Video experimentation for CTRLE COVERS//
This time, it’s Never Too Old to Push The Button from ‘Dreaming, Searching, Falling, Learning’

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seen from United States
Video experimentation for CTRLE COVERS//
This time, it’s Never Too Old to Push The Button from ‘Dreaming, Searching, Falling, Learning’

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=widJReiHreU)
Beards and other Opportunities
Hi, my name is ctrle.
Welcome to ctrlesession.
You know what, not everybody can grow a beard. You might be thinking: ‘yeah, well, isn’t that obvious?’, or ‘Yeah, like girls!’. You sir/madam/bearded lady would be right! It is obvious!
But, it’s got me thinking about the idea of opportunity. Whilst not everybody can grow a beard, it’s most often the people without beards that are most attached to the idea of being bearded. Where as, a mighty-bearded fellow often takes for granted that they can do what some others cannot.
Genetically, some dudes just aren’t cut out for the task. That, my friends, is not a reason to feel dejected.
I can grow a beard. I have a fearsome beard! It’s all over my instagram account for goodness sake! However, am upset that I will never be a great athlete or have perfectly straight legs. I’m just not built to be an athlete. It saddens me greatly, but to this day it has not brought me down the great spiral of anxiety that my missed opportunities in the creative arts has.
What’s my point?
My point is, not only are built in such a way to do different things to each other, we are also pre-disposed to a myriad of different opportunities that we CAN take advantage of. I believe, fear of un-success stems from searching for opportunities that are just unreasonable and so far out of reach that they cannot be got. No matter how hard you work.
I can hear people in the background whispering,
’you just have to believe!...’
as I write this. And you’re right, you can do anything that you put your mind to. But you’re not cut out to do everything at an A-grade level. Or even as good as the next person.
My advice for you, right now, if you are struggling up the ladder of success and you have become stagnant: it is totally fine, and you are gonna find the right door that leads you upwards.
I have been fighting a losing battle with trying to organise events and get in contact with people that will book venues for me. I’m also struggling to get all the paperwork filled in soon so that I can teach guitar and drums at my wife’s school (she teaches music, pretty amazing chick). I am not cut out to be an event organiser and am hopeless when it comes to finding the right people to talk to, to get the right forms, to go to the right training and all of that stuff that comes with pre-teaching.
But, I know that I have opportunities waiting for me that I can take hold of. I know that meeting with people who can organise events are the best kind of people to have coffee with. I know that this paperwork will get filled out and I’ll be teaching in no time.
It all comes down to PATIENCE and DISCERNMENT.
Discernment to be able to latch onto the things that are going to help you be successful and patience to wait for those opportunities to come your way.
You’re doing fine! Keep it up!
My name is ctrle.
Thanks for reading. Bless.
PS. Get a load of Colossians 3:23 //
Guess who is doing...
NaNoWriMo
But, of course, not in the conventional way.
...’Have to be different, don’t you?’
How Does That Make You Feel?
Hi, I’m ctrle. Welcome to ctrlesession.
This week, I’m addressing a less recognised problem. Something I have been pondering. I figure, asking you about it might help me to give myself some honest feedback. That is, if anybody feels the same!
When you create and perform your art, you’re capturing a feeling in a snapshot of time. Something tangible that you decided you need to record and share with other people. This is significant for so many reasons. It may be the central reason as to why we create and re-create things; but, this isn’t the issue that I want to bring to light.
When it comes time to reproduce, perform or share your creation, how easy is it for you to really feel, experience, re-create and that share that moment again?
I have experienced this ‘block’ countless times during the lead up to a performance. The lead up becomes the most exciting part; the performance is hollow. It becomes disconnected from it’s origin. I find it difficult to, if you will, re-perform the nature of the music and to find the original significance of the piece.
What I am asking is: have you ever had your fire go out at the worst possible time?
What can we do, as artists, to re-kindle and ignite that spark? When faced with a lack of enthusiasm, how can we re-connect with our art and give it justice on the stage? Whilst writing this, I have come across a few things that help when they are tuned and used properly.
The first of these, is Meditation.
Don’t be afraid of stagnation and under-productivity. Being a creative artist can be both a physically and emotionally demanding career. We literally spend our time magnifying, extrapolating and recording our feelings. Nobody has the capacity or the endurance to feel and create for that long; nor to feel at such high intensity. We have to enjoy the opportunity to just- stop.
Find your way to recharge. Do something that is counter-productive to your projects.
Some days, the most productive tasks we can assign ourselves are: long walks, cups of tea, video games, books or even admin. Whatever helps you to turn off, helps you to recharge. It gives you the capacity to enjoy feeling and enjoy your art.
The second of these, is Fellowship.
Often, meaning is lost simply through repetition and being enclosed with your project for too long. If you have to edit, compile, tidy or spend weeks on a particular piece, it is perfectly reasonable for you to become disenchanted by it. You grow accustomed to being with those ‘feelings’ and they begin to lose their meaning entirely.
It is helpful, at these times, to seek the council of people that you’re close to. This is helpful for a number of reasons.
1. Projection. Bouncing your thoughts off of somebody often helps to amplify and clarify your ideas. It helps you assign merit to your work, simply by having a fresh perspective.
2. Feedback. If you want people to enjoy your art, you’ll want people’s feedback. It will help you to grow as an artist. It is helpful to see and hear things from a different perspective in order to create an environment for your art that exudes authenticity.
And 3, re-creation. Your art is a synergy of a myriad of different things; your skills, your passions, your emotions, your experiences and your dreams. Sometimes, more often than not, you haven’t yet solved the riddle as to how these things all fit together. Take a step back, remove a few pieces, look at where you have to grow and learn in order to make things work. Then, put it back together again- in a different way. Change doesn’t have to be frightening; it can be very rewarding.
I’d like to know what you think on these matters. Does it happen to you? Have these things helped you to create a clearer picture? What are your strategies to remain motivated?
As they say, there is more than one way to skin a cat (lovely turn of phrase). The better you understand your own emotional strengths, the more equipped you are to share your art with honesty and enthusiasm.
My name is ctrle.
Thanks for reading. Bless.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming