#criesforhelp

cries for help

Alright, I wasn't going to make any comment about this; but I feel like I have to... If for no other reason than to get my thoughts written down and outta my head. I also feel like I need to state where I stand on this one. So... I've heard a lot of things said about Adam Hoover during the last day or two, since this story broke. Some good. Some bad. I understand why there are some who feel disappointed.

I first met Adam several years ago. It was a time in my life when I was in a very dark place. I was hard-pressed to see the good in life. I was hard-pressed to see the joy in life. Adam didn't know me from -- pardon the pun - adam, but he offered encouragement and support to this grieving bear who he just met at random on the steps of the state capital. It wasn't a big production. It wasn't a big show. It was one human being offering kindness to another. To be honest with you, I never really knew this activist, public figure that everyone keeps holding up to this high standard. I just knew this guy from Harrison. Very flawed. Very... human. So, why would I hold him up to a standard of perfection now?

During the following year or so, He proved to me that he was a person that was worth knowing. He was far from perfect. Hell, I'M FAR FROM perfect! He was sad at times... He was sometimes scared. There were times when he was lonely, and there were times when he was hurting. In the brief time that we made our connection, he gave way more than he asked for; but there WERE times, no matter how few and rare, that he did ask... But he didn't ask for much. Just for someone to listen. Just for someone to say, you're not alone and you don't have to bear the burden yourself. Considering everything that he gave, it didn't seem like such a big request.

Now, a couple of years later, I see his name all over the news and the internet. I've seen members of our community both curse his name and laud him as his perfect messianic heroic figure. He is neither. He is Adam Hoover. A college student. A gay man. A human. He is a generous person, who has done a lot of good. Did he make a mistake? Of course, he did. Was is terrible? Sure. But I have to ask, is it possible... just possible, that his mother was right, that this is his way of asking for help? If so, how hypocritical would it be for this community to crucify him when he did so much for that very same community?

In the end, despite having lost touch for him the last year or two, I still think Adam is a person worth knowing. More than that. He is a person who has given kindness, even in moments when there was nothing in it for himself. THAT is something so profoundly rare in this world, and -- I hate to say it -- even more rare in this community... A community that is often times defined by run-away hedonism and narcissism.

To Adam, I can only say this. Am I one of those who believe you should become a pariah as some misplaced penance? No, not at all. Am I one of your groupies who think you can do no wrong? Absolutely not. I'm just a guy you once knew, who you extended kindness and got kindness in return. But I can tell you this, If you ever called and asked for support, I (and I know a lot of other people who would do this for you as well) would stand beside you against even the entire LGBT community; because, at the end of the day, the community is an abstract construct. You are a real person. A friend. A good man, who just did a bad thing; but one that I am still I'm proud to have once known.

April, 2012

Sunday, 7:30AM

Do you do case studies? I think I have a disorder where I'm super random with an extreme cases of personality shifts that's on intervals :/

29%Match, 26%Friend, 62%Enemy

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Relatedly: what do we think my clinical obligation is here?  And for the sake of argument, let's assume the answer to that question is not [0].  

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