#cringy synastry

Sun conjunct Pluto specifically in the 8H

I think I'm a little biased here because I am an 8th stellium with several planets conjuncting Pluto, so I'm kind of familiar with this energy, and I just don't like it 🤣 I mean, it is cute if you're going for that very novelesque fantasy of the overly attached boyfriend or slightly obsessed girlfriend; then fine. But in my opinion, this promotes an unnecessarily intense relationship, and very quickly. The Pluto person is usually the one to become fascinated with the Sun person, to the point of wanting to know everything about them and pretty much be in their mind 24/7. They want to understand everything about them but the problem is that they also want to know their secrets and want to get in their business and it's too invasive. The sun person ends up feeling overly exposed, and that could feel very violating. I don't know; I just don't like it simply for the fact that there's so much black-and-white thinking involved in this connection that it's just not healthy. Like they can go from loving each other completely to hating each other entirely, and that's just not a thing for me.

Neptune conjunct/square mercury in the 3H/7H/9H

I don't like these aspects simply because there is confusion in areas where there really shouldn't be, especially in the context of a relationship. Specifically in the context of a romantic relationship. When Neptune is conjunct or Square someone's Mercury in the 7th house, this could look like confusion about what the relationship even is. One day the person is very clear and honest about communication, and the next day they are flaky or just quiet entirely. Lots of mental/emotional and mind games around how each other feels about one another, as well as how they feel about being in a relationship with one another. Deception is also a possibility here as well.

Neptune conjunct/Square mercury in 3H

This is a hard one because both people might feel like they have to constantly read between the lines when speaking to the other person, because communication never really feels straightforward. Or, if something important needs to be said, they usually hear it from a third party or from somebody else, so they might struggle with being direct with one another. It's too many misunderstandings in my opinion. Both people could have a tendency to lie and use others, I guess, to pedal their lies. It's icky imo because communication almost feels intentionally murky, and that's because these two can be verbally aggressive with one another, sort of like they want to incite a verbal reaction out of each other. Toxic af when it's bad.

Neptune conjunct/Square mercury in 9H

This synastry seems too…emotionally manipulative to deal with in my opinion. I definitely understand the appeal of this synastry because, well, for starters, the conversations are immediately very deep and even otherworldly. You might be talking to this person about things that you feel weird even thinking about, especially about spirituality or taboo subjects, but you feel comfortable doing so. The problem that I find is that one person tends to be more of the philosopher or spiritual one in the connection, and they might be very preachy, but over time what they are saying lacks a lot of substance, or they're very hypocritical. For instance, they might have these “rules” about life that are kind of condescending, and they don't even follow them themselves. I think issues arise with this synastry because one person really is all talk and no action, and over time the other person becomes disillusioned about them. It's like being sold a great image of a relationship just for that illusion to be shattered over time. There's also a lot of love bombing here.

Pluto or Moon in 12H synastry

I don't like this, nope nope nope. Let's start with Pluto. It really does not matter what kind of relationship you have with this person; if your Pluto lands in their 12th house or vice versa, you are dealing with somebody who will literally never leave you alone. Even if you are not in contact with these people, they will somehow try to insert themselves into your life, even indirectly. For instance, they are the kinds of people who are keeping tabs on your money and your business through flying monkeys or mutuals. This can go on for years. These people don't know how to let things go, so that's why I find this very icky. They also betray each other in ways that you probably didn't even think were possible. It's too intense; there's too much unnecessary mystery and angsty energy between you and the person. Don't love it.

But I LOATHE the moon in 12H synastry. From the charts I've read, I have noticed a strong pattern here. This always gives fuck boy / fuck girl energy. Maybe the two of you are both fuck people lol, but this synastry creates too much mistrust and misunderstandings between people. I think that this could also lead to an unhealthy codependency and even some cognitive dissonance, especially on the part of the Moon person. I think that the moon person can definitely overgive to the point where they start disrespecting themselves for the sake of wanting the house person. I think the house person can create delusions in their mind about the moon person, which causes them not to trust them at all and the house person can just feel too invaded by the moon person. I think both people tend to like the idea of one another more than they actually like each other? And all of this has to do with the Neptunean influence because the 12th house is naturally ruled by Neptune, so there will be a certain level of fanatical delusion between both people…but life is not a movie, specifically a bad romance movie…people have to be fairly direct about what they want, and this synastry doesn't always give that. Plus, I've noticed the pattern of people just not being able to move on from each other when they have this synastry. Like, they literally feel haunted by the other person in their psyche, which is kind of gross, so there's that lol.

2H stelliums in synastry with personal planets

Now I find this icky because I don't like being smothered lol. It does not matter what kind of relationship we are talking about either; this could be a romantic relationship or even a friendship or coworker bond etc. These people will be very handsy and very aggressively protective of you. I guess it's not a bad thing, but it could become a problem when you feel like the other person is acting like they own you. This is the kind of synastry that starts off as a beautiful, gorgeous rose that slowly withers away and dies… lol jkjk. But this post is about what I find icky, so let's get into it. Sometimes these people project insecurities onto one another, and they kind of expect each other to fix those insecurities for them. For instance, I've noticed this a lot when it comes to physical autonomy, specifically over how one dresses. This is the kind of synastry where one partner might not like how the other partner dresses and makes comments or even passive-aggressive “jokes” about it, which would then pressure the partner to change the way that they dress. It's small control things like this, and in a really bad relationship it could even be over things like food and money. I do feel that in most scenarios people are normal lol, but I think that with this synastry there's also a level of expected reciprocation that might not be very realistic. One or both people might do things for each other simply to one up one another, or to have some kind of control over one another. I don't like it because I enjoy autonomy without explaining myself lol. I mostly see control issues when it's like sun/mercury/Venus or Mars and Jupiter, even Pluto.

Your rising (or theirs) in their 8H/10H/12H

You wanna talk about CREEPS?!!! 👀 These people literally become obsessed with you well after the relationship, friendship or family bond is over. You could be no contact for years, and they are still checking in with you semi-annually. It's kind of like a sickness in my opinion lol. I don't like this because these people like to think that they know you better than you know yourself but really all they know is the image you're projecting out to the public which is not even who you really are lol so these people could be know it all, they could be the kind of people that don't really respect your space, your opinions, or even your boundaries. They are way too intense with you and definitely not like that with other people, and the premise of your connection is never going to be casual. They are always coming into your life to serve some kind of purpose, and when it's not good, it's usually really bad lol. It's icky. They could feel so performative to get you because they admire you so much, or you could start feeling like you have to be performative to be with them because they make you uncomfortable. If you have mutual connections, they will definitely use these people as a source to essentially get in your business.

Lilith in 1H / Lilith in 3H / Lilith in 12H

EEEEEYUCCCCK. let's break it down.

Lilith in 1H is not my favorite because it promotes some gross shit sometimes🤷🏽‍♀️. For instance, I see a lot of fetishism involved with this synastry. Two people intentionally getting involved together due to the differences that they want to fetishize, like their race, their age, their gender, or any other taboo-like subculture. It opens doors for weird race play and uncomfortable situations, and it allows creeps to be creeping, in my opinion. That is on a grander scale, of course; I also don't like it because at least one person in the dynamic is aggressively chasing the other person specifically based on the fact that they are very physically attracted to the person. I have heard “love stories” that sound more like horror stories because it's like one person is capturing the other, rather than being gentle and patient and approaching things through the lens of love. I'm not saying that this is the kind of connection that could never be a loving connection, but this is my personal opinion. Usually, the basis of this connection is some weird sexual desire, and sometimes the only thing bringing the two people together is this desire or this fetish. No bueno.

Lilith in 3H is just cringy. I mean, if you're down with constantly feeling like you have to keep up with a performance, go for it, but I find this synastry VERYYYY performative, especially sexually. What brings these two together is definitely their mutual love for dirty talk, and if one person really isn't into that, they will get into that having this synastry. My problem is not necessarily the dirty talk. My problem is how the two talk to each other in general. I find that communication is very aggressive; both people are prone to swearing at each other, calling each other names, etc. Verbal abuse is very big here and ain't nobody got time for that. But on top of that, over time it seems like the things that they love about you, they end up hating? lol, so for instance, if you got together on the basis of enjoying some phone sex, they would then somehow use that against you in the future, like calling you a h*e or whatever. It's like they enjoy the temptation that you are, and they enjoy how the two of you can really dig into some wildly sexual and taboo fantasies, but when things are not good, they go and use it against you and make you look like a jezebel. The mental abuse can be just as crazy as the verbal, and that's why I don't jive with this synastry.

Lilith in 12H is like shackling yourself to nothing. Much like Lilith in the 1H, Lilith in 12H is often fetishized, but what is different is that this connection primarily functions in the dark. The relationship could be private, there could be cheating scandals involved, or they could be a fair partners, etc. Weird and inappropriate sexual things can happen privately that will never come out to the public, even if those things are harmful. Unfortunately, this is the kind of synastry I have seen in situations of SA. Not always, but I've made note of it enough to comment on it. I don't like it because, depending on what sign Lilith is in, what is ruling the 12H, and what else is going on…this could be a really dangerous aspect, and what makes it extremely dangerous is the fact that it's all happening in the dark. There's definitely an unfair or unequal balance of give and take between both people, and I think that, much like a lot of 12H synastry, things are too up in the air for anything to ever really happen outside of the bedroom or in the dark corners that they like to hide in, between these two people.