#daclus

Xavier takes a bit of time to explain to his students, who’ve been under his tutelage longer than I’ve been alive, what Cerebro is.  During an early usage of Cerebro, Xavier discovered the most epic, mutant-like mutant that has ever existed and will ever exist until they need an even bigger threat to face. Xavier decides to investigate on his own as everyone else is busy, and of course he’s got this no problem as a sort-of-kind-of powerfulish mutant himself!

‘Splody dudes name is Matthew. (Also, I need to improve my scanning skills.)

Matthew is playing with dolls action figures of Marvel heroes and Villains. The next (or first) match is between Devil Dinosaur and Fin Fang Foom. If I knew more about Marvel’s characters I’d go into great detail about how this fight would play out. I think Fin Fang Foom would would win because it is magic (I think) and Devil Dinosaur is just a regular Tyrannosaurus except for his redness (I think).

Before the bout begins, Matthew feels the tickle of Xavier poking around inside his mind. Xavier worries for a moment about being brought up on mutant predatory charges, but he can’t sense any minds inside the semi-destroyed home they’re in front of. Don’t worry Professor; it’s your word v. his; innocent until proven guilty.

Massive neon green outlines of the dolls action figures appear, causing rubble to fly about. Charles says his mutant powers were what kept him alive, but I’m not sure that makes sense. He says he’s unable to get into the boys mind now, then how did you survive? That is your mutant power! If you can’t get into the kids head, how could your mutant power stop his mutant power from killing you dead?

Now he says he was able to convince Matt that he was no longer there. You’re contradicting yourself big time Charles. I thought professors were supposed to be smart and be right about everything! You know What Professor Charles Wilhelmina Xavier,…I don’t like you! When is your will going to be over so you can go back to being dead?

Xavier blabbers on a bit more about not knowing what the kid’s power actually is and how Matthew is the worst fear humans have about mutants realized. Cyclops asks for the will to be paused, and my love for him grows as I’m not sure how much more of holoprof I can handle. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that it’s not your average will, that in this case would have been read by She-Hulk. The X-Men get to see and hear a hologram of this pompous toned asshole.

My plan exactly Jennifer.

I also grow to dislike Storm a little bit as she says to Scott, “Sort of wishing you hadn’t killed him now?” He was possessed, of course he regrets it, but he wasn’t in control of himself! Scott still chats with Ororo about the possibility of Xavier leaving the school to Mystique. Scott says he wouldn’t let her take the school. I guess it’s not a big deal for him to break the law like that since he’s already the most wanted man in America (though really he shouldn’t be seeing as there are worse people who’ve killed more than one person).

A touching moment between Kitty and Nightcrawler.  (Kurt was dead for a while until recently.)

Beast and Dazzler also chat for a bit about her new out look on life and physical look as well. She’s gone grunge after Mystique kidnapped her to make her blood into a mutant growth hormone to sell and took Alison’s place as “Dazzler Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.” to manipulate the X-men. Basically, she’s pissed and has joined Scott’s “revolution” with plans to get her hands around Mystique’s neck.

Noooooo! Why have you betrayed me!

Charles thought about murdering Matthew, but decided against it as he thought it’d cause a spiral of destruction. It’s not true plus the kid was going to cause the destruction if left alive anyway, but whatever. Xavier instead projects himself to Matty as a little boy and befriends him. He connects with Matt and slowly removes the child’s ability to use his mutant powers. Charles erased Matthew’s memory of any of the destruction and people he killed (including his parents), then sent him to an orphanage.

Xavier yammers on trying to defend himself from whatever the X-Men may be pissed at him for after hearing all this, then lets them know that the mental blocks aren’t likely to hold forever so they’re going to need to keep constant tabs on Matthew and take care of his all destructive power themselves. Fuck you Professor Charles Ipswich Xavier!

Scott is just as angry about this as I am pretending to be! Though he’s more upset that Charles was a hypocrite for preaching “mutant and proud” but blocking a mutant’s powers. I’d be far more annoyed by his secretly keeping the boy in check while knowing once he’s not around everyone is screwed. Iceman suggests Cyclops kill Xavier again and, even though I know he’s being a sarcastic ass, I’m all for it. It’s the comic book world where people come back from the dead all the time, so I’d like someone to go around making sure there is no possible way the Professor could be resurrected.

Scott blasts Bobby through a wall, which was deserved in my opinion. There’s some arguing, calling Scott an ass, and more “you killed Charles” crap. None of that’s important though, because there’s more of Xavier’s will. Fuck yeah!

Charles makes sure to point out how he had to keep an even closer watch on Matthew during puberty, because that’s when mutations “bloom”. Uh huh sure, see I knew he was a mutant predator; I’m hating myself for helping with his defense before. Finally, Matt was able to see through Xavier’s projections because only someone able to psychically influence people could make you feel that sexually satisfied.

Matthew’s memories start coming back but he doesn’t want to have them, so he asks Charles to erase them again. Now I’m wondering why I had to listen to this part of the story when it went right back to Matt forgetting again. Were we supposed to learn that Matthew’s actually a good guy? Or is this Xavier saying “see I did the right thing because there was consent”?

Charles asks Cyclops and Wolverine (oh boy) to go with Rachel Summers (time displaced child of Scott and Jean or Madelyne Pryor, or someone else; I’m not sure) and make sure Matthew’s mental blocks stay in place. I guess that’ll be in the next issue, but do you know what else we’ll be getting in a later issue?

That’s right! More of Professor Charles Codpiece Xavier’s last will and testament, because the rest isn’t to be released until after the Matthew Malloy mission is complete! Woohoo!