#csa implied

ryland grace as a very bright but very angry child who lashed out at others because he was hurting and he wanted others to feel that hurt too and because he wanted to protect himself from more hurt even though realistically, it only ever brings more hurt onto him ryland grace whose home life was volatile and rife with sharp words and strikes across the cheek and touches that lingered too long but also acrylic nails scratching gently at his scalp and soft words calling him beautiful and precious and endless attention that didn't always hurt or make him squirm so maybe he's overreacting and this is normal and fine before death takes the only home he knows away from him in the most terrifying way possible and he's passed from home to home knowing he's unwanted which is so, so much worse ryland grace learning that to survive, he must either puff himself up to scare off threats or to shrink in on himself, force himself to be as small and take up as little space as possible ryland grace always feeling like he's made the wrong choice after the fact, berating himself for being overemotional or cowardly or overly confrontational or too aggressive or too much ryland grace resenting the parents of his kids when they're a little too controlling, when they grab his kid's arm a little too harshly, when his kids share things they told them that are wrong or mean and make his blood boil ryland grace having so much rage and pain he doesn't know what to do with and

I don’t know how to feel about being an adult now