Olivia’s Diary
Desnus, 27th 4E250
It's five days hence the journey to the Stormford. I’m finding it harder and harder to care about my training. I fail to see the point of putting in the effort in if I am just to leave to conquer the Stormford. My family honor no longer hinges on becoming a knight. My “honorful duty” and “dutiful honor” will be fulfilled and I need not pick up my blade for anyone other than it’s wielder. They never took my training to heart anyway.
Sieren informs me my father going to be in meetings for a while, finalizing some plans for the expansion. So I probably won't see him until he sees me off. How many of these just regress to me being alone in this empty estate. An estate for one. I'm sure there is a poem there somewhere, a space too big for four, occupied by only one.
I'm just bored.
Desnus, 28th 4E250
twenty-two rooms all but twenty one used
A prison so big it can only leaves me so small.
A light pouring through the stained glass.
The warmth of the sun crashing down like a thunderstorm.
The sound but in my head and the rain but in my heart
A stillness creep on me.
Death?
I scream in my echo chamber. Mayhaps only because no one can hear.
The scream comes back off the barriers, but it's not me that screams back
Who screams back?
Who?
I need to come up with a title for this. Sieren heard me scream thought I was being murdered. I had to disappointed us both and tell her I was fine.
Desnus, 29th 4E250
I arose early today to watch Sieren pray. She just looks so peaceful and happy kneeling opposed the shrine. She so still, like a statue of an Angel and if I listen hard enough i can hear her soft breaths. It's mostly just impressive. I would be lying if I said I didn't long for something to be that devoted to. I don't think I can be a woman of bahamut like her. I haven't felt the “calling” that she speaks of, not that I would even know what that would feel like.
I took Silver rose to lord Berethor’s blacksmith. Now she's sharp as a wit Sieren tells me i have, but if all goes well it will just be a nice decoration. Father is highering 6 or 7 battle tested adventures to aid my journey. I’m a better diplomat than warrior anyway. Which is my apparent role; to quell the “barbaric” tribes roaming about the Stormford. With how poetic my father puts it, im almost excited to be disappointed. Alas, writing in this journal is the most fun I have any more. Sieren is making me sweet cakes for my last day here which is actually exciting. Makes me almost feel melancholy.
Desnus, 30th 4E250
♪ Oh little nightingale stuck in it's cage,
Suffocating, strangled, from all the space.
A heart full of sadness or is it rage?
As long as it's gilded with pose and grace.
Oh little nightingale goes tweet tweet tweet,
Alas, no one can hear it's cries for help,
A thought of death rings out as Sickly sweet.
To fall into silence with but a yelp.
Oh little nightingale stiff as a rock,
Oh Beauty and youth killed by a lock.♫
A stanza short of a sonnet but I think that makes it more fitting.
Desnus 31st 250
After some teasing and begging, Sieren let me spar with her. It was magnificent! I didn't even knew she knew how to use a rapier but she bested me rather easily. Her seven years in the war probably don't hurt her sword-hand. She let me win a couple of matches, to make me feel better no doubt but, It’s the happiest i've been all week. I had no idea fighting could be this exhilarating. It was almost like I was a child again like the first time she made me sweet cakes.
morrow is the “big day”. I get to be escorted by mercenaries into the wilderness. Sieren finished packing my things in time as always. I'm really going to miss her for these 2 years i'll be… colonizing I suppose? Me thinks i'll need to buy a mule tomorrow to carry my necessaries. Gods know I shant trust a sellsword to do so.
Suddenly i dread the adventure all together. I know I must but at it's precipice a married life suddenly seems sweet by compair Not to anyone my father would marry me to anyway. I know this is something i must do and yet i’ve never felt so unwilling. I will get to sleep early, less time to think myself out of it.











