#crowl talks

So we are reminded that the time is almost up with the Earth fleet closing on.

Big brother Nico, limping around but still worrying about the kids. It can't be helped though, that's who Wolfwood is.

This whole bit was hilarious. Even the power of the remake can't teach Vash how to drive. Yet he is still better than Livio XD (At the start, at least)

This one scene manages to do so much. Nicholas shining in this interaction with the kids. Vash sharing his blank ticket philosophy, that he inherited from Rem (and that seemed to awe even Nai), and I think the feather scene is building for that future moment of connection between the plants and humanity. Also there's something unexplainably enjoyable for me to see Vash actually talking about Rem.

Vash, ilu, but the girls just steal the spotlight each time they are on the screen. I like how Jessica is a semi-member to the M&M duo. Also it´s super cute how Milly hoped to see Wolfwood (I see you Millywood crumbs).

They really make Livio shine this episode. He is literally the cutest dude. And I just love how the neon gang is just your omnipresent miscreants XD

Just a lovely moment of Wolfwood with his mother figure. No wonder he is so polite to Luida, miss Melanie raised him well.

The cheer sass of that guy. Also, drop that goddamn cigaret, you old young man!

I´ve rewatched this scene an unholy amount times. This is literally everything I wanted. The girls got to see Nicholas again and they aren´t buying his "I'm fine" attitude. This is friendship, Wolfwood, this is people caring about you. Accept it!!! (not like you've got a choice XD)

I'd say "she had me in the first half", but that would be a lie, I've never doubted Luida being awesome even for a second.

I've never expected to like these two so much. They are definitely staying alive and I'm loving it, despite my initial doubts.

Oh my God, GEARHEAD MERYL, it's real, my girl, my heart T_T

I've had so many theories since Milly dropped that line about the worms and her sister and I can't believe I was right! This is amazing, Zazie, you minx, asking all those questions about who deserves to live, but you are totally biased for your pet humans.

Also, cameo of Milly's huge family XD

Quiet a costly ammo. But I loved how this moment was animated.

The boys are dicussing strategy and end up stumpted. But here comes Meryl with the idea! Inspired by Milly, of course.

I know I keep repeating myself, but I just can't help it, I LOVE this group dynamic, I love that we get to see them all laughing together, I love Nico and Livio goofing off as brothers.

I said I've got everything I've ever wanted? That was a lie, because this single frame made my heart utterly melt. Just look at that happy squint! And it seems Meryl started to get through that thick skull - "How would I ever stop you?"

I don't know if it's me being paranoid, but way too much stuff feels like foreshadowing. Plus Meryl has a track record of getting head-first into dangerous situations.

And Wolfwood's death flags never stopped flying. And given that there's obviously Legato next episode... Well, soon we'll learn Wolfwood's final fate in this story. (Which I'm actually extra scared about, since that whole body disintegrating moment)

So I assume this was our final breather before the final arc. I think the next episode is the one I've beein most anxious for. Especially now, while there's so much to lose on Vash's side. All the key players (except for the fleet) are congregating in one place for the great battle royale from the looks of it.

Now this is the personal part. Initially, I wanted to write it in Part 2, since it's mostly text, but it's gotten long enough and in different enough tone, that I decided it needs its own thing. I wanted to reserve a space for seemingly obligatory critique, but... I won't.

Whenever something moves me enough to write my own whole post, I can never stop thinking "Is what I'm writing adding anything worthwhile?", "Do I actually want to share those thoughts?" and so on.

And so I have nothing to add to the critique discourse, besides half-heartedly regurgitating all the points that have been beaten into the ground already.

Instead, I'm gonna share my joy and hope and some of my personal feelings.

When Stargaze was just starting, I commented how I couldn't pick my favorite iteration, because all of them were making me see the underlying whole better.

But I honestly didn't expect it to be this true. Like looking from a different angle or through missing lenses and to finally see what was that precious core underneath all the vibes and cool action.

I'm actually not a very emotional person, quite a cynic even (although that I try to keep inside, cause heavens know, there are enough cynics in the world), nitpicky and have delayed emotions. I don't cry over movies. Sure I enjoy a good story and cool choreography, but I still am the personalization of that meme where a person types ROFLSHDVVSV with a completely straight face. I can certainly appreciate a good writing, an interesting twist, and like the magpie I am, I'm certainly drawn to pretty colors and cool action and angles and impact frames. But that appreciation remains impersonal, clinical in how those emotions are rationilized and recognized by my brain, but stay on the other side of the screen.

I need to specify that the following part is pertinent to *my* experience specifically, as different people perceive and process different methods of storytellig differently and it's in no way, shape or form a critique of the original material. Quite the opposite.

So after reading the manga and watching the original anime, of course I recognized the appeal of its core, but not enough to pass the rationale of my brain, so I also could understand why it also was a somewhat obscure story.

Then Stampede and finally Stargaze came along.

One of the newest experiences for me with this season is my first impressions of some changes may not be bright. Even underwhelming. And usually that just makes me dislike something.

But here those moments got stuck in my head. And made me think and think and think. And then the realization hits me and burst out of my brain straight into my heart.

For example, my initial reaction to realizing that Wolfwood may truly survive (cause, boy, he can make multiple suits with those death flags) was some disappointment.

But then - when Nightow talked about conceiving Vash's character, he said how despite his love for westerns, wasn't it weird how easily and quickly people died and everyone moved on? So that was a foundation for Vash - someone who can't just accept death. That idea, that thought that death really isn't something to glaze over is a foundation of Trigun.

And yet here I am, disappointed that someone didn't die because it was supposed to make an "emotional impact". Have I truly become so desensitized to the concept? How death became such an easy fictional hook to illicit some emotion? Have the inherent value of life lost its meaning to me?

Because it is indeed everywhere, in practicality every media, every game. It's such a scary thing irl, and yet it's a nothinburger when it's shown or written. Even in the story about pacifism and hope and love and peace.

Somehow Stargaze broke the barrier of my mind and showed all those concepts, about hope, about understanding, about cherishing life and about passing on the Blank Ticket exactly in a way I needed to see for it to finally get through to my feelings. For the second time in my life, two decades later, a show made me cry in real life.

Now, while I wait for the dub to come out, I'm eager to once more revisit both the manga and the original anime. Because now I can emphasize with Vash's grief over every death, no matter how evil of a person that was. With Meryl's tears over the realization what a cold person she is in Little Arcadia.

Stampgaze finished the pyramide on the foundation of the all that came before it and finally could lift the mirror to reflect my own humanity.

So how can *I* critisize something that made me feel so much? For me, there's no higher grade than making a person feel so much, and so I have nothing but love left.

This adaptation had a major baranching point, that altereted the fate of the majority of characters. Meryl's speech about how Vash should share his burdens with them and everyone's compassion getting through to him so much earlier that he got that sentiment in the original.

Why is that important? Because Vash's belief in change and better tomorrow, while impropable in it's absolute version, is not inherently doomed. But it is absolutely impossible to lift by one person, no matter how powerful. It´s something that only can be achieved by reaching out with all of our collective hands.

No work is born in a vacuum, and in tragically poetic way, every version of Trigun had to fight for existence in various economic climates, production difficulties, cancelation and editorial pressure.

But Trigun is inspirational enough that every adaptation made their production teams give it their all to bring those ideas to life.

In one interview, Masako Sato called it a timeless story. And it is an absolute mark of a timeless story to be able to carry its themes through different settings and characters and events.

And I hope this story will continue to be told in decades and ages to come. Be it OVAs, movies, Trimax 1:1 adaptation with Nightow's involvement, or getting to see the full plan for Stampgaze, or a completely new iteration alltogether. As long as they are made with the same love for it. Animation industry changes and why not keep one's mind open to hope.

So thank you, Nightow and Studio Orange, for this gift.

I hope in the aftermath, we can all try to contribute to The Song of Humanity with more hopeful and cheerful voices.

Thank you, everyone, who cared to read till the end.

The End

Oh man, what a happy memory we are starting on! Just a pure joyfull moment... haha.... ha.... ha....

Meryl is growing from witness into the full on narrator of the story. Journalistic duo is making sure to record the whole thing, not only Vash´s part, but that of the whole age of calamity No Man´s Land is going through.

Side note - the enviroments make wish those were real places I could visit.

Now this is an interesting detail - I guess at the end of it all no one has time or funds to put away criminals.

Every time the girls are on screen, they completely steal the show XD

I guess this is a confirmation of what happened to Tesla´s remains...

I wonder if we´ll get more exposition on Rem in this series to shine more light on why the twins, who see the same horrors happening, chose such different paths to deal with it.

Ah, so lovely to see the girls on their classic method of transportation. Meryl-sempai used ´responcibility´ - it failed! I love how Milly is still a rural girl, but here it means she is a worm wrangler.

Milly, sweatheart, what did you mean by that?!?!

Jessica´s smug faces are an absolute delight.

And so we learn that Home has been preparing for a fight. Humanity isn't going gently into that good night.

We continue to see the rescued Gung-Ho Guns and I keep wondering, whether they've truly got a second chance in this universe, or was their demise merely delayed?

Holy matrimony, Batman, Meryl could not have found a better partner)))

Seems like we've gotten our final location. Knives is being quite methodical this time, herding all humans into one location, to wipe them out in the collision of earth and sky.

And now here's my favorite moment in this whole episode. In the face of everyone's unity, preparing for a fight, Meryl is the one human considering feelings and worth of the one plant, who started it all. Truly, is there an exit out of this maze?

Just how often do you talk about Vash, for Milly to learn your 'Vash thinking face', Meryl? XDD

It's interesting, how Conrad's logic still makes sense. Ruthless and mostrous logic, yet in the end of it he still wishes for humanity's survival.

You can't screenshot humming, but those few seconds literally trumped every Legato scene in its creepines. halp...

There isn't a neon sign bright enough that could make Knives' hypocrisy more obvious now.

And we are also getting closer to the question that tormented me since Elendira's introduction - what is her role is going to be in the end? Not really human, not really plant. I think she herself already doubts wherther there's a place for her in Nai's paradise.

I'm sure this choice right here will not bite anyone on their ass. Mhhmmhhh. Totally.

Oh dear, oh my. The events are starting to cascade now. That's it, folks, strap in, don't stick you limbs out and enjoy the ride!

The humanity's trial on this planet has finally come to an end, thanks to everyone's efforts.

And while most are leaving, some are staying behind to care for the flora Nai has turned into. In a bittersweet way, he is finally surrounded by human's love and care.

Only now the fleet is bringing more than just humans aboard. Zazie is probably having the time of their life, getting to observe so many living things that's not "them". And Milly sees right through the act XD

The theme of communication and understanding has always been important in Trigun. But I love this little expansion of it. Just as we learn, we forget. Pain comes and ebbs away in time with its memory. And that's why it's imortant to never lose that desire to learn. So that whatever we forget or lose, however much we fail, we can find it all again.

This moment really got to me. A full circle. A way to show that Meryl's efforts and growth has been appreciated and that her wishes have reached the feelings of people. That those words and records matter. That they can bring change.

But also, it feels like a gratitude from the team to the story itself. For letting them be close to it and get to tell it to a new generation.

And now I realize - this house is the representation of Vash. Decrepit and foreboding at the start of the season. And now, covered in green, full of light and important memories on display.

Oh, Vash. You'll never get to fade into the background while so many people love you. Much like Meryl brought back Vash's laugh in episode 4, here she is once again, with everyone, to urge Vash to use his Blank Ticket once more. To invite him to new adventures, to live, to laugh and to stay by his side until they are old and wrinkly together. (Not to mention there's no reason to retire when even the grumpy grampa Wolfwood doesn't put up a fight with being dragged around XD)

It's a journalist's job to make sure people's feelings reach their destinations and Meryl Stryfe will make sure everyone's feelings make it to Vash.

Another lovely detail. Here Vash's coat is a symbol of love and care from humans in his life, so that no matter where his life takes him and how hard it gets, he can always feel the embrace. And that's what what he leaves on Nai's grave.

And that's how we leave this story. On the way to horizons new and unknown, carrying the memories and the resolve we've found through trials and triumphs. Together.

Part 2, Part 3

This imagery alone is worth its own description. Earth's fleet spear against Nai's dragon. And his choice of retaliation being not to attack directly, but to drag them all down with him.

I don't think it's any kind of secret by now that Meryl is my favorite character in all of the versions of Trigun. Here's a culmination of her arc - where the twins' connections have been limited by the weight of the dead and the past, each trying to impose their own view in a way, however radically different they are, Meryl reaches out to plants openly. Not claiming understanding or offering a bargain, but the most earnest plea for help and the promise to try to build a better future. And to that heartfelt yearning they respond. And together, they soothe the storm of pain and fear powering that dragon.

There's so much in that final fight between the brothers that it's hard to organize my thoughts, so I'm abandoning any pretense of describing single moments.

I know that one of the interpretations of Wolfwood's death and Vash killing Legato is that it shows how imperfect Vash's pacifism is. But that's never how I saw it. Vash's ideology and him dragging it on his shoulders has been imperfect from the very start. It's carved in his body, it brings him pain and sadness, and despite his best effort seems to leave the trails of deaths and broken promises. And he has being doing it alone, because he wasn't blind to how any human would perish from attempting to carry it his way.

When I initially finished the manga and was discussing it, long before we had even a trailer for Stargaze, my quote for Knives was "Isn't it ironic how Knives impulses are so much easier to understand despite his claims of being a "higher being". All that anger and fear of humanity and lashing out because of it makes him so much closer to humans (or the worst part of us, at least), than Vash's steadfast commitment to mercy".

This is a quote from CS Lewis’ A Grief Observed. I wanted to iclude it, because this is what comes to my mind, when thinking about how this story has happened because two brothers has reacted so differently to their grief.

So, what those moments meant to me, was that it was one of the most raw human experinces that Vash has been lacking. To finally understand that anger born out of fear of loss fo a living person, not a ghost of the past. The anger and fear that powered Knives for over a century. To be so consumed by it, as to raise a killing hand.

And honestly, I actually love that this variant of the story took a risk to separate those events. Does death carry more impact that survival? Does intent to kill matter less when interrupted? I love being asked new questions to consider.

In the final of Stampede, all Vash cared about was running away to protect people. But now, seeing how despite losing everything, Nai can't abandon his goal, his view, his dedication, Vash choses to fight his brother. But Vash would not be Vash, if his fight was not to save the other person. And so, having been brought down to a human level and having felt the source of Nai's pain that severed his faith in humanity, Vash is finally able to reach Nai's heart.

And one thing that a hurt person desperately wants is to have their pain acknowledged. And so the bridge between the brothers is finally formed. For once they can actually talk and understand each other. And with it, everything starts to pour out.

Tesla's pain, plants feelings and sadness can finally be laid to rest. And Rem's feelings, the one that made her chose to stay behind and something that Nai thought of as her choosing humans over them, has finally reached him.

As I've mentioned, at the end of Stampede, Vash wanted to run away and to stay close to the humanity he loves. Nai wanted to be safe from humans and to be among his kin with his brother.

In the end of Stampede Vash failed completely, he didn't reach his brother, he couldn't get away, he was the one to pull the trigger that decimated hundreds of people and Nai as well.

In the end of Stargaze, Nai failed completely. Rejected by his kin, the remaining sisters choosing to save humanity by heeding Meryl's plea, after ignoring his own. And in the end, couldn't even spare his brother the pain he kept hidden for a 150 years.

But now the brothers have finally reached an understanding. So Vash, being Vash, thinking his brother unable to make peace with humanity after all that he's given up, offers to join him, in the world away from everything, at the cost of himself. And just like Rem, who valued protecting the twins over her own life, Nai refuses his hand, instead choosing to become the water and soil that'll let the humans Vash loves so much to live on this planet with his brother. Became the cooling rain that falls on everyone indiscriminately.