#crazy math

Crazy math! I think I will stick with subtraction as it is easier to work out in my head!

Strong metaphors, and high confusion ahead. :)

I find it kind of funny these little ruts I have been dug into. It is all one self defeating equation. Its just a real conundrum because this is a problem that everyone's equation runs into from time to time as our variable change over time. For the most part our equations really are out there for everyone to see. Some are better at reading them, some are better at hiding parts of theirs. Having seen quite a few good and bad equations over the years, and being told what variables never work you would think my equation is spic and span. The entire visible section of my equation looks fine. There are just some outlying variables that I keep of the record. Problem being there have ALWAYS been these outlying variables.

Some of these variables are said to not work. Really what they meant is that in the incorrect context those variables are destructive. What if something supposedly destructive pointed you back towards the constant? Is it not constructive then? The constant only wants for every variable to point to it. I always try to work the variable back in that direction, but then again I never made it past algebra. I guess being stuck in an infinite loop like this makes you re-evaluate the whole equation. It works, it doesn't go anywhere though, and every time I have tried to change the variables half of the equation ends up getting erased in the long run.

So what to do? It's hard to get help when the core of the equation is kind of the issue. I guess with the way math class has been going so far I am afraid to do anything, but then I am afraid I won't have  a good answer by the time class is over and will have just sat by and helped everyone else with their homework. I am not sure but something is pointing me getting help in an unlikely way from an unlikely source here in math class. I don't think they even realize how well they know my equation, I did the noble thing and got a look at her equation and somehow it gave me hope about mine. She doesn't know it but she also gave some really great hints, but I don't think I can take those routes because of how my equation tangles with others close around me.

I think I am starting to get on the right track. As it usually does a great stroke of genius I figure out just which variable needs just such a change and things get rolling again. The constant has shown itself very evident in my equation no matter how much I have screwed it up. I guess I should that as a positive and keep going. Well thank you to those few that I will trust with anything, and I hope to accept that people will take advantage of my help here in math class. My equation was kind of designed that way anyways.

...and at the end of my freshman year at Brooklyn, I will be $15,950 in debt.

That's after subtracting from the total the scholarship that I got from the school, and the probability of my Pell Grant...if the Pell Grant is the same amount that I've been receiving from the other schools, around $4,500

Basically 16 thousand dollars in the hole my first year...and the next three years, tuition alone will cost me $14,490-$12,000 in scholarships= $2,490+ $16,000=$18,490 total in debt.  If I can count on the Pell Grant for the following three years, about $13,500, then...only $4,990 in the hole.  

That's if I don't eat any of my four years and only take the minimum required courses. AND can roll over the money.

Best case scenario with a lot of fairy dust and sketchy side dealings, I"ll graduate with $5000 in debt.  Worst case scenario...I don't even want to think about it.