May 11
Oh? Fox is meeting the new chancellor! Say congrats to your baby Vod’s promotion
FOX NO
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Oh? Fox is meeting the new chancellor! Say congrats to your baby Vod’s promotion
FOX NO
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Oh no! There's been an attack on Supreme Commander Chancellor Squeaks! Thank the Force that Commander Fox was there to protect him with his body! That's what it was, not an attempt on his life, what an absurd idea. Well, obliviously he's going to need a bodyguard now, even when he's being protected on the comfortable seat of Jedi Master Kenobi's lap.
The bodyguard in question would of course couldn't share the seat, how can they keep an eye out for enemies if they were so distracted by the comfy-ness, but the shoulders are a good vantage point!
Perhaps Commander Fox, who did such a good job last time? Or maybe dear Commander Cody, who's used to watching out for unseen dangers?
Or maybe take a note from Naboo and have some body doubles to join Squeaks on Obi-Wan's lap?
Cody hates Coruscant. Using His jedi as a glorified cat tree. Not even saving him a shoulder. Evil Vod.
kit-dets
supreme commander chancellor squeaks could just use the regular super expensive ergonomic chair at the chancellor's desk but it's inconvenient for future emperor squeaks, future emperor kit-det squeaks deserves better! plus that chair was tainted by sith cooties, unacceptable
Squeaks pulls the ultimate power move and their new chair/throne is obi-wan kenobi's lap, his lap gives squeaks the necessary boost to be able to reach the desk properly and makes a large swathe of the tooka GAR seethe because they wanted to sit in obi-wan's lap and be petted! they wanted to sit in obi-wan's lap and force their tired general to actually sleep! (because of course if you have a tooka, especially a little kitten, on your lap, you can't move, it's the law, kitty purrs lower blood pressure and can help encourage deep, restful sleep)
Other acceptable thrones for future emperor squeaks are plo koon's lap, the top of yoda's head (establishing dominance!), mace's shoulders, and aayla's shoulders
See Cody, this is why Fox had to try and kill that brat! Look at him! The power is already corrupting him!
Not even Sidious himself chose to sit on a throne of jedi bodies.
His greed is sickening.
Jedi, monotone as the sip tea barely tied to the pilots chair: oh noooo. The kid-dets have overpowered and outmatched me, a fully grown adult force user. I have been taken hostage. *sip* they have seized control of the ship. *calm, ponderous sip* there is nothing I can dooooooo. *subtly points to the button on the left when a kid-det is about to hit the wrong button*
They have a high success rate! Well a higher success rate then if they were in a speeder or land vehicle!!
“You fly like a maniac” “Actually we’re flying like three kittens in jedi robe”
I'm calling the Cursed Kit-dets au the "I thought you were watching them" au. Because taking a class of their MOST advanced (and troublesome) CC slated cadets on an outing to that Probably A Sith Temple? Then taking your eyes off them? Vod we're all LUCKY that Chancellor Squeeks is all that came out of this!
They did it in the name of Efficiency. Cuddles! Not getting fucking decommissioned after they got their hyper competent dumbasses cursed! Are you proud of them? You SHOULD be! This was their "Kark! NO BODY PANIC!" Plan B! (Plan A was pirates. But they didn't think they could pull off the hats, as tooka.)
Like? Imagine turning on the news. Long day fighting separatists. And? One: those are your little brothers. Two!: those are your little brothers CURSED INTO TOOKA. And most importantly THREE!: why the fresh Bespoke FUCK are your tooka-fied little Brothers being sworn in, on LIVE HOLO, as the NEW LEADERS OF THIS REPUBLIC.
GET HIS TINY BUTT OUT OF OFFICE
He clearly needs a nap already
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.....C-Chancellor Squeeks (our beloved) is wearing a WAR TROPHY FROM A SITH!?!?
Has he learned NOTHING from the training modules!?!? It's probably HELLA CURSED!!!! Got Sith dandruff/cooties/germs ALL OVER IT!
(To be fair his squad hadn't hit those modules yet. But like ALSO? What's more Mandalorian? Then taking your empire and wearing a trophy about it.)
But like? Chancellor Squeeks, unbothered, leading a TRAIN of Very Concerned Jedi and Vod™ who are ANXIOUSLY HOVERING like he's got a bomb around his teeny weeny wittle neck, like? "P-please! Chancellor! We have SO MANY BOWS! Any bow you choose! Just PLEASE give us the horrifying Dark Side Soaked SITH FABRIC!" .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·.
Chancellor Squeeks, unbothered, cause he stole it from the guys NEWLY Delivered "im gonna be an Emperor" robe not the one he was wearing (Cause gross also oops we may have exploded him): ( •〰️•) ~☆
SQUEAKS IS WRITTING THOSE TRAINING MODULES NOW YOU FOOL! HE'S OUT HERE REWRITTING ALL THE RULES AND PROCEEDURES!! WORSE WITH FOX 'im sick of all these procedures' IN HIS TINY EAR
even if it DID had sith cooties another reason he has Obi-wan under his tiny paw! keeps the Chancellor swaddled in the force from any of the sithy shit their moving around
cursed kit-dets
in order to get the jedi out of the way, kit-det volunteers ambush jedi and jedi are immobilized by piles of little kit-dets lying on top of them
basically imagining stressed jedi on couches or chairs with half a dozen kit-dets resting on their chests and none of them daring to move and disturb the kit-dets and then falling asleep
and through the windows of the council chambers, if anyone was awake, they could see the lovely sight of the senate rotunda being on fire
Medically weaponised kittens. Greatest tool to healers, the law of if a cat lays on you, you can NOT move. And these babies are sleepy!
It’s tough tube growing and flash training just to be turned into a body with the maybe max capacity if 5 mph for like 1 minute
But they do get hands on and personal time with jedi much faster and much more comforting now so they are happy sacrificing being fast as fuck boy for now
You know, it's been a while since we checked in on The Good And Most NOBLE of Noble Chancellor Squeeks (long may he serve, first of his name, glorious of bow). I bet he's grown!
*smash cut to the Chancellor looking taller* :O !!!
*camera pans out, and it's his equally kit-ified be-tooka'd cadet squad mates, trying DESPERATELY with all their lil fluffy might, to lift his "fluffy ass" for the cameras* *tiny, high pitched, off screen tooka cursing* ha ha... pay no aaaattention to thaaaat! Probably the wind! In this air tight tower! Yes, he is Very Tall Now. MUCH taller then other Vode his age. It's the Leadership, you see! *his squad finally can't hold him anymore, they collapse into a pile* *alarmed squeek as he disappears from view*
Huh... so THATS how he got his name... he squeeks when startled...
Chancellor Squeeks, growth stunted or just slow?
Hurts his feelings, he is a very big kitty.
But! With his funding and dedication to clone healthcare and investigations, the good Brave Chancellor would of course volunteer himself to be apart of the efforts to aid rapid growth halting!
So do we think if a clones genes were repaired and altered they would be able to develop like a standard tookafett? Like the more skrunkly stage Boba had and more common tookafett style colouring growing in the the tookatrooper white?