#crosssansintroject

Just wanna start this of by saying I'm not dating him just because of his source – we've been dating since before he even knew he has DID and that he's a fictive. I don't see him as the guy from my memories, because he isn't, he's his own person, and I love that person! But sometimes it's kind of weird, sometimes it's upsetting.

Because he has the same name, a lot of the same mannerisms, a lot of the same likes and dislikes. So, every time I look at my partner, I think back to my canon, and I miss that guy. And I don't even know if I get more upset when he acts exactly like him, or if he does things that the guy from my memories would have never done. Both gives me this odd sense of discomfort.

I feel really bad about this. He's not just his source, and that's not at all what I see him as, I don't know why I keep thinking this. I'm not trying to use him to just "fill the hole" or whatever, and I feel guilty? It's all really weird.