#crosswicks

"Crosswicks Home"

I'm asked with increasing frequency, 'But why marry?', a question to be taken seriously, especially when it comes from young people who have seen their parents' marriages end in divorce, or in constant bickering and hostility, which is almost worse. The desire to make sure that there is integrity in love, that neither partner wants to use or manipulate the other, is a healthy one. But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take.

If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation. And there is a risk of failure. It doesn't always work. There are marriages which for one reason or another simply do not become marriages. There are times when two people who have taken the risk have to accept the brutal fact of failure, and separation, and divorce. But, far too often, people quit simply because the going is rough, and this is almost more sad than the marriage manque.

I don't understand why some women consider childbearing a humiliation; it's an extraordinary act of creativity, and men suffer a great deprivation in being barred by their very nature from this most creative of all experiences.

And it's not part of the American atmosphere where the amoeba, rather than the human being, would be the logical symbol of success. Amoebas never betray each other by dying. Nor is there any sexism in the amoeba's culture - though this may be because there isn't any sex. The amoeba produces by dividing and subdividing, which doesn't sound like much fun. However, fun or no fun, the amoeba is a success - and when I consider the world's definition of success, I doubt if there's ever much fun involved. But the amoeba is way ahead of the human being, because it is immortal. It has no normal life span. Unless killed by some unforeseen accident, the amoeba lives forever.

I sometimes get very angry at God, and I do not feel guilty about it because the anger is an affirmation of faith. You cannot get angry at someone who is not there.

Jesus grew up to heal and preach at the expense of all [The Holy Innocents], and I have sometimes wondered if His loving gentleness with small children may not have had something to do with this incredible price.