#creatober2020

~~~

‘It’s just a sprain, walk it off...’ she reminded herself, wincing as she took another step, maneuvering a little clumsily around the kitchen. Sebastian was in the other room already, handing out various breakfast meals to the residents with her being tasked to bring the Rouge and Blanc out for them all. 

There was a pleasant surprise to be found that morning - that all of the mansion’s vampires would be at the table for breakfast, a rare thing indeed. The thought of so many people seeing her in this, injured and probably in need of medical care, was the added motivation needed to not show this weakness in front of them or make a fool out of herself. 

Especially in front of Arthur.

‘Deep breath... Now go’ Lifting the tray, the human pushed past the kitchen doors, a few pairs of eyes turning her way. One stuck out, the eyes of her lover. Blue orbs watched her every movement and if it wasn’t for focusing on not falling, (Y/N) would have seen that the writer had a worried look in his eye. 

Right off the bat he could tell something was off. The way she carried herself was wobbly compared to the day before and her smile was strained. These little things were well hidden, but the part of him that’s observed her so much, to commit ever detail of her to memory, picked up on the ques quickly.

Now, does he speak up right this instant or does he wait until after breakfast? Perhaps he could just pull her aside when she passes him and ask then?

In the midst of weighing the pros and cons of his options, the resident’s sunshine boy pipes up, voice just above a whisper, intending to keep the exchange solely between the two. Fortunately, Arthur was sat directly across from him, so the writer was able to eavesdrop without a problem. 

“Are you alright (Y/N)?” Vincent questioned, staring at her with concern clear in his eyes. 

“I’m fine, really. Please, just enjoy breakfast, alright?” she insisted, forcing another smile. The blond was hesitant but in the end nodded, returning to wolfing down his stack of pancakes. When she turned her back, Arthur took a peek around the table to see for himself, figuring the way she was acting had something to do with her legs or feet.

He was right. 

And she was, in fact, not fine.

Motioning Sebas over, Arthur whispered in his ear and waited. When he got a nod of approval from the butler, he called over his lover.

“Luv? Can you come here please?”

“Mm? What is it Arthur?” The second she was at his side the writer stood and picked her up bridal style, whisking off to his room.

~

She couldn’t look him in the eye, embarrassment welling up inside. Of course her boyfriend would be able to tell if she was hurt or not, and judging by the way he was acting it wasn’t too bad, but not good either.

“You’ve fractured one of your metatarsal bones. You’ll just have to rest up and avoid walking on it for two months, at least...” he spoke, tone professional, almost like he was a doctor once more. Arthur grabbed an old, tucked away medical kit and pulled out something to help with the healing of the bones. The entire time he worked, elevating it her foot and laying her down on his bed, a somber expression was painted all over his face, he too refusing to look at her. 

Why didn’t he notice earlier? The pained faced she was making back in the dining room flashed through his mind causing him to grit his teeth. Could he have prevented her from having to go through such agony if he had just payed more attention? What if-

“Arthur”  

The sound of his name being called brought him back to reality, old scars fading for the moment. A hand reached up, cupping his cheek, a warmth emitting as soon as her skin made contact. God the feeling alone was enough to make him feel better.

“I’m sorry for not telling you, but it’s not your fault, alright?” she soothed, stroking his cheek softly.

“Ah, you’re quiet preceptive my dear~” he teased with a cheeky smile. It’s not really surprising though, considering who she feel in love with.

“I learned from the best” she shot back, pulling him down by his tie into a quick kiss, something he gladly returned.

“Next time luv, tell me if you’re hurt, okay?”

“Okay Arthur, I promise”

~~~

“You can fly right?” The second born brother jumped, both the human and question coming out of no where. It took a moment but Mammon was able to calm his racing heart enough to answer.

“O-Of course I can! What demon has wings and can’t fly?” In truth he hadn’t flown in over 500 years, even then sessions were few and far between. There never really was a reason for him, or any of his brothers that were capable, to use his wings. He wouldn’t say that though, not when his answer brought such a bright smile to his human’s face.

“Can you taking me flying one day! Please!?” They begged, latching onto his forearm, bouncing on the balls of their heels. Mammon’s cheeks bloomed a bright red but he nevertheless nodded, satisfying the human enough for them to thank him before leaving.

A few moments passed until the he stood, departing back to his room with a plan of action already forming in his head.

~

A knock aroused (Y/N) from their slumber, surroundings blurry with sleep. Was someone at the door? Another knock, softer, almost hesitant this time and they knew it wasn’t their imagination. 

“Mammon? What are you doing here?” they asked, eyes clearing up when they met yellow-blue ones. Instead of giving an answer Mammon looked over (Y/N) once, deemed their clothing fit for what he planned and then grabbed them by the hand, tugging them along. 

“Be quiet alright?” the human didn’t say anything more, offering a nod of understanding while allowing themselves to be dragged through the House of Lamentation.

~

“Mammon? Why are we on the roof?” They asked, staring down to the ground. It was high, like really high, with the chances of death severely plausible if they were to fall. 

“W-well...” ah, now was no time to choke up. Just spit it out he told himself. “ya asked me to take ya flying so... that’s what we’re gonna do!” A split second of silence before arms were suddenly wrapped around his neck, face crushed against the shoulder of his human.

“You’re not kidding right? Please tell me this isn’t a joke...”

“Of course it ain’t. Now, close your eyes, alright?” he whispered soothingly, watching as their eyes slowly slid shut, hiding the dazzling (e/c) orbs that he loves so much. Mammon took a breath, mentally and physically preparing himself.

This is the one thing he can’t afford to mess up...

Behind their eyelids a bright light shone for a moment, vanishing as fast as it came. (Y/N) opened their eyes, now met with the demon in his demon form instead of his usual, casual clothes.

“Are ya ready?” He asked, hand subconsciously cupping their cheek, his other hand resting on their waist.

“Ready” Mammon took that as his que, his signature carefree smile that (Y/N) has come to know and love appearing on his face. In one swift gust of air the two were in the sky, (Y/N) wrapped like a kola around the second born’s body, grip tight. A startled screech was produced, the feeling of being so freely in the air a lot scarier than they first imagined. 

In no way, though, was is unenjoyable. 

(Y/N) could feel Mammon’s chest rumbling with laughter and they gazed up at his face, finding that he was staring right back at them. 

“Ya doing okay (Y/N)?” They nodded after a moment of hesitation, the human slowly getting comfortable. Their vice like hold loosened bit by bit until it was but a relaxed yet firm hold. Still, the Avatar of Greed’s palms stayed stationed at their back, holding them close.  

For awhile the duo just glided through the air, pointing out landmarks that they could spot in the Devildom below. Something about seeing the city that they lived in from a different angle made it all the more enticing, the lights that glowed brightly mesmerizing. They flew close around tall buildings, scaling them up and down, and even going as far as flying down near the streets a few times.  

“Hey (Y/N), do ya trust me?” Mammon asked them suddenly. 

“Yeah, why?” The responded, a little confused that he was putting the question out there now of all moments. The grin that was already spread across the demon’s face grew in size as he subtly flew higher, unbeknownst to the human who was focused on him.

“Well, then enjoy the ride. I promise to catch ya so don’t worry too much!” 

“Catch me? Wha- AHHH!”  

Arms releasing them, (Y/N) started to fall through the air. Mammon zoomed down to match their pace, free falling beside them, but making sure to stay within reaching distance. A continuous scream ripped from their throat until their eyes locked with Mammon’s, his mischievous smile calming them just enough to understand what he meant. 

He would never let them fall to the ground. 

(Y/N) chuckled, choosing to enjoy this opportunity. Spins, twirls, they did it all, a gracious dance done mid-air air with the addition of harmonious laughter. It felt magical to them both, a moment in time they didn’t want to ever end.

“How close are we to the ground Mammon?” 

“Crap!” He mildly cursed, clasping their hand and spinning them around onto his back. They were actually really close to plummeting to their deaths. 

“Hold on!” he called, opening his wings up, the wind pushing him back up. Figuring this was a good note to leave off on, Mammon flew back to the starting point of this adventure, crouching so his human could get off his back easier.      

“Thank you so much Mammon...” (Y/N) whispered when they had their feet on the ground, enveloping him into a gentle hug.

“Don’t mention it... and you’re welcome...” he muttered the last part, returning the hug, an emotion spreading within him welcomed. Mammon likes the large grin they had on the entire time, the pleasant squeals they made, it told him that he did good. He helped the person that meant the most to him. Nothing could ruin the happiness he felt in that moment.     

“And where have you two been?” A deep voice penetrated the silence, making the second born flinch. 

~

The walls thrummed with the pounding music that played from surrounding stereos, the vibrations against her back strangely comforting. The lights that swirled around the party room mixed and blurred and the world looked and felt like it was tilted to the right. People passed by her, most in pairs or groups of their friends, along with the odd loner, those by themselves and looking for a means of entertainment. 

A little like her.

The night started out mundane, like many previous nights before. She’d leave to return back to her dorm room, work on any class assignments but ultimately receive a text from either Theo, Arthur or both, begging for her to come out for a drink out in the city. She’d refuse but ultimately get roped in, the promise of drinks being on them too much to pass up.

Late in the night, somewhere between shots, endless rants about life and work, plus the boisterous laughs and the three somehow stumbled their way into a nearby party. The usual bar they frequented wasn’t too far from the residential area, so it wasn’t really that difficult to get where they were now. Still, it was a little surprising to be in one loud place and then another of equal volume.

Taking a breath in the smell of humidity and booze filled her nostrils, but maybe that was just her she was smelling. A cold trickle of sweat ran down her neck, the coolness a stark contrast to the heat her skin gave off.

Amongst the mass of bodies she could barely make out her flirt of a friend, Arthur, over on the other side of the room, two women sliding up on either side of him. A ways away from him stood Theo, who also had a girl hanging off his arm, only he didn’t seem to enjoy the attention unlike the recently turned English major student. 

The music might have drowned it out, but (Y/N) couldn’t help but scoff at the familiar happenings. 

(E/C) eyes wandered around listlessly, searching for something that would spark her interest. The drinks table came into view, the thought of alcohol reminding her of the already present headache from all the other drinks she had earlier. 

‘What the hell... why not. I’m already in deep’ 

The trek to the refreshments was a perilous one, (Y/N) having nearly fallen more times than she’d like to admit and she found herself sighing in relief when she finally made it. Filling the cliché red cup (- you’ve seen the movies) of whatever punch caught her attention, she took a hefty sip as her eyes roamed the room some more. That’s when they landed on him. 

A sense of excitement spiked through her as she grabbed and filled yet another cup, striding over to a spot where the lights don’t quite reach and to someone leaning quietly against the wall. He was staring off into the crowd so he didn’t see her walk up, leading him to nearly jump out of his skin when she spoke up.

“Isaac right? From physics?” she asked, and the question as well caught him off guard, eyes wide as he looked behind him then back at her. 

“Are you talking to me?” 

“Who else?” she giggled, passing him the untouched cup she’s been holding. Reluctantly he took it, their fingers brushing and he could feel the heat rise to his cheeks. Had it not been for the raging lights perhaps she would have seen him in his flustered state, an event that would end in large scale embarrassment for him.

Isaac knew exactly who the woman that approached him was. She shared only one class with him and sat one seat to the right and two forward, close enough for him to hear her but too far to talk to. He’s watched, in a non-creepy way, how she asks for the more complicated material that’s available and has witnessed how she talks with such passion for science. Out of everyone in that seemingly large, boring lecture hall they shared, she was the only one that matched his love for the subject, maybe even understood it as well as he. 

And in turn the smallest of crushes formed. Rather childish he told himself, but he couldn’t deny wanting to get to know her more, to talk day in and out about anything and everything under the sun regarding their shared subject. 

“You know, I didn’t peg you as the kind to come to parties like these” she stated, leaning against the wall next to him while taking another sip of punch, and Isaac found himself doing the same despite not even remotely liking the stuff.

“My friend dragged me here...” 

“What a coincidence, so did mine”

“So why aren’t you with them?”

“They buggered off the first chance they could. Yet I’m still watching out for them, if I don’t it’ll turn out like last time!'' She laughed, remembering the time that Arthur was left on the curb by a group of women, a shell shocked look accompanied by a scarlet red handprint on his face. Then there was Theo who was so drunk he was on the verge of tears just by his older brother lightly scolding him for drinking so much, a sight she shall remember for the rest of her life.

“So why did you choose to come over to me, you could have done literally anything else yet you chose to see me?” he asked before thinking, briefly wishing to slam his head against the wall. Use your head, she was left alone, she wanted company! But he refrained from acting out the rash action, especially after her response.

“Well, if I’m being honest you looked a little lonely and I... wanted to talk to you...” it was the alcohol talking, she knew that, yet she kept going. Sliding a little closer to him she stares right into his cherry blossom coloured eyes, the lights reflecting off the coloured orbs beautifully. 

“But why? Why me, I’m not that special-” he began again, eyes cast down to his shoes.

“But you are!” she cut him off, “I’ve heard you talk in the halls and while your friends might not understand what you were saying I could. Hell, I’ve seen your notebook, and I think there are things you should bring to the table for people to see! Some of them are genuinely extraordinary!”   

“H-how did you see my notebook?!” he gasped.

“You left it open one day after class and I happened to be passing your seat when I saw it.”

“W-well, that still doesn't change the fact you’re just saying all that because you feel sorry for me!”

“No...” she shook her head, voice barely audible above the blaring music and she leaned in closer, close enough that Isaac could feel the heat radiating off her. 

For her that chill on her back made itself known once more, though it was always there to begin with and the air from passing strangers left a light breeze to pass over any exposed skin, a rush of heat happened through her entire body at the same time. What her drunken self was about to do was exhilarating, something that her sober self could only dream to do.

And as their heart beats picked up in speed, she ushered the words in a sweet, quiet voice, words that would set off a chain of events.

“I said all that because... I like you...smart, kind, cute” she smiled, all the moments these traits came through with him rushing through her mind.

Before Isaac could say anything a warmth emitted from his lips and it took a moment for him to realize that she was kissing him.

Not entirely sure where to put his hands, they hesitantly found a place to rest on her waist as he kissed her back, body pushed against the wall. Had the support not been there he may have fallen from an overload of emotion. 

“(Y/N) where are you- ohoho! Now what do we have here~” the teasing voice of Arthur had her pulling away quicker than either would have liked.

“You have the worst timing ever Arthur you know that?” she glared at him, annoyed that he ruined the moment, yet it was something he paid no mind to as a devilish smirk spread across his face.

“No, I believe I have great timing if I'm able to see this kind of show!” he jested.

“What do you want?” she asked and Arthur composed himself somewhat.

“Theo and I are leaving and he told me to come fetch you else he abandons you here” turning he added something about how she should follow along quickly or that threat will become a reality. Before she left though, there was one thing she had to do.

“Do you want to try this? Us I mean?” Isaac gulped at the question, never in a million years thinking he’d get here of all places. But the rate his heart was racing and the quiver of his body had reminded him that, yes, this is real.

“Sure, can we talk tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow” she nodded, turning and walking away with such ease you’d never know that she had lots to drink that night, or that internally she was screaming at having just proposed a date to the boy she’s liked since the first week of school.

The tingle on each of their lips lasted the whole night, just thinking of the act they shared had a rush of hot and cold shooting through them. 

~~~

Tonight Lupin’s was vacant, no one besides himself and the bartender lingering around. Though, that was to be expected considering the late hour Dazai decided to visit the establishment.

The young executive frequented this place a lot, so often that the man behind the bar already knew what he was going to order. Always the same with him- straight whisky. All the male had to do was give the slightest indication he wanted it and he’d have it. 

Nodding, his usual drink was set in front of the brunet as soon as he sat down, the ball of ice clinking gently against the glass. A single trickle of precipitation rolled down the side, encircling the bottom of the cup when it reached it, no doubt leaving a very present mark on the fine wood. 

That is, if he lifted it.

Dazai didn’t though, unintentionally opting to stare at the floating frozen water instead, losing himself in a deep trance accompanied by his unrelenting thoughts. 

What was he living for again? The answer wasn’t coming to mind right away, nor did he think it actually would. It wasn’t a question he entertained a lot, there never really was a reason to. Though right now, he decided he would, just for the hell of it.

Was it so he could one day take down Mori and become the leader of the Port Mafia? It’s the first thing to come to mind, but that might be just because he got off work a little while ago, a conversation with said man having taken place too. Regardless, it was plausible. 

No... no it actually wasn’t. Dazai has zero desire for such trivial things. If anything, being swamped with all the paperwork that comes with the job would only rob him of the very little fun he has now. 

A sip of whisky, Dazai thinks a little deeper.

Is it possibly the boy that was assigned as his subordinate, later becoming his mentee? No, that wasn’t it either. He was getting closer, definitely feeling something towards the weaker individual. It wasn’t anything to keep him around though. What emotion sparked in his chest upon think of Akutagawa was akin to... irritation. 

‘He always goes right for the kill, you’ll get no where information wise if you do that...’

At the end of the day nothing special connected the two. If Akutagawa was to fail a mission and die, Dazai wouldn’t care. Hell, he himself has pulled the trigger on the boy a couple times before. “This is what men like me do to their useless subordinates...”

Another sip. 

It seemed Dazai’s life was greatly lacking in pleasantries, few things exciting him these days. Sure there was his favourite material things, crab and this one racing game he plays, but even they don’t always give that rush of dopamine. 

So what or who had hooked his interest, so much so that he’s willing to keep breathing for just a little longer?

.

..

…

Perhaps it’s Odasaku? He was the first to come to mind when Dazai asked himself that new question. The slightly older male always did have this weird sense of morals that Dazai could never quite figure out. 

‘Refusing to kill people? You’re in the mafia for Christ’s sake Odasaku...’ it fit his character well though, Dazai thought. He couldn’t see his friend taking a life as a simple pass time. Oda would do everything in his power so that he wouldn’t have to pull that trigger. He took care of orphans and gave money to their guardian, it just isn’t him to deal that kind of fate upon someone else.

Dazai sighs, picking up his glass, gentle swirling its contents.

At the same time though, he could not be the reason. Maybe Dazai is just missing his drinking buddy.

Even if the male wasn’t the answer to the brunet’s trivial question, if he suddenly disappeared, it truly could be the tipping point for him.

A few moments of silence passed, the thoughts and questions filling his head calming down with each chime of the clock. The eye he left uncovered glanced at the time, an hour or two having passed since he first walked in. 

The male downed the remainder of his drink, payed what was owned and left. The door creaked open and the bitter January air nipped at his exposed skin, causing him to pull the coat he wore closer around his form. Dying by hypothermia wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to go, it was just far too painful.

Stepping out of the alleyway that lead towards Lupin’s, Dazai strolled absently down the sidewalk in the dead of night. Everything around him seemed to be painted in dull, monochrome shades. Somewhere along the trail his internal challenge from before returned with a final thought, fading away completely soon after.

If he didn’t figure out his reason for living, the want to end it all would remain. Maybe it wouldn’t matter at all in the end, a reason alone didn’t guarantee he’d stay. He’d just lose it like he loses everything he holds of value in his life. It’d be beneficial to Dazai to not hang around any longer than needed.

~

It's very uncommon for the mysterious Dazai Osamu to remain silent throughout an entire work day. Usually the male was only truly quiet when he slept on the Agency’s couch, but even that’s a stretch of the truth.

Right now though, in that moment, he was as quiet as a mouse while he wrote notes and typed up reports. Everyone thought that if this specific scenario ever played out it would’ve been relaxing. Now, as it’s happening in front of their very eyes, the word relaxing was at the bottom of the list for describing the last few hours that had passed.

Something was wrong, the whole room could tell. For the past two years of knowing him, Dazai would simply skip work this day, January 10th, without fail. No one could reach nor find him and he’d return the next day acting like his usual self. Like nothing happened at all. 

When asked by Atsushi, Kunikida would write it off as typical Dazai behaviour, saying not to worry and that’ll he’ll be fine. While the blond did believe that statement, he too was both curious and worried for his partner. Then again, he reminded himself, Dazai is a weird one. No one knows exactly what goes on in that head of his.

Another hour of painfully awkward silence passes until the brunet stands, setting a stack of papers on the weretiger’s desk with his expression changing from a blank look to his signature, goofy smile. On the surface that’s what it seemed like at least, but this one didn’t reach his eyes, almost as if he couldn’t bother to put as much effort into smiling this time.

“All done! You wouldn’t mind looking over them for me would you Atsushi?” Dazai sang the easy lie, already heading out the door knowing full well that the younger boy would finish what he hadn’t.

If not, well, both are definitely in for a lengthy lecture...

Stepping out of the building’s doors, the sun’s rays beat down on the male, yet provided zero warmth to him at all as he made his way downtown, a destination in mind.

~

No words were spoken as Dazai sat himself behind the familiar tomb, back hitting the cool stone. The tree’s canopy above casted shade over him, making it seem like where he was had been separated from the rest of the graveyard.

He didn’t know what to say, never really did when this day came around. Dazai tried to go to work today instead of hanging around somewhere dark at the edge of Yokohama, testing out the whole ‘moving on’ thing since that’s what he would have wanted. 

For the most part it was alright, but it quickly became too hard to keep working with everything on his mind, the wounds still far too fresh.

“I’m doing as you said, Odasaku...” The male finally found a few of the words he’s been meaning to say, but couldn’t, “‘protect the weak and save the orphans’ huh? I just don’t know how well I’m actually doing it.” 

No response, no validation that he was on the correct path - though, why would there be? It’s only him in the cemetery after all.

A soft sigh passes Dazai’s lips, eyes closing and head leaning back against the top of the grave. Little expression was shown on his face and anyone who was an outsider in the situation would think that he’d fallen asleep. In actuality, it was to calm the emotions that churned and bubbled inside.

Sadness, hurt, frustration, guilt, it all swirled relentlessly within. At least now, as he listens to every detailed sound that echoes around, he can breathe just a tad bit easier. 

The sound of the wind, of the tree’s leaves rustling and a bird or two chirping. 

When his inner turmoil settled long enough for him to think clearly again, a question slipped out, blown away by the breeze. 

“What do I do Odasaku?” Dazai didn’t think he’d get an answer this time either, but in a way, he actually did.

The wind picked up, blowing his brown locks in many different directions, and a heat started to emit from his right, like someone came to his side, yet it disappeared just as fast. Taking a glance, no one was there, but Dazai knew it wasn’t his imagination. 

“Keep going...” 

Eyes widening, the brunet shoots to his feet, frantically looking around. He didn’t care if someone saw him and thought him crazy. He heard him, without a doubt. Dazai knows he heard his voice. Is this what people meant when they said that they could hear those who are gone in the breeze? 

The rush gradually died down and Dazai was left standing at the foot of the grave, staring at the carved name in newfound wonder. Slowly the corner of his lips twitched up into a thin smile.

He got his answer.