A gift for @cryptid-cryptonomica, created by @birdiethebibliophile!
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Spit and Polish
The first time Aubrey went on a date with Dani, she had Duck help her redye her undercut red. She asked Barclay to make sure her vest was clean and she borrowed Jake’s polish to work her combat boots to an almost-new state, and she stole Ned’s scarf because it was nicer than anything she owned. She asked Mama to watch Dr. Harris Bonkers for the afternoon.
Dani knew all of this. She knew how much Aubrey was looking forward to the date, and how hard she was trying, so when she utterly forgot which day the date was until fifteen minutes before they had planned to meet at Amnesty Lodge, she was suitably horrified.
Dani was not even at Amnesty Lodge. Dani was twenty minutes away in the Monongahela National Forest, picking wild mushrooms for Barclay, when she suddenly remembered her date.
The good news: Dani was very fast, and she got back to Amnesty Lodge in ten minutes instead of twenty. The bad news: she was out of breath, red in the face, and covered in dirt, and only had five minutes to rectify things.
“Barclay!” she hissed, peeking into the kitchen.
“Dani? What are you doing here? I would’ve thought you’d be getting ready for your –”
“I know,” she said in a whispered wail. “I know! I forgot! I was out foraging!” She brandished the half-full basket at him in despair.
“Okay, it’ll be fine,” Barclay said, taking the basket and brushing Dani off. “Deep breaths. Deep breaths, Dani.”
Dani took some deep breaths, but it didn’t help much. “There’s no time!” she cried. “I can’t believe I forgot, I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks, and I just – I like – I like Aubrey so much, and now I’ve messed everything up!”
“Dani?”
Dani whirled around to see Aubrey standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Sure enough, her hair was bright red, her vest was clean, her shoes were polished, and she had a scarf knotted around her neck. Dani, on the other hand – well, her hair was tangled, and she was wearing hiking boots and an old flannel shirt, and she was pretty sure she had a smear of dirt down one cheek. Dani felt herself flush. “I’m sorry, Aubrey, I – I forgot, I’m –” She gestured at herself, and then at Aubrey, and then back, as if to illustrate the differences.
“What? Did you – do you have something else, like, a meeting or something?” Aubrey asked anxiously.
“What?” Dani said. “No, I mean – look at me. I’m all – you look so nice, and I was just out in the woods, I wanted… I wanted to make a good impression, Aubrey. It’s a first date and everything.”
Aubrey smiled, dimples and teeth and warm brown eyes, and Dani thought about how straight-up cute Aubrey was, and then Aubrey came over, bouncing on the balls of her feet next to Dani. “I don’t mind!” she said, and she reached up and rubbed her thumb over Dani’s cheek, brushing the dirt off, and Dani’s heart skipped maybe half a beat. “I think you’re cute like this. Outdoorsy. That’s something I like about you.”
“You sure?” Dani said. “You – you don’t want to reschedule or anything?”
“I’m sure,” Aubrey said, and took Dani’s hand (her sweaty, sap-sticky hand) in hers. “I like you so much too, Dani.”
(In the end, it didn’t much matter, because Aubrey dropped pizza on her vest, and Dani told a joke that made Aubrey laugh so much her eyeliner ran down her face in streaks, and afterwards they went for a walk by the river and Aubrey got mud all over her combat boots, and Dani kissed her right where she’d walked into a clearing earlier that day and remembered their date because the sun shining off the leaves reminded her of Aubrey’s bright smile.)
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A gift for @deadbonessinderhellaton, created by @cryptid-cryptonomica!
~~
Aubrey knew perfectly well that she got herself in this situation. She knew exactly why she was jammed in the back of Ned’s Lincoln with Dani and Jake. She knew that she’d be pressed against the window for an entire hour. Now, she was going to have to deal with the consequences.
She didn’t know why Jake had insisted on Dani sitting in the middle. Dani was taller than him, so logically, she should have had a side seat. Aubrey also didn’t know why Jake was wearing a shit-eating grin when he suggested it. Dani was too nice to refuse.
The road to Snowshoe wasn’t in the best shape. There was uneven pavement and potholes everywhere. Ned also seemed to manage to hit every single one. Each time, it would jostle Dani into Aubrey. A few times, Dani had to grab Aubrey’s shoulder in an effort to prevent herself from flying forward.
Aubrey was, in the nicest way possible, dying. Her crush on Dani was something that she was trying to hide, but she felt like she was being incredibly obvious. She hadn’t spoken a word since she entered the car out of fear of stammering or slipping up. She just looked out the window and tried to keep her face from getting red.
Unfortunately, Dani began to talk to Aubrey. She leaned over and whispered, “So, why are we here again?” into Aubrey’s ear.
“I just wanted a pumpkin spice latte,” Aubrey said, trying to not sound miserable. “And then you said you’d never had Starbucks so we had to fix that. Then Jake said he wanted Starbucks as well.”
“Is Starbucks really that good?” Dani said.
“No,” Aubrey said, “I just really wanted a pumpkin spice latte.”
“You convinced Ned to drive for an hour just so you could get a latte,” Dani said.
“I am very persuasive,” Aubrey said.
“And why is Duck here?” Dani said.
“I’d also like to know that,” Duck said from the front seat.
“Because!” Ned said.
“Because what?” Duck demanded.
“Just because!” Ned said.
Duck turned around so he was facing the back of the car. He glared at Aubrey, “This is your fault.”
Aubrey gave him the thumbs up and a sheepish smile, “It is.”
Ned hit a pothole. Aubrey felt like he did it on purpose this time, because Duck hit his head on the roof of the car and Dani nearly collided with Duck. Aubrey reached out, wrapping arms around Dani’s middle and steadying her.
“Thanks,” Dani said, a smile on her face.
“No problem,” Aubrey muttered back.
“Can you fucking learn how to drive?” Duck said, whirling back around.
“I don’t think so!” Ned said cheerily. Duck glared at him. Ned ignored it, and just said, “We’re almost there!”
Aubrey looked out the window, and saw that she could see the Starbucks from here. The parking lot was practically empty. They would most likely be the only customers in the store.
Ned pulled in, and they all filed out of the car. Aubrey stretched as she got out, and then extended her arms to point at the Starbucks sign, “Welcome, my friends, to Starbucks.”
“I expected something fancier,” Jake said.
“Yeah,” Dani said. “Like? Stain-glass windows and gold-leaf.”
“It’s a coffee shop,” Aubrey said, dropping her arms.
“Yeah, an expensive coffee shop,” Dani said.
“Indeed,” Ned said.
“Okay, but it’s also a chain restaurant,” Aubrey said, “It’s not going to be like a five-star cafe.”
“Ahh,” Dani said.
“Can we just get coffee, please?” Duck said.
“Alright,” Ned said.
They filed into the shop. Aubrey immediately bounced over to the counter.
“Hello, welcome to Starbucks, how can I help you?” The barista said.
“Hi!” Aubrey said, “Can I please get a grande pumpkin spice latte?”
“Sure thing,” the barista said. “Anything else?”
Aubrey waved Dani over. Dani nervously shuffled over. She looked up at the menu, clearly intimidated.
“What can I get for you?” the barista asked.
“Um,” Dani looked up at the menu. She turned to Aubrey and whispered, “There’s so much?”
“She’ll have the grande berry hibiscus refresher,” Aubrey said.
“And the names?” the barista said.
Aubrey gave the barista their names. She noticed that they spent more time on Dani’s cup than Aubrey’s. Aubrey didn’t bother commenting on it as she paid.
They stepped over to wait for their drinks. Once they got them, they found a table. Aubrey happily sipped her drink as she watched the rest of her friends order.
Duck just looked tired when he slid into the booth. He took a long drag of his drink before he said, “Why do they have more than one blend of coffee?” He didn’t give them time to answer. “Who needs three different kinds of coffee?”
“I don’t know?” Aubrey said.
“Like? What the fuck is a blond coffee?” Duck said.
“It’s Elle Woods,” Ned said, sitting down next to Duck. Aubrey looked at Ned’s drink. It was an unholy bright pink colour.
“What did you order?” Aubrey asked as Ned swirled the straw around.
“It is a vanilla bean frappe with raspberry syrup and dragon fruit,” Ned said.
“It hurts my eyes to look at,” Dani told him.
“It hurts my soul to conceptualize it,” Aubrey said.
“It tastes quite good, if you were wondering,” Ned said.
Jake finally joined them, also holding a pink drink with a mountain of whipped cream on it. It was less pink than Ned’s.
“Strawberry frappe?” Aubrey asked.
“I like it because it’s pink,” Jake said with a nod. He sat down next to Dani, and then said, “What’s that on your cup?”
“Huh?” Dani said, turning the cup around. “Oh.”
Aubrey looked over. In neat handwriting on the cup was a phone number, with the message call me written next to it. Aubrey tried to suppress her jealousy. It wasn’t Dani’s fault that she was absolutely gorgeous.
“How do I explain that I don’t have a phone?” Dani said.
“Just ignore it,” Aubrey said, a little harsher than she intended.
“It feels rude to just… throw away the cup,” Dani said.
“It’s unprofessional,” Aubrey said.
“Quite,” Ned agreed. “They should have asked you directly for your phone number.”
“Here, Dani,” Aubrey said, changing the subject. She handed over her drink, “Try some.”
“Does it taste like coffee?” Dani asked, wrinkling her nose as she took the cup.
“No, it tastes like sweet,” Aubrey said.
Dani took a sip, and made a face. “It tastes like coffee.”
“Oh,” Aubrey said, taking the cup back. “I don’t think so.”
“I like mine better,” Dani said, “It actually tastes like sweet.”
“Let me try,” Aubrey said. Dani slid the drink to her. Aubrey had a swig of it. Dani was right. It was incredibly sweet.
“What did you get?” Ned asked. He had an expression on his face that made Aubrey a little uncomfortable. She couldn’t exactly place what it was.
“The berry hibiscus,” Dani said, “That’s what you called it, right?”
“Yeah,” Aubrey said.
“Oh?” Ned said, a grin spreading on his face. “Did Aubrey suggest it?”
“Yeah?” Dani said.
“In Victorian times, giving a hibiscus meant that you were acknowledging the receiver’s beauty,” Ned said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Aubrey felt her face flushing. That was why Ned had a shit-eating grin on his face. She tried to subtly flip him off from under the table. Ned gave her a smug wink.
“Neat!” Dani said.
“Why do you know this?” Duck said.
“I’m gay,” Ned said, as if that were an answer enough.
