#da4 shitpost

Lucanis: Ok so first off, I don't think you're asking for a friend, by the looks of it. Also, that is not the kind of business we run. It definitely could happen that a crow would use sex as a means of social infiltration under a cover to get closer to a target, but you'd have to ask Illario about that, it's not in my preferred method. But thank you for thinking of us, we are always happy to receive new contracts. Next one

Lucanis: "Lucanis could serve me boiled coffee every single day and I'd thank him on my knees for it"

Lucanis: ...on their knees? That's... this is messed up. You don't boil your coffee, you have water that is boiling hot when you filter it, but you don't boil the coffee itself, it will turn sour. You're wasting good coffee, come on. Mierda.. these people.. ok, what do we have more

Lucanis: "Neve and Lucanis are couple GOALS, they are perfect and iconic... " aww, I agree. Neve is a beautiful woman, I am a lucky man to have her "...and I also think they should spitroast me, I mean spitroast me, no not spitroast I mean spitroast, no not..." and it goes on like this... for quite a while

Lucanis: for someone not trying to say spitroast you sure are saying spitroast a lot. uhm... I'm not sure about the logistics of that, I suppose if Neve had the equipment... I'd have to run it by Neve, it's not my decision alone. But thank you for the compliment, she is my light and blessing. Ok, next

Lucanis: ...it just says "Lucanis and Illario Dellamorte step on me challenge"

Lucanis: I don't... I don't understand the challenge. Illario and I do play around sometimes but... it seems like this wouldn't be much of a challenge. Also... Illario and I are cousins, just... I think maybe you forgot about that

Muffled voice off screen: Oh they definitely know

Lucanis: they know??

Muffled voice off screen: that's part of it

Lucanis: what do you mean 'that's part of it'? What do you mean 'that's part of it'??

Lucanis: Ok they're just waving to me to continue, so... I guess we just... move on from this. It might be for the best. So...

Lucanis: "I think Spite often gets misrepresented, just because he looks scary he gets called a demon when he's just a spirit of determination..." it's true. I've talked to Emmrich about this and it's helped a lot in my relationship with Spite. you can see any man as a monster, and any spirit as a demon, but... in large part it's mostly about the circumstances that have have molded you "...and that's why I think after Lucanis is done blowing out my back Spite should take over so he can blow my back out twice"

Lucanis: are these... these can't be real, or like... where do you even find these people?

Muffled voice off screen: this is a common one

Lucanis: this is a common one?? You mean to tell me that multiple people independent of each other are tweeting about... me and Spite taking turns on them?

Muffled voice off screen: yeah I see it all the time

*multiple other voices off screen join in agreement*