#cyclopsdick

He doesn’t give a shit! “Well I guess it’s back to Earth then. Gonna have a lot more free time on my hands now that I don’t have to care for that baby. Maybe I’ll start watching Frasier.” (X-Factor #68 – July 1991)

Heavenly. (X-Factor Annual #6 – 1991)

Welp, Jean comes crawling back after only two issues, after an appearance with Forge and Banshee over in Uncanny X-Men #261-263. Scott is so suffocating here. Like, his concern isn’t “Jesus your clothes got destroyed??? Are you ok???” It’s “Ohmygod you’re not wearing what you were wearing the last time I saw you!!! Did someone see you naked??? Who did you have sex with!!! Was it Longshot??? Did you have sex with Longshot??? Are you still my girlfriend??!! Are you still going to change my baby’s diapers like you’re supposed to??!!” Every day she stays with him I lose more respect for her. (X-Factor #56 – July 1990)

This poor guy!! Look at them carting him away!! The man clearly needs psychological help. And they just lock him up??? While Scott Summers hops in a cab to go hit some edgy nightclub in the middle of Manhattan?? Jesus Scott, here’s an idea. Instead of going on your yuppie dinner date, why don’t you take that certifiable genius back to your sentient space craft and give him a motherfucking JOB. Not only would you be helping society, think of all the amazing bug tech this guy could create for you!! You could be riding around on the back of gigantic moths and shit!! Like Ant-Man, except you wouldn’t have to shrink down!! This guy could not possibly give a fuck about anything except being seen in that thirty-five dollar suit. (X-Factor #52 – Mar 1990)

This is kind of like the presidential debates before George W. Bush’s second term when he had been waging war all over the Middle East for no good god damn reason and nobody was calling him on it until that walking Cialis® erection John Kerry debated him. He had the same brain dead nut sack look on his face that Scott has on his face right here. (X-Factor #37 – Feb 1989)

Jesus SCOTT. Can’t stand to see your significant other have the spotlight for two and a half seconds? Dick. He’s always been like this too, sticking his big butt in where it doesn't belong, stealing Jean's attention away the second anyone isn't focusing on him. Talk about keeping his bird in a cage! Jean’s professional modeling career has always taken a back seat to this relationship and that’s not right!! She should totally take that endorsement deal with Bad Idea Jeans. (X-Factor #29 – June 1988)

Warren should wait until the corpse is cold??? YOU ARE MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN. Fuck. I know I’ve always said Scott is a huge dick, but man, the dickishness is at DEFCON 5 in these issues of X-Factor. It’s like, habitual line stepping dickishness. Sorry. Charlie Murphy just died at the time of this writing. (X-Factor #8 – Sept 1986)

You fucking dick if you’re still hung up on Jean THEN WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED. Look. There are reasons to end a hostile or emotionally abusive relationship, but Madelyne didn’t do anything wrong!! She never treated you in an abusive manner and she never asked more of you than what you committed to. You just spent a few months pretending not to be a complete dickhead, long enough to court, marry, and impregnate her, and then you reverted back to your true form. He doesn’t even know Jean is still alive here! This is why I have always hated Scott Summers. His treatment of Madelyne was my introduction to his character and it has stuck with me ever since. Seriously fuck this guy!! (X-Factor #1 – Feb 1986)