it's fine. this is actually the biggest fear slash problem that i have, emotionally - whenever i have breakdowns or anxiety attacks, it's always about the same thing. i've been trying to find ways to deal with it, to work through it, and it's hard.

the rest is under the cut because i don't want to make you all more sad than you already are. warnings for #death tw 

probably a hell of a lot like me tbh

Tagged by fandomwholock:

1. any food everyone likes but you hate: Off the top of my head, hot chocolate. I know, I know. It's just too INTENSELY chocolate for me. (Also in a similar vein, coffee. Love the smell, hate the taste.) 2. do you have the tumblr app: Yes, I use it a lot at work and I hate how I'm always accidentally unfollowing people. So if I used to follow you and don't, it's possibly because I accidentally unfollowed you on the app. 3. do you need glasses: Nope, I have 20/20 vision. My Mom, Dad, and sister all wear glasses but I "lucked out". I put that in quotes because I'm the only one who inherited the hearing problems from my Mom's family so I'll probably be deaf when I'm older. 4. ever had a cavity (Ive had five): A shit ton, I can't count. I went without insurance for a few years and then I avoided the dentist because of anxiety. When I went back, my mouth w as just so bad... it took me like a year to get it all fixed, including a really expensive and painful root canal. 5. color hair: My natural hair color is dark brown with a hint of red. Which it actually is again right now, although I've been dying it dark red for years. 6. if someone had to stereotype you based on your look which ‘category’ would you be in: Fat nerdy girl/cat lady which tbh is pretty accurate. 7. have you ever felt so hungry that it felt like your stomach was eating the walls of your flesh: Lmao. Yeah. But my stomach is a drama queen. 8. favorite number and reason why: 8 because it's the infinity symbol. Although I do like 9, because everything you multiple 9 by, the resulting number can be added up to 9. (Like, 9x7 = 63, 6+3=9.) 9. if you had to spend a week living with someone, fictional or not, who would it be: The Tenth Doctor, or Rose Tyler. OR BOTH. 10. what do you do when you are reading and your character does something really embarrassing: I groan and close the book and set it down and try to ignore it for like 5 mins. Then I pick it up again, read the same paragraph and groan and put it down, lmao.

Tagged by maybe-i-am-the-bad-wolf-girl:

1. When’s your birthday? I have the exact same birthday (and year) as Zac Hanson. 2. What’s your favorite type of candy/sweet? It depends on my mood. Lately I'm really into M&Ms but usually I like sweet candy like starburst and skittles 3. Got any pets? I have three cats, Ella, Kit and Pepper. 4. Any plans after high school/university? (Other than horrible debt from student loans) Well I'm already 28 lol so I think I'm past that. I am going to school part time right now. My main plans are to get my BA and maybe get a Masters, keep working and eventually get promoted. 5. Favorite superhero? I don't really have one??? Idk I have a special love for Superman b/c he was my favorite as a kid. 6. Favorite book? I can't pick one. Usually I say "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" because it was super formative. Also anything by Tamora Pierce though. 7. What’s your phone case look like? I don't have a case for my phone. GASP. 8. Do you prefer TV/movies or books? Books, like, if I had to pick one over the other. 9. Have any siblings? I have a younger sister, Jessica. She's jessisahotmess 10. Why’d you pick your URL? DO YOU HAVE TO ASK???? 11. If you had to pick one tumblr user to be stuck on a deserted island with, who would it be and why? Ummm probably readingwithavengeance because she's my BFF and then we'd finally get to meet in person. Also she's in the army and I feel like she could save my helpless fat ass.

Tagged by ctechpiano:

1) What is your favorite television show and why? I don't know. Normally I'd say Doctor Who but like... RTD-era Doctor Who, lol. I guess right now it's "Orphan Black". 2) Who’s your favorite band and why? Hanson. Since I was 11, CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP. 3) Which country do you come from? The U.S. 4) How do you normally access tumblr? Through my computer, lol. 5) Are you on any other social networking sites? Twitter (ibelieveinher). Also FB but I hate it. 6) What is your dream job and why? Ummm... a writer but it'll never happen. 7) Who is your favorite person and why? Me. Because I think you should love yourself. 8) When you were at school (or if you are at school now) what was (is) for favorite subject? It's always been English. I have a pin on my purse that says "once an English major always an English major". 9) What fandoms are you in? Mostly DW but sort of also Orphan Black and The Walking Dead I guess. 10) What computer/phone/tablet do you have? I have a Kindle Fire that I use for books sometimes, a Samsung Galaxy S4 phone. I had a Dell Inspiron 15 up until Friday but I broke it like an idiot and now I have an HP Pavillion 15 I think idk. 11) How bored were you when you answered these questions? Super bored.

What happened to his hair? Like normally it’s the opposite of Milton Jones’ hair… Now it’s like they have the same...