to know what that is, (name)?"
you stayed quiet, pulse thumping hard against your neck. he continued anyways.
"i was told that at the celebration for that fraud of a city, the firelord looked distant all night and had a tremor in his hands. usually one could just blame it on nerves, but it wasn't that, was it? i seen it myself in the courtyard. he's good at hiding it but not well enough to fool me."
tears started to form in your eyes but you blinked them away. this isn't how today was supposed to go. you planned to tell zuko about the baby after dinner and then maybe have mind blowing sex, not whatever the hell this was.
you straighten and square your shoulders. "what do you want?"
"i'm simply visiting my daughter, is that so wrong? for a father to check on his child?"
you waited for him to continue, one eyebrow raised because now he wasn't being truthful. you wanted to bury him. instead, you turned to leave, bored of this game and fighting a wave of nausea that had been creeping up on you.
"oh! i'll also be staying for a few nights. what kind of father in law would i be if i didn't take matters of my son in law's health seriously? if you're being truthful then you have nothing to worry about. if not.. we'll be having a much harder conversation."
àŠ
"he knows." you told zuko later that night as you paced back and forth in your room after you both shared a bath, mind racing with unease. what would happen if the public found out? would they still accept zuko as their firelord or would others rise up to challenge him for the throne?
what would they do to you when they found you're carrying the heir of this nation? probably kill you to stop any future contesters to the throne.
zuko froze on the bed, eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he thought of what to say. he looks as shocked as you felt when you spoke to your father.
"what makes you think that?"
"i don't think that. he told me while you were in a council meeting, said someone saw you in republic city and told him. he's not here for pleasantries, he came to watch you zuko."
"fuck.." zuko whispered, hands turned over on his lap as he stared at them, watching how his fingers slightly shook. this is exactly what he was worried about. people would find out one day if the treatments stopped working, but he hadn't expected your father to be the one to discover his secret first.
he didn't know the man that well, but ozai had warned him that the earth king was not to be underestimated. he was nearly as conniving as koh the face stealer, and would do anything to ensure he stays in power.
not that ozai was any better, mind you. so for a young boy to hear that from his father, it made him unable to trust you in return. which is another reason why he shut you out when you were just children.
"i'm sorry." he whispered, running both hands down his face in hopes of hiding the way his cheeks were heating in response to the spike of fear he just felt.
tian is weaker than you. kill him before he kills you, fool. ozai's voice rang against his skull, agitating zuko even further.
you finally stopped pacing, face falling when you looked to your husband. his shoulders were slumped, eyes a little dark from the increase in treatments and lack of sleep.
you felt your soul cracking as you sat next to him on the bed. when he looked to you, you noticed a single tear fall from his right eye, breaking you further. this man..
"hey." you smile and place your hand on his cheek, shivering when he turns slightly to kiss your inner wrist, golden eyes locked on yours. "what are you apologizing for?"
he closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath before looking at you again. "this is embarrassing, love. you deserve a husband that's whole, not.. not whatever my father has made me."
and you became overwhelmed with the urge to harm anyone that has ever wronged zuko. anyone that had a hand in making this perfect man feel so incredibly insecure.
"i deserve you, zuko. i want only you, you got that?" your heart skips a beat at the way he's holding your gaze. "i'm right where I want to be and we will handle my father and anyone else that thinks to question your rule. i won't leave your side, i vowed it remember?"
of course he did. you looked so nervous that day, so sheltered and so fucking beautiful in your green wedding dress. your lips set in a small pout when you thought no one noticed,
but zuko did. he always noticed you, how could he not? from the moment he kissed you after slipping that ringer on your finger, he knew he was fucked.
"i love you." he said it before he could convince himself not to. taking your hand from his face and placing it over his heart, your eyes wide as your breath picked up. zuko took the opportunity to move to his knees in front you, a sight his advisors would have a stroke over.
the firelord on his knees for a woman? it was blasphemy, it broke every tradition he'd ever been taught. zuko didn't care, staring up at you like the devout husband he would always be. utterly yours.
"i have never loved anyone the way that i love you. i would commit the most unforgivable of crimes to keep you safe and by my side. there is no me with you, love. ever since that day-"
he chokes up and you take the opportunity to reach your hand toward a loose strand of hair, pushing it from his face and tucking it behind his ear. it was your turn for your hand to shake. skin covered in goosebumps as his words knocked the wind from you.
"zuko.." you whispered, ready to stay those three words back. for him to know that this feeling was far from unrequited.
"just.. let me finish. i need you to understand how much you mean to me."
and you let him. staying quiet until he found the strength to finally speak again, his eyes never wavering as they held you hostage. he had only ever stared this long when you weren't looking, so afraid of showing how much of his heart you owned. afraid you'd realize that he was a fuck up and force an annulment.
you never did, not even after discovering his secret. he never needed to hear the word, your actions alone proved to him everyday that you felt just as he did. that he wasn't a fool and his father's lingering voice had been wrong.
"lay back. please"
and you did. your heart pounding aggressively, mind in a tizzy as zuko kissed his way up your body. starting at your feet, moving to your legs, inner thighs, skipping your aching cunt, and stopping at your lower belly where he nuzzled his nose against your gown. placing delicate kisses against your stomach like he knew his child was in there. fatherly instincts kicking in before he even realized.
you were flushed and moved to sit up before his hand gently pushed you back down,
"zuko, i have to tell you-"
"i know, love."
what?! you tried to sit up again but he pushed you back down, a child like giggle leaving his mouth. he placed a final kiss to your belly and continued moving up your body, skipping your breasts and placing a soft kiss to the pulse on your neck, your nose, eyebrows, beautiful eyes, soft cheeks..
he was going to burst with the amount of pure, raw love he had for you. hovering above you, his back to the world as he locked himself in the bubble that contained only him and you.
"you know? i don't understand." you whisper, eyes burning from incoming tears. he couldn't have known. you didn't tell him and made the physicians swear on their honor that they wouldn't say a word.
he smiled at you, soft and true. the back of his hand grazing your face as he lost himself in your eyes. you spread your legs, letting his body settle between them.
"you forget that i know you, (name). you've yet to bleed as long as you've been here. you're tired even after sleeping in, eating the oddest foods, and you throw up almost daily. i'm a man love, not an idiot. though... i guess the two aren't that far off." he laughed at his own joke, forcing a light smile from you.
"i realized some time after we returned from republic city. was just giving you the opportunity to tell me yourself."
you couldn't stop the tears then. bottom lip poking out and all, you let the worry you'd been holding in your body disappear. zuko meant it when he said he notices you. in ways no had ever before. not even your guardian. especially not your father.
zuko's heart and eyes were for you only and you didn't know what to do with that amount of love, so you pulled his face down to yours and kissed him.
his laugh of surprise was muffled against your mouth before he relaxed against you, sticking his tongue out for access. which you readily gave, his moving in sync with yours. not a fight of dominance but a dance of passion and truths finally spoken out loud.
he pulled back, leaning his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath.
"i love you too zuko, more than anything in this world." you whispered and zuko was only a man, so you couldn't blame him that the words went from settling in his heart and straight to his dick.
but as much as he wanted to fuck you into a stupor, tonight was for something else. he was going to worship the body that was now creating life. his child. the thought that you now held half of him inside of you making his head spin with a possessiveness he never felt before.
"gonna show you how much you mean to me, love. need you to feel it."
and he did. from the way he took his time removing your nightgown, hands caressing every inch of your body. to the moment he was finally pushing his cock inside of you, slow and composed, watching as your face twisted in pleasure.
he didn't move for a minute, just stared at you until you lifted your hips in an attempt to get him to move. he rested his forehead against yours, "eyes on me, love. remember?" and when he finally moved, you were dazed, legs weak and twitching against the strong arms that held them.
zuko made love to you just like that. his cock moving painfully slow, eyes never leaving yours until you clenched around him, orgasm washing over you in soft waves. and when zuko finally came with a small grunt, hot cum painting your squishy walls as he pushed every drop into you, his mind wandered.
he mostly thought about the fact that you were now carrying his child. a small piece of him and you, his hopes and dreams manifested. and that he would burn the world to keep you both safe.
àŠ
you spent the next day avoiding your father, only seeing him at the small banquet zuko held, a dinner to strengthen relations with the clans of the fire nation and keep them loyal. things had been going well. you were laughing at a joke zuko told to one of the leaders when you looked to the door of the great hall, where your father stood.
just watching, like a fucking creep. it sent chills up your spine but you decided to ignore him and his look of fury. zuko hadn't noticed and you weren't about to make him aware either. this night was important to him.
"yuki, you must tell me again about that time my uncle got so drunk that he challenged a statue to agni kai and apologized when he lost."
the large man laughed excessively. going on to explain that he was just a boy when it happened but..
you frown at zuko's tight grip on your hand under the table. his stare was becoming distant again, though he hadn't received any treatment today. your body instantly filled with panic, especially when you noticed your father was still standing there. eyes now narrowing, locked on your husband.
zuko wasn't at the banquet. instead, he was deep in a memory of one of the only times he talked to you as a child.
"why do you always have that look on your face? do i look funny or something?" you glared back at the brooding prince beside you. he was petting the ducks in the courtyard before you showed up, interrupting his peace. azula and her friends had just been there, teasing him for acting girly because he liked to give the animals attention.
they were stupid. all girls were, even the pretty ones like you.
"no, i just want to be alone." he grumbled, even more annoyed now that the baby ducks were waddling back to the pond to their mother.
"oh. well, i don't want to be here either so you don't have to be rude to me. father says we should try being friends." zuko was baffled by your straightforwardness. you were always quiet when your father was around. he wondered if yours treated you the same way his did.
"no. i don't want to be friends with a girl." he huffed, turning his back to you so he didn't have to see your face. you were very pretty and he didn't like that his face warmed when he saw you. he also didn't want you to notice that it upset him when you said you didn't want to be there. even though zuko knew he'd done nothing to make you want to be around him.
"fine! but one day i'll be your wife and you'll have to be nice to me because we'll have children together. idiot." he listened as you stood and kicked some rocks before stomping off.
zuko blinked the memory away, looking down at you placing his hand against your dressed belly. he felt ashamed for the way he treated you when you were children. that was the last time he saw you before he was burned and banished.
now here you were. his wife and carrying his child, even more beautiful than you were that day. he didn't have much time to ponder on this though, as yuki was finishing his tale of young iroh. but he subtly rubbed your belly hidden by the table, giving you a grateful smile that you retuned. relief flooded him that it seemed no one had noticed his mind disappeared.
when he finally talked to enough of the clan leaders, he stood after taking a small sip of wine. his arm stretched toward you, head titled with a grin on his face.
"wife. care to share a dance with me?" your smile was big and bright as you remembered the first time he'd ever asked you to dance with him. it was at your wedding, but back then you'd wanted nothing more than to run away. to climb over the wall that surrounded the palace and take up a new life somewhere no one could find you.
you eagerly took his hand and he was quick to pull you into his arms. you spent the rest of the banquet that way: glued to each other as if the world might end if you separated.
àŠ
the morning your father was due to leave, you found yourself checking on your hybrid flowers. a mixture of fire and day lilies. a gift you had been working on for zuko. it took you a while to return here, anxiety still flaring up with memories you'd rather forget.
but your relationship with zuko had changed drastically since that day, and because you'd rather be anywhere than around your father, you declined showing up for his departure. feigning sickness.
the flowers were stunning. they had bloomed into a shade of blood red at the center, fading to orange and white with petals that were shaped like flames. thin stalks stuck out on each side, green and orange and every bit ethereal.
the flower was strong, just like your marriage was and you couldn't help but feel grateful that your father had sold you off to the fire nation.
back in the front courtyard, zuko was seeing your father off. the king looked like he could care less when he told him that you were feeling ill and couldn't make it. it took an incredible amount of strength for zuko to not scream at him for being a terrible father. the only difference between him and ozai was that he hadn't physically scarred you.
zuko sighed in relief when the man finally turned to leave before he turned back as if he had forgotten something, looking the firelord up and down as if he were judging him. deciding if he were good enough for you, as if you weren't already his wife in every way possible. tough shit.
"they call it fire madness and it's rare. if i had known you had it, i wouldn't have married my daughter off to you."
zuko paused. what the fuck was he talking about? he had never heard of "fire madness" but was sure this had to do with him knowing something was off with zuko.
"you look surprised, son in law. a well kept secret i suppose, though i feel it is not my place to tell you. that would be for your father to explain, as his father suffered from it as well. we all know what happened to azulon's wife."
"what are you talking about tian? speak plainly, my head hurts and i have duties to attend to." zuko feigned annoyance when he actually felt terrified. what did the earth king know about his grandfather that zuko didn't?
he felt the blood drain from his face, suddenly cold despite his ability to warm himself, as your father stared menacingly at him. "as i said, it is for your father to explain. i was merely here to observe, as i'm sure my dear daughter has already told you."
he moved closer to zuko, a little shorter so the firelord still stood above him. though he felt like a child again, ignorant and unaware of the secrets that haunted his family.
"i will tell you this: i may be old and weaker than i once was but if you lose yourself around (name), and you harm her, I won't hesitate to create a sinkhole big enough to swallow your entire kingdom. take care, firelord, and do tell my daughter her absent was noticed."
zuko couldn't even process the threat before the earth king was riding away. he didn't stop as he turned and stormed into the palace, ordering an airship be readied before he found you in the gardens.
he watched from afar as you lifted a flower to your nose and inhaled with a smile on your face. his hand twitched as his vision slowly blurred in his left eye.
shame ate away at him. zuko knew he would never intentionally harm you, but hadn't he grabbed you a little too tight when he found himself trapped in a memory? what if he went too far and did worse than that?
how was he going to protect you and the baby in this state? he was seeing things, mind disappearing without his permission and losing his vision at the same time. if anyone had answers, it would be his father.
zuko didn't falter as he backed away so you wouldn't see him, heart set on visiting sakari then his father. unsure if he should be relieved that tian thinks he's losing his mind instead of his vision.
a few hours later, he stood in front of the cell that hosted his father, guards sent to wait outside. ozai was much older than he had once been, grey hair taking over the black zuko shared with him. he was still menacing, broad shoulders and soulless eyes.
still a piece of shit.
it made zuko sick seeing his father in his red prison garments, a sly smirk on his face as he watched him through the bars. the very fact that his abuser lived while his uncle, the only man that had ever been a father to him, was dead, made him rage inside.
he wanted to set fire to the man, watch him turn to ash just as his uncle did. instead he swallowed the unwanted rage, masking any emotions lest ozai try to manipulate them to his favor. as he often did on the rare event that zuko visited.
you are a better man than he is. do not lose yourself son. this time it was his uncle he heard. but he wasn't there and he reminded himself of that fact as he stepped forward, not allowing his mind to deter him.
"firelord zuko, congratulations on your marriage to the earth kingdom whore. i suppose you have me to thank for that. have you come for advice on how to bed a woman properly?"
in a flash, zuko had his hand through the bar and wrapped around ozai's neck as he yanked his body forward, muscles flexing under his robe as he squeezed. he allowed his hand to heat up, hot enough to remind the former firelord that he was in fact still powerless, but not enough to scar him.Â
"if you ever speak of my wife again, in any kind of manner, i will have your tongue ripped from your head. do you understand?"
ozai only smiled, pride written across his aging face before he nodded once. zuko dropped him to floor, wiping his hand on his robes as if touching him was a sin and he'd gotten his hands dirty.Â
"now tell me of this fire madness."
the smile was wiped from ozai's face, eyes wide as he slowly stood to stare at his son. his jaw was clenched, fist balled tight before he composed himself.Â
"where did you hear that from? it is not a thing, a rumor meant to make fire benders look bad." his voice was roughened by time, but still clear.Â
"you're a lying bastard. tell me the truth of grandfather and his wife. what actually happened and what does it have to do with fire madness?" zuko was losing the little patience he had, wishing he were in bed with you right now. sealing yourselves behind your walls and losing himself in you.
ozai's sinister smile returned. "surely you didn't come here thinking i would freely give up information out of the goodness of my heart."
zuko huffed, standing just a little taller as he pointed to his left eye. "we both know you lack a heart, the only thing you've ever cared about is power and your image. what do you want?"
ozai glared at his son, moving closer to the bars. "and will you honor what i ask of you?"
"yes." zuko grumbled. obviously he wouldn't be doing that, he wasn't born yesterday. but he also wasn't above occasionally lying to get what he wanted.
"it begins slowly," ozai started, turning his back to zuko as his chains rattled with every move. "sleeplessness, irrational rage, the visions.. yes, my father had it, as did his grandfather. he would speak to people who weren't there, make claims that he could see the dead, and often he'd be silent. staring into the distance as if he were lost to his own mind. disgracing me whenever he got the chance. then he killed my mother during an episode."
"i had no choice but to kill him myself, though no one knew that until now."
zuko felt his stomach twist. no matter how much good he did, ending the one hundred years war, working with the avatar to build republic city, bringing true reform to the fire nation.. he would always lose in the end.
he was doomed from the day he was born.
"no one has survived it, that is all i know. as for my favor, i only ask one thing. kill yourself before it gets worse and you ruin my image. i see the look in your eyes, you can't hide from me. you look just as my father did and i will not be known for siring a mad firelord."
but zuko wasn't paying attention to him. too lost in the thought of ending up like his grandfather, of killing you while his mind was in a memory. he was going to be a father. what if his grandchild inherits this curse? he would have let his line die if he'd known of this.
when he turned to leave, the last thing he heard was "i did care for you, once. when i believed you would be anything more than a disappointment."
àŠ
by the time zuko returned home, you were fast asleep. it wasn't late but growing a child was exhausting and often made you more drowsy than usual.
he ordered a bath in his own room that night, sinking into the hot water as he contemplated everything his father told him. there was no cure, ozai had killed his own father after he'd kill his wife. was that to be zuko's fate as well?
no, he wouldn't let it get to that point. he would put himself out his misery before he harmed a hair on yours or his child's head.
that night, he slept in his bed. and the day after that too, trying his best to avoid you. until one afternoon, you found him hiding under his bed. he had been suffering from memories all day and his eye was beginning to blur again but he was too far gone to take care of it.
you were a beautiful storm of rage, barging into his room and demanding he explain his lack of presence. "I know you're in here zuko, yuri told me she saw you. where are you?"
you waited a minute, wondering if your lady in waiting had been wrong and you were talking to an empty room. then you heard it, the smallest sniffle coming from his bed.
his empty bed.
"i'm sorry." his voice followed.
you frowned, moving closer as you unclenched your fists as the sound of despair in his voice, heart squeezing. "zuko? where are you?" you moved around his bed, confusion written all over you before you looked down.
was he.. under the bed? you took in a deep breath before leaning over, lifting the skirt of the bed and looking under. and there he was. your husband, firelord of an entire nation, hiding underneath his bed.
you got on your knees to get a better look at him. he looked disheveled, hair a mess, wearing a light robe and pants without a shirt, under his eyes dark from a clear lack of sleep. face stained with dried tears.
"zuko? what are you doing under here, love? please come out."
"i can't. you should leave.. please."
fat chance in hell your were doing that. annoyed with his stubbornness and still wanting to help, you slid under the bed next to him. frowning when he flinched as your shoulder bumped into his. he moved away, creating space between the two of you.
"zuko, what happened? have i done something wrong?" insecurity bit at you. you don't remember anything happening, perhaps he was upset that you left him to deal with your father alone.
"i am hiding. my memories can't reach me here."
memories? you hadn't a clue what he was talking about, but you grabbed his hand anyway, squeezing when he tried to pull away. "tell me what's been bothering you, yeah? you can be truthful with me zuko, i'm on your side."
he sighed, his hand shaking with a strong force. you didn't let go, only held him tighter. heart in knots at his state, wishing you do more to help him.
"you shouldn't be here."
you laughed because what else were you supposed to do? he sounded ridiculous. "you're my husband, where else would i be?"
he looked at you for a moment, breaths uneven until they calmed down, turning softer before he stared back up at the bed. he was quiet again, like he was gathering up the courage to tell you something.
"sometimes.. i-i see things that are not happening." zuko planned to keep this from you when he thought the voices and hallucinations were merely a side affect of the treatment he got for his eye. until his father told him of fire madness and he knew you had the right to know, carrying his child who could potentially pass it onto their own.
"what do you mean?" you voice wasn't judgmental despite your concern, wanting only to understand so you could find a way to help him.
"i visited my father today."
you swallowed hard. sometimes you forgot that ozai was still alive, rotting in a cell in capital city prison. waiting out his day when he deserved death.
"tell me."
zuko closed his eyes, his left one twitching as his vision continued to blur. it seemed so small compared to the fate that awaited him.
"he told me of my grandfather, firelord azulon. how he killed my grandmother while he was lost to his mind. slowly being consumed by what they call fire madness. my family's greatest secret really."
he gave a dry chuckle, but you stayed quiet. afraid of what he was hinting at, but already knowing in your heart what he was going to say next.
"turns out it skips a generation, so my father never had to worry about it. never told me either, keeping me in the dark like he has my entire fucking life."
you were still silent so he continued, fighting away the voices that had been screaming at him all day. "i thought it was because of my treatments. the faces I'd been seeing, memories my brain brought me back to, and the voices. they've gotten so much louder, love. can't even hear myself think sometimes."
you went still, hand loosening it's grip on his. you weren't mad at him, so far from that. you hated that he continued hiding himself from you, even after you'd both said those three words to each other. you bit your lip before sliding closer to him.
he was rigid, but let your shoulder touch his. "i am not whole, and i am sorry. if you wish to leave i would understand and I wouldn't stop you."
"why would i do that? you are my husband and I said my vows." you were scared. fucking terrified and doing your best to hide it but zuko was stuck with you wether he liked it or not.
"what if i forget who i am one day? I can't ask you to-"
"then I will remind you, and if you forget me then i will help you find me again. even if we have to hide under this bed for that to happen. I won't leave you zuko."
it took him a minute to finally squeeze your hand back but that was okay. you already had yours and zuko's schedules cleared for the rest of the day, so you were willing to stay hidden for as long as it took for him to feel safe again.
you would hide from his mind together.
"you and me, husband."
"you and me, wife."
đâ đâ â Ëâ àŠâ Ëâ â đâ đ
note: one more part and this story will be complete! lemme know what you guys think :')
zuko taglist
taglist: @nihoshi17 , @cloudyzip , @magnol1aaa3 , @lazylionlady, @mochi-bear24, @needsumcomfypillowstosleep , @nutellaenjoyer, @babygirl-panda19, @killinkiwi, @tiredslepz , @alebrasil0101 , @stxrrielle , @witchbybirth , @warlike-morning , @bakugouswh0r3 , @thestupidgirlakira , @primroseluna, @dizzy-dandelion , @mutsu422 , @isagistar , @scaraenthusiast1 , @tati-the-fangirl , @bbubbllejisoo , @thisiswhereishitpostalot , @weirdostereo , @sleeplessskeleton , @harrysgoldenbum, @neilart@choochootrain3 , @kayswatanabe , @sleeeepybee@tangerineflavouredfentanyl , @crystalcrush , @littlelambs-stuff , @eaturbucky , @freakyjellyf1sh , @michellelovesfrank , @rosieposiediditagain , @orphicfeels , @gretavankleep37 (tags are closed!)













