#ctzen

First ten days, you spent them looking around for anyone suitable for him. He got billions of fans, but you don’t feel anyone can be his other half.

The next ten days, you follow him everywhere he go and you keep yourself hideous. Yuta still did not know you, until day 15.

You were using his kitchen, thinking he won’t be home before seven. You used his kitchen on six to cook yourself some food, you forgot your camouflage since you’ve got so little energy. Yuta freaked out at first, but you quickly showed him your wings. That was the only way Yuta finally agreed to let you stay there. He did pull and tried to take off your wings, thinking those were fake. Alas to no avail, he can’t pull what the god had planted on the angel in his house.

By the next morning, you told him your mission and you broke the first dangerous rule. You stepped so far into the human life, telling him all about angels, the rules, and everything he was not supposed to hear.

Day 30 in mission, you’ve totally fell for this man with a healing smile. Yuta flirted with you and your sensitive heart can no longer hold back.

Day 50, he had bravely asked you to try and date him. You agreed thinking maybe in the last 50 days you can still find him a girl and you can leave Earth and Yuta without any problem.

Yuta was the type of man to protect you and super possessive. He did not hesitate to show the world you are his. Yes you can shape shift, hiding your wings and just walking on the roads casually like you’re a normal woman.

Every day, he sneaked in to see you between practices, your ability to be invincible made it easy to be here and there.  You could always meet him in the small vocal room, big dancing room, in the changing room, even bathroom.

Day 70, he took your first kiss. Touching has been insufficient; Yuta craves for more and you forgot the eternal rules to never let a human kiss or touch your intimate parts. For every kiss, you feel your body and heart burning, you feel your head super heavy, and for every touch, you will pay them back with the burden of the wing demolishing process.

Yes you know you’ll need to bare the crazy painful wing demolishing process. You’ve lost count his sweet kisses and you mis count his teasing hands. Though it was painful for you, you’ve never told Yuta nor have you the idea to stop. The super wonderful feeling whenever his lips collided into yours, failed to slap you to your senses.

Twenty last days on Earth, Yuta is totally in love with you too. You thought it’s a happy ending…. You love him, he loves you bam the two of you are each other’s missing piece. However, life was never that beautiful. Angels could never become one with human and as hard as you want to try and deny that, you were forced to agree that you two can’t be together. The god above had punished you with lowering your abilities and power day by day. You thought there were only small amount of time, and you bare the pain by yourself to make Yuta smile every time he sees you in between hard times and tiring schedules.

You thought everything was worth it, until ten days your last day in Earth, you saw him looking at a girl with a very different look. You noted his eyes were full of hearts, his voice even sweeter, and his smile… the best smile you saw on a man.

Your heart aches when you saw him showing interest to her and as day goes by you saw him seeing her more often. The last straw was seeing the two of them kiss in front of you. Your tears flooded your face and you ran all the way back home. It feels like heaven had punished you into a painful truth and reality. You could never mess up with fate, coz fate will always come to make his story as planned.

Day 99, you feel the lack of love Yuta has to you. Every night where he hugged you, now felt different. He still hugs you, but the warmth and safe feeling were missing.

That night, you corrupted his mind and made him sleep with you. People have slept with the devil, but Yuta… Yuta slept with the angel. You swore that was the best sin you ever did. Sex with Yuta was everything you could imagine. He whispered you an “I love you” when you both reach your high.

That and a last kiss was enough to end your chapter and for him to go into deep sleep.

That night when the moon shines so beautifully over your silver wings, you glance to Yuta. Sleeping peacefully like a baby and you bring yourself to the mirror. You walked through your punishment by your side, not even with a helping hand from the man who was also responsible.

You grab the samurai in your hands. Trembling, you saw your tear stained face over the shiny polished blade. When you close your eyes and swing your hands to stab yourself in the heart, you heard a loud scream and someone pulling yourself away.

Yuta cradled you in his tight embrace, your weak grip left the metal. Yuta fell with you to the ground, his cries were hysterical and you found your peace when he hold you close next to his heartbeat. From your peripheral view, you could see the shattered black feather around the two of you slowly turning into an ash.

“Stay with me.. why.. why did you do this?” Yuta managed to speak them up between his tears.

He hold you tight, ignoring his white shirt turning dark red, ignoring the wet feeling of his hands as he hold you with all his might.

‘Hold on.. I’ll call the ambulance.” He almost leave you, but you hold him first.

‘Don’t I won’t survive. It’s my punishment Yuta…” you were crying as your eyes start to blurr.

“Yuta.. Don’t leave me… I can’t see you.” You said weakly

He bring your hand to touch his cheeks, they were wet from the tears and you could see pain all over his eyes.

“Go with that girl, she loves you” you speak very slow, you even wonder if Yuta could catch the words.

He shakes his head, “No… you’re the one I am inlove with.. how could you leave me?! Why did you stab yourself.. why (Y/n) what should I do?!”

You force a smile, when he pressed your hands on his cheek, “Tell me how I can save you.”

“Smile… tell me you love me..” you gasped “and kiss me”

He forced himself to smile, he whispered to you tons of I love you and when your breathing gets harder, he placed his lips over your bloody ones.

He tasted the metallic blood of yours in his mouth, tears are competing one another to fall to the ground. For every tears touching your skin, you burn.

“no!” Yuta screamed when he realized your skin are melting away. Those moon white skin, the perfect porcelain skin only angels can have. You did not feel them though, for you’ve train your body with the burn whenever Yuta kisses you.

‘Stay with me Yuta… When this is all gone, take my ashes… drown them to the sea.” You look at him for the last time

He looks so wrecked, you feel bad now seeing him this miserable.

“Promise me love, be happy, find your soulmate, and let go off me. Thank you Yuta..”

‘I love you”

Those were the last words I said before closing my eyes and slowly turning into ashes in his hugs. Yuta cried himself to sleep.

He woke up the next day, body curled in a fetal position, ashes and black feathers all around him, the once bloody samurai was now clean but with traces of burnt on the shiny metal.

Yuta actually cannot accept your lost, he actually never loves that girl, he kissed him coz he lost control. You are everything he wanted.

But you’re now gone, you’re following the rules, angels that broke rules and failing mission will follow the textbook of punishments.

In grief, Yuta did your last message. He collected your ashes in a jar and with a black suit, red puffy eyes, Yuta walked under the rain with a black umbrella and your ash.

He took you to the beach he remembered you really love, and as he sits down on the sands.

The young man took his time to spill his heart out. While holding back tears, Yuta did your last request.

He however did not promise you to find the love of his life. No, for now he will grief upon your lost and he won’t open his heart for someone else.