#create world

Maybe keep a few of them – the ones that actually provide good information occasionally. But cut them down to say 20%. Then, think about the movies and TV you’re watching, and the video games you’re playing, and thin out the ones that are all about solving problems with hate and violence (physical and verbal). Think in terms of creating a more balanced entertainment diet. Watch a good sitcom instead of a reality show about self-centered people fighting and snarling at each other.

When you get home from a stressful day at school do you immediately turn on the news and become overwhelmed with all the politicians fighting and terrorists blowing up mosques and insane killers mowing down school children? The solution is easy, turn it off. Listen to some music instead. It’s good to be an informed citizen, but anything beyond that isn’t really necessary, especially if it is just ruining your day.

You’re probably feeling better already. But there’s more you can do. Move on to your environment – work, school, home, friends, the mall – and be mindful of how the people around you communicate. Are there people you deal with everyday who always feel the need to protect their territory, or use language that makes you and others feel like crap? What can you do about that?

Bad things you can’t control

On Twitter, you can create your online world by choosing who you follow. In real life, though, creating your own world takes a little more work. The problem is you don’t have a lot of control over things that happen outside you – a terrorist attack, an arrogant boss. Really, the only thing you have any direct control over is what you do, what goes on in your mind. And that’s the key to creating your world.

Something very bad happens to you when you experience a lot of negative stuff that you feel you have no control over. It’s called hopelessness. It’s probably the worst feeling you can have. If you’re wondering how it can be worse than panic, fear or depression, think about this. What would you do if you had a fear of snakes and you walked into a room filled with them? Of course, you would panic and leave the room as quickly as possible. Now, what if you were locked in the room with no way to escape? That’s hopelessness – your reaction to your worst fears, your worst depression, your worst anything with no way out. There’s no plan B, no one to help you, just you and everything bad you can imagine.

That’s what makes hopelessness so insidious and evil. For our physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing, we must always feel there’s a way out, something we can do, a chance that someone or something will come along and save our bacon before our plane hits the side of a mountain. It’s one thing to feel hopeless the moment before disaster strikes. But it’s another to feel hopeless all the time. With our media pumping out a steady stream of bad news, is it any wonder that so many people are clinically depressed and anxious? Is it any wonder that so many people turn to hate and fear as a strategy to fight back?

We feel like victims, we shut down, we stop caring or we attempt to protect ourselves by lashing out at others. We desperately try to hold on to something that can’t be held on to, and when the world outside fails us, our spirit deteriorates after years and decades. Hopelessness triggers the release of hormones, such as norepinephrine and cortisol, which is normal when we find ourselves in a panic situation. Under those circumstances the hormones help us deal with an emergency, but after decades they gradually wear us down physically. Our bodies waste away as hopelessness messes with our minds.

The simplest creature spends most of its time doing things to ensure that it will continue to live. Even under extreme situations, a bacteria will struggle to survive. So you would think that the most complex life form would have all the advantages in this area. And yet, people are the only animals that are capable of feeling hopelessness to the point of taking their own lives.

Create your world with words

I don’t think hopelessness is a given regardless of how bad a situation may be. I think hopelessness is all in your mind. As long as we are alive, we have the ability to learn new things. And, though it may be difficult, I think hopelessness is something we can learn not to do.

How do you feel hope in a world that is so full of hate and fear? You start by taking charge of your life. When a friend at work says something to make you feel bad, don’t just immediately accept it as the truth, and assume the posture of a helpless victim. Take the information and decide what you want to do with it. Think about your response rather than allow your emotions to control you. Don’t just take a bullet and feel hopeless. Use the problem-solving abilities in your mind to think about how to take the reins and make things better.

Hate and fear are not useful problem-solving tools. If you use those tools you will always make things worse, never make things better. You will not only hurt others, you will hurt yourself. Love and understanding, on the other hand, are good problem-solving tools. In fact, they are the only problem-solving tools. When faced with any problem, create an atmosphere of love and you will find the understanding to solve the problem, whether it’s dealing with a tyrant boss or a flat tire.

Imagine a future in which just half the people who normally react with fear and hate learned how to solve problems and view life with love and understanding. Words can be used to spread goodness or badness. Doesn’t it just make sense to take a moment before you open your mouth and think about what you’re doing? Your initial emotional reaction may be to spout a barrage of defensive hate, which we know won’t make anything better. Why not instead think how you can use your words to improve the situation?

Hopelessness implies no further moves are possible, checkmate. Therefore, it is impossible to feel hopeless as long as there is something you can do. And there will always be something you can do as long as you’re alive. And if you react with the intention of improving the world in some way, you will not only be practicing love and understanding, you will see that hopelessness is impossible.