calianna’s letter to caleb
(spoilers for episode 71)
I wanted to write something for you because I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to you when I left this swamp. I wanted to say thank you for helping me, for trying to reassure me, and be nice to me as we travelled. You also taught me a lot.
I’m sorry you and Miss Beau had to fight because of me. I hope things are okay now? It's so strange to me... I was obviously grateful that she trusted me and stuck up for me, but I also know why you had to be sure, and why you didn’t trust me. In a way, it felt kind of good to have to prove my intentions to you, it made me realise how important this task is to me. Even though it is hard, even though it is dangerous, telling you what I intended to do reaffirmed it in myself.
I had been hurt and betrayed by a lot of people, Mister Caleb. I’m not very good with reading people. I’m not used to being lied to. I think I’ve learned a little from you, and will be more careful in the future.
The last thing I want to say: on our journey, you kept saying how you and the Mighty Nein were assholes, were not good people. I don’t know much, Mister Caleb, but I know that is not true at all.
My blood, the way I look, make people hate me. They fear me, they try to kill me, call me a monster, a freak. Even the people I try and help sometimes turn on me when they see me for what I am, but when I met you, and Jester, and the Nein, you didn't do that.
You helped me, you made me laugh. You apologised and assured me. You were kind to me. You're not assholes. Mister Caleb, you're strange and a bit weird, you protect the people you care about. I'd give a thousand treasures to have people like that in my life.
My friend Magda tells me that every time I say something bad about myself, I am putting iron weights in my pockets: sooner or later, you'll drag yourself down and not be able to get up.
Be kind to yourself, Mister Caleb. I don’t want your pockets to get too heavy.
