#dad!teacake

Not only did you move back to your home town and into the trailer your mom had left behind, but you also survived your own pregnancy and labor without anyone by your side. Your choice. Well, partially. Your mother and stepfather had eventually found out, but things were so tense between all of you that they’d only met your daughter once. 

At least you got a free house out of it. 

Charlotte Rose Meacham. For the longest time you were sure she’d get your last name, but at the last second you had changed your mind. Despite everything that happened and your own stubbornness, you couldn’t deny that you missed him. That even now your heart breaks just a little more when you’d think of him. 

Which seemed to grow worse everyday. She looked just like him. Her lips were shaped in the same way, she had the same big hazel eyes, and same shaped face. The only thing she really seemed to get from you was your nose.

Nineteen Months had gone and came. That had been Travis’s sentence and against your better judgement you had kept up with it too. He was awarded no bond, no nothing. At first you wanted to send him letters, anything really. But you knew that would be too hard, that things would never really change unless you let go. 

So you did. For the both of you. 

Charlotte had been born and had her first birthday all within the span of his sentence. And now she is turning two. Her imagination was loud and creative, and she was just as chatty as her daddy had been. Stories were always shared, jokes told daily. 

You hoped and prayed every night that you were doing the right thing. That she would be happy and raised better than you and Travis ever had been. 

“You look so cute,” you cooed as you knelt down towards her, grinning at the way she bashfully swayed back and forth, “are you ready for the park?”

“Yeah,” Charlotte giggled as she stood on her tippy toes, crinkling her nose up before she gave you a sloppy kiss on your cheek, “go wee?” She questioned, hazel eyes flashing up at you curiously as you bit back a laugh. You knew that meant she wanted to go on the slide, but you couldn’t help but giggle at the other meaning too. 

“Yeah, we can go wee,” you confirmed as you lifted her onto your hip, holding onto the diaper back on the other side, “and then we’ll have our picnic and get some ice cream.” You told her excitedly, wincing a little at how loud she squealed and clapped her hands. 

You were having a bigger birthday party for her this weekend when your friends and hers would be off to come and celebrate. For right now this was fine. Even though it was just you two, you savored moments like this. One day she’d be grown and wouldn’t find you as cool. 

For now she loved humming along and singing all of the wrong words to your favorite songs, and she thought that your movies were the absolute best. Not to mention, you were the best at playing Barbie’s with her. 

But you were human, and sometimes your mind wandered to what life could’ve been. Travis, at one point, would’ve been a great fucking dad. Maybe he still would be. You just wouldn’t know.

You swallowed that thought as you pulled into the park, taking the time to gather up your water bottle, the diaper bag swinging against your back as you lifted her against your hip again. She babbled the entire time, holding her stuffed bear and sippy cup against her chest as you searched for a shady area to take shelter in for when she got too hot.

“Pwetty,” Charlotte commented once you’d ensured that she was ready to play, her little hand wrapped around your fingers, “mommy I go up.” She stated in a matter of fact way, making you nod as you held your arm out so she could climb the steps to the playset.

Her legs were still a little too short as she put her hands in front of her, huffing as she used her whole body to climb up the five steps. You pulled your phone out as you watched her go, tongue stuck out in concentration.

“Wee!” A loud shriek left her lips as she went down the slide, giggling with her eyes scrunched in delight. You laughed as you caught her, tickling her little tummy as she brought her hands up against her chest. 

That was how the majority of your afternoon went. You slid down with her a few times, and pushed her on the swings among other little activities. But the slide was definitely her favorite. As soon as your sandwiches had been eaten, she was right back to going down it again. 

You looked away for one second. One damn second to refill her sippy cup and that was all it took for Charlotte to wander off. A panic spread through you, your stomach twisting in a nauseating manner as fear gripped you tightly. Your heart was racing, palms sweaty as you rushed forward as you did your best to keep from breaking down completely.

Calm. You had to be calm to find her. If you were frantic you wouldn’t think straight.

“Charlotte? Charlotte! Where did you go?” Your voice was trembling as you spoke, your nerves shaking you uncontrollably as you quickly did a circle around the playground. Nothing. 

There were a few picnic tables nearby, another set of swings and a bathroom. Up the hill there was a track, and another large playground for bigger kids. Not to mention the forest behind all of that. She could’ve gone anywhere.

“Charlotte! It’s not funny anymore. Mommy needs to know where you’re at.” You searched what was closest to you to begin with, before you began to trek up the hill.

“Mommy!” Charlotte’s squeaky little voice carried over the hill as she trudged her little body down, grinning from ear to ear like she was meeting an old friend. She looked up to her left, but you paid no mind to the person she was clinging to. 

“Charlotte! Oh my God. You scared me. Where did you go? Why did you leave?” You were in front of her within seconds, cupping her face and ensuring that she was not hurt in any manner. She continued to giggle, like this was silly to her.

“Hide, mama. We pway!” She told you simply, like it was that easy. You shook your head softly.

“You can’t run off without me. We weren’t playing hide and seek. You scared me.” Your voice was still trembling with fear as she tilted her head in confusion, her hazel eyes sparkling in confusion. Your poor sweet baby had no idea the panic she’d just caused. 

“I didn’t-, well,” electricity pulsed down your spine, butterflies fluttering in your tummy at the familiar tone, “I didn’t know you had fu- friggin’ kids. Wow. It’s been a while.”

Travis. Fuck.

Oh fuck.

You suddenly wished you could bury your head into the sand and disappear, your tongue tied as you stared up at him in disbelief. Your brows slightly furrowed together as you fought for something to say, speechless. 

Travis, as always, looked handsome. More handsome than what was fair. His hair was longer than you remembered, most of it bleached except for his dark roots. It framed his face nicely, just barely covering his earrings. He looked tan, like he’d spent a lot of time out in the sun recently. 

His white shirt was smooth against his body, slightly baggier at his waist than at his tummy. He looked like he had gained a few pounds, not quite as slim in the middle as you had remembered. Not that it bothered you at all, or that it was bad.

It was actually pretty attractive.

Fresh ink was decorated on his neck and on his arm. Howdy was written down across the curve of his neck, a snake along his arm. You could tell by the markings that neither of them are professional, much like the little ones you had given one another once upon a time. 

He had the first initial of your name, and you had the first initial of his name. Both were placed on the side of your ankles. A small memory.

And now he was standing in front of you, his pink lips curled into an awkward smile as he began to speak again, breaking the tension.

“I mean-, I heard her come up and she was looking for you and what not. I guess it’s good that she was looking for you and not like just running away on purpose. She’s real sweet. You’ve done a great job raising her,” he nodded his head quickly, “it’s nice to see you again. Wow. Hey. You look-, you look great.” 

“Hi, Travis,” you finally rose as you held onto Charlotte, lifting her onto your hip. You wondered if he’d gotten a good look at her as you shifted her again, trying to keep her face hidden, “it’s good to see you too. Thanks for bringing her back to me, we were just leaving.”

“No wee?” Charlotte looked at you crestfallen, her little bottom lip pouting out as she looked as if you’d just ripped her heart from her chest. 

“I uh, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” Travis held his hands up innocently as he looked at you with his eyes. God, those beautiful hazel eyes still made you weak to your knees, “hey, I actually have been wanting to see you actually. I mean talk to you-, about shit that happened before I was arrested and-,”

“Travis!” A little girl rushed forward, her brown curls pulled into little buns as she launched herself at him, giggling at the way her arms easily wrapped around him. She was comfortable with him, like she knew him too well, “mommy said hurry.” 

Oh God.

Your heart sank at the sight in front of you, a nauseating feeling gripping you as you felt your heart shattering all over again. It broke unevenly into large and tiny shards at your feet as you did your best to compose yourself, fully knowing what this meant.

He’d moved on. Just like he was allowed to do. You made the decision for the both of you, you couldn’t be upset that he had found his own path. 

“This is Sarah, she’s six.” Charlotte leapt forward first, waving as she babbled off her name and a hundred different things. You bit down on your bottom lip, giving her a little nod and smile. 

“Let’s go, mommy’s waiting.” Sarah continued to tug on Travis’s hand, laughing even harder as he reached down to tickle her sides. You turned away as you shifted Charlotte on your hip, slowly beginning to take a step back. Maybe this would be a good time to make your escape. 

“Okay, I’ll be right there. Give me one minute, I’ll be so quick.” He promised as he quickly glanced at you, beginning to move in your direction. 

“Please!” You felt awkward, unsure of what you should do. You did not want to have this conversation with him, but you didn’t want to be rude either. 

“She say I baby.” Charlotte told you as you hummed in agreement, turning to fully face her. She looked like she didn’t know how to handle that information. 

“I’ll be done before you race to your mommy and back.” He promised as you felt your chest aching all over again, reminding yourself of what might have been. Still, there was no guarantee that he would’ve wanted this life with you. He was certainly happier than the last time you’d seen him. 

“Okay, go!” Charlotte giggled as she watched Sarah take off, looking very amused with her movements. She probably wished she could join but you had no plans of letting her go ever again. 

Travis turned towards you, eyes sparkling in the sunlight as everything that had been unsaid continued to pulse between the both of you. You shifted, smiling as Charlotte continued to babble to you. 

God. You hated this. 

“So anyways I uh-, shit,” he let out a nervous laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck, giving you a soft smile, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently because I’ve been trying to make myself better and what not. You know, I treated you unfair those last months. And uh-,”

“It’s past us, don’t worry about it.” You really had no desire to dig all of that hurt up. You just wanted to move on.

And you definitely didn’t want to think about the woman who had his heart right now, who was making him so happy. You didn’t even want to see her. 

“Mommy he nice.” Charlotte continued to babble, slightly overwhelming you as Teacake tried to finish what he was saying at the same time. 

“No it’s like this is part of my journey, makin’ amends and whatever. I want to make it up to you, man you know I put you through so much and it wasn’t fair-,” he was speaking with his hands, his words getting faster and faster as he rambled through whatever was racing through his mind. You shook your head. 

“Travis!” Sarah was back, huffing and puffing as she gripped his hand, “mommy said hurry again!”

“I’m hurrying I promise.” He told her quickly, but still calmly as she smiled up at him. 

“You’re talking again.” She pointed out as he nodded his head in agreement. Nobody could talk as much as Travis could. 

“Travis we’re fine, don’t worry about it. We’re cool.” You promised, just wanting this all to end. You could forgive him if it meant you didn’t have to see him again. Now that you knew he was happy, that he was better without you, you could finally move on. You’d made the right decision. 

“Cool, yeah but uh-,” he glanced down at where Sarah was tugging on his arm and sighed deeply, “can we do this another time? Please. I’d be cool or whatever to catch up. Like you have a kid. That’s-, that’s great. That’s frickin crazy, but it’s great.” You were tempted, and God you hated that you wanted to do just that.

But you knew you couldn’t. If you went with him, you knew that everything would come rushing back. You couldn’t do that to yourself, you couldn’t do that to Charlotte either. She deserved happiness.

And you couldn’t ruin the family that Travis had clearly gained. His smile was so bright, the joy evident in his eyes. You hadn’t seen that before. Not once. You couldn’t rip that away from him. 

You swallowed the lump in the back of your throat, then you spoke. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” His expression dropped in surprise, like he hadn’t expected you to say that, or maybe it had to be with the tone you used. But you needed him to know that this was it. He could move on from whatever journey he was on, and not think about you ever again.

It was just better that way. 

A beat passed between the two of you as his eyes darted across your face repeatedly, like he was trying to decide if you really meant that or not. It didn’t take you long to realize that he was hurt, which made you feel even worse.  You stayed firm to your words, giving him a little smile but no explanation. 

“Right, yeah, yeah. Makes sense. Total sense. Like you’ve got a daughter and a husband and well-, yeah. Sure. Never mind then. We’re cool?” He changed the subject before you could add that you weren’t married, and that you had no interest in dating anyone either. But once again you were reminded that it was better this way. 

“We’re cool.” You promised, smiling as Charlotte played with the necklace you were wearing. 

“Let’s go!” Sarah spoke up again, breaking the two of you apart officially. You were surprised at the way you sighed, how your shoulders relaxed. All you wanted to do was go home. 

“Alright uh, bye. S’nice seeing you again.” Travis gave you a tight lipped smile, awkwardly waving his hand. You hated that it had to be this way, but you two could never make it work. You had too many issues. 

“You too.” You gave him a genuine smile, already beginning to pick the pieces of your heart up. Charlotte waved her hands up and down dramatically, smiling at him. 

“Bye bye!” She shrieked in enjoyment as you did your best to remain stoic, pretending as if your heart wasn’t being left with him. 

You deserved better, you really did. So did Teacake. Your relationship had been on the rocks for the while; falling into the same routines that your parents had. He drank too much and got angry, not enough to scare you or cause you any harm, but enough that he pushed you away. You were jealous and controlling, and you hated the friends that he hung out with. 

Arguments and fights were normal for all couples, you knew that, but you didn’t think it was normal to feel so lonely. You could always feel him lying next to you, though it wasn’t enough anymore. He was warm, but you still felt the freezing bitterness between the two of you. 

What went wrong?

You missed how goofy he had once been; how carefree the two of you were at one time. Now it was like everything was done in routine, like you had to do it. Not that you wanted to.

You had never blamed him for getting discharged from the military. That wasn’t his thing. That was fine with you. There were plenty of things that he could do; that he was good at. 

He had a hard time seeing that. Or in other words, his mother had gotten to him once again. You knew their relationship was even worse than the one you had with your mother, that nothing he did was ever good enough to impress her. He was becoming too much like his father, she’d say. He drank too much, couldn’t hold down a decent job, among other cruel things. 

Which you didn’t think was true at all. Well, the drinking was just affecting him more than it usually did. That was all. 

Maybe your jumpy behavior was influencing him too. Your little secret would be revealed soon, but you couldn’t figure out how to tell him. Once upon a time you knew that he’d be over ecstatic to hear that he was becoming a father, but now you weren’t sure.  

It was still odd for you to think about it, to remember that you were pregnant. That there was a little piece of Travis and you growing inside of yourself. You were having a baby.

You should be ecstatic.

Instead you were both arguing. Again. It was always over something dumb, but this time it felt more personal. All you wanted was one nice evening with Travis, one day that he didn’t run off with his friends because they needed something from him.

You needed him too. 

“Well you don’t ever fuckin’ say what you mean.” Travis continued as he gathered his things up, making your eyebrows raise in confusion. You weren’t sure how that had anything to do with him leaving all the time. 

“What are you talking about?” You asked him incredulously, watching as he pushed his fingers through his hair. 

“You’re unhappy,” he gestured towards you, “look at you, you’re fuckin’ miserable. I’m just-, I’m just tryin’ blow some steam off. Give you space that you want.” He was stumbling for his words as he continued to motion between the two of you, making your heart drop. 

“I never said that I wanted space,” you looked at him exasperated, “and I’m not unhappy. I’m frustrated. You haven’t been the same since you came back. What’s going on with you?” That was what you really wanted to know. It wasn’t even that he’d really changed. No, he was still sweet. Just not the way you were used to. The Travis you knew was still in there, just hidden away from you. 

“Nothin’ is going on with me. It’s you. You’re always just-,” he exhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he pushed his fingers through his hair again. You waited, eyes narrowing slightly, “I’ll be gone an hour at the max. I just need to get away.”

Space. Right.

So you let him. You couldn’t force him to stay, and you were far too prideful to beg him to do so. He was a grown man, he could make his own decisions. And if he wanted to hang out with his shitty friends instead of you, that was his choice. 

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Your mother had several kids with several different men, each one worse than the last. You didn’t want a life like that. You wanted to make this work. It had to work. You’d given too much of yourself to give up on him now.

So you swallowed your pride and you let him leave without another word. Without a kiss goodbye or a promise that you’d discuss it when he got back. This was just another part of your routine.

God. You really hoped that he was with his friends. Even if they were shitheads, it was better than facing the possibility that he might be with someone else. Travis wasn’t a cheater, at least you didn’t think he was. 

You were worried. You hadn’t heard from Travis all day long. It was nearly midnight now, which was not normal at all. You really wondered if you had fucked it up now, if this was it. Had he really just left?

Your phone was in your hand as you had already begun to call him once again, freezing at the sight of an unknown number popping up. Maybe his silly flip phone that he refused to upgrade had finally died.

“Hello? Travis?”

“This is a prepaid call from… Teacake! Uh, Travis. Travis Meacham-, hey babe-, an inmate at the county correctional facility…”  

You dropped your face into your hands in complete disbelief, letting all of the emotions hit you at once. Travis had been arrested. He was in jail. You sighed deeply, trying to keep your hands from trembling as you brought your phone back up to your ear. 

“You may now begin your call.” An obnoxious beep rang on the other side as you were still trying to process that this was real, this wasn’t some dream. He’d really gone and got himself arrested.

Oh my God.

“Hey, hey, honey? Hey are you there? I uh-, fuck. Listen I didn’t fuckin’ do anything. I know how this looks right now but all I was doin’ was waitin’ in the car-, fuck. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I shoulda listened to you-,”

“You got arrested?” That was the cherry on top. He hadn’t messaged you back because he couldn’t. 

“I was told to wait in the car, so I waited. That’s all I did. I uh, I didn’t know what else to do. You gotta believe me.” You could piece enough information together without him needing to really explain. Whatever shithead friend he’d been with had robbed a place and they’d gotten caught.

Shit. 

“Travis,” you rubbed at your temples, not even knowing what to say, “what were you thinking?” You were hurt in all honesty. He decided to skip out on time with you to go commit a crime. It was like a cruel joke. 

“I didn’t think anyone would be robbed, I was just waitin’ in the car. I swear to God, I wasn’t tryna get busted.” You could hear the regret in his tone, could hear how deeply sorry it was. Maybe that’s what made it worse. The fact that he genuinely didn’t mean it. 

“What do I need to do?” You were upset, but not enough to leave him all on his own. You knew his parents wouldn’t bail him out, nor would his older brother. You were the only one that he had, and the same went with you. Without Travis, you were all on your own. 

“They’re setting up my bond now I think,” he muttered across the phone line, “I mean, I think that’s how this shit works. I get bond.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself. You really weren't sure how it would work, especially knowing how messy his family name was. The Meacham’s didn’t have a very good reputation. 

“Sometimes.”

“Fuck. Fuck. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I wasn’t thinkin’, I was just…” he inhaled sharply, “you’ll pay the bond, right?” He sounded nervous, making you feel guilty. 

“I’m not going to leave you there.” Did he really think that low of you? You hoped not. You’d never be that cruel, even though you were upset.

Even though you could feel your decision slowly being made for yourself. 

“You sound mad.” Travis added softly as you closed your eyes, inhaling deeply as your heart pounded roughly inside of your chest. Your words weren’t even tangled, not enough to stop them from coming free. You were just upset, knowing this was not a good time to be truthful. 

“Yeah, I am. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” You whispered softly as you covered your chest with your hands, trying to keep your bleeding heart from flopping out of your chest. You didn’t want this, but perhaps this is what you needed.

The phone line crackled for a moment, making you wonder if he’d heard you at all. Or perhaps the call had ended and you hadn’t noticed. You picked it up, pressing it against your ear again. 

“What do you mean? Hey, baby, what do you mean by that? You can’t do this anymore?” He repeated, sounding just as confused as you felt. You licked your bottom lip, knowing you had no reassurances for him. 

This was it. 

“You have one minute left.”

“I’ll pay your bail and we can talk when you get out,” you answered with a deep sigh, “but I can’t take this anymore. I’m not the one that’s unhappy, it’s you. You made that clear today. Call me when you get out, because I won’t be here.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t say that, please don't say that. Look I know I fucked up-, that I’ve been fucking up. But this isn’t us. Come on, you know that. Don’t do this right now.”

“Just keep me updated.” You told him, giving him no reassurances. You already knew the truth, even if he wasn’t ready to let go. He may be on the same path that his parents had taken, but that wouldn’t be because of you. You wouldn’t force him into that.

“Baby, wait. Don’t-,”

“Your call has now ended.” 

A terrible ache settled over you as your cheeks warmed with your tears, your heart slowly breaking from your own actions. When he was released you two could discuss your options, and could figure out how to go forward. You just couldn’t keep doing this.

You wouldn’t accept the life your mom had. 

Your words were truthful too. You waited, and you waited. But Travis was rewarded with no bond, and was sent straight to Ellsworth for nineteen months. You didn’t have time to see him, to speak to him before he had slipped right through your fingers. 

And then you left too. You would give your baby the life that they deserved, the one that your mother wasn’t able to give you.

Even if that meant leaving Travis behind. You’d get through it. 

There had been a few times that it had gotten so late that you offered him your room to crash in, but Charlotte couldn’t leave him alone. She’d take her blankie and her stuffie when you weren’t looking and crawl right into bed with him. They were too cute to separate, but then that was a pain on your end because she’d be up all night long. 

Travis was a great dad. He quickly learned how to help with diaper changes and assisted with getting her potty trained. He had her favorite items down, including foods that he could make for her. It didn’t take long for him to learn how to assist when she got cuts and scrapes, or how to tire her out before her naps.

However, he was really struggling with telling her no. His heart was just too big, and you were sure that he felt a massive amount of guilt anytime it was brought up. Charlotte got away with a lot from him, but he was getting better at it. Boundaries were important and he seemed to understand that she needed firm guidelines on what she could get away with.

With you, she was still independent in the ways that she could be. It was a completely different story with him. She needed help pulling on her shoes, couldn’t climb off of furniture with help, constantly wanted to be carried and would suck on her thumb when he was around. 

For protesting so much about being a baby, you weren’t sure that she wanted to be a big girl around him. 

“You got her another toy?” You cocked your eyebrows as you looked over at where Travis was standing, struggling to get the Walmart bag untangled from the baby doll that he had purchased. 

He looked very handsome this morning, despite just getting off of his shift that morning. You weren’t sure how he managed to stay awake for so long, probably something to do with the RedBulls that he’d been drinking lately. Though you had teased him about cutting back on those, because he got hyper worse than he did on coffee. 

The bleached strands were pushed back behind his ears, his dark brows furrowed together as he successfully pulled the toy free. You got a good look at his howdy tattoo now, how it dipped into his undershirt. His work jacket was wrapped around his waist, likely because of how warm it was outside. 

“It’s the mermaid one that she wanted.” He mumbled in defense of himself as he gave his shoulders a little shrug, smiling sheepishly at you. You pressed your lips together, hand on your waist as you observed the way he presented it to you.

You knew which one it was. An Ariel baby doll, one with her tail still on. It was a cute doll, but you knew how expensive it was too. 

“Travis.” You gave him a pointed look as he grinned cheesily, holding the doll up towards his face. Your heart skipped a beat as you observed him, how his cheeks were slightly pink and he was staring at you with the sweetest eyes. 

The hardest part was being around him all the time. You couldn’t deny your feelings, how you were still deeply in love with him. Your heart always fluttered around him, the butterflies spreading and your skin burning any time he was close enough to touch you. It was like you were in high school again; crushing over him after he’d pleaded to borrow your notes for math.

“It’s one toy,” he grinned at you, “that’s it. I won’t get her anymore for a while. You know, she gave me those little puppy dog eyes.” You knew the look. It was the same look he was giving you now. 

“Well, she’s going to love it.” He didn’t have to worry about that. Charlotte would be ecstatic when she woke up. 

“Is she napping right now?” Naps were still a struggle, but usually a nice dance party followed by some rain sounds and a little tummy rub did the trick. Sometimes you had to pull out the big guns and tickle your nails across her back and arms. That always worked. 

“I bet she’ll be up any minute now.” You glanced at the time, nodding your head as you rolled your tongue around in your mouth. She never slept more than two hours. Her schedule was set. 

Travis lingered for a moment before he knelt and placed the plastic bag with the others in your collection. You pressed your lips together, trying to lose yourself into the music rather than focusing on the unsaid words that lingered between the two of you. 

“You want some lunch? Charlotte already ate. I was thinking about a sandwich.” The fridge was yanked open a moment later as you began to dig inside. A nice chicken caesar sandwich sounded nice, and you needed to get the rest of your chicken fillets used up. 

“Sure, you always made the best,” he smiled as he took a spot at your table, “how have you been? I mean you look good-, like you look really happy. Still.” You glanced over just in time to watch him wince and drop his head as he shook it. 

“I am happy,” you smiled at him, “I’m glad we get to do this together now.” You told him honestly, quickly looking away as you worked on the sandwich instead. If you looked at him for too long, you were afraid that you’d cave. 

Travis spoke for a while, filling in the silence as he talked about how his shift had gone last night. You knew that he hated one of his other coworkers, that he was always trying to convince him to do things that were no good. You were proud of him for sticking up for himself, and you always let him know that too.

He told you about the new self help book he was reading, how he’d recently gone to see his dad but that hadn’t gone well. Apparently he was thinking about upgrading his phone too, just so he’d be able to take better pictures of Charlotte. 

“What time do you want me to drop her off on Saturday?” You asked, still working on your first half of the sandwich while he was finishing off his second half. 

“Drop her off?” Travis looked at you in confusion, “what do you mean? You’re not comin’ to the birthday party?” He spoke with his mouth full, brows furrowing in confusion. That surprised you. 

“Oh,” you paused for a moment, “I didn’t know I was invited.” You weren’t saying it to be rude either, but out of honesty. No one had mentioned that you would be attending too, and you had no desire to invite yourself.

“Of course you’re invited, shit, you’re Charlotte’s mom. You’re my… you know. You’re invited or whatever. Of course.” His gaze was soft as he nodded his head quickly, using his palm to wipe his mouth off. 

“Does Naomi know that?” It was one thing to be invited by her, but you didn’t want Travis to force anything either. You two were just… friends. Yeah. You two were just friends. 

And they were everything else.

You still couldn’t press about their relationship other than to ask little details here and there. You knew that they texted and spoke on the phone a lot, that they worked together and lived in the same complex. He helped take Sarah to school every morning, picked her up in the evenings. 

It seemed like they were in a pretty domestic relationship in your opinion; seeking out that confirmation just hurt. You already knew the answer. 

“Sarah wants Charlotte there, so of course she knows that you’re gonna come. I mean I think you’d get along. You’re both single moms and shit. You know, I think you’d get along great. She’s nice, you’re nice.” The way he rambled was endearing, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to get along with Naomi. You didn’t want to fight with her by any means, but becoming friends with both of them would be too hurtful for you. 

“Okay,” you chewed on your inner cheek, thinking for a long time as he looked at you hopefully. Damn it. He really did have puppy dog eyes, ones that pleaded with you, “okay, sure. What do I need to bring then?” You covered up your lack of enthusiasm by taking another bite. 

“Just yourself and Charlotte,” he smiled at you, “I got a present and it can be from all of us. She won’t know, don’t worry about that.” He added, making you smile in response. 

The truth was that you were unsure of what you could really afford. It was rare that Charlotte ever got a toy from you that was name brand, which was why you liked buying her Barbies. Usually you could always find one that was five bucks, even less if it was on clearance.

You knew that Travis didn’t make a lot of money either, but he didn’t worry about certain payments like you did. You didn’t ask him to split daycare costs, hospital bills or anything like that. He was great about getting diapers and bringing groceries, more than what you needed. 

It seemed fair this way. 

Travis followed you back into the room when you went to check on Charlotte after, knowing how badly she wanted someone to be there when she woke up. She always seemed more confused at this time, and you hated to hear her wail from the room over.

“Hi,” he knelt as he brushed his fingers against her forehead softly, laughing at the way she cooed in response, “well good morning, sleepyhead. Is this what you’re going to do all day? The sun is out.” He continued on, earning a loud yawn and a deep stretch from her.

“Hi, daddy,” she answered groggily, wiping at her eyes, “mommy! Hi!” A giggle left her as she slowly wiggled herself up, kicking her feet together softly. 

“I can tell you slept good,” another tease left him as he lifted her into his arms, sighing softly at the way she wiggled herself up into him, “mhm, you’re so warm and soft. Can you be my pillow?” 

Charlotte squealed as he lifted her up, high enough that he could blow a raspberry on her tummy. She giggled as she kicked her feet back and forth, gripping onto his hair as she smiled from ear to ear. 

“Maybe you’d want to lay with daddy for a bit?” You suggested softly, “you know, he hasn’t slept at all yet.” You told her once she was wrapped up against him, sighing deeply. You could still see the look of sleep in her eyes. You had woken her up a few minutes early, but you didn’t think that she’d mind. 

“Mhm, yeah. I sweep.” She rubbed at her cheeks, then at her nose and her eyes. He grinned at her. 

“You want to sweep the floors?” You bit back your own smile at his response, giving your head a little shake. You thought her pronunciations were cute, but he absolutely adored them. 

“Yeah.” She giggled, holding her hands up to her face and closing her eyes as she pretended to snore. He kissed her temple softly, closing his eyes and rocking her back and forth.

“You could take my bed, I don’t mind.” You told him quickly, knowing you’d just disturb him if he took the couch.

“You too.” Charlotte gestured at you, her little brows furrowing together. You laughed, beginning to shake your head as you held your hands up in protest. It was not a good idea to lay with Travis.

“Yeah, come on,” Travis perked up at that, “I mean, what else do you have to do? The house is spotless. Like, I don’t think there’s a speck of dust in here. You should take a break.”  He gestured around as he followed you out to the living room, making a nervous laugh bubble free as you rubbed at your arm. 

“I don’t want to intrude.” Charlotte looked like a mini version of Travis as she continued to nod her head just as enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear. You could see her little teeth popping up from how big she was smiling. 

“I’m lying on your bed, I’m pretty freakin’ sure I’m the one that’s intruding. Please.” His hazel eyes were soft, with adoration as he studied you. 

“Please!” Charlotte piped up again, holding her arms up above her head. Travis smiled as he pressed his fingers lightly against her ribs, making her giggle and squeal. 

“Okay, okay,” you bit down on your bottom lip, “just for a little bit.” You told them, unable to help yourself when they were both looking at you with those big hazel eyes. 

You were a goner. 

Your bed wasn’t huge, but big enough to fit the three of you in with plenty of space. It had been a long time since you’d been sprawled out on a mattress with him. Before there had been days where the two of you would just snuggle lazily all day long, his lips pressed against your temple as he rambled about anything and everything. Those days also ended with your legs tangled and bodies meeting as one, but you really didn’t want to think about that right now. 

But you wondered if he ever thought about it as you turned towards him, the room still filled with sunlight despite the curtains being pulled. There was a golden hue in his eyes as he hummed softly, lips pressed together gently. 

Charlotte was put first, mouth open and sleeping deeply as Travis traced his finger across her features softly. You were beginning to wonder if she really hated naps, or if she just needed him to snuggle with. She had no problem napping when he was around. 

“Shes so tiny.” A whisper left his lips as he peered down at her, continuing to trace her little features. Your heart fluttered at the soft way he chuckled when she crinkled her little nose up. 

“She really is.” You told him seriously, especially when she rested against him. Then she looked even smaller. 

“I know she doesn’t like being called a baby, but she is. I mean, she just turned two. That’s a baby.” He continued on, shaking his head as he looked at her in disbelief. 

“It’s only because the daycare rooms are labeled like that.” You laughed, knowing that you would always think of her as your baby. No matter how big she got, she'd just have to deal with that. 

“They should change their names,” he grinned, “wow. I’m just still in like this awe. She’s really perfect. You did a great job with her.” His gaze lifted towards yours, eyes as soft as ever. 

“Thank you.” You really meant it too. You were proud of Charlotte. She was chatty and sometimes sassy, but overall she was a very sweet girl. 

Travis observed you for the longest time, his lips curling into a little smile. His hand was continuously tapping against the mattress, so close to you that you could reach out and hold his hand if you wished to. 

Desired to. 

“Do you want anymore?” You raised your eyebrows at his question, thinking of how you wanted to address that. 

“I always wanted a few, and my pregnancy and delivery were fine. It’d be nice, but I’ve accepted she’ll be my only one.” You shifted on the pillow, stiffening for a moment as he tugged the sheet higher over your arm. 

“Why’s that?” Goosebumps spread across your skin, but not because you were cold. He rubbed at your arm softly, electricity pulsing from where his long fingers were touching you. A sigh left you despite your own protests, but you couldn’t help yourself. It had been so long since you’d felt him like this. 

“No one wants to date a single mom,” you told him softly, his eyebrows crinkling together, “but I don’t want to think about seeing anyone anyways. I’m happy where I’m at.” Or you were used to it. That was more like it. 

“Right, yeah. Sounds like a good idea.” He dropped his hand a moment later, the cold covering you as he pulled away. 

You stayed on your side of the bed, glad to have Charlotte sprawled out between the two of you. At least that would create some distance, keep you from wiggling up against him. 

By the time you awoke, all of you had shifted around. Most of the bed was unused as Travis had wiggled all the way towards you, his arm now underneath your cheek. You two were facing one another, his eyes still shut and expression relaxed as he took in deep breaths. 

His skin was warm against yours as you stared at him, breathing in the ink on his skin. He was still covered in the same moles, had the same summer tan that he gained every year. It annoyed you that he even smelt the same, incredible.

You cautiously reached a hand up to brush away the bleached strands from his face, lingering against the stubble on his skin. You missed touching him like this, ached to be held even closer to him. 

He shifted as he pressed his lips together, your heart hammering roughly inside of your chest as he tugged you closer. He’d always been a snuggler, loved to have you pressed against him whenever he could. 

Naomi was very lucky. 

A giggle slipped free when you realized that you had woken up because he had been snoring. His features fluttered for just a moment before he drifted back, though Charlotte was already stirring. She scoffed as she sat up, looking at you with a sleepy expression and bearing crazy hair. 

“Hi, Charlotte,” you whispered as she snuggled up to you, “how did you sleep?” It hadn’t been that long, but she looked comfortable. 

“Mhm.” She buried her head into your chest as she tucked herself up against you, your arms wiggling around her gently. 

She played around for a bit, grabbing a hold of one of your hands and Travis’s free one. You jumped at the sensation of his hand against yours, his palms rough on your smooth skin. Electricity fizzled clear up the length of your arm. 

“What are you doing, Charlotte?” You looked at her in confusion, watching the way she aggressively furrowed her features together. 

“Hands.” She sassed back, making you relax yours as she tried to wiggle your fingers with his. 

“I see that we have hands,” you answered softly, “you want us to hold hands?” You asked again, glancing up to see Travis was stirring. You relaxed, not wanting to disturb him after he’d gotten no drink. 

“Yeah.” She stuck her tongue out, concentrating as she tried to get your fingers linked with his. His hand was much longer than yours, bigger. 

God, you missed holding his hand. 

“Is there a reason for that?” You giggled as you sat up a bit, watching the intense way she worked. She made the same expression when she tried to set her puzzles up. 

Charlotte babbled off her response, shaking her head like it was none of your business. You snorted as you let her work, jumping as you felt his thumb rubbing the side of your hand softly. 

You snapped your gaze up, insides burning as you met Travis’s warm gaze. Half of his face was red from where he’d been sleeping, his eyes still filled with sleepiness. 

“I think she said it’s ‘cause it’s fuckin’ cool.” He mumbled, voice deep and raspy from sleep. Everything inside of you jolted at his tone. 

“Fuckin!” Charlotte squeaked in the way she usually did when she mastered a new word, her expression filled with joy. 

“Oh my God.” You quickly turned away, bringing your hands over your face to keep yourself from laughing. It really shouldn’t be as funny as it was. 

“Oh shit-, oh shoot. I mean shoot. I said shoot,” he quickly corrected himself, “oh no, that’s a bad word. We shouldn’t say bad words. I’m sorry.” He laughed as he sat up, pulling her onto his lap. 

“Bad, bad, bad.” She wagged her finger at him, giggling to herself as she stretched out against him. He shook his head, turning towards you sheepishly. 

“Do you think she’s gonna remember that?” You nodded your head at his worried tone, how quickly he snapped his gaze to you. 

“Oh yeah, she’s gonna remember it for sure.” 

“I’m sorry. It just slipped out, I really didn’t mean-,” he stalled as you pulled your hands away, looking baffled at your amused expression. 

“Trust me, that’s not the first time she’s heard that word,” you laughed softly, “happens to the best of us.” Shit had been a big part of her vocabulary for a while, up until you were able to catch yourself saying it. She still watched you sometimes, eyebrows cocked like she was waiting for you to slip up. 

“This is nice.” Travis mumbled, fingers still intertwined with yours. You weren’t sure what exactly was nice to him, but you liked the feeling of his hand against yours. You didn’t want to let go, not ever. 

“Yeah, it really was. 

-

Travis lived in a very, very nice complex. You were a little jealous. It was much better than the little trailer home that Charlotte was growing up in.

You knew this wasn’t his specific apartment, but it was right next to his. You imagined that it looked very identical.

The plan was to meet inside, get a few drinks and then head down to the fresh park that was finally finished there. He’d be helping out on the grill, which Charlotte was excited about. She loved hot dogs. 

“I know it’s not a whole lot, but it’s kinda like home. Well, I’m trying to make it like home,” he rambled on as he typed in the code to Naomi’s home, “I’m really so glad that you made it. I was just worried-, you know, you’re busy. But I missed you guys and -,” 

He didn’t get time to finish as he pushed the door open, exposing you and Charlotte to the big balloons and music that was playing inside the room. 

“Travis!” Sarah giggled as she ran forward, squealing as he knelt to hug her tightly. He lifted her off of the ground a second later, spinning her around playfully, “you came!”

“Of course I came. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He told her as he kissed at her cheek softly, earning an even tighter hug in response. 

“And you brought the baby!” She beamed brightly as she touched Charlotte's foot, earning a strangled gasp. 

“No baby.” Charlotte protested, furrowing her brows tightly together. She peered at Sarah for a long time, her features scrunching up completely as she reached for Travis now. You raised your eyebrows, sensing a bit of jealousy radiating off of her. 

“This is Charlotte,” he introduced as he held onto both of them, “and this is Sarah. Do you want to show her your toys?” He asked as he gave both of them a little bounce. 

“Sure! I have so many fun ones!” Sarah clapped her hands in excitement. She was wearing the cutest little dress, a little tiara on top of her head. 

“No thanks.” Charlotte crossed her arms over her chest, looking away softly. You gave her a look, watching the way she quickly turned again. 

“You don’t want to go?” Travis was clearly surprised, taken aback by that. He clearly had no idea what he was getting into. 

“Mhm.” Charlotte hummed as she buried her face into his chest, hugging him tightly. You bit down on your bottom lip, not having much of an explanation.

“She gets a little shy sometimes,” you smiled as you knelt towards Sarah, “Happy Birthday. I hope all of your wishes come true today.” You told her, surprised at the way she launched herself at you and hugged you tightly. 

She was sweet. 

The room was full of people, many of them that you suspected were Naomi’s friends and family. You’d never seen any of these people before, so you were certain that they weren’t friends of Travis’s based on how no one jumped out to greet him.

There were a lot of kids too, most of them Sarah’s age. There were a few toddlers out there, but no one as tiny as Charlotte. No wonder Sarah was very obsessed with her. 

You seemed to be the only one that Travis had invited. That made sense though, this was Sarah’s party. Everyone was here for her and Naomi, not him. 

“Are you shy? I didn’t know you could be shy.” Travis teased as he tickled at Charlotte’s tummy, making her giggle as she dropped her head against his shoulder. She straightened up a second later, shrugging. 

“Nope.” She retorted, crinkling her features up at you. You sighed, recognizing that she was very proud of herself. 

“Okay,” he laughed as he held onto her, resting her against his hip, “I’ll show you around then. Oh, you’re going to love the decorations. They’re unicorns!” You followed behind, watching the ecstatic way she showed everything off. 

Travis showed her around as you lingered near him, surprised at the way he easily tugged you along as well. Every time you started to follow behind he waited, clearly not wanting you to be on your own.

Which you really appreciated. 

“Hey, Travis.” Naomi appeared, her hair and makeup made up so neatly that she had an ethereal glow to her. Her dress was cute too, complimenting her skin nicely. 

“Naomi, hey,” he smiled easily at her, “you remember my ladies. See, I told you the decorations would be fu-, friggin’ cool.” He caught himself, making you laugh. Your heart fluttered at the way he turned towards you. 

“Nice save.” You told him, body warming at the sweet smile he sent you. You were without a doubt melting, your knees weak as your breath caught in your lungs. 

“Let’s go look at the balcony, it’s even cooler.” Travis continued on and bounced Charlotte up and down, making her squeal as she held onto him. She babbled loudly as he hummed soft responses, kissing the side of her head. 

You were left with Naomi for a moment as he took all of the conversation and warmth with him. It was awkward for a moment before you pulled the gift bag up, giving her a little smile. 

“Oh thank you for this. It’s good to see you again.” Naomi answered quickly as she took it, the tension between the two of you being interrupted. 

“It’s good to see you too.” You were sure that you’d been all jittery and nervous the last time you met, probably looked like you were hiding something.

Which, you had been. 

“Hey, I’m glad that you came.” She smiled politely as you nodded your head, trying to think of a way to keep the conversation rolling. You never really had time for friends anymore, even the moms at the daycare. A brief conversation is all you really had anymore. 

“I hope it’s alright. Travis said it would be fine.” You answered as you pressed your fingers together, glancing over at where he was carefully showing Charlotte the balcony. 

“Of course. I wanted to get to know you better. It’s great that you’re letting Charlotte meet her dad finally.” She added, brown eyes analyzing you thoughtfully. You were both sizing each other up, trying to figure one another out. 

“Yeah,” you blinked, unsure how you should take her comment, “I honestly thought I’d never see him again.” You weren’t sure if that made things better or worse. She nodded her head. 

“I get it. Sarah’s sperm donor was a piece of shit. Travis said he was a dick, but it’s hard to imagine sometimes. Only because I didn’t know him.” Naomi added quickly, reaching out to touch your arm softly. You exhaled deeply as you nodded. She was being kind. 

“Yeah, he’s definitely changed. I think he just was having a rough time.” You spoke with your hands before you dropped them to your sides, realizing you had been doing it more since you’d been around Travis more. 

“I’m sure. It must’ve sucked being in prison all on his own. Guess it gave him time to think.” She didn’t mean it in a bad way, but it made you hurt to remember that you had left him like that. 

“Yeah, I assumed so too.” 

“I think you’ve done a great job for you and your daughter,” she smiled at you, “I don’t know if I could forgive Sarah’s dad, but it’s cool that you have.” Curiosity filled you for a moment, wondering what he had done. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to be a dad. 

“He deserves to see her. I mean, he’s great with her.” You gestured towards them with a little smile, heart fluttering at the way he was playing with her. 

“He really is a great dad.” Naomi added softly, almost wistfully. Her gaze was soft as she looked at him, something unreadable passing on her features. 

Something unsaid passed between the two of you, but you had a feeling she was thinking the same thing. If you started to rely on Travis, then what would happen with her and Sarah? It was clear that she relied on him in a similar way, like he was a father to Sarah. 

This was going to be difficult.

The party was cute, full of lots of laughter and squealing from the kids that were running around the new park. You lingered with Charlotte on the slides as Travis worked on the grill, but he quickly took over your position once he was done. 

Charlotte got her own hot dog, but other than that she ate off of your plate. She smacked her lips after each bite, wrinkling up her features in bliss before you gave her another spoonful. She really enjoyed the potato salad, which didn’t surprise you. She loved potatoes. 

She sat on Travis’s lap, stealing food from his plate too, with you on his right. Naomi and Sarah were across from you two, which made the conversations much easier now. Your smile dropped for a moment as you looked at where Naomi and Travis had rested their hands, their fingers softly pressed against one another. 

An ugly sensation filled you as you inhaled deeply, trying to pretend that you were fine. 

“Hot dog,” Charlotte looked towards you, smiling sweetly, “one more.” She repeated with the familiar finger way. You grinned, glad for the distraction. 

“Alright, one more,” you told her as you slowly stood. You glanced at Naomi and Sarah first, then lingered at Travis, “does anyone else need anything?” After a chorus of head shakes you headed back to the little picnic tables, carefully selecting which hot dog she’d like the best. And ketchup. She loved ketchup. 

“I’ve never seen you around here before.” You jumped at the warm voice that approached you, instantly gawking at the handsome stranger that approached. 

He was tall and lanky, his dark hair resting over his forehead as he smiled at you with even darker eyes. His face was narrow, nose strong and slightly bent. 

“Oh, hi,” you looked at him surprised, “I’m um, I’m Charlotte’s mom. Travis’s ex.” You rambled off as you shook your head, blinking in surprise. He gave you a lopsided smile. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you. You’re even prettier in person.” Your jaw nearly fell as you felt your body warming, heart fluttering against the side of your neck. It had been a long time since you’d received such a compliment from someone. And it made you feel good. 

“Thank you. Are you a friend of his?” You questioned as you tried to keep as casual as possible. You shifted, suddenly wishing that you’d worn a dress that dipped down a little further. 

“Naomi’s, but we’ve met a handful of times,” he explained, “I’m Tom. It’s nice to finally meet you too.” Tom held his hand out, fingers clasping your hand as he gave you a little shake. 

And you giggled. You really stumbled over yourself, smiling brightly. 

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Maybe you were being a little ridiculous, but the attention felt nice. You didn’t ever get attention like this. 

“Maybe you’d want to hang out sometime?” You blinked for a long moment, doing your best to keep from looking over your shoulder. You were fairly certain the hot gaze against the side of your face had nothing to do with the sun. 

“Oh, I have a baby. I don’t have much time for dates.” You apologized softly, unsure of how to feel with Travis staring at you. Maybe you should put on a bit of a show, but you didn’t know if that would make it worse. 

“Or if you get bored you could text me, I don’t mind.” The suggestion was nice. It would be good to have someone to speak to when Charlotte was asleep. 

You glanced over at where Travis was standing, his eyes locked in on you as he furrowed his brows together. His lips were parted, cheeks slightly flushed.

He did not look happy. 

“Unless you’re seeing someone else?” You turned quickly, eyes widened. You did not want anyone to think that you were with Travis, or that you felt that way for him. There was no desire to come between him and Naomi. 

“No, no,” you laughed awkwardly, "I'm very single. Um, sure. Why not? That would be nice.” You pulled your phone out, struggling with your one hand before you were spitting your digits out to him. Just because you gave him your number, didn’t mean that you had to talk to him. It was just if you wanted to. 

More nervous giggles left your tummy as Tom continued to flirt with you as he exchanged numbers with you, a little bit of conversation to get to know you better. He worked as a vet, which you thought was very cool. Very neat. 

Travis approached right as he left, greeting you as you stepped in that direction. You raised your eyebrows, glancing down at where he nearly toppled into Charlotte’s plate. 

“What did he want?” He sounded breathless, his lips pulled into a tight smile. You shrugged your shoulders, glancing back at Tom before you answered honestly. 

“He gave me his number,” you told him, slightly surprised, “this hasn’t happened in a ridiculously long time.” A laugh left you as you gave him a little smile. Travis stuttered for a moment, lips opening and then shutting again. 

“You’re going out with him? I mean, the guys a total sleaze. He’s always just doin’ that bullshit.” His hands were moving widely as he spoke, his head nodding furiously. You pressed your lips together, figuring that much. 

“I probably won’t call him anyways. I don’t have enough time,” you gave a little sigh, “but it’s nice to know someone thinks I’m still attractive.”

“You’re beautiful,” Travis looked at you surprised as he furrowed his brows together, a shocked sound leaving his lips, “like you’re as stunning as the day I met you. Like you’re perfect, you know, I always thought you were my dream girl and shit.” 

His revelation nearly made you melt right there, your eyes widening and lips parting in surprise. Dream girl? He was lying, he had to be lying. 

“I didn’t-,” you gulped, trying to find the words to speak. Travis had always been the man of your dreams. Always. 

“Travis, we’re about to cut the cake!” Naomi shouted over, breaking apart the tension between the two of you. You gulped roughly. 

“You comin’?” His smile was light as he looked at you, tilting his head softly. 

You stood back bringing the hot dog back to Charlotte as she instantly wrapped her little arms around you. You helped her stand up, gesturing towards Travis.

“Do you want to watch Sarah blow out the candles?” You questioned, not at all bothered as she threw herself towards him. He chuckled, kissing all over her face. 

Everyone gathered around Sarah, though Travis and Naomi rested on either side of her. You followed along with everyone else as they sang, Charlotte looking lost for a moment but babbling in her own little version. She successfully clapped her hands before everyone else, squealing when everyone else started to cheer. 

Sarah was beaming as she leaned forward to blow her candles out, her crown glowing from the candlelight. You looked around, a little amazed by the community that Naomi had. You didn’t know her very well, but you were jealous. You really didn’t have anyone, and by the looks of it, she had a lot of people.

But she deserved it. You knew that. 

“Ope, got some icing on you. Right there. Silly goose, you’re so messy.” Travis teased once the cake was pulled away, wiping where she’d been successful on scooping up a fingerful of icing. Sarah grinned as he wiped it off of her cheek. 

“Thanks, dad!” Sarah beamed, dark eyes shining in admiration as his face fell. 

Everything went quiet for a moment. Noami and Travis shared the same shocked expression, though you could see the guilt and concern that immediately formed on the lines of his face. He didn’t know what to do as a nervous laugh bubbled free.

And you were going to be sick.

“Cake! Let’s cut the cake!” Naomi’s mom interrupted loudly, clapping her hands together as she broke the tension, “we don’t want it to go to waste.” 

You had a hard time eating, your stomach still stiff and filled with rocks as you got served your piece. You knew that Travis was very close with Sarah, but you didn’t suspect that they were that close. Then again, it all made sense. It didn’t seem that there was anyone else in Sarah’s life to fill that fatherly role. 

Charlotte was oblivious to it all

“Hey, it’s your favorite cake,” Travis smiled at you, “Sarah must’ve known. What do you think?” He sat near you, close enough that his leg was brushing against yours. Not once did he bring up what had happened, but that was none of your business. 

“It’s a great birthday party,” you nodded your head, “Naomi is lucky to have you and everyone else.” You added as you looked around. They were all of Naomi’s friends and family, but they seemed to like him. 

“Your mom is still-?” he drew out slowly, giving Charlotte a big bite of his cake. Well, at least he wasn’t afraid of baby slobbers. 

“Yeah, she’s my mom,” you shrugged your shoulders, “I think I was always better off without her anyways.” She’d just nitpick everything, or point out how you’d done everything wrong. In all honesty, you were surprised that she hadn’t found a way to blab to Travis when you’d had Charlotte. 

“You don’t have to be alone though,” he answered quickly, “like I’m here if you ever wanna, I don’t know, just talk. Or have someone to sit with or whatever.” That was sweet. It really was, but you couldn’t talk to him about everything. Not about your conflicting feelings or how badly you wished you were in Naomi’s shoes. 

“Sure, I’d appreciate that.” You gave him a little nod, then a smile to really sell the deal. He continued to watch you, not quite believing you. You sighed as you dropped your head, sure that he could read you just as easily too. 

“Play?” Charlotte piped up, crinkling her features together as he wiped the icing and cake from her face until she was clean again. 

“Yeah, you two should go play,” you teased, “I’m going to grab another slice of cake.” You lied, needing to give yourself a moment to breathe.

“Cool, cool,” he nodded his head, “great. It’s great cake and your favorite. I said that, I already said that,” a cough left his lips, “anyways I’ll be over here if you need anything.” He gestured towards the slides roughly with his thumb, laughing a little awkwardly as he lifted Charlotte into his arms. 

“Thank you, Travis.” It was hard to tell why he had grown so nervous. Was he worried about what Sarah had said? Did he think that he’d given you false hope? Maybe he hadn’t meant to call you his dream girl either. You didn’t know.

Ugh. It was all frustrating. 

Suddenly you could understand why people smoked. A cigarette sounded very nice right about now, but you only did that when you were hammered. And it had been a long time since you’d drank. 

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly, though you were in no rush to leave. Mainly because you had rode along with Travis, and he looked very comfortable in his current spot of spitting out jokes with Sarah and Charlotte. 

Charlotte never threw tantrums, not ever. One second she was sitting on his other lap politely, listening to whatever him and Sarah were talking to her about. The next second she went stiff, features crinkled up in anguish as she began to bawl. She slid all the way down his leg, sobbing as she launched herself to the floor and began to kick.

“No!” Her scream was muffled as she buried her face into the grass, leaving you surprised as you rushed over. 

“What’s no?” Travis stood frantically, looking down in concern as he put her hands on her waist and lifted her up. Her little fingers were clenched into fists as she howled, fat tears running down her cheeks, “hey, hey. What’s wrong?” He tried again, only to earn a wail in response. 

“Mommy!” She reached for you, still bawling loudly as you gently scooped her into your arms. You were a little embarrassed at the way eyes turned towards the scene, a little frantic to get her calmed down again. 

Charlotte relaxed against your touch as she held onto you tightly, crying into your chest as Travis held his hands out in alarm. He was staring in disbelief, giving you a little shake of his head as he tried to make sense of what had happened. 

“She’s probably just tired,” you apologized gently, “I’m gonna step over here for a second.” You explained as Charlotte hiccuped against your skin, shoulders trembling from the way she was trying to catch her breath. 

“I’ll go too.” He offered, falling short as Sarah caught his hand. 

“No, Travis! Stay here!” She pleaded, pouting out her little lip and looking at him with big brown eyes. Charlotte continued to whimper as you took another step back. 

You could see it then, the battle that he was having. He was stuck, unsure of what to do or where to go.

After all, it was Sarah’s birthday. He didn’t need to deal with two upset girls. And it wasn’t that big of a deal. Charlotte would have many more breakdowns. 

You rocked her back and forth as you nodded your head in reassurance at him, stepping away until you were at the edge of the park. She was aggressively wiping at her chubby cheeks, looking upset at the fat tears that continued to fall from her eyes. 

“It’s okay, baby. Let it all out. I’m right here.” You reassured as you kissed her temple gently. You could see it then when she looked at you, the exhaustion that was in her eyes. Though she hated naps, she really did need them still. She was so used to them, and it was well past the time she normally slept at. She was just tired, that was all. 

Charlotte babbled into your chest as she sobbed for the longest time before she eventually relaxed, her cheek squished against your chest as she sniffled deeply. You kissed the top of her head, rubbing at her back as she eventually calmed down enough to point at the flowers that were popping up.

“Those are pretty, aren’t they?” You hummed as she continued to point at them, babbling softly. You rocked her back and forth, smiling at the way she yawned. 

“Yeah. I like.” She dropped her head against your shoulder, eyes beginning to flutter shut. You kissed the top of her head as you moved to the swings with her, taking a spot. This was as close to your rocking chair as you’d get. 

Travis walked over a few minutes later, hands in his pockets as he glanced over his shoulder. There were tense lines on his features, like he was debating if he should approach or not. 

“Hey, what happened? I swear I didn’t do nothin’. She was fine one second and then she just wasn’t.” He was looking at her nervously as he knelt over, kissing the top of her head. She dropped her face into your chest, groaning as she rubbed her nose on your skin. 

“It’s probably just a lot for her right now. She really hasn’t been around this many people before, and she didn’t nap earlier.” You explained gently as he sat on the swing next to you. He stumbled for a moment, nearly missing it before he straightened himself out. 

“She doesn’t take a morning nap.” His tone was filled with confusion, worry. You shook your head, knowing it wasn’t like that. 

“I know, but it’s different from her normal schedule. She’s not hurt, I think she’s just tired. Really. She’s fine.” You promised him, rubbing at her back softly. 

He looked at you for the longest time, still bearing that same worried expression. You knew that this was new to him, that he wasn’t sure if he should believe you or not. Charlotte was too little to hold grudges, to even really get upset over anything. She was just tired. 

And although this had been her first tantrum, you had witnessed her when she’d been sick and unable to sleep. That had been miserable for both of you. 

“Charlotte, what’s wrong? Are you alright-, like, do you want to go back and play?” He tried as he touched her little fingers gently. She pulled away. 

“Go bye bye.” She mumbled into your chest, sounding half asleep. 

“You want to go home?” he looked at her a little hurt, features crinkling together, “okay. We can take you home.” He nodded his head as you began to protest. He didn’t need to do all of that. You could call an Uber to take you back. 

“No you.” His expression completely dropped this time, a crestfallen look settling over him as he looked at her heartbroken. You quickly shook your head, knowing that’s not what she meant at all. 

You’d already gone through several stages where Charlotte had pushed you off, where she didn’t want you to play with her or she had grown tired of your snuggles. It wasn’t her trying to be mean, or even because she was holding a grudge.

She was just tired. And she was a baby. He just didn’t know that yet. The first time always hurts the hardest. 

“She doesn’t mean it like that.” You answered quickly, watching the way his eyes snapped up towards yours. He gave a brief nod of his head. 

“I know, I know. I just-,” he shrugged his shoulders weakly, “yeah. I know.”  He gave a weak response, looking at her softly. 

“She loves you Travis. I’m sure she doesn’t want to take you away from the party.” You told him gently, gesturing back over towards where everyone was at. 

“Yeah, but I’m her dad. I’m not goin’ to just stay here while she’s gone.” Travis furrowed his brows together, giving his head a quick shake like you were saying something ridiculous. 

“You live here.” The reminder was gentle, but you could see how harshly it settled over him. 

A beat passed between the two of you as you both rocked back and forth on the swings, Charlotte’s cheek warm against your chest as she finally slipped into her slumber. 

“Why don’t you come over to my house then? She can see how she likes it or whatever.” He looked at you hopefully, though you weren’t really sure that was the best idea. 

“I think she needs to rest.” You were doing your best to disagree, but he just shot those pretty hazel eyes at you again. 

“Please.”

You begrudgingly agreed, following along as he went through saying his long goodbyes. You felt bad for tearing him away, feeling like you were making him miss out on something. No part of you desired to be that difficult ex, and you really weren’t. 

His apartment was cozier than you had expected, slightly messy, but not in a bad way. There was a handful of clothes on the chair that he quickly scooped up and moved as he rambled off about the mess, flickering lights on as you peered around. 

The TV stand was full of different movies, some that you recognized and some were new. He still had his vinyl collection, an old box of video games that he never really used. 

It even smelt like him, though vanilla lingered in the room. You wondered if it was the scent that he was using in the wax warmer. It smelt very nice. 

There were of course plenty of pictures of Charlotte that had been placed up, looking like those were the most recent. There were ones of Sarah and Naomi too, a few of them with him involved. 

The most surprising were the pictures of you. Some old ones from when you’d been dating, your smiles happy and an adorning look in your eyes. Then there were some new ones, ones that you didn’t even know he’d taken. A few with you holding onto Charlotte, and a few on your own. 

You weren’t sure what to think about that.

“You have a nice place,” you told him honestly, smiling as he continued to move stuff around, “Travis, it’s fine. It’s not that messy. I have a toddler too, I can deal with the mess.” You promised, watching the way his eyes softened. 

“It’s not much but uh,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know. I want to make a home. I just-, I feel like the closest place to a home was the place we had together.”

“Now that was a mess.” You teased softly, trying to ignore the way your heart was soaring. He snorted as he shook his head.

“Yeah, but it was made of all of us. It was nice,” he peered up at you, “do you ever miss it? I know you got a nice set up and all right now but-, yeah. Do you?” His expression was hopeful, a hint of worry in his eyes.

“All the time,” you told him gently, smiling at the way he sighed in relief, “I mean we had the craziest neighbors, all of our door handles rattled… oh! And the sink that only worked if you flushed the toilet at the same time.” Your smile grew wider as you spoke, and he mirrored you. 

“You can’t forget about the bathroom light switch that was connected to the kitchen,” he reminded you softly, “that gave us all a few scares.”

“You did it on purpose.” You teased him as you pressed against his shoulder gently. He beamed from ear to ear, giving his shoulders a little shrug. 

“Sometimes,” he admitted, your heart fluttered as his hand came to rest against your hip. You could feel his touch radiating through your dress, burning onto your skin, “I don’t know, I think Charlotte would’ve liked it there. It would’ve been crowded but… I don’t know, man. Just feel like she would.”

“Oh she would’ve loved to play there,” you nodded along, enjoying the way his eyes lingered across your features, “I think she would’ve had a blast.”

“Do you think-,” he paused for a moment, stopping himself before he considered his question again, “like if I hadn’t been an idiot, do you think we would’ve worked? LIke would you have stayed and kept the baby?” It took a moment for him to meet your eye, like he was afraid of what you’d answer.

“Maybe,” you rubbed at your arm, “I don’t want you to blame yourself, because it wasn’t just your fault. You know that right? Like I fucked up too. It wasn’t just you.” You told him gently, watching the relief that formed on his features.

“Yeah, but-,” he trailed off for a moment, “if things had been the same would you have stayed?” He tried again, a hopeful look in his eyes.

“I think we could’ve worked through it, yeah,” your heart trembled at the sweet smile he gave you, “we would’ve figured it out.”

“Like now. We’re figuring it out.” Travis added, a hopeful look still in his eyes. You bit down on your bottom lip, nodding in agreement. Yeah. You guys were working it out.

You followed Travis down the hallway as he rambled about being unsure of how to decorate, how he had partially listened to Naomi’s instructions before he decided to just do it on his own.

Charlotte was out against your shoulder, not stirring one bit as she clung to you. You knew that she’d be excited when she woke up and had her own chance to explore the new home. 

He’d need baby locks for sure. 

“I’ve been working on this room for Charlotte, just in case,” he glanced over his shoulder as he looked at you, “a lot of this is Sarah’s old stuff, but I thought it would work. I put it together and fixed up a few things.” He replied proudly, rubbing his hand across the crib.

“It’s very cute,” the room was very unfinished, but it was a start, “that’s very sweet that you did that.” You wondered if he had jumped the gun when he found out, if he had assumed that she could come over whenever she wanted.

“She can lay down here,” he smiled as he reached for her, “it’s safe, I promise, like I swear it. I won’t let anything happen to her.” You knew that, he didn’t have to confirm it. 

Charlotte looked comfortable as she stretched out, then rolled over so she was lying on her tummy. That was probably her favorite way to sleep. 

He smiled brightly as he rubbed at her back, his hand large compared to her. You bit your lip when he pulled away, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Can I give you a tour of the rest of the place then?” Travis suggested as he held his hands out, giving you a hopeful look. You shrugged your shoulders.

“I’ve got nothing else to do.” You teased, nearly falling to your knees as he took your hand in his. He engulfed you entirely as you burned, electricity spilling up the length of your arm. Everything about this felt so natural, yet so new.

You were giggly as he showed you around enthusiastically, rambling about the smallest things as you nodded your head in agreement. For some reason you felt like a teenager again as you continuously bumped into him and against walls, the same way you had when you’d snuck into his house for the first time. 

“This is where all the magic happens,” he snorted as he gestured towards the kitchen, “I’m still a shit cook, but I’m getting better.” A binder flopped across the table as you raised your eyebrow, looking down at the book filled with menus. Full of items that very much related to Travis too. 

“Hello Fresh?” You gawked at him, unable to hide your smile as you shook your head. All of these were already prepared too. It looked like he just had to pop it in the oven for the most part. 

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” he teased as he flicked a menu at you, “and uh, I got a military discount somehow. Which I don’t know if that’s very legal but uh, that stays between you and I.” He made a little face, leaving you to laugh a second later.

“Still living on the edge, what a shame.” A smile formed on your lips at the way he scoffed. 

“You always liked bad boys.” He wagged his finger at you, similar to how Charlotte did. He was picking up on her mannerisms. 

“I did not.” A protest left your lips as you sat up from the counter, brows furrowed together tightly. That was not your type at all. 

“Uh, did so.” He pressed his lips together as he made a little sound, shaking his head. 

“You were not a bad boy.” In your opinion, he was anything but that. A little ornery? Sure. Absolutely. But he wasn’t bad. 

“I was pretty bad,” he scoffed as he rubbed at his chest, “I mean bad enough. You liked it.” You pressed your lips together, unable to hide the way you were smiling.

“You got me there,” you admitted as he laughed, “but you told me you were a much better kisser than Jack and I just had to be sure you weren’t lying to me.” The tone was flirtatious, you could feel it fizzling between the two of you as he leaned forward, his arms resting on the counter. 

“And I proved you right, didn’t I?” Travis continued with a boyish grin on his lips, “I knew I had to have you from the second that I saw you. Like, I meant what I said. You are my dream girl. I stalked your Facebook.”

“I know, you liked all of my posts,” you teased, enjoying the way his face warmed. You had brought that up a few times, but it was sweet. You really had thought you’d end up together forever when you were in high school. Two broken pieces that were so desperately looking for something to fix them, “I always thought of you as my knight in shining armor too, don’t worry.”

“Not much of a fuckin’ knight. Maybe a shitty one. World's shittiest knight, kinda has a ring to it, man.” He presented as he dramatically raised his hands, making you laugh. 

“Mhm, I don’t know,” you pressed your lips together, “you punched that Andrew guy that time that he touched my ass at the party. Oh, and when we had that pregnancy scare in high school and we told my mom. You stood up to me when she called me a useless whore, I’ve always appreciated that.” 

“She was a bitch,” he shook his head, “I mean, my mom too. But I never liked the way your mom spoke to you.”

“And I never liked how yours spoke to you either,” you told him with a nod of your head, “we’re going to do so much better with Charlotte.” You promised, enjoying the smile that spread on his lips. 

“Can I get you something to drink? I got some soda,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “and tea. I’m a tea drinker now, can you believe that?” You admired his smile, how light it was.

“Just a water please,” you answered softly as he gathered it up, “you’re great with Sarah by the way. She really adores you.” He stiffened for a moment as he nodded his head, glancing towards you.

“I sorta don’t know what to do about her calling me dad,” he admitted as he passed you your glass of ice water, “she’s a great girl, and i wish I was her dad. I mean shit, things would be a lot easier. But I’m not, and I don’t think Naomi was very happy that she said that.”

“It’s complicated,” the thoughtful response rolled off of your tongue, “I’m sure she knows that too. It’ll all work out.” You nodded, hating how selfish you wanted to be right now. 

Travis lingered near you for a moment, nodding his head as he looked down at the counter in contemplation as he tapped his fingers there. Your heart stuttered at the way he tilted his head up towards yours, hazel eyes looking at you with a mixture of bliss and awe. 

Your breath stuttered as he reached for you, his strong thumb dragging across your cheek gently. No words left his lips as he continued his emotions, the energy between the two of you growing in a passionate way. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered softly, like he was sharing a secret with you. The same way he’d do when it was just you two tangled underneath sheets and blankets, “you know, I can’t believe I got so lucky at one point. You’re fuckin’ gorgeous.” He continued to compliment you, making your stomach twist into different knots as your heart beat uncontrollably against the side of your neck. 

His hands were hot against your face, cupping your jawline as his eyes darted from yours eyes and down to your mouth. His breath was warm against your face, fanning over you as a little sigh left his lips. And then you were leaning forward, just as desperate as he was. 

A sharp inhale left you as his lips just barely touched you. Just the slight graze against yours. Your gasp must’ve spurred him on as he leaned into you, nose dragging against yours as he began to kiss you slowly, deeply. 

Electricity spread within you at the passionate way he kissed you, how he held you in place as he dragged his smooth lips against your own. He always kissed at your top lip, leaving you to kiss and suck at his bottom one. He tasted sweet, just like icing and everything you’d been missing. 

Travis moved his hands to the back of your neck as your kiss became more heated, little breaths falling from his lips as he kissed you even deeper. Your fingers fell to the back of his head, earning a little moan from him when you knitted your fingers through his bleached strands. 

“You like that?” he huffed against your lips, nose brushing against yours as a little moan tumbled free from you. He gave you no time to respond before he was kissing at your lips, “missed this so much, honey. Missed you so fuckin’ much.” He told you eagerly, licking at the curve of your lips. 

Another croon fell from you as you flicked your tongue out against his, heart hammering as you pressed your thighs together tightly to soothe the ache. His hands were everywhere, white hot as they burned into your skin. Across your arms, then your curves and your hips, your thighs and your ass. 

You’d never felt so in fire before. Your eyes fluttered shut as you continued to twist at his hair, tilting your head in bliss as he began to attack the sensitive part of your neck. It was right underneath your ear, a spot that he used to teasingly grab and rub when he wanted to get you all needy for him. 

And now he was licking at it, kissing and nipping at the spot that made your knees weak and your body erupt. You were pressing yourself up against him now, earning little wrecked groans from him as his hands began to slide up your dress. Slowly, almost to the band of your panties and then-,

“Travis!” Heavy knocking made you snap your head away, feeling as if you’d been splashed with a bucket of ice cold water. He froze against you, still gripping onto you with his fingers wrapped around your panties.

Oh God. What had you done?

“Hey, I was wondering if we could talk about earlier? I’m really sorry that I snapped, I know it wasn’t your fault. Just can you open the door?” Noami’s voice rang out from the other side as you felt sick, quickly beginning to untangle yourself from him. 

“Oh uh, yeah! Yeah. Just give me a minute and shit. I’ll be right there,” Travis told her quickly, lips swollen and hair messy. He looked wrecked. Shit, “s’okay. I’ll be just a second.”

“I should go.” You told him quickly, heart aching. Naomi would know. She’d know. 

“Charlotte is asleep, what are you talking about?” he shook his head softly, “just give me a minute, it’s gonna be fine. Stay right there.” He promised as he gave your chin a little squeeze, making you feel even worse as he walked away.

You’d kissed him. You’d almost done much worse than that too had Naomi not interrupted. What was wrong with you? Never before had you been a homewrecker, and you didn’t want to start that now. 

Everything came crashing over you as you held your face in your hands, not understanding why he was so calm and cool. He spoke to Naomi at the doorway with ease, acting like he was fine. Oh God. Was he enjoying this? Did he want to have both of you? 

You couldn’t handle that. You were so stupid, so fucking stupid. 

Travis stalled from where he was cracking another beer open, quickly setting it down before he walked over to you. You were scrambling in anguish, doing more harm than good. 

“S’okay, shit, it’s fine,” he reassured you with a nod, giving you a little smile as he pulled the cheap Apple watch from your wrist. It had been a friend of a friend’s, something that had been passed down to you, “don’t worry about it. I bet this shit will dry so fast. Or we can put it in rice and it’ll be good as fucking new.”

“You’re so smart, baby. Wow. You’re my hero.” You cooed as you lowered yourself back into the hot tub, staring at him with stars in your eyes. 

Your girl trip had quickly changed at the last minute when you flashed him your pretty eyes and pouted your lip out, begging him to come with you instead. Which had led to a very cramped house full of couples, though that part didn’t really bother him. He liked being around you.

All of your friends and their partners referred to him as Teacake, but that didn’t bother him. Not at all. They weren’t really his friends. He knew that they were polite and they got along, but they were different from the crowd he hung around.

Plus there were a few of them that still gave him a sideways glance, like they could tell he was trouble. They were kind to his face, but he was sure that their words behind his back were anything but nice. He spoke too much, had a look to him that they didn’t like, and his lifestyle was completely different. 

Then again, maybe it had to do with the constant way you were sitting on his lap and kissing over him. He didn’t mind, not one bit. He liked to hold onto you just as tightly and kiss at your skin until you were giggling and bashful. You were sensitive on your neck, something that he liked to tease you about. 

Candy was the only one of your friends that really seemed to be cool. Well, and her girlfriend. But they were both alcoholics, so maybe that’s why he found it easier to talk to them than anybody else.

Neither of you were too crazy about each other's friends in general, but he had to say that you got in less trouble with yours. He supposed that meant something. 

Travis settled for a few beers and a couple shots of Fireball, still functional but slightly tipsy, but you were working on getting plastered. You’d already had several Seagram’s, drank the last two of his Fireball shots, and had two glasses of the fruity cocktail that Harley had made. You were currently working on finishing off the rest of his PBR as he cracked another one open. 

Lately he’d been having a hard time drinking. Usually he got too emotional and didn’t know if it would end with him being pissed or depressed. Plus the hangovers were so shitty that it wasn’t worth it. Which was probably why you’d gotten so upset with him last weekend when he’d gotten so plastered. 

Earlier the two of you had started to smoke outside up until Harley had got onto you about the no smoking policy-, which absolutely didn’t apply to being outside. Fuck, the whole block already smelt like pot anyways. But he wasn’t going to argue. You had rolled your eyes and jokingly argued back with her for a while before you dragged him out to the car, choosing to hotbox instead. 

You both knew the area well enough that he would’ve been able to ask around and find something else for the two of you to share, but the come down wasn’t even worth the high anymore. Kinda like drinking. He felt too miserable afterwards. Plus, he was pretty sure the last time you’d both shared something it had been laced with something else based on the way he kept twitching. 

So not fun. Though it was still an escape. Besides you never did much anyways. You deserved a night to let loose and be giggly and silly. 

So he was more high than anything, which he appreciated. He’d been beginning to wonder if you were drinking too much to combat your high, as the last time you’d greened out and had quite the anxiety attack. You looked quite the opposite at the moment.

You were dressed up in your favorite swimsuit, the one that drove him crazy because it hugged all of your curves and showed off your assets in the best way. Your hair was styled back to avoid getting wet, your eyes glossy, red and squinted. And you had that cute grin plastered to your lips, all dreamy and soft. 

“Damn, you ever thought about taming that jungle?” Travis snapped his head over towards Brandon, cocking an eyebrow as he looked down at his chest. 

Brandon was married to Harley, and even though they’d gone to the same school, he pretended like he’d never met Travis before. That didn’t really surprise him, however. Brandon had run with a whole different group, had been the star quarterback and the most popular guy in high school. 

The funniest part was that Travis knew of his past, so when Harley had mentioned that she was the first woman Brandon had ever been with he had caught your eye and snickered. You both knew better, but he kept that secret. Or saved it for the right time to bring up. 

“Um, first of all, that’s rude you fuckin’ jackass,” you spoke up quickly, alarming him as he quickly stepped towards you, “second of all, I like the hair. He doesn’t have to change anything about himself because he’s perfect. Don’t listen to anyone.” You leaned over to cradle his face, making him laugh as he pressed a quick peck to your lips. It was hard to feel insecure over anything when he had you to make him feel better. 

“Thanks, baby. You enjoying yourself?” he teased as he began to step into the tub, “fuck, that’s hot. Fuck, fuck the smell. The chlorine is fucking strong.” The feel and smell nearly knocked him over, though thankfully he fell into the tub instead. You giggled, pushing your fingers through his now soaked hair. 

“Feels so good. Come sit by me, right here.” You teased as you pushed him towards where you’d been sitting, taking your spot on his lap instead. 

“Oh this feels disgusting.” He squinted his eyes as you continued to wipe the water from his face, the hot bubbles bubbling against his chest.

“I feel like I’m a potato being boiled.” You giggled as you held onto him, nose brushing against the side of his face. He snorted, rubbing his hand down your back softly. 

“I bet you’d be a delicious potato,” he teased as he squeezed your ass, earning a squeal from you, “God damn this chlorine is fucking strong. It’s making me cry, man. No shit. Jesus.” He sat up a bit, making the water rush out of the side of the tub.

“Oops,” you laughed in response, continuing to drag your fingers through his hair, “s’okay. S’bit strong, but not bad. You are crying though.” 

“I told you, it’s fuckin’ strong,” he laughed, carefully wiping at his eyes to keep from wiping actual chlorine into his eyes. You were still wiggling about, stealing another drink from his beer that he’d set down nearby, “holy Christ, m’not gonna be able to be in here long. It’s fuckin’ burnin’.”

“Oh baby,” you mocked in a playful way, grinning as you kissed his nose, “s’okay. You can get out. I’ll boil on my own.” You teased, making him laugh as he pulled you close again. Okay, he could survive for a little bit here. Even though it felt like his eyes were melting. 

“If you were pregnant that baby would be roasted by now.” Candy teased as she flicked some water at you, making you go still for a moment. 

“Me? Pregnant? A mom?” you snorted as you shook your head, “please. Can you imagine me as a mother?” Something about the way you gestured and spoke about yourself upset him, even though everyone laughed along with you.

He observed you for the longest moment, how your smile was slightly stiffer and it didn’t meet your eyes. His fingers brushed along your skin gently, playing with the strap as he pressed a little kiss against the back of your neck.

There were things that you were ashamed of and he knew that, but he didn’t know that it had switched your opinions so drastically. You had mentioned wanting to be a mother before, so he wasn’t sure when this would happen. 

“I gotta get out,” he mumbled, fully meaning to pester you about it later, “you need anything? Food? There’s some good snacks. I think you should have a snack.” He continued on, watching the way you narrowed your eyes as you thought about it.

“Some olives please and thank you.” You rambled off, stealing his beer away as he shook his head. Getting out of the hot tub was even harder, leaving him to nearly topple down the steps in the process. 

Embarrassing. 

Travis fed you snacks while you continued to rot away in the pool, getting your hair wet despite your protests from earlier. You looked content though, a relaxed expression on your features as your toes and head were the only thing remaining above the water. 

“Travis,” you slurred as you crawled towards the edge of the hot tub, slipping and sliding in the process, “c’mere. Gotta tell you somethin’.” You dramatically wagged your hand at him, speeding it up the closer that he got to you. 

“What’s that?” He cocked an eyebrow, enjoying the way you bit down on your bottom lip. 

“That I love ya,” you grinned from ear to ear, eyes gleaming as he laughed softly, “s’true. I’m crazy about ya.” You shook your head in bliss, making a flush form on his cheeks. 

“What if I told you that I’m crazy about you too?” he tilted his head, enjoying the way you got all bashful, “the girl of my dreams. I’m very lucky to have you.” 

He had no problem admitting that he’d been crushing on you long before you even knew who he was. Whenever he got a chance to snatch his mom’s phone he’d take it, happily logging himself onto his Facebook and searching through all of your posts and photos. 

“Can you be a doll and get me another drink?” You slurred out a second later, eyes all glazed over. He bit down on his bottom lip as he agreed, though he had no intention of serving you anymore alcohol. You were already trashed. 

“Honey, let’s have a drink. I made this ‘specially for you. It’s the good shit, just try a drink.” He encouraged as he walked back to you, not mentioning that it was water and Kool-aid mix. That was it, no alcohol involved. 

“So good!” You agreed, the red juice dropping down the side of your lips. 

“Isn’t it great?” a laugh left his lips as he watched you chug it down, “baby, I think we should get this makeup wiped off. It’s gettin’ all smeared and shit, and man I don’t know, we should probably shower.” He added, wrinkling up his nose as you looked at him in confusion. 

“But why?” You squinted your eyes as you watched him, trying to make sense of what he said. 

“Those fucking chemicals in the hot tub were strong,” he chuckled, enjoying the way you dropped your head into his chest and giggled, “c’mon. I’ll help you out.” He encouraged, holding onto you tightly as you stumbled down the stairs. 

It took another fifteen minutes to get you back towards the house as you continued to ramble and talk to your friends, taking a break to even dance towards the music. A laugh left him as you pushed him onto the seat, giving him a very sloppy and silly lap dance. Your limbs were too numb to really move around much, but he appreciated it regardless. At least you were having a fun time. 

He practically carried you inside, but he didn’t mind one bit. Or when he undressed you from your swimsuit and hopped into the shower with you, listening to you ramble about how badly you were wanting to rewatch Survivor again. Only the early seasons though. 

You grew quiet, eyes shutting when he began to scrub your body down. Then again when he began to work on your hair routine, which was much more intense than his was. It wouldn’t be done as well, but he figured it was better than you sleeping with chlorine rotting in your hair. The perks of being together for so long was that he had your whole routine memorized. 

He just didn’t do it quite as well. 

“Open,” Travis demanded as he held onto your chin, snorting at the way you stuck your tongue out, “not that fucking wide, baby. I’m just brushing your teeth. No funny shit.” He teased, watching the slow way you listened to him. 

You were all over the place as he tried to get you dressed again, all wobbly and squirmy before he successfully got you into your pajamas. You had quite the long goodbye with your friends as he snatched a few water bottles before he helped you back towards your bedroom. 

“You know what sounds good?” you sighed as you lazily crawled onto the bed, making him snort as he fixed your pajama shorts again, “some tacos. God. I’d kill for an empanada. Oh my God.” You moaned as you brought your hands up to your face, moaning in the process.

“You want me to order some?” Travis scooted in towards you, watching the lazy way you began to grab the remote and scroll through the TV channels. Luckily, they’d had tacos earlier.

“Only if you want to be a doll,” you teased as you dramatically dropped your head towards him, face all squished as you grinned, “it sounds soooo good.” You drew out, squinting as you tried to find a movie. 

Travis chuckled softly as he pulled himself out of the room, carefully opening the door before he waddled back towards the kitchen. The music from outside was still blaring, reaching the room as he tossed a few tacos onto the plate and warmed them up in the microwave. Then he grabbed a bag of Cheetos, just because.

“Got the goods,” he grinned, enjoying the way you sighed in delight as you sat up, “you feelin’ okay? Do you need anything else?” He questioned as he sat next to you, chuckling at the way you shoved the taco into your mouth.

“S’fine, I’m so good. Thank you, baby.” You slurred, giving him a tired smile as you continued to eat it. There was a good chance you’d have to brush your teeth again. 

“I fuckin’ love Over the Hedge,” he grinned as he pulled you close, your nose chill compared to the rest of your body, “it’s so fuckin’ cool.” He hummed as he kissed the top of your head, already amused as the movie began to play. 

“You remind me of the rabbit.” You continued to munch on your taco, feeding him a bite despite his protests. 

“Which ones the fucking rabbit? There’s no rabbit.” Travis furrowed his eyebrows together, watching you in confusion as you sat up and squinted your eyes. You pointed at the screen, snapping your fingers together. 

“Noooo, not the rabbit. I meant squirrel. I meant to say squirrel but my tongue is numb and I can’t feel my face.” You added, making him nod his head. You wrinkled your nose as he opened the bag of Cheetos, but still accepted a bite. 

“Here, take another sip of this,” he responded as he sat up, giving you another gulpful of water. The liquid slid down your lips, something that he was quick to wipe up, “s’messy. Don’t worry about it. Are you feeling better? I mean, you don’t feel sick or anything do you?”

“I think I blacked out for a while ‘cause I remember you sayin’ somethin’, but then you were gone,” you began as you bounced your fingers around, eyes still squinted, “but then you were there again and had what I needed.” You answered, smiling brightly. 

“Yeah, I had your fuckin’ water,” he laughed as he kissed your jaw softly, “can you feel this? What about here? This spot?” He questioned as he peppered kisses across your skin, making you squeal in response as you leaned closer to him. 

“I know somewhere else you can kiss.” You told him in a matter of fact way, smirking with your eyebrows raised. A loud laugh left his lips.

“I’m not that easy, especially tonight,” he teased as you scoffed, dropping your head dramatically, “what? You think I’d give in when you’re this hammered. I’m not like that. Shit.” He teased, enjoying the way you giggled. Then you hiccuped, staring at him in surprise as if he’d done something. 

“You could be,” you teased playfully, “such a gentleman. I guess I just know how to pick the right guy.” You added as you kissed his fingertips softly, making him snort. 

Travis laid there for a moment, enjoying the way you rubbed your cheek softly against his chest. Occasionally you’d mumble something, but you weren’t making a whole lot of sense. Not that he minded, he just liked lying with you like this. You were everything to him. 

Often he found himself up later than you were, but part of that had to do with how much he enjoyed holding onto you. He liked watching you sleep, wondering if you dreamt of him too. Lots of his friends teased him about how whipped he was, but he didn’t care. He had the most perfect girl in the world. 

“Hey, you with me still?” He hummed as he turned towards you, enjoying the way your face lit up as he rubbed at your cheek.

“Yeah, I’m right here.” You laughed like you’d just said the funniest joke ever. He moved the rest of the tacos, afraid that you might choke on them. 

“You don’t want to be a mom? I thought you did?” Your answer was still bothering him as he pressed his lips together, looking at you curiously. You shifted for a moment, like you weren’t quite sure how to answer. 

“I don’t know. I think I’d be pretty shitty at it. Don’t you? I mean-, look at me.” You gestured towards yourself, leaving him even more confused than before. There was nothing wrong with you, not at all. 

And he thought that the two of you would have the cutest fucking kids. The perfect mixture of one another. All of them as pretty as you but with his crazy attitude. 

“You’d be a fantastic mom. Like the best mom ever, fucking terrific.” He was speaking honestly, enjoying the way your eyes started to sparkle again. It looked like you really needed to hear that. 

“Well you’d have to give me a ring first,” you giggled, “a pretty one.” You added, making him smile even wider. Yeah, he had every intention of marrying you. In all honesty he’d been looking at rings for a while, but that shit was expensive. 

Then again, it would be worth it as long as it meant getting to be with you forever. He’d find a way to pay for whatever you wanted. There was no way either of your parents would try and pay for anything. 

“What kind of pretty ring? Like what size are you or whatever? Just a diamond or?” He turned towards you, pressing his lips together at the way your eyes were fluttering shut, “hey, are you fallin’ asleep on me?”

“No, no,” you sighed dreamily, “I’m here, Travis. Right here. We’re gonna get married and have kids and everything will be just right.” You promised, making him grin from ear to ear. 

He couldn’t wait. 

-

Now

You were quiet. Scratch that. You were being abnormally quiet. Travis had grown used to the distance that you had created between the two of you, how you always kept him at a safe distance. 

It made sense to him. He knew that he had fucked things over in more than one way, but Christ, he fucking missed you more than he knew how to explain. It was even worse when you let your guard down, when he got a little glimpse of how things used to be.

He missed you so much that it made him sick, that his heart ached and he struggled to sleep. It had been like this in prison too, but he’d gaslit himself into believing that you might actually be waiting for him when he got out.

Yeah right. He didn’t really get much of an explanation once he was released, after he’d spent a few weeks couch surfing between his parents and his brother, other than you had just left. You deleted all of your social media from what he could tell, though he’d been too afraid to try your number. Just in case. 

Turns out you hadn’t changed it. 

After prison he’d searched for you everywhere; asked former friends and colleagues, reached out to former neighbors and even made a visit to your mom. She’d painted quite the picture of you running away with someone much more handsome and richer. Which he should’ve known better, but she could be pretty convincing.

It was almost ridiculous to him that you had ended up only a few towns over, not even an hour away from him. You were so close, so fucking close. Sure he’d been locked up for the majority of that time, but he felt like he could’ve found you sooner. And Charlotte. 

It had been a week since he’d kissed you in his kitchen, since his heart had started beating normally for the first time in a long time. Things felt like they were slowly sliding back into place up until you just left.

And now you were ignoring him. Well, not in the cold shoulder type of way. Just instead of being at an arms distance he was not at two. 

He had no issue pouting about it either. 

Communication is key. That’s what Naomi kept reminding him. Actually, she teased him quite a bit about it. He couldn’t shut up, yet somehow he couldn’t figure out how to actually open up to you. 

How ironic. 

Things had been slightly tense between him and Naomi ever since Sarah had called him dad. Neither one knew what to do going forward, and he really didn’t want to be the one to tell her that she couldn’t call him that. Not that he thought that she should, but he didn’t want to be the one to hurt her either. 

Luckily, she hadn’t called him that since then, so no explanations were needed. 

That morning he got to your house earlier than normal, thanks to Griffin deciding to come in early for God knows what. He didn’t ask, and he didn’t want to know. The less he knew the better.

“Good morning,” he smiled brightly as he walked into the trailer, wincing as Charlotte’s loud squeal reached his ears, “woah. You look so beautiful. Oh my goodness, look at you.” He smiled brightly as he knelt down, holding his arms out as Charlotte rushed forward. 

Her little hair was twisted back neatly, keeping the loose strands off of her forehead to really show off her big hazel eyes. She was wearing a pink dress that was full of tulle and sparkles, making her look like a princess.

“Daddy!” she shrieked as she gave him a slobbery kiss on the cheek, giggling as he lifted her into his arms. He dropped his cheek on top of her head, savoring how soft and small she felt against him. He hated how big she already was, “hi.” She answered before a ramble of babbles followed behind.

“It’s picture day today,” you answered as you walked forward, looking as beautiful as always, “and she wanted to wear her new princess dress.” Charlotte giggled in response.

“Me pwincess.” She answered with a nod of her head, sighing before she buried her face into the crook of his neck. He chuckled, shifting her softly.

“You really are a princess,” he bit down on his bottom lip, gulping at the way you quickly turned from him, “I brought some Mcdonalds by. You know, nothing better than a good breakfast sandwich and a hashbrown. I uh, got you a coffee too.”

“Thank you.” Another stiff smile. He was going to lose his mind. 

Charlotte made up conversation for you, babbling and giggling as she dramatically told him anything and everything. He adored that though as he listened, answering with just as much interest. He wanted her to know that he cared about what she had to say, even if she was too little to understand that. He wanted her to have those reassurances, the things that he never had. 

Dropping her off was always the hardest part, more for himself than anyone else. Her little arms held onto him tightly as he rocked her back and forth, kissing her temple multiple times before reassuring her that she’d have the best day.

“It gets easier,” you told him gently, speaking to him for the first time in a while, “I wish I didn’t have to work so much and she could stay with me. Oh well. She likes her two year old class.” You told him with a smile, looking pleased with your goodbyes.

He was speaking before he had fully processed his thoughts. 

“It would be a lot easier if we lived together,” Travis gulped as he tossed his keys back and forth in his hands, rushing to open the door for you, “like I know things are whatever right now, but it would be easier. We’d save money, and maybe we’d both get to spend more time with her.”

You stared at him for a long moment, eyebrows furrowing together as a confused expression settled over you. You were thinking hard, lips pressed together tightly before you spoke up.

“You want us to move in together?” You drew out slowly, like you’d heard him wrong. He didn’t think it was a crime.

“Well, yeah,” he bit down on his bottom lip as he quickly raced around the front of his car, clambering inside, “I mean it makes sense, right? Neither of us are fuckin’ rich and we both care about Charlotte.”

“Neither of us live in a big enough house for all three of us to have a room.” He wondered how upset he looked at his statement, though he quickly tried to shrug that off. To pretend that it didn’t bother him. You clearly didn’t want to be with him, and he’d just have to be okay with that.

“Yeah, I just-,” he shrugged his shoulders for a moment, failing to start the car. He leaned back, facing you fully again, “don’t you think we deserve another chance? Or at least doesn’t Charlotte deserve that. Look I’ve been doing a lot of thinkin’ lately, just processing everything. It’s a lot, but I don’t see why it would be bad.”

You were staring at him surprised, lips parted before a hardened look passed over your features. Something protective that you did when you were trying to conceal yourself. 

“Travis, what are you saying exactly?”

“Shit, look,” Travis sighed deeply, “somewhere along the way we stopped talkin’ to one another. Like we used to tell each other everything. All of the small things and the stupid shit too. Like, what happened?” He observed you for the longest time as your eyes softened, shoulders shrugging. 

“I don’t know.” You sounded just as lost as he felt. He hated that. He didn’t want it to be like this anymore. 

“I miss that,” he told you seriously, “fuck I miss it so much. I miss you. I’m tired of just feeling like I’m walking on glass. I don’t know man, I wanna go back to how things were.” Things had been rough, but he had changed. He really had, and he knew that you were all that he wanted. 

“How could we go back to that, Travis?” A defeated look settled over your pretty features as his stomach twisted in guilt. You were exhausted, he could see it now; could see how much it was killing you. 

“I just wanna know like-,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “if we still have a chance. Like I’m crazy about you still, fucking crazy about you, but I gotta know if I’m wasting my time. Like a guys gotta know.” A little laugh left his lips, but it was more out of his nerves than anything. This was a scary conversation to have, only because he didn’t know what you would say.

There was no way he could even think about moving on. He just couldn’t. His life had sucked without you in it, and he didn’t want that to continue. 

A mix of emotions spread across your features as you wrapped your arms around your chest, protecting yourself as you pressed your lips tightly together. Charlotte did the same thing when she was concentrating. 

“What about Naomi?” He was so quiet after your question that he could hear the clock ticking from the kitchen, unsure of how to answer you. Naomi was his friend. 

“What about her?” There was a part of him that knew that if you asked him to, he’d stop talking to Naomi. He’d even stop seeing Sarah. It would fucking suck and it would hurt, but he’d do it all for you.

No questions asked. 

“I’m not a home wrecker,” you answered angrily, “and I won't be dragged around like this either. You can’t use me like that, Travis. It’s not fair. You don’t treat someone that you care about in that way. Is this a game to you? Do you-“

He held his hands up in surprise, eyes widening as your words hit him like a slap in the face. Suddenly everything was beginning to make sense to him.

“I’m not with Naomi! We’re not-, I’m not dating her. Or with her like that.” He was rushing his words out quickly, tripping over them as he looked at you in confusion. Him and Naomi?

“What?” You were clearly taken aback, surprised as you held your hands out. He paused again, a nervous laugh bubbling free as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I mean we’re close but I don’t love her like that. Not the way I love you. All the shit about you being my dream girl is true. I love you. I can’t see myself with anyone else.” His words were soft and true as he watched the emotions that fluttered through your eyes, his heart aching at the way you searched for words. 

“I thought that-,” you began, stalling as a confused look spread on your expression. He parted his lips, instantly hearing Naomi’s concern in his mind. He winced as he dropped his face into his hands, groaning dramatically before he looked up at you again. 

“Oh. Oh no. No, no we’re not together. Oh shit. I never wanted you to think that. Ever. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, it has never been like that at all.” He felt sick to his stomach. Stupid, he was so stupid. Jesus. No wonder you’d been so hurt, so avoidant of him. 

“That’s what it looked like.” Your hand was covering your mouth as you closed your eyes, shaking your head. He took your wrist gently, almost gasping at the electricity that raced up the length of his arm. It had been so long since he’d touched you, since he’d really held onto you. 

“She’s just a friend. Like a great friend, but we’re just friends. I swear to God. I’ve never-, no. She’s fantastic but she’s not-, she’s not you. You know? It’s always been you. It’ll always be you.” Travis knew that he was rambling now, but he needed you to believe him. Naomi was like a sister to him in a way. They were not together, and he felt shitty knowing that he'd made you believe that.

He'd really fucked everything up.

You watched him for a long time before you ducked your head away, lips pressed together and shaking your head as fat tears began to roll down your cheeks. A knife twisted in his gut as a terrible feeling settled over him, fearful that he had hurt you again. 

“Why are you crying? Hey, hey I didn’t mean to make you cry. Shit. I’m sorry. Hey, look at me.”

“I just feel so stupid.”

“I’m the stupid one,” he laughed softly, “I mean I was so jealous and pissed ‘cause I thought you had a husband and everything. I should’ve said something. I was just-, I don’t know. I can’t tell if you really care for me anymore.” It probably wasn’t the best time to admit that, but he meant it. Everything he said was truthful. He missed talking to you, all he wanted to do was go back to how things used to be. 

“I do care for you,” you sniffled as you shook your head at him, like he was being ridiculous, “but this is just a lot. It’s overwhelming.” You sniffled as he pulled you close, letting you bury your face into his chest. He cooed softly, kissing at the side of your head. 

“Right, right,” he nodded his head, lips muffled against your skin, “it’s okay to take a minute and just breathe. Just think. I do that all the time. I know I’m probably not helping because I can’t shut up right now but-,” 

“Travis, do you love me?” You snapped his head up, making him blink in confusion. He thought that was obvious. Did you really think that he didn’t love you?

“Yes. I’ve never stopped loving you. Ever. LIke I know I was shitty and stuff but I still loved you. I was just mad at myself,” he rubbed his fingers against his jeans softly, “and seeing you now is even better. Like you’re a fantastic mom, shit, you’re so great with Charlotte and I wish I could’ve experienced all of that with you.” He was beginning to grow emotional this time as he sniffled, rubbing at his nose. 

You observed him for the longest time, hands coming up to cup his jawline as you began to rub at his cheeks softly. Your hands were soft and smooth against his touch as he inhaled deeply, eyes briefly fluttering shut at the soft way you were holding onto him. 

“I know you probably don’t want to rush into anything and that’s not what I’m asking,” he continued on quickly, “I wanna take you out on a date. Like an actual date and I’ll bring you flowers and shit and it’ll be fun. Wherever you wanna go. If you’ll have me.” Your favorite things were memorized in his head; he knew you just like he knew the back of his hand. 

Travis never wanted to go another day without being with you. You were everything to him. 

“You’re not gonna make us dine and dash again?” Your question made him laugh, his head hitting against yours softly as he tugged you close. He inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent that rolled off of you. You always smelled so good. You were wearing his favorite perfume, the one that made him go crazy. 

“I didn’t make you,” he clarified with a laugh, beaming at the way you were smiling, “you dared me to do it, and what’s a guy supposed to do? I had to follow through.” His nose was brushing against yours softly from the way he’d dropped his head down towards you. 

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered a moment later, giving him a sincere look as his heart continued to hammer roughly inside of his chest. He shook his head, not blaming you for anything. He knew that he would’ve reacted in a much worse way. Hell, he could barely handle watching you talk to Naomi’s guy friends at the birthday party. 

“Why are you sorry? I didn’t say anything, I didn’t realize you know? We’re just friends. She knows how much I love you. I don’t ever shut up about you honestly.” Naomi teased him about that a lot, usually saying that he was like a lovesick puppy. Which he was. He worshiped the ground that you walked on. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You looked at him with glazed eyes, holding your hands out as he tried to think of a response. He didn’t have a good answer, not one at all. Everything had only been an assumption this far. He assumed that you would’ve known. 

God. He’d wanted to make things better but he was worried that he’d only made everything worse. 

“I really just thought you figured since I didn’t say anything. I don’t know. My mind's all frazzled and whatever. Fuck. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how you felt. I really, really didn’t mean to hurt you. I mean, God, I was so jealous when I thought that you were with another guy. I guess that was it, I was too concerned with you being with someone else that I didn’t even consider-,” he paused for a moment, “no like you’re the only one I’ve been with. Well, not ever. But in these last few years. It’s just been you, you’re all I think about.” He was breathless by the time he finished, giving you the softest look that he could manage. 

You were the thing that he thought about before he went to bed at night, the first thing he thought about in the morning. He lingered on distant memories and feelings, praying that he’d have a chance to make new ones. He was totally and hopelessly in love with you.

“I love you,” you told him softly, laughing as more tears raced down your cheeks, “I really just thought that you’d moved on, you know? You seemed so happy.” You added, voice cracking. He shook his head.

“I was a fuckin’ mess without you. I mean, you’ve helped so much. I wanted to get better so I’d have a chance, you know? I wanted to make you proud.” The look that you sent him was enough to make him get bashful, to flush at the adoring look that filled you.

“You always make me proud,” you whispered as you tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, “but I’m really proud of how far you’ve come. I’m so sorry things ended up like this.”

“I am too,” he wasn’t ready to lose your touch, so he took your wrist and brought your knuckles up towards his mouth. He kissed each one softly, savoring the soft way you sighed in response, “I missed you so much. So fuckin’ much. I wish I hadn’t been such a fucking idiot.” 

“We’re both a little stupid,” you sniffled as you wiped at your cheeks, “listen, if I agree to this date you have to understand that things can’t go back to how they were. If this is going to work then we need to talk to one another, and it has to go slow. I don’t want it to not work out and Charlotte gets confused.”

“We’re going to work,” he told you quickly, kissing your cheeks softly, “I promise. I just wanna be with you, only you. I’ll talk so much you’ll get tired of me.” He teased, enjoying the smile that formed on your lips.

“You can pick me up at seven on Friday,” you told him in a matter of fact way, the exact same way you’d told him when he’d first asked you out, “and you should bring a bag so you can stay over.”

“Yeah?” He leaned towards you, eyebrows raised as you both shared a laugh. 

“Only so we can talk after,” you giggled as you bit down on your bottom lip, eyes glittering in amusement, “you know, once Charlotte has gone to bed.” Your words put a wide smile on his face as his heart hammered roughly against the side of his neck. He nodded his head a little too encouragingly. 

“Right, seven on Friday,” he bit down on his bottom lip, finally starting the car, “I can’t wait to you know, shit. Fuck. I’m excited. I just-, I’ve missed you so fuckin’ much.”

“I’ve missed you too,” you told him sincerely, a longing look in your eyes, “I love you, Travis. I really do.” That’s all he needed to hear, all he needed to know.

And then he was kissing you. Just a little peck, but still passionate and full of love. He put everything into that soft smooch, hoping you knew that he was truthful. 

“I love you too.”

Mother’s Day was going to be celebrated that afternoon for the simple fact that you’d already left for work by the time he’d gotten off. That was the unfortunate thing about the work schedule you had, but you still managed to make it work.

He’d been locked up during the two previous Mother’s Days that you had celebrated, so he wanted this one to be special. He’d had Charlotte make crafts with him, but also gone on to purchase some of your favorite things as well.

However, now he wasn’t quite sure if he’d done enough. Especially as he stared at the flowers that were wilted over. 

“What’s this?” Charlotte wiggled her way up towards where he was bustling around in the kitchen, brows raised and eyes twinkling as she looked at him in amusement. 

“These are the uh-,” Travis paused as he peered at the flowers again, “well I got these for mommy, but they’re looking a little-, I don’t know, sad? Man, what do you think?” He pressed a frown to his lips as he spun them around, wondering how they’d managed to get floppy so fast. 

“They’re sad daddy. Very sad.” She nodded her head as she looked at him seriously, lips pouted out as she broke the hard news to him. 

“Yeah, I thought so too,” he mumbled as he shook his head, “okay, so let’s go get more flowers. You down, dog?” Well, she was going to have to be regardless of what she felt. No way would he leave her here alone. 

“Yeah, dog. Duh. I down! Let’s go.” She waddled away, leaving him confused until she returned with the little handbag she’d been obsessed with recently. It was a blue star, and held all sorts of little trinkets in there. Like stickers, a gum wrapper, and all the toys she could stuff in there. 

Charlotte babbled the entire ride to the store, but he was quick to answer. He enjoyed all of their little conversations, even if they didn’t make sense half the time. She was really starting to get interested in dinosaurs, enough that he was beginning to research his own information on them. 

“Well that sounds like a uh,” he paused as he lifted her from her seat, holding her on his waist as he shut the door, “well the spiny one, you remember the name? Darn, I forgot. Hold on, I’ll look it up in a minute.” He promised as he placed her into the cart, knowing that he’d have to remember or else he’d forget. 

“Okay, daddy,” she hummed in appreciation as she kicked her feet back and forth, “cookie?”

“Uh, yeah,” he pressed his lips together, thinking for a long moment as he moved the cart through the store, “yeah, we can get a cookie. Maybe mommy would want a cookie too, do you think? I think so. Let’s get a bunch of cookies.”

“Yay! I love cookies. They’re so yummy. Daddy, do you like cookies?” She peered up at him curiously, tilting her head as she waited for him to respond. 

Her hair was neatly done, and she was in a pretty little floral dress that they’d dug through and found this morning. Her sandals even matched. 

“Oh yeah, I love cookies. I think they’re better when they’re a little crunchy though, you know? Uh like I think it’s better when you dip them into milk. If you do it with a soft cookie it just falls apart and it’s not as much fun. Crunchy ones are better, but I think your mommy likes them soft.” He probably looked ridiculous talking to her like she was more grown than she was, but Charlotte was a good listener and she was even better at responding. 

“I like them crunchy too. Crunchier the better.” Her little babbles filled them as he nodded his head, jerking his head back and forth as he searched for cookies. Though that wasn’t what they came for. 

Flowers. Flowers. He couldn’t forget flowers. And the dinosaur. He’d have to remember that too. 

“Except when they’re too crunchy. Then they just don’t taste right. You know? They’re all burnt and gross after that.” He continued to talk as he tossed a few bags of cookies into the cart. Just a few. He didn’t want to spend too much money on them when they had a cake waiting at home.

Shit. It wasn’t at home. He had to pick the cake up. Okay, he could do that. He wouldn’t forget that. Cake, flowers and dinosaurs. 

“I know, you’re right.” A smile fell onto his lips at the way she nodded her head in agreement. She was so sweet. A lot of her matched him, but he saw so much of you in her too. It was sweet. 

Travis weaved in and out of aisles before landing where he needed to be at, only to be met with an almost empty display. 

“Where’s all the flowers?” He stepped forward in disbelief, holding his hands out as he looked around to confirm he was in the right spot. He squinted, wondering why the world was being so cruel. 

“They gone. Poof!” A dramatic gasp left her as he sighed deeply, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to think. The local flower shop was always closed on Sundays, and she wasn’t particularly fond of him either. 

“Geez. Are this many people buying things last minute? What’s with that? Christ.” He did a big loop around the bin, taking out the little ones that were left. The scraps. They weren’t very stunning or pretty. 

“Christ.” Charlotte repeated, nodding her head and holding her hands on her hips. He winced. 

“Uh, let’s not say that okay? Anyways hold on. Look, look at these.”

Travis held out two bouquets, well a few of them in each hand as he presented them to Charlotte. It looked like he’d have to combine them to really make them work, but it was better than dying flowers. 

“Which flowers do you think, Charlotte? Which ones would your mom like better?” He watched as she stared for the longest time, examining them before finally speaking up.

“The pink ones, daddy. It’s so pretty, much prettier than those.” She wrinkled her nose as she spoke, like she was disgusted with the other choice. 

“You think so?” He was unsure, but he had no one else to ask or trust. Naomi was busy today, and it didn’t feel right to bother her over this. 

“Much better, daddy.” 

Travis trusted her as he finished up getting the items, only rushing back once more to get a vase to ensure that these stayed nice and pretty. At least he hoped that they did. He definitely didn’t have a green thumb. 

“What did you want me to look up, Charlotte?” He met her eye in the rearview mirror as she furrowed her eyebrows together, watching him curiously. 

“Daddy I don’t know what you’re talking about.” A little huff left her lips, like he was acting silly. He mumbled underneath his breath, thinking for a moment. 

Cake. He needed to get the cake.

That was surprisingly the easiest and smoothest part of their trip. Everything on the cake looked correct, clean and pristine. 

“Okay, that’s done,” he balanced Charlotte on his hip again, placing the cake in the back of the car gently, “we’ve got our list completed. I think? Right?” He looked at her, earning a little shrug in response. 

Damn it, what else was he supposed to remember again? Must’ve not been that important. 

By the time you arrived home he felt like he’d turned most of the day around. The wilted flowers went to Charlotte and he set up the livelier ones in a vase in the middle of the table. He’d also gone out and purchased your favorite meal, hoping it would make up for the last few years.

“What’s this?” You gasped as you walked in, grinning and still in your server uniform, “did you do this all for me?” A surprised look filled your features, like you honestly weren’t expecting it.

“Well, yeah,” Travis laughed as he rubbed his arm, “we wanted to make today special, didn’t we Charlotte?”

“The flowers were sad,” Charlotte commented as she took your hand gently, “but we got new ones. Look!” 

“Oh my, now those are just beautiful,” you complimented as you leaned forward to smell them, “mhm, so beautiful. It looks incredible in here. You guys didn’t have to do so much.”

“Daddy did most of it,” Charlotte continued, speaking before he could, “yep. It looks real good though.”

“She helped too,” he answered quickly, laughing nervously, “but I hope you like it. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do or what you wanted so-, I got a little bit of everything. And we got a present. Oh shi-, shoot. Where’s the present?”

“I get it!” Charlotte squealed as she raced off, making both of you laugh softly.

“You didn’t have to do all of this,” you told him gently, giving him a soft look as you leaned forward to peck his lips. He sighed deeply, eyes fluttering shut at the sensation, “this is so sweet. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he felt bashful suddenly as he held onto your hips, “I just wanted you to have a good day. It sucks that you had to work or whatever.” He concluded as you shook your head, wrapping your arms around him softly.

“No, I love it. This was such a nice surprise.” His heart hammered in his chest, making him grin from ear to ear. 

He tilted your chin up towards him, lips dragging against yours softly to express just how joyful he felt at the moment. Your lips curled into a grin as you met his motions, sighing blissfully against his mouth. 

“Ah, it’s an Anklyosaurus. That’s what I was trying to remember.” Travis exclaimed as he pulled away suddenly, eyes widened as he held his hands up in surprise. 

“What?” You laughed as you looked at him incredulously, eyes widening in surprise. He flushed. 

“Well it was the dinosaur that-, oh never mind.” That didn’t matter. You did. This moment. Right now.