#crossed.

Like oh boy time to read a story about how everything gets bad with no reason and simply JUST for the sake of "oh Jesus Christ that's quite literally the worst things possible and also all the bad luck happens all of the time everywhere always" and then it still somehow got worse and then got worse and then got worse and then got worse and then got worse and then got worse and then got worse Like I don't need to fucking hear that.

Like oh boy constant negative narrative contrivances simply for the sake of making the story worse and bleaker because- at a certain point I have to absolutely say- it's at least partially GOTTA be because he wants to write more of it, so many outs of endings have been given and it's just a matter of fucking depravity or greed I'd have to assume. Cuz like there's a difference between making art that depicts things like that and making art for the sake of making things that depict things like that...

Like it's not the gore, that's fine, that's what we're made of, it's the way it's not even commentary, It is truly just violence for the sake of seeing it in its most unfettered and attempts to act as though it is pointing out something.

The existence of the Crossed series in my mind is that of someone walking into a room, seeing a tapestry created throughout the entirety of human history, understanding that it has a bunch of colors and shapes on it, and then literally actually just smearing their shit all over it because "Well but everyone's allowed to contribute to it right?, and someone might have done this at some point and I just did now so that means that you should have never been okay with it in the first place cuz someone could have been a shithead like I am on purpose intentionally right now"

It’s almost like he can see the smile in her words, or is it the emoticon. It’s definitely the emoticon. But he’s wearing one of his own, one that reads pride mostly for not having done anything wrong—or read something wrong. 

Something like that. Still, at least he’s not holding anything suspicious when he gets out and goes for the kitchen. To look for what—for his mother of course. Jinri mentioning banana milk gave him an idea that he has to put to good use. He does find his mother in the kitchen, she’s always supervising everything.

"Mom, my one and only, the most precious mother of all times." He’s saying that, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his cheek against hers and he knows that she knows. He wants something.

"Can I have some banana milk?" He asks when she gives him the look that says spill, and really she makes the best ones, clearly he’d rather have them homemade than have to buy some that wouldn’t do the trick at all. Although Haerim’s ultimate favourite is the strawberry one. 

But then she’s wearing a frown, that says she’s suspicious of what his intentions are, “Is it for you?” 

"Of course!" Best course of action is to not hold eye contact for too long, because she’s moving around the kitchen and Haerim proceeds to hop on a free counter even though she gives him a reprimanding look but she lets him be anyway. He then pretends that the texts he has to send is the most interesting thing ever just to avoid the eye contact. Avoid the eye contact and his soul will not be revealed to his mother’s expertise on discovering everyone’s secrets. 

There’s a frown etched onto his features, wondering exactly what the difference would make. He just has to give it to her though, she has the weirdest train of thoughts. A bit odd, now she’s admitting to wanting to try it out anyway, or is she. All the last message reminds him ,is that he’s been heavily distracted away from his studies too. In fact the book laying on his lap is being discarded and he’s thinking about the offer. 

[ m s g ]→ jinri: I think it wouldn’t make a difference, burritos or doritos, still weird. 

But then again, what is there to think about? He’s getting tired of studying as well. Stealing a bottle out of his father’s office wouldn’t hurt. Even though he will have to do it without his mother catching on and then inquiring about where he’s going-so he has to be fast. 

It’s only as he’s past the door to the office and holding a bottle of vodka in his hand with a grin that reads success on his face that another thought strikes him. Maybe she didn’t ask for an alcoholic drink, it would make sense, considering—yeah, considering that. 

His laughter is a bit too loud, catches his mother’s attention when she walks by the couch, holding what looks like a flower pot. It makes her stop and has Haerim craning his neck to look up at her, best innocent expression plastered on his face. 

"What are you doing?" She ask, not buying into his expression one bit but he just gives her grin and then waves at the book on his lap.

"Studying, mom, studying, unlike someone else that you should go bother." His hand’s pointing towards the stairs, selling out Hyeri most likely but it’s a good trick, it always work. Worry more about the troublemaker, leave the nice people alone.

But at least he can focus on texting back, fact is if his mom ever learned of who he is currently talking to, she would ask lots of questions—that’d most likely lead hi to tell the truth because he doesn’t like lying to her. And as it is, she’s too up to dates with every news that passes on the tv. Since she has literally too much time on her hands. 

Studying, the worst part of actually continuing his studies. Although, he took it half seriously, half jokingly, because he still had to not get stressed over any of it. Or it will ruin it for him. He’s distracted out of it though, with the vibration of his phone, so he’s reaching over to get a hold of it where it was sitting next to him. There’s a quick smile on his face at seeing the name on the screen. But then, then there’s a clear chuckle that turns into a surprised laugh. Not so surprised, he should stop being that at least. 

[ m s g ]→ jinri: because they’re not supposed to, I am pretty sure. how many have you had?

But then there's an idea that slides in the second he makes to let his phone on the side and resume his studies. It's with a grin that he quickly adds. 

He let his eyes skim across the messages, a small smile settling on his features as he quickly made to reply.

[ m s g ]→ jinri: Don’t worry about it, and no I didn't, I'm down atthe cafeteria now but I’ll go and check to see if I can find it.

Besides that she even was the one reaching out to him first instead of the other way round? It had him feeling better about the guilt this plan was tripping him right in. He just had to keep telling himself he was doing this for a good reason, someone had to do it and it was worth it because she was actually asking him to help her now.

It was also a good thing he was down at the cafeteria and would only need to go upstairs to the library. He wasn’t sure where she was sitting though, maybe ask her that as he made his way out of the cafeteria.