#crowkey

*shoujo anime opening music*

Elanuelo don’t fumble now Elanuelo (you just know he will…. you just know… he can’t handle them birds…)

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For trekchik

“Our next contestant is His Infernal Highness, Crowley” “Yes, yes, let’s get on with this mess, shall we?”

“For today’s potential Dream Dates, we have Hoarder/Grumpy Old Man Bobby Singer, Everyone’s favorite Serial Killer, Demon!Dean and... uh...um, Becky Rosen” “Hi, Gabriel! It’s so great to be here.” “Yeah... that’s nice, Becky.”

“Really? This is the best you could come up with?” “Well, there wasn’t exactly a line of people clamoring for a date with a demon.” “Not a demon, a King of Hell. Get it right.”

“No matter, let’s begins: Bachelor #1, how would you try to woo me?”

“I wouldn’t, ya idjit! I only came on here so that I could give you a piece of my mind!”

“Oh Bobby, don’t act like we didn’t have a deep connection of the souls. That kiss told me everything!” “You’re a demon! You don’t even have a soul!” “I had yours for awhile.” “Why, you stupid, good-for-nothing...”

“That’s it! I’m outta here. I’d rather spend my time polishing angel toilets than deal with this dumbass.” “Moving on, I suppose: Deanmon, describe your perfect date?”

“Oh, easy. Three words: Wings, Karaoke, Triplets. We’re going to rock out with-”

*FWOOSH* “Nope. No you don’t.” “Cas! What the-?”

*FWOOSH* “... And contestants are dropping like flies.”

“Do you want to keep going, Crowley or-?

“Excuse me! I’m still here. You haven’t even bothered to ask me any questions yet.”

“Right. Becky. Here’s a question for you then, dear: What makes you think a wee thing like you could handle me?”

“Oh please, you couldn’t handle me.”

“Whoa-ho, some awfully big words from Little Miss Sweater Vest.”

“Don’t let the clothes fool you. Kinky doesn't even begin to describe me. I would rock your world, and then rock your Underworld.”

“Becky, love, you do realize that I am a 350-year-old demon and the King of Hell, yes?” “And I would still break you in half.”

“...” “Well, mark me down as scared and horny.”

Bonus: