he'd offered to hold your bags, but you'd bought so much that both his hands were full, and each time you glanced back at him, his palms were growing redder and redder with the weight.

"you okay?" you hummed, slowing your pace for him to catch up, wally having hung back a few moments to stare through the window at the winter sale in gamestop.

his ginger eyebrows rose as he turned at the sound of your voice, his muscles visibly tensing even under his abundance of layers in order to keep out the cold. at the corner of his mouth, his lips curled, like he'd been caught out of something.

"yeah, 'course," he breathed back, sending gamestop another glance before walking back up to you. "just intrigued by the sale."

"i know." you gave him a soft nudge with your elbow. "you've been so good, walking around with me all day. next time when you're not with me, i can stop by the sale and grab you a couple presents from there."

something warm stirred within your chest at the way his cheeks plumped with a full smile, blue-green eyes immediately lighting up. "really? you would?"

with a playful scoff, you gestered to the bags in your grip, and the bags in wally's own. "what kind of person would i be if i dragged you around with me and didn't even think to get you anything? but not today. not when you're here, it needs to be a surprise."

looking back at the rest of the journey ahead, the two of you only having explored half the mall, wally gave a self-assured nod, a new height to him. "i think i could live with that."

even as you kept walking, you extended your drink-holding arm around wally's shoulders, pulling him into you for a moment. you appreciated him, you always did — and more so today, when usually you would be found willingly stuck at home together, skin to skin on the couch and rotting away, watching something on the telly.

but wally's been good, he's been patient, even a gentleman if you want to go that far.

you took a glance around at the crowd, slowly retracting your arm back to you. with a sip of your drink, beginning to reach the dregs of it now, you leaned back into wally, lowering your voice.

"there's still a few stores i want to go to. if you're bored, we could play a little game?" you suggested, keeping your tone light, yet low.

he peered down at you, raising a shoulder in a shrug, jutting out his bottom lip slightly. "i mean, sure. what did you have in mind?"

that was when your smile began to grow, mischievous, secretive. another glance around, and you leaned in, lips near his ear, and whispered. "bogey."

with a genuine smack of a laugh, wally pulled away from your lips, his charming, boyish smile coming into view, a contagious thing, the product of a word he'd never expected, and a game you'd never win.

as you threw yourself back into reality, weaving through the christmas-driven crowds, slowly finishing off your drink and keeping an eye out for a bin, wally went for his turn. he lowered his voice, barely a whisper but still louder than yours had been, just a tad.

"bogey."

knowing how this would end, you couldn't contain a smile, but at least you were at the beginning and could keep quiet. "bogey," you replied, starting to raise volume. slowly, slowly.

passing an elderly couple, wally feigned a cough, and took his turn, raising the volume significantly, though he wasn't shouting just yet. the couple turned and scrunched their noses, and the two of you tried to keep composed.

as obvious as it probably was (and would be), one of the aims was to keep it ambiguous who was actually doing the bogeying.

once you'd passed them, you glanced back, unable to contain your snicker now. "this is going to be so bad," you chuckled, downing the rest of your drink and waving off-course to toss the now-empty cup into a trash can. but on your way back, smile evergreen, you took your turn.

"bogey!"

probably the loudest you'd been yet, though still pushing it as normal conversation volume, your smile wavered as you gauged the growing grin on your boyfriend's face.

it was at this moment, you knew you'd fucked up.

you should've just let him follow you around like a loyal puppy all day, not get him involved in something you knew he'd take so seriously.

eyes still on yours, glistening with the pride of getting to do something of his own accord after silently walking around for so long, wally's mouth opened.

god, you were in for it now.

"BOGEY!"

you could've sworn when his mouth closed again, the whole mall had fallen with a silence only present when the whole building's closed. eyes were on you, you could feel them, boring into the back of your head, staring through the glass shop fronts.

there was no competing with that, a bogey that had practically broken the barriers of sound.

bringing a shocked hand up to cover your half-grin, half-grimace, you bunched into wally's side, the paper bags in his grip rustling against your weight. "holy shit, wally!" you gasped.

even as you attempted to usher him along, the eyes of nearby mall patrons followed, some people laughing along, others not so impressed.

grip tight now on one of wally's arms, you spoke of embarrassment through clenched teeth. "you know i can't go now, you were too loud! i can't beat that."

"oh, so you forfeit?" wally offered in return, a smugness about him you both loved and loathed.

"well—" you struggled, cheeks beginning to ache with a smile. "i don't think it's fair, you knew i wouldn't."

"so you're forfeitting?"

with a scoff, though both of you knew not to take it seriously, you came to a stop, wally's pace falling flat a moment later. "okay, sure. i forfeit. what do you want me to do?"

wordlessly, freckled cheeks beginning to glow with the fairy dust of a flush, wally took a step closer and leaned forward, his ocean eyes falling behind closed lids.

he tasted like peppermint, from the free candy cane one of santa's elves had offered him on the way out of a store, and smelled like christmas section of bath & body works, where you'd sprayed him with all sorts of sprays — and you were there for everybody to see.

You have no idea how you got here. Perhaps it’s your penchant for excitement, or maybe even your love of adventure. However, if anyone would have told you that you’d be in this situation, you would have laughed in their face… followed promptly by an excited, yet curious, ‘really?’

Honestly, you can’t be mad. He is rather cute, and he did go along with it to start.

That’s what happens when you trust a stranger.

You had seen your ex across the park with their new fling walking hand in hand. Or, rather, the person they had been seeing the whole time while you had supposedly been in a relationship with them. Seeing them out looking so joyous had something within you twisting unpleasantly, and if they could look so happy being together and away from you, then so could you.

Looking around the park, you had done a quick scan of the area. Weeding out potential dangers, you finally zeroed in on your target. A man with shaggy black hair half tied up in a ponytail. He appeared to be alone, and the fact that he was crouched by the pond chatting with the ducks had an immediate good feeling towards him building within your gut.

Without a moment to waste, you ran over to him.

“Hi, I know this is really sudden, but could you do me a huge favour?” Your words come out rushed, cheeks heating as you avert your gaze to the side.

Unfortunately for you, your gaze caught on your ex and their now partner rounding the closest bend and getting even closer to where you were standing.

You didn’t even give the man time to respond. All you did know, was that he had stood back to his feet beside you, his beauty captivating you the moment you turned to meet his curiously quirked brow.

“Great, thanks.” You say, offering him a tight smile.

The sound of laughter meets your ears, and you immediately find yourself stepping closer into this mystery man’s side.

A call of your name draws your attention to the side.

“Oh, hey, Colin,” you grin, chuckling awkwardly as you meet his gaze. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Well, we were just out for an afternoon stroll through the park, and I couldn’t help but notice you with-“

“Oh, excuse me,” the man beside you clears his throat, extending his hand out towards Colin. You fail to see the pointed look he shoots your ex’s now partner. “Where are my manners? My name is Seonghwa.”

You swear you see Colin’s partner stiffen beside him, their eyes catching on a large silver and black ring on the duck watcher’s - Seonghwa’s - hand.

“So, how long have you and Seonghwa been together-“

“Well, it was great seeing you!” You cut their words off eagerly, a tight smile painting your lips. 

Grabbing Seonghwa’s hand in your own, you pull him down the path and in the opposite direction of the two of them a bit frantically. You need to get away from an even more awkward conversation than what had already been started mere minutes ago.

“This was a dumb idea.” You keep muttering over and over to yourself as you drag him along. “God- how could I have been so stupid?”

You fail to see the curious quirk of the man’s brow trudging behind you.

Taking a quick look around, you manage to rush across the street and into a side alleyway. It’s a bit secluded, but you could use the space right now. Especially after seeing your ex again.

It takes you a full minute to realize that you’re still holding this mystery man’s hand.

“Should I even ask?” His amused voice greets your ears.

Instantly, you drop his hand, beginning to pace.

“All this time I thought I was over doing stupid things like this to get his attention, but no!” You drawl out that last word, shaking your head. “I just had to go and drag a random stranger into it instead of walking away. God, that was probably so uncomfortable for you. I’m so sorry!” You turn to him, your eyebrows drooping. “You probably think I’m some crazy person obsessed with their ex, or something. I promise you I’m not!”

Your words start rising in pitch, voice taking on a more frantic tone.

“I’m just…. upset at how happy they look after what they did-“ you take a sharp breath in. “And you probably don’t even care, oh my god. Here I am ranting to a literal stranger over my old relationship problems after dragging him across the street.”

The corner of Seonghwa’s lips quirk, resting his one shoulder against the brick wall of the alleyway casually. His eyes continue to track your every movement, amusement dancing within his gaze as he listens to you rant like he’s not even there.

After a few more minutes of you seemingly working yourself up, he cannot help but chuckle, “You know, there’s not many people brave enough to do what you just did.”

This seems to halt you right in your tracks.

You blink, turning to face him fully, and noticing how he’s still been here this whole time.

“To be fair, I thought you would have bolted the moment I dragged you into this alleyway.”

“You’re blocking the only exit.” The grin he wears only widens, watching as your eyes seem to dart everywhere but towards him now.

“Oh.” You laugh awkwardly. “So, I am.”

He says nothing in response, simply continuing to watch you in amusement as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Well, then…” you clear your throat, stepping pointedly to the side. “I won’t keep you any longer.”

His grin only stretches wider across his face. “You sure about that?”

“Well, unless you want to hear all about the relationship struggles of a stranger, I won’t hold you hostage any longer.” You motion for him to walk passed with your hand, signifying his freedom.

“Believe me,” he pushes himself off of the wall, yet opts to stand directly across from you still with his arms crossed. “If I had wanted to escape, there is no way you could have held me here.”

To say you are taken back by his bluntness would be a great understatement.

“Oh?” Your brows raise, an expression of disbelief coating your features. “I mean, it’s not like I was being forceful!”

“On the contrary,” he chuckles, his eyes dancing in amusement. “I had no other choice than to follow you after you had grabbed my hand.”

“Well, I highly doubt you couldn’t have just pulled your hand free-“

“But then what would have our dear Colin have thought?” He hums, tilting his head slightly. “Would have been so scandalous for a couple to act so repulsed of one another.”

“I said I was sorry!” Your shoulders deflate. “You seemed like the best option in the park at the time and I took a chance! You’re the one who went along with it.”

“I’m not so heartless that I would leave someone in clear distress.” His words come out a little sharper than before, and you notice his eyes seem to harden for a moment.

You recoil slightly, blinking at him in disbelief. “I never said that you were.”

He holds your gaze, his jaw ticking. His shoulders seem tense.

“Well, thanks for your help, oh, great kung fu master,” you say, bowing dramatically with an arm across your chest while the other extends out towards the opening of the alleyway. “My apologies if I disturbed your duck whispering rituals.”

Seonghwa takes a moment to observe you, his head tilting curiously. A blink, and you have yet to come up from your mockery of a bow, which only causes a huff of disbelief to escape him through his nose.

“You really have no idea who I am, do you?”

You lift your head, brow furrowed. “Should I?”

Your response clearly catches him off guard. So much so, that he drops his arms to his side.

“Are you some celebrity that I don’t know about?” You shake your head, attempting to place if you’ve seen him on a talk show, or in headlines recently.

This time, the disbelief is clear on his face. “You’ve got to be shitting me…”

“I assure you, sir,” you reply pointedly, “that if I had any idea who you were, I most likely would not have approached the least intimidating stranger making animal crossing sounds at the ducks.”

His mouth falls open, eyes widening as he attempts to refute your statement.

“It was rather sweet, if I’m being honest with myself-“

A blink, and suddenly he has you pinned to the wall of the alleyway. His hands hold tightly to your shoulders, pressing you harshly against the brick as his dark eyes meet your own.

“You need to forget everything you saw, and, or heard today.” He says firmly, his lips curling over his teeth.

“Woah,” you attempt to lift your hands in a shrug, but at the way he pushes you firmer into the wall, his body now pressed against your own, you grimace. “Didn’t realize being human was a sin.”

“You don’t understand-“

“Oh, I don’t understand?” You nod once, slowly, your eyes wide. “Because I’m pretty sure this has taken quite a turn from what we both expected from the other.”

“You don’t realize how dangerous I can be-“

“Is this supposed to be some kind of bad boy act, because it really could use some work-“

“It’s not an act!”

“Oh, really?” You quirk a brow, the corner of your lips quirking. “Then, is that a gun in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

The man before you lets out a long sigh, his head dropping as he takes a step away from you. His hands move almost too fast for you to see, but at the sleek black object that he pulls out, your eyes nearly bulge from your head.

“A gun!” 

“Keep your goddamn voice down,” Seonghwa hisses, tucking the object into the back waistband of his jeans. “I told you I wasn’t fucking around.”

However, you’re not even paying attention anymore.

“Oh my god, I’m going to die….” You’re mumbling again, blinking rapidly as you lean against the wall for support. “Stupid, stupid, stupid trying to enlist help from a stranger. A stranger with a gun, no less…” You smile tightly, looking like you may let out a shriek of disbelief at any second. “I’m gonna be kidnapped, and my cats will have no one to take care of them-“

“I’m not going to kidnap you.” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He goes to reach for you in attempts to calm you down, but you recoil, causing him to immediately back down. “Your cats won’t be orphaned. Relax.”

“But you have a gun!” You whisper harshly, as if it should be obvious why he is a sudden threat to you.

“Hey, if anyone is the kidnap victim here, it’s me.” He hums, that same look of amusement back in his eyes.

“I didn’t-“

“I’ve already had to tell my personal guards to stand down twice since you’ve whisked me away-“

“I was about to knee you in the balls!” 

“Yeah, you definitely would have been shot for that.” He states, rather casually at that.

The look of horror that paints your features is near comical at this point.

He blinks. “You’re not going to be shot-“

“I’m too young to die! I still have my whole life ahead of me!” You begin to wail dramatically.

“You’re not going to die.” He sighs, shaking his head lightly in amusement.

“Says the man with the gun!” You flail your hands, motioning to him with wide eyes. “I knew celebrities valued their privacy, but threats are a whole different ball game.”

“I guess you could call me somewhat of a celebrity.” He shrugs casually, seeming to bask in the idea.

“You, sir, need to sort out your priorities.” You deadpan.

“Says the person freaking out about getting shot by a gun I already put away.” He counters. “Believe me, if I had wanted you dead, you would have been by now.”

“Well, that just makes me feel loads better!” You throw your hands in the air in exasperation. “You certainly know how to pick someone up at the park.”

“You kidnapped me!” He replies, just as exasperatedly.

“I thought you said you’d have no trouble getting away if that were the case.” You simper, nose in the air as you cross your arms over your chest.

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as he takes you in. Then, the most startling sound escapes him since the beginning of your encounter with this mystery duck whisperer.

He laughs. Not a small chuckle, or puff of amusement. A loud, boisterous laugh which echoes off of the bricks of the alleyway as he nearly doubles over.

“God, I haven’t had this much fun since Joong shattered the duplicate blood ruby we were supposed to use to pull off the Mont Blanc heist.” Seonghwa straightens, attempting to catch his breath as he wipes at the corner of his eyes.

You blink, his words seeming to trigger a memory inside of your mind. Curiously, you tilt your head as flashes of breaking news bulletins flit through your mind, your mouth falling open in disbelief. You hand lifts, shaking lightly as you point a finger at him.

“You’re the leader of the notorious Hala gang?” Your eyes go wide, stunned disbelief painting your features. That is, until a shrill laugh is leaving your lips.

Now, it’s your turn to double over in laughter.

“You- you’re the-“ More peels of laughter escape you, hunching over to rest your hands on your knees.

“What’s so hard to believe?” He quirks a brow, seemingly amused by your reaction currently.

“You were making animal crossing noises at the ducks!” Your lips quirk upwards in the corners. “The big, bad, scary Hala boss spends his free time at the pond, cooing to the ducks!”

“Well, we all need hobbies other than murder sometimes.” He shrugs, as if this is the most normal conversation to be having.

“Right,” you drawl out, shooting him a sceptical look. “And diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend. Or, well, in this case, blood diamonds.”

“Actually, it was a ruby. But, fair enough,” he chuckles, his eyes shining as he stares at you across from him.

“Oh, pardon me,” you roll your eyes playfully. “We can’t all be versed in the world of jewels and gemstones.”

He takes a brief moment to observe you, seemingly coming to a decision. The corner of his lips twitches upwards.

“Would you like to be?”

His question clearly catches you off guard, and you nearly go tumbling over your own two feet as you push yourself off of the wall. “Excuse me?”

“Well, seeing as you’ve separated me from my lovely ducklings, and kidnapped me against my will…” he hums, closing the distance between the two of you carefully. “I think it’s only fair that we do something to my benefit this evening. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Almost as soon as he finishes speaking, he offers you his arm. A soft smile tugs at his lips, that glimmer of amusement shining once more within his dark eyes. He holds no aura of intimidation around him, nor does he seem to have any intent of harming you for the moment. Still, you cannot help but to eye him cautiously.

Your gaze flicks from his arm to his face, studying him carefully. Your brow quirks, and you cannot deny the spark of excitement that kindles within you as you gently place your hand on his arm.

“If my cats are suddenly orphaned cause I’m dead in a ditch somewhere…”

The bond was thrumming with desire, heating quickly to a dangerous simmer.

"Will, we can't do this," she pulled him as they exited the turbolift, and he whined.

It was such a startlingly animalistic noise that Deanna stopped to look at him again - to make sure he was still human. His hair was shaggier, but there was no sign of the transformations that had been plaguing the crew. The pause seemed to be the only invitation he needed, and within seconds he was on her. Deanna squeaked as he buried his face in her hair, an inhuman rumble of pure contentment building in his chest as he breathed in deeply. 

He was very close to losing it. 

The desire was beginning to boil, and for a moment - just a moment - she almost let it happen. He was her imzadi, and denying the attraction-

No. Deanna pulled away, eliciting another whine as she grabbed his hand to pull him along. This was ridiculous. They were professionals. If he could take her to sickbay when she’d been infected with the psi 2000 virus then she could do the same for him now. 

"Deanna …” it was almost a groan, and she shuddered, her body reacting to it before it even processed. Fortunately they were close, the cacophony of chaotic emotions swirling ahead was enough to give Deanna a headache, but if it could distract her from the desire …

"Beverly!" She called as the doors to sickbay slid open. Dr. Crusher was in the middle of the room, hair askew and circles under her eyes. Her emotions were all over the place despite her serious expression, and she looked paler than usual. 

“Don’t tell me.” Her eyebrows lifted as she looked between them, and Deanna told her anyway. 

“Will was affected." She shivered again as the man in question bent to begin kissing her neck, almost hungrily. 

"Are you sure?" An unexpected sliver of humor poked out from Beverly's other emotions. "He looks the same to me.”

"Beverly!" Deanna glared, but it was cut off by a yelp when Will ... bit her?! "Will!" She squeaked again, feeling her face heat with embarrassment as the temptation to give in came back, three times stronger than before. It had just been a little nibble but ... ohhh what was wrong with her?

"Okay, Commander." Beverly began scanning, watching her tricorder as the readings came through. "This is a new one. Traces of Canis Lupus DNA, and an overactive limbic system-" 

“Beverly …” Deanna gritted the name through clenched teeth as Will moved up towards her jaw, the desire scalding the bond. “Can you help him?”

“He's a werewolf, and I’d say we’re pretty lucky he likes you.” Beverly's response was a little more serious this time, despite the ridiculous nature of her statement, or the second blush it inspired. But for once the doctor didn’t seem focused on embarrassing Deanna, thankfully. “The best I can do is the same thing I've done for every other volatile transformation.” She turned to retrieve a hypo, her exhaustion bleeding into the air around her. 

Deanna held very still as she moved to administer it, but it didn't land. Will growled - a real growl, the feral kind that vibrated through both of them as he pulled away from Beverly - dragging Deanna with him.

“Don't you growl at me,” Beverly scolded sharply. “I expect that from Worf, but not you.” She sighed. “Deanna, kiss him.” 

“Beverly!” Deanna’s voice pitched up as Will curled around her to nibble on her ear, but the doctor shook her head. 

“I don't want to hear it. The captain is half horse, Worf is missing, Geordi shrank and I-” She tilted her head back just slightly, “I’ve been taking blood supplements for over six hours.” 

Was she- … “Are you- … do you need to feed …?” Deanna didn’t even know how to ask, not sure whether to be scared or relieved when Beverly chuckled. There was no humor, only that same exhaustion from earlier - or at least what Deanna could feel of it through the red heat of her bond and Will’s emotions.

“I don’t have a lot of time for this.” Beverly prompted, and Will huffed right into Deanna’s ear. 

The emotions - the desire - it wasn’t going away, it hadn’t abated, and Deanna hesitated as she considered where the kiss might lead. But … well, Beverly had said to kiss him. 

So she did.

As soon as she turned to meet Will’s lips the desire spiked, almost violently, and she had to stifle a groan of her own as his rumbling growl returned, the heat melting like soft chocolate into something utterly delicious.

For a moment, she and Will were the only things that existed - their desire the only emotion in the universe - and everything was right. 

Then came the hiss of the hypospray, and a yelp from Will. Deanna tried to follow him, still reeling from the strength of the emotions as he swiped a hand towards Beverly, nails slightly sharpened. 

Beverly sidestepped - an inhumanly quick movement - and Will staggered, his heightened emotions dipping quickly into confusion as the sedative took hold. “Beverly?” He squinted at the doctor, and Deanna guided him towards a biobed, licking her lips just slightly. 

She could still taste him.

“Just take a little break, Commander.” Beverly took his other arm, and in just a few moments he was being pushed to lie on a biobed, eyes drifting closed as he succumbed to the sedative. The medical scanner whirred as Beverly ran it over him again, seemingly satisfied as she activated the restraints. “Now if you’ll stay for a few tests, I’d like to see whether you’ve been affected, and if not maybe we can finally find an antidote for this.”

Deanna was still looking at Will - at his shaggier hair, flushed face, and his soft lips. 

You try really, really hard to not fixate too much on the whole being a woman in the boy’s club thing because you’ll drive yourself insane if you do.

You’re good at your job, you’re not getting preferential treatment, and all is right in the world. Your team was cautious, gauging your capabilities but ultimately warming up to you and welcoming you into the fold.

A mission planned with 141 and Shadow company means that Graves is a tolerated interloper into the group.

Everyone is settled into a booth in the corner of a pub near base, a few drinks in as the night wears on. You are finally feeling settled in and like your feet are firmly underneath you and you’re no longer treading water, watching your back as the other 141 assess you.

And it’s the exact moment when Graves asks “Are you seeing anybody?” that you realize you’ve girlbossed entirely too close to the fucking sun.

The table’s reaction is immediate. Your “I beg your pardon?” is muffled by Ghost’s “Sod off, Graves,” Soap’s “She’s been fucking drinking” and Gaz shooting him a look while Price clears his throat with a pointed “Commander?”

Good to know your team has your back because what the fuck.

“Not like that,” you’re not entirely certain if he’s back peddling or being genuine, “I don’t know what it is but none of the women around this base date. It’s like pulling teeth.”

“Really?” Gaz asks. “I haven’t been having any issues.”

Your eyebrow arches, reaching for your drink as you realize there’s not enough alcohol in the world for this conversation. “Yeah no ever since the B.A.G. Coalition was formed, you’re gonna have to download Tinder or something, Commander” You speak without thinking, a look of horror dawning on you that the alcohol has loosened your lips a little too much. Well, shit.

“The what?” Graves asks incredulously.

You panic, reflex having you turn towards Price. “Please get me out of here,” you plead with him.

“Oh no can do, Sergeant.”

You cling to your glass like a buoy. “I’ve said too much,” you whisper.

“What the hell is the B.A.G. Coalition?” Graves asks again.

Taking a long draught of your drink, you steel yourself for both this conversation and the potential wrath of the bunnies now the open secret was out.

“Have you… noticed how the barrack bunnies don’t have anything to do with you?”

His eyebrows draw together. “Guess I never bothered to worry about it. Not like they’re hard to find,”

That last sentence had some teeth to it that you did not appreciate. Especially coming from a man who’s managed to piss off an entire base of them. “Hey now, I love the bunnies, you gotta be nice to them,” you admonish before remembering yourself and quickly adding a “Sir”.

The alcohol has your mind drifting away from the question at hand and going slightly to the left- still focused on the bunnies, but no longer directly leading to the coalition.

“They do important work and make my life easier when some guy is being obnoxious and won’t leave me alone,” you elaborate. “Also most of them are really nice and I don’t blame them for having a type and staying focused on it. I admire the commitment and tenacity.”

“Wait who was bothering you?” Price would hone in on that part.

“No one anymore, after I weaponized one of the bunnies and pointed her in his direction.”

“You…. Weaponized a barrack bunny?” Soap sounded out the idea, clearly having some image of a tactical assault bunny in mind.

“Yes I did. It was absolutely incredible. Poor guy never saw her coming- it was like watching a lioness take down a wounded gazelle.”

“A bunny battalion,” Gaz sighs into his drink, his pupils damn near in the shape of hearts at whatever image his brain was conjuring.

“What the fuck do barrack bunnies have to do with this coalition you’re talking about,” Graves tries to redirect the question.

Shit. Right.

Like, you get why he’s confused. From his perspective at least. Tall, blonde, conventionally attractive with a southern drawl most girls would go gaga over, not to mention the commander of Shadow Company. He should be having women chase him from all over. And here he was with no bitches and getting zero play.

And yet none of those attributes were actually indicative of him like… being a good person. Graves soured you like 3 day old sweet tea. There was something both saccharine and bitter about him all wrapped together even if you didn’t know for sure what the problem was.

“You did something to piss off the bunnies. I don’t know what and frankly I'm afraid to ask. Like, I thought maybe some supreme pick me bunny would rise from the ranks and make her move anyway but they have made a united front. It is both impressive and terrifying,” you’ve got just enough alcohol in your system that fuck it, let’s tell a superior officer a little something about himself that he clearly doesn’t know. “And the rest of us noticed. So it slowed the not-bunnies rolls too.”

There’s a beat of silence before the lightbulb clicks in Ghost’s head and he is busting out laughing. You don’t think you’ve heard him ever make that much noise even when he’s grousing out orders.

Gaz is the next one for the lightbulb to go off, verbalizing what B.A.G. stood for to a stupified Commander (and equally stunned Soap and Price).