#criminalrecord

Between gasps, I found myself running in what seemed to be a forest. Why? Sometimes it's better not to think about it too much, especially when I feel this intense instinct to flee.

Not far away I stopped on the shores of a lake, I approached the water and as expected i saw a figure in it, not quite that manikin crudely covered by layers and layers of skin and flesh that never failed to creep me off but an ugly reminder, a grotesque reflection...of what I could have become. So barely like me, so similar to her and so akin to the 'me' they wanted me to be. But whatever i am now... was it better?

Cold sweat trailed down my face at the realization of what was i looking at, caught of guard that same figure took me by the legs down deep in the lake. So it was real? It was not me? That was a slightly comforting thought.

Water filled my lungs, water blurred my vision, water distracted me from the figure, which i was grateful of, isn't funny i'm more worried of that than the fact that i'm dying? I just closed my eyes, giving up. Yet my body kept trying to rushedly take a breath only to let more water in...

Eventually everything became pitch black.

Out of the sudden i heard a loud slam, one that i unfortunately already expected.

I heard a familiar voice with no motivation whatsoever, muttering a "wake up", tapping at the table i was leaned on with an empty glass.

I grumbled, feeling the common symptoms of a hangover. Groggily opening my eyes.

Hm, it seems that the nightmares hadn't stopped.

How totally and utterly boring...

"Yeah yeah i already heard, you don't need to shoo me away..."

I snatched the glass from their hands and placed it on the table. Composing my usual attitude.

I stood up. Staring for a few seconds at the mess on the table. Was it vomit? Drool? Alcohol? Did it matter? I abruptly looked away after noticing it's reflection.

"Ahem! Well, that was certainly another miserable busy day. A very hectic one too, considering the state of the place. How fortunate of me that my contract doesn't extend to cleaning, i grant you my deepest condolences~"

Before letting them speak back i continued.

"Oh but take a look at the time!"

I looked at an unexistent watch at my wrist.

"It seems it's time for me to leave. How fast a night goes with a few sips, huh? Farewell, jellyfish~ Good luck tidying this hell-hole up."

I quickly started walking towards the exit, waving at them from the back. Wanting desperately to get away from there.

Tonight was as uninteresting and as insufferable as every single one... But hey at least the mediocre meal of the table was gone, it's now time for the dessert!

I continued walking through the same path, at the same hour, to the same apartment and motivated by the same reason -- Holy wow! I really need to change my schedule don't I? Since i got that job once night arrives the rest of the day becomes monotonous...

I let out a snort.

"Well at least it's not as monotonous as his. We both sin of it."

Eventually, there I was, just a bang away from my destiny. Before I knocked the door a hunch stopped me. Hm i wonder if...

*Rattle rattle*

Yes, it was unlocked. Hah! How clumsy can he be? It was almost funny~

Admittedly, his incompetence is almost fascinating. Once the door opened i was greeted by those wary, navy corpse-like eyes.

"Ah there is my o so precious other half!"

Ulysses was located on his natural habitat, hunched over his desk with a pile of books of this and that, tracing the pages with one hand and holding a mug of coffee with the other. What was expected of him.

After the door was shut i quickly approached to the desk, embracing him from behind.

"Are you aware you left the door open again!? You seriously have no survival instincts do you? What if someone just decided one night to take advantage of that weakness and end you here and now!...Maybe i'm just thinking of that because i could do that, yet it is still quite worrisome if you ask me! Anyways, how has that silly hobby been treating you since I passed through here?! Or perhaps obsession would be more fitting... I see you almost finish reading that one, was it that short? Or perhaps you left it on stand-by until now?"

"Forgive me, most of the covers are very similar, so it's hard for me to tell them apart!"

Such a lie that was.

"Well now that i'm here what about you--"

However, i was interrupted by his clearly tired voice.

"..Can you not?" Ulysses mumbled condescendingly between his teeth.

"Pardon?"

Once he realized I heard him, he trailed off.

"E-Erm...uh I-I meant..."

He paused again, gathering his thoughts i imagine.

"Just is that.. i don't really have energy to stand- no! Erm..to deal? with yours at the moment.. So could you leave me alone? ...Please?"

"Heh, you think that some please and thank yous will free a little bird like you from disarray's gaze? You should know better that by now~ An unstoppable divine force like me won't EVER be persuaded with such ease!"

His eyes darted around anxiously only to land to his precious book.

"Fufu, fiiine i'll spare you. For now~"

He tensed as i leaned to his cheek to give a small kiss before retreating.

---

"Soooo-- what is that you're reading?"

No response.

"What? Have you fallen in love by its words?" Or perhaps asleep with eyes open.

...

Again my words were recieved by pure silence. My, this tidy people and their silly hobbies being lessened to unresponsive flesh blobs. Ending him would be too easy in this state... heh.

---

"My dear~! That stomach of yours must surely be grumbling by now. Take, sate thy hunger."

I placed a steaming bowl of vegetable soup on the desk.

"Provecho."

He replied with a "Hm" of...what? Acknowledgement? Was it caution?

Who knows what's up with Ulysses tonight, or today actually it is very late after all. I do have my suspicions though. Someone so logical should've understood already that i am no threat, but he DID look perturvated from last night's events...so it's highly possible.

Rolling my eye i walked away.

---

Tch, he didn't even took a sip. What a tragedy, there was nothing wrong with the meal. Even for his standards he usually at least tried what i prepare...is he still thinking about that!? I didn't even add meat to it...!

Nevertheless of my irritation, my eye drifted to Ulysses' direction. There he was, illuminated by the faint glow of the candles, apparently motionless if it wasn't for the subtle quiver of his body.

He glanced over his shoulder, eyes widening as he saw i was still there. He jumped before hurrying back to his book.

Ah I couldn't help but chuckle at such endearing panic! It's not that I wish for his distrust, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't love his face recoiled in terror.

I observed how much he tried to ignore the sounds of my footsteps heading towards him, how much he told himself to not look back.

And shortly after, I ran a hand through his hair. I hesitated if i should take off my gloves to feel it but that's...t-that's for another day i fear!

Ignoring my own feelings on the matter and his i figured the best course of action would be nuzzling! At the end of the day even if i despise the thought the skin in this face is technically mine's. And so i did.

*Sniff* It smelled like coffee, how unsurprising. He let out a gasp of uneasiness. He's a piece of cake to startle, isn't he?

"Uh...what are you doing?"

"Last time I checked, being close to one's partner is a conventional way of showing affection, was it not?"

"I-I'm aware of that is just-- is just that..why?" He asked skeptically. "If it was to torment me at least it would be believable..." He confessed with loath.

"Partially it is, i admit i'm guilty of amusing myself at the expense of others. But don't i always? Why suddenly commenting on it?"

He looked me directly in the eyes, perhaps trying to regain some control in vain. "Because you j-just..! You can't just behave like nothing happened, Sonia!"

"Oh you're raising your voice now? What a novelty~"

"See!? Y-You don't even take this o-or me seriously..! Why--"

I leaned closer with a warning look. "Because i don't care, owl."

"Huh...?" That stumbled him off.

"Do you think if I cared I would have done it? Or at least thought twice about it? Do you think if I cared I would have hidden it or even pretended? I simply made sure to show you what I truly am, and if this despicable being I turn out to be disappoints you so much, pray tell why are you still here?"

"..."

Ulysses covered part of his face with the book yet still kept eye-contact. Surprisingly.

Ergo i moved closer, nose to nose, continuing my threatening act.

"Because you're a afraid i assume. Feh, of course you'd be. Pity my light can't reach you, that way you wouldn't be hiding under your own shadow. Oh, but don't fret, my dear! Soon you'll learn how justifiable your terror is, how reasonable is to fear ME--" Huh?

And then i noticed. The truth is, I give him credit that his little tactic worked.

I immediately backed, terrified at the sight of my reflection in his eyes.

"You...!"

"Ugh.. you know what forget it."

I started leaving after we both saw such an ugly phase of mine, stepping by that rug stained with the magenta reminder of my own actions. It looked like he wanted to say something but ultimately gave up.

---

It's unreasonable that he's still disturbed by such idiocy, clearly i'll never intend doing anything to him! He should know better most of my antics are purely faux.

He was going to discover it one way or another, I just saved him the time of figuring it out. If not it would've gone worse.

I had to do it! I had to show him just how..!

How...

...How revolting i am.

He doesn't deserve something as vile as me, it was this or watch Ulysses living in ignorance forever, and I could not endure such torture... Either way it's ok! Isn't being honest with eachother part of the whole romance thing? I didn't do anything bad, i simply showed him an unseen sight of me. If he discovers i'm not for him after that it's alright since, well i can't just force him. That's all.

Nothing more.

...

But... what if he does leave..?

And without him what do i even do?! I'll have nothing! I'll have no one again! I--!

...

Whatever.

I went to the room i self-proclaimed as ours and pretended to sleep.

Ah, i couldn't even take a single bite of my dessert...a dissapointment that is..